The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial

Court Transcript

Bailiff: All rise for The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial. The honored Judge Mental presiding.

Judge: Call the critic.

Enter JETHRO.

Prosecutor: Jethro, have you provided a brief of the work's history?

Jethro: Yes. This happens to be the latest adaptation of Herman Wouk's novel The Caine Mutiny, which was most famously filmed in 1954, and dramatized by its author on Broadway under this film's title. This particular version is also the final film for the recently deceased director and writer William Friedkin. I covered the sequel...

Prosecutor: That's enough. What's the movie about?

Jethro: It's about The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial.

Silence.

Jethro: Obviously. When the film opens, Lt. Stephen Maryk (Jake Lacy) is standing trial for unjustly relieving Lt. Commander Queeg (Keifer Sutherland) when their ship, the USS Caine, was caught in a storm and the captain couldn't captain. That mutiny was the culmination of Queeg's erratic behavior throughout the tour of duty, so says Maryk. Maryk's lawyer, Lt. Greenwald (Jason Clarke) thinks his client is guilty. It's up to the trial board presided by Captain Blakely (the also recently deceased Lance Reddick) to decide whose career is on the line.

Prosecutor: What did you think of the film, Jethro?

Jethro: On my first watch, I found all the talking pretty overwhelming. The film is specifically based on the play, after all, and you can tell. Oh, you can tell. The logistics of its ending didn't make much sense either. Fortunately, as I watch the film a second time, specifically as I write this, its intricacies make a bit more sense. I mean, the film wants to be ambiguous whether the mutiny was justified or not. 

Prosecutor: And do you think it is?

Jethro: Sutherland's performance makes me think it was a bit warranted. What we see of Queeg is that he's a nervous wreck, the kind who would freeze up during a storm. He also accuses Maryk of exactly what Maryk accuses him of in clear denialist form. But he's such a nervous wreck that we still pity him. It also helps his case that Maryk's opinion was influenced by co-defendant Keefer's (Lewis Pullman) dubious knowledge of psychiatry. It's pretty reasonable for Maryk to take charge during an emergency. But was Queeg really out of it? Suddenly, the ending makes a bit more sense.

Prosecutor: And what about the rest of the cast?

Jethro: They're all fine. Maryk does a good job of presenting his case, while Keefer's case shakes once we learn of his psychiatric "knowledge." Greenwald's best moment comes when he confronts Keefer at the end. We feel it when the normally quiet Blakely all but threatens to throw the book at Maryk. The supporting standout is Petty Officer Urban (Gabe Kessler), whose one scene has him give an utterly clueless testimony. How clueless? He doesn't seem to know what the trial is about. Overall, no further objections.

Judge: I've heard enough. You give the verdict, Jethro.

Jethro: The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial is a slow and talkative courtroom film. It's also worth seeing, if once, for Sutherland's performance and the distinction of it being Friedkin's final film. It's currently playing on Showtime, which is how I saw it, and is streaming on Paramount +. I'll leave it to you to decide when and where to watch it. I'll leave it up to you to decide whose side you're on. That's what the film wanted. But why a trial? There's no defense and the prosecutor did nothing.

Prosecutor: And did it well.

Judge: I'll do something. Adjourn the case.

End of trial.

The Exorcist: Believer

How did this cost $400 million?!

It didn't Baxter.

 $400 million is what Universal paid to make this new trilogy.

OK, let me rephrase. The Exorcist Believer cost $30 million and, assuming the other movies are that much, where did the other $310 million go? Was $400 million in the budget to begin with?

It's one of life's greatest mysteries. 

I like a good mystery. Let's get on the case of this film.

OK.

Victor Fielding (Leslie Odom Jr) lost his wife, Sorenne (Tracy Graves), to the 2010 Haiti quake. Their daughter, Angela (Lidya Jewett), was born in the aftermath, and he's been overprotective of her ever since. One day, he lets her hang out with her devout bestie, Katherine (Olivia O'Neill), after-school. He thinks it'll be all right.

It's not.

It turns out the girls were trying to commune with Sorenne. They pop up three days later at a barn, shaken and bruised, but all right. But then crazy stuff happens, and the girls turn erratic. It soon dawns on Victor's neighbor Ann (Ann Dowd), a nurse, that the girls are possessed. She directs him to Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn), the mother of the one-time possessed Regan (Linda Blair). A cross-faith team of Exorcists soon assemble to cast the demon out.

The new trilogy was conceived by director David Gordon Green (the recent Halloween films), who co-wrote it with Peter Sattler and Danny McBride. This is a decent first installment all things considered. It builds and sustains suspense as the girls go from "slightly erratic" to "supernatural." The quake sequence is just as scary as a demon's temper tantrum. Its talks of cross-faith exorcism practices are compelling. But it stumbles badly once it gets to an ending that so heavily emphasizes the bitter in bittersweet that it's a downer. It nearly sours the whole 111-minute affair.

Which leads me to one of the strangest compliments I can give a film. The film leads us to believe that its demonic adversary is the first film's Pazuzu back for round two. But according to Green, it's actually a fellow Mesopotamian deity, Lamashtu, who antagonizes the film. Why the ambiguity? Chris and Lamashtu's shared history is muddled thanks to this off-screen development. The compliment is for voice actress Lize Johnson, who would make a good replacement for Mercedes McCambridge as Pazuzu but is still unnerving on her own as Lamashtu. Does that make sense?

What makes better sense is its technical work. The girls' disheveled looks as Lamashtu takes further hold of them is the makeup team's greatest achievements. In fact, Katherine's fully demonic form makes her a strong dead-ringer for Regan. The sound designers excel at creating and mixing plenty of unsettling sound effects. They're at their strongest during the Exorcism. I've already mentioned the quake, but the visual effects team do a decent job visualizing some creepy demonic displays. Still, one of the Exorcists getting the neck-twist treatment was unintentionally silly. 

What about the cast? Angela's longing for her mother is compelling, while Katherine is all right. It's quite convincing when Lamashtu uses them to guilt trip their parents. Is Lamashtu making it up or speaking the truth? Victor spends the movie trying to make sense of the world. We feel for him when he has to commit Angela to a psychiatric hospital. The otherwise bitter ending helps him work out his relationship with Angela in spectacular fashion. Ann starts the film as a typical pesky neighbor, but she quickly redeems herself. Norbert Leo Butz and Jennifer Nettles are pretty good as Katherine's dad and mom, Tony and Miranda. But Chris is just a glorified cameo, while the other Exorcists are just there. 

Will the Power of Christ compel you to see The Exorcist Believer? Maybe. It's got some good scares, but the ending is really bitter. It might leave you wondering what was accomplished. Maybe the sequel, subtitled Deceiver, will redeem the franchise. Maybe not. As for me, my next review is the swan song of William Friedkin, the first film's recently deceased director. It's coming soon.

Dumb Money

My co-host for this review is Buck the Duck.

Is it because my name is Buck?

Yeah.

....

Anyway, Dumb Money is sure to remind you of The Social Network, even superficially. It's based on another book by Ben Mezrich (The Antisocial Network), edited by the earlier film's co-editor Kirk Baxter, released by the same studio (Columbia), and is executive produced by the Winklevoss brothers. Let's see what they did.

It's 2020 and that stupid pandemic is in full swing. Financial analyst and Youtuber Keith Gill (Paul Dano) notices that Wall Street is betting big that GameStop will go under. So, he decides to buy big on GameStop stock and encourages his followers to follow suit. When 2021 rolls around, those mostly young investors become richer at Wall Street's expense. Naturally, the big wigs, including Melvin Capital's Gabe Plotkin (Seth Rogen), aren't happy. Their attempts to curb their financial damage just makes it worst for them. That's when The House gets involved.

I think that's it.

Yeah.

The screenplay by Lauren Shucker Blum and Rebecca Angelo does a good job developing its multiple subplots. We get to know several of Gill's investors, including GameStop clerk Marcos (Anthony Ramos), college kids Harmony and Riri (Talia Ryder and Myha'la Herrold), and struggling nurse Jennifer (America Ferrera), as much as Gill and his Wall Street adversaries. Their financial struggles are palpable once the film introduces their initial financial wealth (some in the negatives). We're on their side by the time Wall Street tries to stop their investments. We're certainly pleased by the reversal of fortunes outlined in the epilogue (other than some bigwigs escaping a few lawsuits).

As for the main plot, Dano does another good job making Gill into a likable guy. He's just as financially struggling as his followers, so he's just as stunned as Wall Street when his big bet pays off. He stands up for himself spectacularly in a humble testimony in front of the House committee. "I just like the stock," he says of GameStop. On the supporting side, Pete Davidson is fine as his brother, Kevin, while Clancy Brown and Kate Burton are fun as their parents. His adversaries are surprisingly pitiable despite their financial callousness. That especially includes Rogen, Vincent D'Onofrio (utterly unrecognizable as Steve Cohen), and Sebastian Stan (as Robinhood founder Vlad Tepev). 

What else can I say? Dumb Money is a smart investment. It's a great crowd-pleaser about an unorthodox counteroffensive against Wall Street greed. Its multiple stories will draw you in even if you know how the main one turns out. It's enough to make me want the book even more. You might get the same urge once you watch it. See it soon.

The Creator

So, I'm currently in Los Angeles in the year 2055. In this future, advancements in artificial intelligence made everything better. There are even robots! You should come visit! Wait, what's that? I've just been told it's a nuke. A nuke. A nuke?!

(Boom)

I'm okay.

What happened, Daisy Mae?

I think I wandered into The Creator's first few minutes. That's that new sci-fi movie from Gareth Edwards, that fellow who did that one Godzilla film back then. (That narrows it down, thanks.). Jethro, can you explain what else happens in that film?

OK.

After that incident above, the US declares war against AI itself. It's still popular in "New Asia," so that's where most of the fighting is. The US government has a kill satellite, NOMAD, that makes blasting AI outposts easier. But they soon get wind that Nirmata, the mysterious Creator of AI itself, has a new superweapon. Naturally, they need someone to destroy it.

Enter Sgt. Joshua Taylor (John David Washington). He was maimed in the L.A. attack and lost his wife, Maya (Gemma Chan), during a NOMAD attack. He only gets on the mission when his c/o's, Howell and Andrews (Allison Janney and Ralph Ineson), show him that Maya's alive. He soon discovers that the superweapon is actually a robot girl, Alphie (Madeline Yuna Voyles), who can control technology at will. Taylor decides to protect Alfie from his superiors. The chase eventually leads them to NOMAD itself.

This is essentially a futuristic Vietnam War movie. My mind went there once Taylor and his comrades make it to New Asia (it was shot in Thailand). Their opponents have no capacity, and as the film reveals, no desire to fight back. You'll especially hate soldier McBride (Marc Menchaca) when he threatens a puppy. It has a surprisingly funny gag involving an overly polite translator during the raid. But other than McBride, most of Taylor's comrades are forgettable cannon fodder. That includes a dead soldier who is briefly downloaded into a robot; I even forgot his name.

Taylor himself is quite likable. His character type maybe familiar, but we're on his side once Maya is lost. His and Alphie's relationship is compelling, especially as they discuss their chances of Heaven. Howell and Andrews are either decently detestable villains or pretty good anti-villains. That depends on your interpretation of the mid-film reveal. Ken Watanabe is quite good as robot guerilla leader Harun. But Taylor's old comrade Drew (Sturgill Simpson) and his robot wife, Kami (Veronica Ngo), are underutilized.

The real star of the film is its technical style, which was produced with a bargain budget of $80 million. There's plenty of impressive mechanics, which include some goofy walking bombs, a massive tank, a robot octopus and NOMAD itself. But the visual effects department's greatest achievement is seamlessly integrating CGI robot parts with actual actors. James Clyne's production design presents a visually appealing future on both sides of the Pacific. Cinematographers Greig Fraser and Oren Soffer do a good job visualizing its war movie tone. Its greatest aural achievements come from NOMAD's ominous drone and Hans Zimmer's latest grand score. Somebody is surely going to get an Oscar-nomination, if not a win, for this film.

The Creator is a decent sci-fi film. It's somewhat overlong at 133 minutes, but it's such a trip taking in its technical style. It helps to have a good pair of co-leads to take us through the future. See it on the biggest screen you can find. I think you'll get a good matinee out of it.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Three Others

It's going to be a few months until next year's Oscar shortlists are announced, and I've got four potential contenders for the Live Action Short Oscar race here. They were all adapted from Roald Dahl's bibliography by Wes Anderson, who previously adapted Dahl's Fantastic Mr. Fox. They share a combined company with Benedict Cumberbatch, Dev Patel, Ben Kingsley, Rupert Friend, Richard Ayoade and Ralph Fiennes, the last of whom pops up as Dahl himself in all four shorts. All of them are available on Netflix now.

They all share the same disregard for "show, don't tell." We get vivid action narrated directly from Dahl's text but rarely see any of it. They're practically stage plays with appropriately theatrical production design by Adam Stockhausen. The abundant narration is a double-edged sword as I'll explain. But let's introduce the shorts now.

The Rat Catcher: The narrator (Ayoade) recounts how he and his friend, Claud (Friend) encountered an unusual ratcatcher (Fiennes) in a desolate town. This Rat Man believes the best way to catch a rat is to become one. His unsettling appearance is evident of that. The unseen rat population upstages the Rat Man's attempts to eradicate them. The Rat Man's human audience isn't impressed, either.

Its narration is probably the most intrusive of the collection. We not only see and hear the Rat Man's creepiness, but we see and hear the narrator describe his creepiness too. It's pretty redundant. Worst of all, it's kind of stiff. It's still striking when the Rat Man produces a rat - portrayed by a prop and stop-motion - for a demonstration. You won't forget it even if you can't tell what happened. It's a weird film.

Poison: This short story was once adapted for Alfred Hitchcock Presents in 1958. In it, Harry Pole (Cumberbatch), a British man in Colonial India, has a problem. There's a Common Krait, an extremely venomous snake, on his stomach. The narrator, Woods (Patel) summons Dr. Ganderbai (Kingsley) to help extract the snake. But Harry has a bit of a gratitude problem, afterwards.

This is easily the tensest of the shorts. Cumberbatch sells us Harry's situations with his body language alone. The narration perfectly establishes the Krait's threat. There's palpable desperation as Woods and Ganderbai ponder their options. Its ending involves a shocking outburst from Harry that practically leaves Ganderbai dejected. The abruptness of the ending speaks for itself. 

The Swan: The Narrator, Peter Watson (Friend) walks us through an eventful Saturday morning in his young life. That day, he (Asa Jennings) gets taken for a day of "fun" by two bullies, Raymond and Eddie. Peter is an avid birdwatcher, so one of the bullies goes hunting with his new rifle. Things get weirder after the bullies shoot a swan.

This has the best narration of the shorts. It's all a long monologue as Friend portrays all three characters. The rest of the cast is filled by stagehands and a stoic Jennings. It's an impressive performance as while we, thankfully for once, can't see the action, Friend's range perfectly conveys the characters. We feel for Peter when he pleads for the swan's life, while we detest the bullies for their cruelty. It all leads to a weirdly abrupt ending.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.: The Swan was published in the collection The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six Others. This is the centerpiece to both Dahl's and Anderson's collection. This is over twice as long as the other three, clocking in at around 39 minutes, while the others are 17 minutes.

What's it about? Henry Sugar (Cumberbatch) is a rich man who wants to be richer. He finds a medical report by one Dr. Chaterjee (Patel) about Imdad Khan (Kingsley), who professed he could see without his eyes. Henry trains himself to do the same so he could cheat at cards. He wins millions of dollars but loses the satisfaction of money. That's basically it.

Let's elaborate anyway. Its theatrical gags are plentiful and amusing. They don't even bother hiding the visual effects that let Khan's Guru (Ayoade) float, for example. Its nested story approach, going from Dahl to Henry to Chaterjee to Khan to Chaterjee to Henry is an interesting one. Its deadpan acting is played for drama at the end of Chaterjee's story. While Henry's Heel Face Turn is mostly narrated, him giving his money away to strangers thankfully speaks for itself. Overall, its technical and narrative style makes it the most memorable of the shorts. This is the likeliest Oscar nominee of the bunch.

They're all pretty good shorts. They could have been better if the action spoke for itself more. Still, they aren't boring, so they should make for a good home matinee. My next review will be of one movie. What a concept.

The Amazing Maurice

Mummies was rather so-so, but The Amazing Maurice lives up to his title. This animated adaptation of Terry Pratchett's The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, an installment of his Discworld novels, also premiered in the States earlier this year to scarce distribution. It's available on Hulu and other streamers in case you're interested.

The Amazing Maurice (Hugh Laurie) is a talking cat who runs a Pied Piper scam with his human Keith (Himesh Patel) and a colony of talking rats. The rats invade towns, Maurice sells Keith’s services and Keith leads them away. It’s a simple scam until they target Bad Blintz. There’s no food or rats in town, which genuinely perplexes our heroes. They come across Malicia (Emilia Clarke), the mayor's genre savvy daughter and this film's narrator. They decide to investigate the mystery. Their investigation sees them cross paths with the town ratcatchers and their eerie Boss Man (David Thewlis). Meanwhile, Maurice, much to his horror, becomes a nicer cat in the process. That's basically the gist.

The film was written by Terry Rossio, an appropriate choice considering he co-wrote Shrek. It wastes little time setting up its irreverent tone. There's a framing device, the book Mr. Bunnsy has an Adventure, which Malicia frequently reads from to juxtapose with the plot. The Rats, who come with names like Dangerous Beans (David Tennant), Peaches (Gemma Arterton), Nourishing (Julie Atherton) and Darktan (Ariyon Bakare), learned morality from this book. There's even a living windup mouse, Mr. Clicky, who is more than a joke. How they and Maurice gained sentience involves Discworld mainstays Unseen University and Rincewind the Wizard. You needn't know who they are to understand that story.

Now for the cast. Maurice is a delightfully smug kitty who considers himself the smartest thing in the room. He's still compelling when his self-assuredness starts to crack, and he gradually grows selfless. You'll definitely feel it when he meets "The Grim Squeaker." The Boss Man is easily one of the most unnerving animated villains in years. You can clearly tell that this trenchcoated man is inhuman long before the reveal. Thewlis's vocal performance is wonderfully sinister. The Rats are a likable and sympathetic assortment of rodents. Keith and Malicia are likable human protagonists; her meta commentary has a few zingers. The real Pied Piper (Rob Brydon) shows up as a memorable side antagonist.

There's some great animation and character designs by Studio Rakete and Real Star 3D. Pretty much everyone except the Boss Man (obviously) are all appealing, and that includes the Ratcatchers. Its most appealing visuals come from the 2D animation in the Mr. Bunnsy scenes. It really sells us on the Peter Rabbit parody that the book is. The final battle with the Boss Man is a spectacular climax in every way. Tom Howe's score is quite splendid to listen to with and without the film. Maurice's musical number wherein he sells a town of suckers the scam is quite catchy. 

The Amazing Maurice is a wonderfully fractured fairy tale. Its voice cast is clearly having a ball with their roles, while Laurie, as Maurice himself, has the biggest one of all. I think it proudly represents its author's creativity. It's sure to entertain everyone for a nice and quick 93 minutes. It's surly worth whatever price you find it for on streaming. So, hurry up and press play.

Mummies

I command thee, oh Mummies, to rise from thy cinematic tomb. Thy North American box-office run ranneth dry, but now, oh Mummies, thy have a chance to regain thy glory with Hulu streaming. Rise! And conquer...

(It hurts my throat to type this...)

In simpler English, Mummies is a Spanish animated film that debuted earlier this year. It was so scarcely distributed in the States that you'll probably first hear about it when you see it on streaming. I, on the other hand, heard about it when it debuted. You'll hear what I thought of it after I saw it on Hulu.

Underneath modern Egypt is the World of the Mummies. There, living mummies live and party like it's no later than 1999 BC. One mummy, Thut (Joe Thomas) is an ex-charioteer living on his past glory. He's accidentally betrothed to no less than Princess Nefer (Eleanor Tomlinson). Both are mutually disinterested in each other, but it's too late, and Thut has to guard a MacGuffin wedding ring with his un-life. But when the living archaeologist Lord Sylvester Carnaby (Hugh Bonneville) steals the ring, Thut, his younger brother Sekhem (Santiago Winder), and Nefer, rush to get it back.

They end up in modern London. They may look normal, but if you shine a spotlight on them, you'll see their true skeletal forms. But that's not much of a problem for them. Did I mention Nefer's an aspiring singer? She is, and she's soon discovered by a music producer, Ed (Shakka), who makes her a super star. Lord Carnaby decides to make the mummies the living stars of his next exhibit. They'll have to walk like an Egyptian real fast back to their world. Hey, the soundtrack includes the song, so it's not a shoehorn.

I can't tell whether this was produced in English or Spanish. The dubbing either way is pretty good for an average kid's film. This was clearly made for young kids with its simplistic story and ample slapstick. Its oldest viewers will greet it with groans at worst or neutrality at best. The groans get louder, for example, when the mummies keep splatting like Ancient Egyptian paintings. Its story is so simplistic it doesn't even dwell on death. It opens on Thut's last race, and we're led to believe he was killed there, but no, what actually happened is anticlimactic. Watch closely and you will know they were in Mummy World the whole time. The climax even gives us a fakeout death cycle in less than a minute.

There are occasional bright spots. Nefer has an "I Want" song that gets interrupted pretty early. She later derails a performance for Aida and her musical duel with the leads is amusing. This is where Ed discovers her, by the way. The film's most appealing character is the sidekick Croc, who's practically a puppy, and is "voiced" like a squeaky-toy. Lord Carnaby is a sinister mommy's boy (Celia Irmie is Mommy Carnaby) and a pretty decent villain, overall. Its animation is decent, and Fernando Velázquez's score gives it a nice sense of grandeur. 

Don't expect to unearth any real surprises with Mummies. Its plot is rather average, but a few characters and moments spark some life into the proceedings. Its 88-minute runtime is a welcome rarity these days. It's a harmless film, so you can see it if you want to. But I've got a better film to tell you about that's on Hulu. That review is coming very soon. 

Flamin' Hot

 It's quite a conundrum to praise a biopic with questionable veracity. On one hand, Flamin' Hot is a funny and compelling rags-to-riches story; on the other hand, its subject's biggest claim to fame has been widely disputed. What do I do? Praise the movie, nevertheless?

I'll do that.

Linda Yvette Chávez and Lewis Colick adapted Richard Montañez's autobiography A Boy, A Burrito and a Cookie: From Janitor to Executive for Eva Longoria's directorial debut. Montañez's disputed claim to fame was inventing the Flamin' Hot Cheetos while he worked as a janitor for Frito-Lay. Montañez, as played by Jesse Garcia, narrates his life story throughout its 99 minutes. It's quite a story.

As a poor boy, Richard sold burritos to his classmates. As an adult, he and his wife Judy (Annie Gonzalez) were part of a street gang. His friend, Tony (Bobby Soto), helps him get a job at a Frito-Lay plant. Richard, an aspiring machinist, learns quite a lot from engineer Clarence Baker (Dennis Haysbert). He decides to a pitch a new flavor to CEO Roger Enrico (Tony Shaloub) when Frito-Lay starts mulling layoffs. He just needs the right spicy recipe.

Garcia is quite charismatic as Richard. We're on his side whether he's an aspiring businessman or struggling family man. We feel tense for him when he argues with his abusive father, Vacho (Emilio Rivera). He and his family's flamin' hot experiments yields some hilariously tough results. He and his friends getting the product to sell by word-of-mouth alone is beyond impressive. It's still a decently compelling story whether or not it's true, and Richard is the biggest reason why. His persistent narration is as charming and funny as he is. It all pays off when he's promoted at the end.

There's a good supporting cast here. Gonzalez as Judy has great chemistry with Richard, while her proactive personality is praiseworthy. Haybert as Baker initially doesn't know what to make of Richard's boundless enthusiasm. But we see how warm a mentor he is once he comes around. I didn't recognize Shaloub until I saw his name in the credits. But his performance as Enrico is quite likable. Rivera as Vacho tries to atone - not perfectly - for his past behavior. His and Richard's still-strained relationship is perfectly tense. Matt Walsh is fine as Richard's floor-manager Lonny Mason. He seems like a reasonable authority figure, letting Richard work despite him pulling the thread on his resume, but he reveals himself as a condescending fool down the line.

Editors Liza D. Espinas and Kayla Emter let us into Richard's imagination. He beats up a racist co-worker and gag dubs a stuffy board meeting in some weirdly amusing bits. His conversing with Enrico by VHS is a good reflection of his charismatic optimism. Back in reality, his Flamin' Hot experiments are wonderfully fast paced. All in all, it’s great work. Marcelo Zarvos’s good score is kicked off by a vibrant rendition of the Searchlight Pictures theme. The soundtrack features a good selection of songs. 

A few questions and answers:

Should I see Flamin' Hot despite its inaccuracies? Yeah, it's a good crowd-pleaser with a great lead character. It moves along quite smoothly, so prepare for a good home matinee.

Any Negatives? It's a cliche plot, and it takes an hour in before the Flamin' Hotness enters the scene. But those gripes are irrelevant because the film's that likable. And again, the central story is compelling.

Where Can I see It? Disney Plus and Hulu. I saw it on the former myself. And I'm already in the mood for the titular snack. You might agree if you see it soon on either service. That's it for now.

Tetris

Who ever thought that the last big battle of the Cold War was over a video game? It's true, more or less, according to Tetris, which revolves around the legal and political war over the video game. It debuted on Apple TV Plus in March, but I didn't get to it until now. It's time to press start and see how it is.

It quickly sums up how Soviet programmer Alexey Pajitnov (Nikita Yefremov) developed Tetris, which soon became the hottest video game behind the Iron Curtain, and how game designer Henk Rogers (Taron Egerton) came across it at the Consumer Electronics Show. He decides to invest in the relatively simple game. It's clear sailing from here, right?

No. It seems that one Robert Stein (Toby Jones) snatched up the rights already, sublicensing them to Mirrorsoft's Robert Maxwell (Roger Allam) and son Kevin (Anthony Boyle). Rogers only has the rights in Japan. It's still enough to get Nintendo onboard, especially to get it published for their forthcoming Gameboy. But when the Maxwells encroach on Rogers's territory, he decides to appeal to the Soviets directly. The Soviets aren't happy that an American wants to profit from "their" property. Rogers, meanwhile, befriends Pajitnov and decides to give him his financial due. The Maxwells won't give up without a fight. 

That's basically the gist of Noah Pink's screenplay. Its 118 minutes are full of corporate and political backstabbing, reversals, counter-reversals and more. The overall story is compelling even if it's somewhat hard to keep up with all the names. Still, it's pretty satisfying when the villains are out-gambitted. It all leads up to a fictionalized car chase as Rogers and his Nintendo partners, Howard Lincoln (Ben Miles) and Minoru Arakawa (Ken Yamamura), race to the Airport before the also-fictional Central Committee goon Valentin Trifonov (Igor Grabuzov) gets them. I'll elaborate more on the plot when I get to the characters.

Egerton plays Rogers as an affably optimistic businessman. The opening has him re-iterate what I said in the second paragraph to a bank manager (Rick Yune), and how he rejected a good deal with Nintendo for a better one. We see him as a good family man for his wife, Akemi (Ayane Nagabuchi), and his kids, though the Tetris War strains his relationships. Yefremov is quite compelling as Pajitnov, a man trying his best to live under the Iron Curtain. Their real-life friendship is a compelling plot thread. Wait till you see how Rogers gives Pajitnov some ideas to improve Tetris.

The Maxwells make for sufficient villains. They're both sneering baddies, but Kevin's sense-of-entitlement will make you detest him more. But you'll sympathize with Kevin when he realizes how financially and morally bankrupt his father is at the end. It's quite a stunning reversal. Trifonov is even more loathsome than the Maxwells, particularly when he all but threatens to toss Pajitnov's sons out a window. His being out-gambitted is the most satisfying part of the film. Stein is just fine as an antagonist, but he's outshone by the Maxwells and Trifonov.

Director Jon S. Baird's technical style is impressive. The editing is fast paced, especially during the final car chase, which even turns into a video game at times. The pixel art title cards are a fun flourish. Production Designer Daniel Taylor and the visual effects department get points for flawlessly recreating the Soviet Union in Scotland. Lorne Balfe's techno score incorporates the game's signature Korobeiniki tune. That soundtrack is easily the most memorable part of a memorable film.

If there's any flaw, it's that the video game footage is sometimes mismatched. A Zelda game featured is obviously not from the 80s. Nevertheless, Tetris is still an outstanding historical thriller. It may also get you in the mood for a round of the game. I did just that before working on this review. It's ready to stream when you are. On to the next review.

The Monkey King

I told you I saw a better film today. And here it is...

That would be The Monkey King, a Netflix release based on the Chinese literary staple, Journey to the West. The 16th-century novel has been adapted into everything several times over. That's not getting into Dragon Ball and its spin-offs. So how does it compare to the other films? Read on.

Monkey King (Jimmy O. Yang) was born from a stone on a mountaintop. The other monkeys shun him until Monkey gets himself a magic stick (Nan Li) and defeats an evil demon. Monkey sets off to defeat 100 more demons so that Buddha (BD Wong) and the Jade Emperor (Hoon Lee) will make him a God. During his 100th battle, he meets a village girl named Lin (Jolie Hoang-Rappaport) who becomes his assistant. Whether he likes it or not.

Lin is actually an agent of the Dragon King (Bowen Yang), the deity from whom Monkey pilfered the stick. Lin just has to steal the stick back to get the Dragon King to save her village from a drought. But the Dragon King actually needs the stick to start his torrential conquest of Earth. Her task is complicated when she and Monkey become friends. That's basically it.

The film is a decent compression of the novel's first seven chapters (out of 100). There's some tweaking here and there, such as introducing Lin, but there's plenty of recognizable plot points. Monkey's demon fighting montage even includes more of the novel's demonic rogues gallery. Its sense of humor is relatively modern, but it's got some good gags. The only downside is that Monkey's personality constantly fluctuates between arrogant all-powerful monkey to selfless hero. It gets worse at the end when it has to bring in Buddha. Still, Monkey's trickster persona is delightful when he fights his first demon. 

Monkey, despite his inconsistencies, is an entertaining and even sympathetic character. His arrogant attitude is tragically understandable with his outcast upbringing. Lin makes for a good deuteragonist and foil for Monkey. One can easily sympathize with her as Monkey disregards her help. Them becoming actual friends is decently compelling, but their final scene together is moving. The Dragon King is an entertaining bad guy all the way through, complete with his own villain song. His sidekicks, Babbo and Benbo (Ron Yuan and Joy Koy), are surprisingly amusing. The Red Girl (Sophie Jean Wu), Monkey's 100th demon, and King Yama (Andrew Kishino), the ruler of Hell itself, are fiery scene-stealers.

This is a film where monkeys, demons, gods and more fight all across existence. Naturally, its production and character designs are all appealing. Everyone from Monkey to King Yama looks great, while Buddha is just stunning. Sure, their hair isn't as animated as them, but the characters are still impressive. Stick's glowing is cool, but the most impressive thing about him is his digeridoo-style voice. How did Nan Li do it? We also get a grand score and some catchy songs from Toby Chu. I already mentioned the villain song, but the montage song surprisingly fits.

The Monkey King should make for an easy home matinee. It's only 96 minutes long and they're sure to fly fast. It's a bit inconsistent, but it's still a good introduction to the classic novel. To answer the question at the beginning, I don't know which film is the definitive telling, but I think they're all worth comparing to each other. See it soon and you might see what I mean.

Wonderwell

 Wonderwell is a forgettable family fantasy film, but it had a few things that drew my attention. First, its trailer showcased an eerie floating head conversing with its young protagonist, Violet (Kiera Milward). Second, this wrapped filming shortly before star Carrie Fisher's death in 2016. Seven years later, here we are, wondering what went wrong with this well.

Anyway, William Brookfield adapted his short story, Drainhole Dreaming, for Vlad Marsavin to direct. The aforementioned Violet accompanies her family to Italy as her older sister, Savannah (Nell Tiger Free), auditions as a model for fashion star Yana (Rita Ora). She's always feeling left out, so she takes a hike into the woods. That's where she meets the witch Hazel (Fisher), who recognizes Violet as a fellow witch. Did I mention Violet has a magical bond with plants? She does.

Violet finds a giant plug in the middle of the woods. She sees another her down there, and they switch places. Beyond the Wonderwell is the Inferno, a dimension that looks like hers. Sure, there are giant monsters (including the floating head), but everyone else is exactly the same. But Violet is privy to how miserable everyone else is. Meanwhile, Yana happens to be an evil witch who wants Violet's McGuffin bracelet to take over Violet's home dimension, Paradiso. Or something.

The story crumbles once Violet enters the Inferno. Paradiso doesn't even figure at all once she makes the switch. The Inferno is so similar to Paradiso - other than a lot of red weeds, which had me thinking the apocalypse happened - that it's like the switch never happened. There's something about Violet becoming aware of how the world is, just as her parents (Lloyd Owen, Megan Dodd) realize how exploitive the modeling world is. But couldn't another McGuffin reveal the truths? Yana's evil plans for Savannah are somewhat unclear; she's not even siphoning beauty from her models. The ending is simply the most confounding anticlimax in years.

Fisher gives the film some much needed levity as Hazel. Milward is fine enough as Violet, Owen and Dodd are basic on Paradiso and unpleasant in Inferno, and everyone else is just OK. On the technical side, we get an impressive CGI creature with the floating head. Still, what it's supposed to be is as baffling as the plot. The other monster, a giant flytrap, is a good mix of CGI and real puppetry. Cinematographer Kenji Katori gives us some nice views of Italy, while William Ross & Angelo Badalamenti collaborate on a decent score.

Wonderwell is a mess from its story to its tone. Its long-deceased star livens the film with her warm presence. But it's not worth much beyond a rental, which I did. There are plenty of better family films around for streaming. In fact, I saw a better one today, too. You're going to hear about it next.

A Haunting in Venice

Hercule Poirot took quite a layover from the Murder on the Orient Express to the Death on the Nile. But he's already back to solve A Haunting in Venice, which sees Kenneth Branagh, once again as director and M. Poirot, and writer Michael Green, visualize one of Dame Agatha's last and least-adapted stories, Hallowe'en Party. Let's see how it is.

This time, Poirot has retired to Venice, a few years after World War II, after losing his faith in humanity. But humanity intrudes on Halloween in the form of Ariadne Oliver (Tina Fey), the crime novelist who credits herself with making Poirot famous. She invites him to a party and seance at the palazzo of the similarly reclusive soprano Rowena Drake (Kelly Reilly). Oliver suspects that Drake's medium, Joyce Reynolds (Michelle Yeoh), is a fraud, and wants Poirot to expose her. Reynolds does give a convincing show as she communes with Drake's deceased daughter Alicia (Rowan Robinson), but Poirot reveals her in no time.

The fake medium then becomes actually dead. M. Poirot's little grey cells go to work as he interrogates the suspects. His investigation is hampered by ghostly hallucinations, supposedly related to the palazzo's gruesome history. As usual, the killer isn't afraid to add to the body count. So, M. Poirot has his work cut out for him.

The film pretty much discards the novel's plot for its own. A few character names are retained, but they're entirely different people in both mediums (Reynolds especially). The new plot runs at a very quick 103 minutes. It's quite creepy, though the seance scene is a bit over the top. The ghastly affair is generally and sometimes exhaustingly deadly serious. How serious? M. Poirot rarely shows off his delightful smugness here. It's quite relieving when he does, especially when he plays off the similarly smug Ariadne.

It's livened up further as Poirot interrogates the suspects, particularly Alicia's ex-fiancée Maxime (Kyle Allen), housekeeper Olga Seminoff (Camille Cottin), and Dr. Leslie Ferrier (Jamie Dornan) & his precocious son Leopold (Jude Hill). It's quite profound as we learn their hidden motives and secrets. The actual killer, twisted as they are, is quite pitiful in their last moments. The most memorable character outside of the suspects is Alessandro Longo (Amir El-Masry), a guy who desperately tries to hire Poirot for a case. It's quite nice when Poirot takes up that case.

It's time I rounded up the usual technical suspects. The palazzo makes for a great haunted house. It's so undeniably gothic you'd be creeped out long before you hear of its gruesome history. John Paul Kelly's production design is complemented by the creepy Halloween costumes by Sammy Sheldon (Reynolds' mask and cloak are particularly striking) and Haris Zambarloukos's claustrophobic cinematography. They're aided aurally by an unnerving sound design and Hildur Guðnadóttir's foreboding score. Lucy Donaldson's best bit of editing is Poirot's dual interrogation of Reynolds' sibling assistants, Desdemona and Nicholas Holland (Emma Laird and Ali Kahn). Let's not forget the ghostly visual effects, especially during the culprit's demise.

All in all, should you partake in Poirot's seance? Yes. A Haunting in Venice's new plot is just as twisted as Christie's finest works. It thankfully doesn't fall victim to a bungled sequel hook, though its overbearing seriousness nearly does it in instead. I'm still ready and able to partake in another Poirot tale should they make one. I'd even go for Christie's Poirot-less The Last Seance. See it on the biggest and loudest screen as soon as possible, even if you have to wait for ... gasp ... home media!

The Equalizer 3

I reviewed The Equalizer long ago, but I skipped the 2018 sequel for some reason. Well, I'm back, and so are director Antoine Fuqua and star Denzel Washington, for The Equalizer 3. Let's see what main character Robert McCall's been up to.

McCall (Washington, naturally) starts the film being held at gunpoint in a mafia wine cellar. McCall killed all the other henchmen at the winery, and now, head honcho Vitale (Bruno Bilotta), and his surviving henchmen, will end him. He ends them instead and takes off with some money. But Vitale's young son shoots him on his way out. McCall passes out in the town of Altamote, where good doctor Enzo (Remo Girone) and officer Gio (Eugenio Mastrandrea) fix him up. He soon settles down nicely in Altamote.

Meanwhile, the Camorra (the Campanian mafia) plot to run everyone out of Altamote for their real estate. The Quaranta brothers - Don Vincent (Andrea Scarduzio) and brutish enforcer Marco (Andrea Dodero) - are the film's specific big bads. They brutally extort, terrorize and murder anyone in their way until McCall finally steps in. That's basically the gist of the movie.

It takes what seems to be an hour before McCall finally takes on the Camorra. All the while, we get a few sequences of drawn-out brutality that will have you wishing McCall would step in immediately. They're quite detestable from their first scene onwards. Dodero perfectly sells Marco as a downright thug, while Scarduzio's Vincent is generally subtle in his villainy. On the plus side, it makes it cathartic to see McCall take them on. It's only 109 minutes long, so it's not dragging things out too much.

The side plot follows CIA Agent Emma Collins (Dakota Fanning) as she investigates the mafia's ties to drugs and terrorism. I worried for a bit that it would end up a disconnected tangent (like in Day of the Soldado). But it makes sense once we learn Vincent's involved. Collins is a fine character, though the various supporting characters in Altamote were generally more memorable. A few highlights include Enzo, Gio, Gio's daughter Gabby (Dea Lanzaro) and Angelo the fishmonger (Daniele Perone). At the end, we learn that McCall went off to Italy on behalf of a couple (Marco Giulliani and Simona Distefano) swindled by the mafia. We barely know them, but we're still pleased when they're saved from bankruptcy.

Now for the star. Washington's easy-going nature is still present and accounted for. McCall is still charismatic whether he's an ordinary man or an Equalizer. In the latter phase, he's truly a nightmare to evil, which is accentuated by Robert Richardson's cinematography. McCall's first scene in the wine cellar is wonderfully foreboding. McCall's good nature and his interactions with Altamote's residents makes the slowest parts compelling. 

The Equalizer 3 promises to be the last of the film series. If it is, it's a decent way to end a trilogy. Its plot maybe slow, but it's not too long and its star is still as compelling as ever. See it whichever way suits your time. It's still a good time at the movies. That's it for now.

Gran Turismo

 It's been ages since I brought up Neill Blomkamp. What's he been up to lately? Well, he did the horror film Demonic and he would have done Alien 5 if not for reasons. He's back with Gran Turismo, which is both named after the racing video game series and a biopic of a particular real-world racer, Jann Mardenborough.

The film opens with a history of the eponymous games. Among its fans are Jann (Archie Madekwe), who dreams of racing real cars over his ex-footballer dad Steve's (Djimon Hounsou) objections. Meanwhile, marketing bigwig Danny Moore (Orlando Bloom) gets Nissan to sign off on GT Academy, a reality show in which GT racers are trained as actual racers. Jann qualifies for the GT Academy after he wins an online race. He and nine other recruits are put through boot camp by ex-racer Jack Salter (David Harbour). Eventually, Jann makes it to the finish line. It's not clear sailing from here.

Jason Hall and Zach Baylin's screenplay fundamentally sounds like every cliched sports movie ever. The son with big dreams, the parent with (admittedly sound, considering the sport) objections, the gruff trainer, the tragic accident, the big comeback and so forth. There's naturally a rival, who comes not in the form of a GT student, but Josha Stradowski's arrogant Nicholas Capa. It's still as emotionally effective as every cliched sports movie ought to be. You'll feel it when Jann has his tragic accident and cheer when he makes his comeback. 

There's a good cast here. Madekwe as Jann is so likable, we're invested in him even when the film slows down. We're impressed as Jack is when he diagnoses a brake problem from his GT experience. Speaking of Jack, his unabashed cynicism is delightfully entertaining, and we're invested in him as he becomes a genuine supporter. Hounsou's Steve is a lot more believable than most forbidding fathers. We especially feel it when he and Jann reconcile at the end. Capa and the other GT racers are just there. The most the latter do is fill out Nissan's team at the climax in Le Mans.

Blomkamp's panache helps liven up the proceedings. There's an audacious charm when the film briefly turns into a live-action video game at times. Jann is even "awarded" a trophy for avoiding the cops after a drunken party. It's also impressive to see cars assemble around Jann a few times. The racing scenes, both digital and real, are spectacularly shot & edited and are set to a dynamic score by Lorne Balfe & Andrew Kawczynski. 

Gran Turismo's true story is a reasonable framework for its video game narrative. Its plot is overtly familiar, but you'll still be invested in its lead character all the way through. Its racing scenes are worth seeing on the biggest screen you can find. They're just as spectacular as Ford V Ferrari's races. See it soon if you want to see it on the biggest screens possible. It's sure to liven up what maybe an otherwise dull September.

Blue Beetle

DC’s newest film, Blue Beetle, involves one of its oldest superheroes. Or rather, the latest incarnation of one of its oldest superheroes. The name debuted in 1939, but his latest alter-ego, Jaime Reyes, debuted in 2006. I could go into detail about his multiple publishers before DC, but that would complicate a review of an uncomplicated movie. Let's go.

Jaime (Xolo Maridueña) returns home from law school with debt on his mind. Not only does he have student loans to deal with, but his family is about to lose their home following his dad, Alberto (Damian Alcazar) losing his business after a heart attack. He and his sister, Milagro (Belissa Escobedo), are hired as cleaners for evil rich lady Victoria Kord's (Susan Sarandon) mansion. But they're quickly fired. Victoria's niece, Jenny (Bruna Marquezine), promises Jaime a new job or two. But all Jaime gets out of the job interview is a Burger Box which Jenny tells him not to open. 

Jaime opens it anyway and finds a metal scarab, Khaji-Da (Becky G), inside. Victoria wanted it to reverse engineer her own line of super soldiers, the OMAC. Instead, the scarab merges with Jaime and morphs him into a blue-armored superhero. Naturally, Jaime wants answers from Jenny. Victoria wants her “property” back and sends her proto-OMAC, Ignacio Carapax (Raoul Trujillo), after him. The whole family will have to chip in to stop the bad guys.

Director Angel Manuel Soto and writer Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer have created a light superhero film. Jaime's first transformation into Blue Beetle is more farcical mayhem than horrific. Underscoring the scene with the Spanish song La Chona accentuates the chaos until Bobby Krlic's score fully takes over. There's more hilarious chaos during Jaime's subsequent outing as he deals with his new powers. Its chipper tone keeps our eyes on the screen instead of our watches during its 127 minutes. Its most cliche elements, including Carapax's proclamation "your love for your family makes you weak," Jaime's retort to that, and a family member's seeming death (as opposed to another's actual death), aren't a detriment.

Naturally, the cast keeps our attention all the way through. Maridueña as Jaime is a likeable go-getter and incredibly selfless long before he meets Khaji-Da. His on-screen family and their chemistry are endearing. In addition to Escobedo, Adriana Barazza (Grandma), Elpidia Carillo (mom Roccio) and George Lopez (Uncle Rudy), get some great lines. Their collective likability makes the midpoint devastating, but they all bounce back when they storm Victoria's castle with Jenny's dad's (second Blue Beetle Ted) weaponry. 

Now for the others. Jenny and Jaime make a good on-screen couple. She's easily more likable than her condescending aunt, played perfectly by Sarandon. Carapax is capably brutal, while his aforementioned taunt makes tragic sense once his backstory kicks in. The Kords' head scientist (Harvey Guillen) is so delightfully goofy, that we feel a bit sorry when Jenny swipes Khaji-Da under his nose. The film makes a big deal out of Khaji-Da being a planet destroying weapon, but Khaji-Da's personality barely correlates with that. Khaji-Da has some great chemistry with Jaime, too, especially when it stops him from killing Carapax.

The film's visualization of Jaime's Blue Beetle armor highlights its technical proficiency. The costume designed by Mayes C Rubeo blends spectacularly with its CGI enhancements. Its various powers and weapons are pretty cool, too. Its production design is equally impressive for turning Decatur into the fictional Palmera City. I'm pretty sure I recognized a few streets beneath their own digital enhancements. The only bit of CGI that didn't blend well was a surprising gadget in the climax. Everything else is seamless. The action scenes also blend nicely with Krlic's techno score.

Blue Beetle is every bit as fun as The Flash wanted to be. It's just as fun watching its superhero talk to his family as it is watching him fight bad guys. Its most poignant moments come when the Reyes family are comforted by their neighbors following their midpoint tragedy. You'll leave the theater hoping for more rather than being glad it's over. Indeed, the mid-credits promise a certain character's return. Overall, it's a late summer surprise that you need to see as soon as possible. It's even playing with a Spanish dub. So, you have your options. 

The Last Voyage of the Demeter

 It's time to hear more about a film I namedropped.

Did you ever want to know what it was like to sail with the definitive vampire? Well, we've got the movie for you. The Last Voyage of the Demeter expands the Log of the Demeter section of Dracula's seventh chapter to feature length. Let's see how they fared.

July 1897. The Demeter makes port in Bulgaria. Captain Eliot (Liam Cunningham) and his first mate Wojchek (David Dastmalchian) look to fill the crew on their way to London. All prospects jump ship once they realize that the Demeter is taking on a certain bunch of crates. Dr. Clemens (Corey Hawkins) comes aboard after he saves the captain's grandson, Toby (Woody Norman), from being squished by a crate.  Clear sailing, right?

A week or so later, the crew discovers an anemic stowaway named Anna (Aisling Franciosi) inside one of the crates. Suddenly, something else feeds on the crew. It turns out that Dracula (Javier Botet) is aboard, and Anna was brought along as his "rations." She and the survivors have to keep Dracula from reaching England. I think you know how it ends for them.

This was conceived by writer Bragi Schut Jr and directed by André Øvredal (Trollhunter, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark). What do I think about the end result? It sets up its mood rather well when the Demeter is found crashed ashore in the opening. Clemens's introduction and how he gets a spot on the Demeter is quite compelling. It's even got some strong jump scares, particularly when one of the crew turns into a Zombie Vampire. 

Where does it go wrong? An overwhelming sense of genre blindness. The Demeter realize Dracula's with them when he slaughters the livestock. They don't know he's a vampire but realize he's dangerous. But they don't even look for his hiding spot until much of them bite it. It's not a rather proactive plot, to say the least. Schut was inspired by Alien in writing the script, but both the xenomorph and Nostromo crew were more active than either party here.

We now get to the on-screen crew. Clemens, as I previously said, had a good first scene. He also had a great finale as he fights Dracula and parts with Anna. It would be a waste if he didn't appear in a sequel covering the rest of the book (I have an idea that purists will hate on how he fit in). Anna turns out to be cool when she proves herself quite adept with rifles. Captain Eliot and Toby get the film's most dramatic moment when the latter is vampirized. Joseph the cook (Jon Jon Briones) is quite quirky, and even unnerving when he goes mad later on. But other than them, the rest of the crew are either unlikeable or dull. Fortunately, the least likeable of them are Dracula's first victims. 

Dracula himself is the film's visual highlight. His visage is that of an even more ghoulish Count Orlok from Nosferatu. His unnerving, withered form leads to a spectacular jump scare when he pounces on a victim like a leopard. What makes him visually marvelous is his design; most of the time, you can't tell if you're looking at a CGI monster or a real man in makeup. The Demeter herself represents some good production design from Edward Thomas. It's a creepy ship even before Dracula makes his presence known. The sound design helps out with Dracula's unnerving shrieks. Bear McCreary's score is pretty bombastic, especially its end credits theme, but it's pretty moving at times.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter is an admirable seabound horror film. It may not be proactive, but its technical aspects and lead character are compelling. Who knows if a prospective sequel will be made given its box-office. But at least we have Nosferatu to look forward to ... whenever. It's surely a unique spin on Dracula, that's for sure. That's it for now.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

 It's been a while since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles headlined their own movie. It's been a bit longer since they headlined an animated movie. They get to do both in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, which was spearheaded by Seth Rogen but directed by Jeff Rowe. Let's see how it is.

Scientist Baxter Stockman (Giancarlo Esposito) always wanted a family. So, he made a family of mutants with green ooze. His employers, TCRI, hunt him down and kill him. But Stockman's ooze got into the sewers and mutated four turtles into Leonardo (Nicolas Cantu), Donatello (Micah Abbey), Raphael (Brady Noon) and Michelangelo (Shamon Brown Jr.) and a rat into their Master Splinter (Jackie Chan).

Years later, the Turtles hide in the New York sewers and only surface to steal supplies. One supply run leads them to encounter their first human friend, April O'Neil (Ayo Edeberi). April is an aspiring reporter who wants to unmask the criminal mastermind "Superfly." The Turtles decide to help her, hoping to be accepted as heroes by the general public. Things get complicated when they discover that Superfly (Ice Cube) and his gang are Stockman's mutant family. Superfly is out to help mutants take over the world. The Turtles can't let him do that, no matter how cool Superfly and his family are.

The film proudly emphasizes the teenage part of the title. They goof around, make mistakes and yearn to connect with humans their age. They’re rowdy & rebellious with their sheltered lives and we believe it. That the turtles are voiced by teenagers this time greatly amplifies this fact. They have such entertaining chemistry and buoyant personalities. It makes it all the more moving when April rallies NYC to help them defeat Superfly after they're initially slandered on the news. Even earlier, Splinter's flashback to how he and the Turtles meet is an endearing moment.

A good hero needs a good villain and Superfly is on the case. He initially appears to be a cool fly when he welcomes the turtles to his family with open arms. But he turns frighteningly vindictive once the turtles show some hesitation. That's all before he turns into a giant chimaera in the climax. The film's literally sketchy art style perfectly sells us on that form's unnerving nature (the component animals still move around!). Giant Superfly gives the Turtles a perfectly suitable final battle. 

Now for a few other characters. The mutant family is made of familiar names such as Bebop (Rogen), Rocksteady (John Cena), Mondo Gecko (Paul Rudd), Wingnut (Natasia Demetriou) and Leatherhead (Rose Byrne). Their personalities are eclectic as their character designs. They get their best moments when they rebel against Superfly. Splinter gets some great character development as he loosens up. April is quite compelling as we see her overcome stage fright to help the Turtles. Meanwhile, co-villain Cynthia Utrom (Maya Rudolph) is just there to be important in the sequel. The mid-credits promise that and another familiar face.

Overall, Mutant Mayhem is an entertaining reboot for the heroes in the half-shell. Its crassest jokes aren't a detriment to its compelling family story and radical fight scenes. It also has a great Reznor & Ross score to punctuate its many moods. Its art style is as unique as its teen comedy angle. See it as soon as you can. It'll make not just a great family matinee, but a great distraction from the heat.

Haunted Mansion

 Christmas in July is a thing, so why aren't people open to Halloween in July? When Hocus Pocus underperformed thirty years ago, folks partially blamed its off-season release that aforementioned month. They'll likely do the same for Haunted Mansion, Disney's second attempt at making a theatrical movie based on its Disneyland attraction. Let's see how they did it this time.

Single mom Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) and her son Travis (Chase Dillon) move into an old house in New Orleans. They immediately move out once they realize that it's occupied by ghosts. But the ghosts refuse to leave them alone until they move back in. So, they do. Everybody got that?

They're eventually forced to hire some outside help. Their ghostbusters are astrophysicist Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield), Father Kent (Owen Wilson), history professor Bruce Davis (Danny DeVito), and medium Harriet (Tiffany Haddish). Like them, they're also forced to stay at the mansion. Their investigation leads them to the ominous Hatbox Ghost (Jared Leto), who really wants them to stay. Permanently. Perhaps the ghost of Madame Leota (Jamie Lee Curtis) can help them send Hatbox back to the other side.

I admit that the original attraction was one I skipped when I went to Disneyland in 2016. So, all the references director Justin Simien (Dear White People) and writer Kate Dippold threw together mostly flew over me. That's not to say I wasn't impressed. Actually, this is a surprisingly visually inventive ghost movie. Production Designer Darren Gilford, cinematographer Jeffrey Waldron and the visual effects team conjured up a splendidly surreal mansion. We get such sights as a rotating hall, vanishing windows, a stretching room and a variety of ghosts. The climax with numerous ghosts flying around is spectacular. Leto is virtually unrecognizable under the CGI and modulated voice as Hatbox. His facial expressions and lip-synch were a bit off, but it's mostly marvelous.

The acting was mostly good. Gabbie and Travis are fine protagonists, but they're often overshadowed by the others. Stanfield's Ben gets the most compelling arc as he comes to terms with his wife, Alyssa's (Charity Jordan) sudden death. We feel it when he reminisces about her in front of the others. Bruce's joke afterwards makes for welcome levity, while a stray cat Ben keeps meeting is surprisingly relevant. Bruce and Madame Leota are entertaining, while Kent and Harriet get their best moments when they help rally the ghosts against Hatbox. A pair of tour guides’ (Winona Rider and Dan Levy) exposition about Hatbox’s human identity is even scarier than Hatbox himself. Meanwhile, JR Adduci doesn't get to do much as William Gracey, the ghost of the mansion's previous owner, which is unfortunate as his backstory is involving.

Haunted Mansion is a peculiar film. The visual effects are outstanding to the point they deserve an Oscar-nomination. But they're often prioritized over the film's human cast. The protagonists are often overshadowed by their colorful supporting players. It's still entertaining, though, and it runs at a quick-paced 122 minutes. It maybe off-season, but it's still a good diversion from the obnoxious heat. See it soon, for there's no telling if it will actually be on Disney Plus this Halloween. For all we know, it could be ... December!

Nimona

The only thing depressing about Nimona is that it almost never existed. It started development under Blue Sky Studios in 2015, shortly after ND Stevenson's eponymous graphic novel was published. But its years of development were nullified when Disney killed the studio in 2021. Annapurna resurrected the project as a Netflix release. And now, it’s here.

And you’re going to hear about it.

In an unnamed kingdom, knights in shining Armor exist with laser blasters and flying cars. These Knights are trained by a massive Institute. Here, we find Ballister Boldheart (Riz Ahmed) about to be knighted alongside his boyfriend, Ambrosius Goldenloin (Eugene Lee Yang). Nearly everyone except Ambrosius and Queen Valerin (Lorraine Toussaint) looks down upon Ballister for him being a commoner. That gets worse when Ballister’s sword laser blasts the Queen point-blank. Ballister is literally disarmed in the mayhem, and he goes on the run.

Ballister hides away with his new robot arm until the shapeshifter Nimona (Chloe Grace Moretz) storms into his life. Nimona senses a kindred spirit in Ballister and offers to help him clear his name. He only accepts her help when his solo-quest ends in jail. But he’s still unnerved by her impishness and her shapeshifting. Meanwhile, Nimona hides a painful past with Gloreth, the legendary heroine who founded the Kingdom. The Institute's Director (Frances Conroy) drives them apart with fear and distrust. It all leads to a gigantic scene.

The film and its title character are animated forces of nature. The film’s wild sense of humor is embodied by Nimona herself. Her and Ballister’s prison break is a wonderfully manic exercise in slapstick. That scene is loaded with great shapeshifting gags. Her firecracker personality is infectious the second she shows up on-screen. Her and Ballister’s bickering is entertaining until it's not. A few scenes have Ballister basically tell her to pick a form and stick with it. It's a lot less funny once we see Nimona's backstory. You'll fully understand her lifetime of ostracization once she transforms into the living embodiment of depression. That makes their reconciliation all the sweeter.

Ballister isn’t fully upstaged by Nimona. He’s an earnest knight with an endearing relationship with Ambrosius. So, we’re fully on his side when Ambrosius (reluctantly) leads the manhunt against him. It’s quite fun to see him loosen up under Nimona’s influence. We definitely feel it when they fall out and ultimately reconcile. I won't spoil how the latter happens, but it's quite moving.

Now for the other characters. Ambrosius is just as likable as Ballister and not even him disarming Ballister changes that. In fact, it's quite effective when he realizes he's in the wrong. Fellow Knight Todd (Beck Bennett) maybe a bully but he's an amusing bully. The same can't be said about the Director, who turns fully loathsome at the midway point. Still, how she rebounds from being outed as the villain is so simple it's clever. Diego the Squire (Julio Torres), the Director's unknowing accomplice, is the victim of an entertaining interrogation from Nimona. We get some good cameos from Indya Moore and RuPaul as news anchors and Stevenson himself as a cartoon mascot.

Everything about its cel-shaded visuals, from its production design to its characters, is appealing. Its anachronistic aesthetics leads to some fun results. Nimona’s usual range of forms are cuddly, while her depression form is truly nightmarish. It’s all set to an amazing score from Christophe Beck; Nimona’s main theme, in particular, is alluring. The modern song choices perfectly punctuate its most frenetic action.

I just have one problem with Nimona being on Netflix. It's that I won't be able to witness a live crowd's reactions. Nimona is both a wild good time and a profound story of acceptance. It's got me interested in reading the original graphic novel. Maybe you'll have the same reaction once you Netflix and chill with it. Now, if you excuse me, I need to prepare for the last review of the month.

Shin Kamen Rider

I would have loved to have seen Shin Kamen Rider on the big screen. But just like with Shin Ultraman, its theatrical release was just two nights. Fortunately, it’s ready to stream on Amazon Prime, albeit as Shin Masked Rider. Either way, it’s free, so let’s go talk about it.

Hideaki Anno once again revitalizes another Japanese pop-culture icon. But unlike with Shin Ultraman, and the earlier Shin Godzilla, he goes it alone without his frequent collaborator, Shinji Higuchi. As a rundown, Kamen Rider was created in 1971 by manga artist Shotaro Ishinomori, who, among other works, also started the Super Sentai franchise, the eventual source of Power Rangers, with Himitsu Sentai Gorenger. There have been multiple variations of Ishinomori’s concept throughout the years. But the original one has persisted with them.

The film opens up with Takeshi Hongo (Sosuke Ikematsu) and Ruriko Midorikawa (Minami Hanabe) on the run from the evil Shocker organization. Takeshi was to be their latest cyborg mutant warrior, the Grasshopper-Aug, but Ruriko set him free. He’s quite unnerved by his new inhuman power; he can smash Shockers’ goons’ faces in with a single punch. But after a pep talk from Ruriko’s father, Professor Hiroshi (Shinya Tsukamoto), Takeshi reinvents himself as Kamen Rider and saves Ruriko from the evil Spider-Aug (Nao Omori) and his goons. 

Takeshi and Ruriko are recruited by Agents Taki and Tachibana (Takumi Saitoh and Yutaka Takenouchi) to help them defeat Shocker. Takeshi struggles to do the right thing without killing anybody else. But that’s complicated when Ichiro (Mirai Moriyama), Ruriko’s brother and the leader of Shocker, steps up to bat. His master plan is to assimilate all of humanity’s lifeforce (aka Prana) into the single Habitat Realm (much like the Human Instrumentality Project that Evangelion hinged on). Fortunately, Takeshi’s fight is easier when another Shocker warrior, Hayato Ichimonji (Tasuku Emoto), joins him as Kamen Rider #2.

Anno’s episodic screenplay breezes through Shocker’s mutants. Our heroes meet a new mutant who gloats evilly, they fight, and the mutant loses, dissolving into foam upon death. One mutant, the Scorpion-Aug (Masami Nagasawa), doesn’t even meet Takeshi. These episodes are held together by Takeshi and Ruriko’s developing platonic relationship. This plot thread amplifies the third act, where Takeshi fights Ruriko’s former friend, Hiromi (Nanase Nishino), now the Wasp-Aug. Another plot thread, where Takeshi flashbacks to his policeman dad’s murder, hits the hardest at the end. 

Any problems with the story? We only get fleeting flashbacks to Takeshi’s "recruitment." They're all in the opening. Hayato barely figures into the plot until about an hour in. The Bat-Aug's (Toru Tezuka) virus scheme is nearly, almost accidentally, confusing, not helped by Amazon’s mistimed subs. A few lines are left without subtitles at all. Other than that, there's not much to gripe about.

Let’s highlight a few characters. It’s great to see Takeshi and Ruriko open up to each other. You’ll feel it after the fight with KK-Aug (Kanata Hongo), a part chameleon and mantis mutant. Hayato makes up for his late arrival with his bravado. Hiromi/Wasp-Aug’s childish personality and spectacular fashion sense leaves quite an impression. Ichiro is a decent antagonist, but K (Tori Matsuzaka), his stoic robot aide, is the most likable of the villains. K is actually an update of the titular character in Ishinomori's Robot Detective, and his design is spot-on. 

The Kamen Riders and their mutant adversaries were all impressively redesigned by Anno and a few collaborators. The mutants' lairs are as splendid as they are. The fight scenes are spectacular, especially when Takeshi and Hayato face a literal swarm of knockoffs near the end. Veteran anime composer Taku Iwasaki's rendition of the show's theme song, Let's Go! Rider Kick, perfectly punctuates that fight, as well as Takeshi's first fight as Kamen Rider. The most impressive effects are the CGI-enhanced makeup job underneath Takeshi's mask. Some effects aren't flawless, namely Bat-Aug in flight, but they're still creepy.

Whether it's Shin Kamen Rider or Shin Masked Rider, it is still a good superhero movie. Its story isn't fully elaborated, but it makes for an interesting two hours. Anyone who missed the theatrical run have a nice home matinee waiting for them. Just beware of the subtitle problem. Then again, that seems to be a problem with Prime.

Oppenheimer

A Christopher Nolan movie is highly anticipated by itself. After all, their first trailers generally debut a full year before their release. We get plenty of time anticipating Nolan's latest. But Oppenheimer's hype skyrocketed when the internet paired it with its biggest weekend rival. Both movies are well on their way to recouping their budgets. And now, I'll explain the other half of the most anticipated double feature in cinema history.

Nolan adapted American Prometheus, the biography written by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin, of J. Robert Oppenheimer. We see Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy) progress from university student to university professor right when World War II hits. Gen. Leslie Groves (Matt Damon) hires him for the Manhattan Project that would invent the first atomic bomb. He soon has grave reservations about the A-Bomb’s ethicality. This nearly leads him to be ruined as a Communist sympathizer.

All of this is depicted in full color in the film’s Fission storyline. The Fusion storyline follows Oppenheimer’s archenemy, Lewis Strauss (Robert Downey Jr.), the chairman of the AEC, in monochrome. Strauss believes Oppenheimer has it out for him. So, he set up Oppenheimer for his eventual fall. But a nasty surprise awaits him when he aims for a Cabinet post.

The non-linear storylines are generally easy to follow. We learn quite a bit of Oppenheimer’s life during its massive three-hour runtime. Murphy's compelling performance as Oppenheimer helps the runtime breeze on by. Its most significant subplot concerns his relationships with his wife, Kitty (Emily Blunt), and mistress, Jean Tatlock (Florence Pugh), both of whom have Communist ties. It's an interesting subplot, though how the Bhagavad Gita figures into it is pretty odd. Meanwhile, Downey Jr.'s Strauss plays the subtle schemer for most of the movie. His vindictiveness explodes in a climactic speech. And then we understand it all.

A bigger challenge is keeping up with the film’s massive cast. I lost track of one Haakon Chevalier (Jefferson Hall), a bit ironic considering his significance. In fact, much of the cast is filled with recognizable actors in unrecognizable roles, including Benny Safdie as Edward Teller and James Remar as Henry Stimson. Kenneth Branagh is more recognizable as Niels Bohr, but you won't recognize Gary Oldman and Tom Conti as President Truman and Albert Einstein, respectively, unless you saw their names in the credits. The makeup team is just that good. Even Murphy's Oppenheimer is that stunning a dead ringer for the real man.

The sound design is generally better than Tenet. There's only a few instances where Ludwig Goransson's stunning score overwhelms the dialogue. A few bits of dialogue are cut off by some atomic imagery. But it's generally discernible. What matters is the explosions. We see them, and after a lull, we hear them. The arrangement gives them quite the punch, especially with the Trinity Test. Hoyte van Hoytema's cinematography and the visual effects team perfectly amplify the nightmarish splendor. Equally shocking is when Oppenheimer hallucinates a crowd getting vaporized. The editing just works.

Oppenheimer is a captivating biopic. Its double storylines perfectly capture its main characters' central perspectives rather well. This can mitigate some of the film's incomplete perspectives. Both men are compelling whether as optimists, cynics or egotists. It's a good motivator to read up on their histories. See it on the biggest screens you can find. It will be a while before it comes to home media. You bet I'll get it and the published screenplay by year's end. It's certainly worthy of its hype. And more.

Barbie

You would have never guessed years ago that Barbie would among the most anticipated films in history, much less half of the most anticipated double feature in cinematic history. But that's exactly the case as Barbie and Oppenheimer make their cinematic debuts. The latter film is three hours long and I'm not made of time. So, it's off to Barbieland.

Barbieland is where all the Barbies and Kens live and party. One particular Barbie, the Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie), suddenly questions her mortality during a dance number. She tries to laugh it off until those questions interfere with her life. Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon) sends her off to the real world for her answers. Her Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling) tags along for the ride.

Their misadventures in Los Angeles draw the attention of Mattel's CEO (Will Ferrell). Barbie joins with Mattel employee Gloria (America Ferrera) and her daughter, Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt). Ken, meanwhile, discovers patriarchy and toxic masculinity, and brings them back to Barbieland. The resulting "Kendom" threatens to mess with the real world. Barbie, Gloria and Sasha have to hurry before Ken and the Kens make their Kendom permanent. That's basically it.

Greta Gerwig and her co-writer Noah Baumbach visualize a surprisingly profound story. Sure, Helen Mirren's deadpan narrations comprise some of the film’s funniest lines. But she's also insightful as she narrates Barbie's history in the opening. Who knew that "stereotypical" Barbie was quite the trendsetter? Barbie even meets her maker, Ruth Handler (Rhea Perlman), who gives her a much-needed pep talk. The patriarchy exemplified by Kendom and the Mattel board personifies their stupidity. That's some great satire, there.

Mirren's on-screen costars are clearly having fun whether they're playing humans or dolls. The Barbie and Kens are fully committed to playing their toyetic roles. That's what makes Robbie's buoyant performance as Barbie so endearing. We're on her side whether her problems are mundane (flat feet!) or serious (her existence). You'll have fun asking, "which one?" when Gosling's Ken complains about another Ken (the most significant one is played by Simu Liu). Ken's goofiness is entertaining even when he turns bad. The supporting Barbies (including Issa Rae's President Barbie and Hari Nef's Doctor Barbie) make for a fun bunch. Sasha and Gloria get their best moments with rousing speeches that exposit on the film's thesis. Even the Mattel board of directors show some hidden depths. 

The film's commitment to its doll aesthetics is commendable. The Barbieland visualized by Sarah Greenwood is an astonishing life-sized playset. Everything from the Dream Houses to the Vehicles are convincingly toyetic. That makes it delightfully surreal whenever we see Barbie driving overhead. You'll think they're actually toys come to life. Mattel's oppulent boardroom gives the real world its own splendor. Jacqueline Durran dresses the Barbies and Kens with equally appealing wardrobes. The soundtrack includes a decent score from Mark Ronson & Andrew Wyatt and some appealing songs, including the opening Pink, which has a hilarious reprise.

Overall, Barbie is a film that'll entertain kids and cynics alike. It's hard to frown when everyone on screen is having a ball. You'll even learn a thing or two during Barbie's existential crisis. Its 114 minutes will breeze by in no time. What's to hate about it? Not much. Just see it. I'll get to the other half of this "double feature" this weekend. Watch for the review.

Psycho-Pass: Providence

Once again, I'm reviewing a theatrical spin-off of another anime I never followed. This is Psycho-Pass: Providence, which is actually a prequel to the anime's third season, which aired in 2019. This will fill in whatever plot details the season opened with. Let me fill in some more with the general setting:

This is basically Minority Report: The Anime. In this crummy future, Japan is monitored by the AI Sibyl System, which rates a person's likelihood of committing crimes on the "Psycho-Pass" scale. Anyone with a "Crime Coefficient" reading of 100 is likely to meet an Agent of the Public Safety Bureau, who will likely rehabilitate, incarcerate, or - in extreme cases - kill them. The latter is usually accomplished with their special Dominator guns. A few agents still advocate for the traditional justice system, including the series protagonist, Inspector Akane Tsunemori. 

This time, Akane and her usual Agents are called to investigate the murder of Professor Milicia Stronskaya. She was researching a worldwide expansion of the Sibyl System. But her papers have gone missing, and our heroes have to find them before her killers, a militia called the Peacebreakers, get them first. The Japanese Government is more than willing to negotiate with the Peacebreakers and their fundamentalist leader, Tsugumasa Tonami. But Akane and her partner, Shinya Kogami, are more than willing to see the investigation to the end.

The film opens with text explaining the setting. It goes by a bit too quickly, but it's there. The film's discussions of futuristic law and order are quite interesting. It's especially interesting during the film's shocking swerve finale, during which the Sibyl System is spectacularly circumvented. In the meantime, we're introduced a bit too quickly to Akane's many co-workers. But I found the two mentors, Dr. Shindo and Professor Saiga, the most likable for their affability. You'll feel it when they both take their lives. Akane herself is quite likable; her relationship with Shinya gives the serious story some needed levity.

Now for the new characters. Kai, a double agent infiltrating the Peacebreakers, is the one who personally killed Prof. Stronskaya. We soon learn he had a good reason for it. It's just so compelling to see him more than a cold soldier. You can almost believe Tonami preaching of peace despite his followers' violence. He's so affable that he can circumvent the heroes' Dominators. That's a problem when he possesses his followers with their "Divider" chips. It's quite creepy when he does so. What makes him so memorable is his villainous breakdown. He throws off the cloak of affability and fully turns ax-crazy to battle Akane. That makes it grander when Akane finally takes him down. 

The film looks and sounds great thanks to Production I.G. The futuristic production design includes some massive high rises, but its most appealing scene is a holographic Lunar New Year parade. Shinya fighting Kai in a holographic prairie is unintentionally surreal. But the final shootout with the Peacebreakers is spectacular once our heroes get to use their Dominators. The Peacebreakers opening raid on Stronskaya's ship is made all the more tense with Yugo Kanno's score. The film's overall sound design is as appealing as its visuals.

Psycho-Pass: Providence makes for a good future crime thriller. It's a bit dense a starting point for anyone unfamiliar with the franchise. But it has a few legitimately surprising plot twists along the way. Certain events have made the film's themes of giving AI too much power more relevant. It's available in both subbed and dubbed formats, though my theater only has it subbed. Whichever language you see it in is fine. But see it soon if you want to before it makes its theatrical exit. As for me, I'll prepare for my next reviews. 

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

Everybody went all out last summer for Tom Cruise's return as Maverick. But will they do it again when his superspy alter-ego, Ethan Hunt, accepts his latest Mission: Impossible? His latest mission is too big for one movie to contain; thus, we have Dead Reckoning Part One.

This time, Ethan, his fellow spies Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and Luther Stickwell (Ving Rhames) are on the hunt for a key so important, the IMF won't tell them what it does. Except we already know. The key controls "The Entity," an evil AI housed in the submarine Sevastopol, which sits at the bottom of the Bering Sea after it tricked the crew into torpedoing themselves. The key splits in halves, and fellow agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) has one of them. Ethan gets Ilsa's half after he gets some bounty hunters off her trail. It's off to the races.

They try to get the other half at the Abu Dhabi Airport. But the mission turns impossible when a few factions intervene. One of them is Gabriel (Esai Morales), Ethan's old enemy and The Entity's favorite human. Agents Briggs and Degas (Shea Wigham and Greg Tarzan Davis) pursue Ethan as a rogue agent. A professional thief, Grace (Hayley Atwell), gets involved with Ethan and his team as an unofficial newbie. Not everyone's going to make it out alive.

Director Christopher McQuarrie sits firmly on the franchise's formerly rotating director's chair. He and his co-writer Erik Jendresen provide more opportunities for Ethan to show off. Its most advertised scene is Ethan driving a motorcycle off a cliff and parachuting to reach the Orient Express. It's pretty cool, but his dynamic entry on the train itself is spectacular. An earlier car chase in Rome is pretty thrilling and amusing. Ethan's infiltration of an Intelligence Community meeting and Benji's disarming of a suitcase nuke are the film's tensest moments, by far. The film runs an unusually massive 163 minutes, but you'll rarely be bored.

I think it's because of the cast. Ethan and his team once again form a great ensemble of agents. They and the new characters get plenty of time to shine. Of the new characters, Grace and Gabriel's henchwoman Paris (Pom Klementieff) get the most meaningful character arcs. Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny) returns from the first film, now higher up in the Intel community, and his worthy opponent relationship with Ethan is quite interesting. Agent Briggs and Degas's compelling subplot gets its best moment when they help Ethan evacuate the Orient Express. Director Denlinger is a perfectly smug villain, but you may not recognize his actor unless you look at the credits: Cary Elwes. 

This may be a part one, but its story isn't lacking. Ethan and Gabriel's rivalry concerns a woman named Marie, who's only seen in flashbacks. We don't know who she was to them. But we're intrigued enough to stick around for Part Two to find out. It's also a rare part one where the good guys win. You'll just have to wait to see how the villains catch up. Part Two is supposed to come out next year, but who knows with the Double Hollywood Strike going on (Go SAG and WGA).

This part is still a great spy thriller. Its runtime is barely noticeable thanks to its characters and set pieces. A good time is guaranteed for many if you choose to accept Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, as your next movie mission. Now, if you excuse me, it's time for the next review.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken

 Did you know that Dreamworks had a new movie last week? Apparently not with its box-office figures. The good news is that Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken only cost $70 million, so its current $18.8 million gross isn't as catastrophic as its pricier competitors.

Ruby Gillman (Lana Condor) tries to live among the land dwellers in the town of Oceanside. She and her family pass off their Kraken-ness by claiming to be Canadian (it works). Her mother Agatha (Toni Collette) forbids Ruby from going into the ocean. Unfortunately, that means she can't go to prom either, since it's on a yacht. She's forced to dive in to save her crush Connor (Jaboukie Young-White) from drowning. Although the new girl, Chelsea (Annie Murphy), takes credit for the rescue, Ruby has bigger things to worry about.

Ruby and her fellow Krakens maybe humanoid on land, but they revert to full sea monster size in the ocean. Ruby, in particular, is the granddaughter of the sea queen (Jane Fonda). Grandmamah, as she insists on being called, helps Ruby hone her Kraken powers. Ruby later bonds with Chelsea after the latter reveals herself a mermaid. But mermaids are actually the evilest of sea creatures, according to Grandmamah. And, as the ads show, Chelsea is no exception. A giant sea battle is imminent.

It's not a complex film, but it's decently entertaining. The Gillmans' "we're from Canada excuse" is surprisingly plausible because the rest of Oceanside blindly believes it. That makes it funnier. Ruby's "panic attack" when she's named royalty was "trailer fodder," but it's a bit funnier in context. Her training with Grandmamah gives us an amusing montage. She puts her skills to great use to defeat Chelsea. I'm kind of mixed on Chelsea's true nature. Her being evil could have been better if it wasn't advertised that much. Her true identity is a bit better of a surprise. But it's quite reminiscent of the plot twist for 2005's Sky High. Anyone remember that? Anyway, her final form's raging water hair is impressive.

It helps that Ruby is a likable protagonist. Her peppy personality is infectious, and we really feel for her at her lowest. She and her supporting Krakens have such cuddly designs whether as humanoids or sea monsters. Grandmamah is entertaining, while Chelsea is surprisingly believable when she acts the nice girl. Human antagonist Captain Gordon Lighthouse (Will Forte) is actually an entertaining braggart. Ruby's human friends - Margot (Liza Koshy), Trevin (Eduardo Franco), and Bliss (Ramona Young) - are a delightfully quirky bunch. The same goes for the other Gillmans, especially their pet Nessie and Ruby's Uncle Brill (Sam Richardson). 

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken is sure to entertain the youngest filmgoers the most. The biggest surprise for older filmgoers is how short it is - 91 minutes. It's sure to amaze both sets with its impressive visuals and Stephanie Economou's alluring score. All in all, it's a decent family matinee. But see it soon if you want to see it on the big screen. It might not last longer with that box office.