About Me

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This is the blog where I talk about the latest movies I've seen. These are my two Schnauzers, Rufus (left) and Marley (right, RIP). As of now, the Double Hollywood Strikes are officially over. May the next strikes not last as long as these ones did.

Sunday, September 27, 2026

Resident Evil

 As I said before, I didn't watch any of the Resident Evil movies besides the third one, Resident Evil: Extinction. I guess it just wasn't for me. That was, until Zach Cregger followed up Weapons with the franchise's eighth film. Let's see how he does it.

Bryan (Austin Abrams) is a medical courier who, just after one job, is immediately given another. He just needs to drop off a package at an Umbrella Corporation lab in Raccoon City. It pays double, which is especially convenient since he's about to become a dad. He just needs to drive in the dead of winter and avoid any trouble ...

He soon realizes that there are monsters in these parts, such as an elderly farm couple (Andrea Miltnerová & Karel Dobrý) and their malinois. These ostensible zombies don't die when you shoot them in the head; they like to merge into tentacled things instead. Bryan is forced to go to Raccoon City on foot, where he hopes to end the night alive and human. It's not going to end well.

Just five years after Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City poorly melded the first two games’ stories together, Cregger & co-writer Shay Haten take the side-story approach for this reboot. There are no familiar character names, just a few aesthetic choices. During its 94-minutes, there’s a monster in every corner, Bryan never has allies for long, and he makes some easily preventable mistakes (and it’s a miracle that he survives a few). The tension never ceases as Bryan gets into one mishap after another, until its bleak & abrupt ending. Its approach has been compared to Mad Max: Fury Road for a good reason.

It wouldn’t work if Bryan wasn’t likable, which he is. Abrams plays him as well-meaning idiot whose biggest sin is “open mouth, insert foot.” I won’t deny that he’s insensitive to his now-pregnant girlfriend, Michelle (Sara Paxton, who’s only heard on his phone), but him helping the (unknown to him) zombie woman shows potential. His mistakes, such as shooting his own car, are believable cases of bad luck, rather than obstinate stupidity. I probably can’t say much about the ending, but Abrams delivers some of his best acting when Bryan realizes his situation is beyond hopeless.

Who else do we have here? Johnno Wilson, as a Sheriff who shares his last name, is reasonably strict with Bryan, who inadvertently dooms him by making him take the zombie woman. A poignant scene has Bryan encounter an infected girl (Isla McRae), who plays a major part in the bleak ending. Paul Walter Hauser & Kali Reis show up as Paul & Maxine, two Umbrella personnel who take Bryan into Raccoon City. He’s funny, while she’s super-cool, so of course they don’t last very long. And finally, we have the Umbrella Scientists, led by Zach Cherry’s Carl, where Bryan’s quest ends. They seem like a fun bunch, but their own intolerable stupidity pops up once things go horribly wrong.

One of the film's greatest decisions was to hire cinematographer Dariusz Wolski. His visual choices elevate some of its most horrific scenes into works of art. There's Bryan's snowy drive, which is only illuminated by his headlights, and is downright ominous when his taillights come on. There's also a random fat zombie that Bryan meets in the sewers, illuminated in moonlight. And then, we have a maternity ward illuminated in blood red for horrific reasons. If the Academy was willing and able, then Wolski could easily have his second Oscar-nomination here. He's accompanied by some excellent work from production designer Tom Hammock, editor Joe Murphy and composers Hays & Ryan Holladay, all of whom worked on Weapons.

Now, what can we expect from the monsters? You can expect zombies visualized with impressive makeup work, along with a few mutants with seamless CGI augmentations. The monstrous reveals provide a few great jump scares. You can also expect some imaginative monster designs, especially the aforementioned tentacled thing, The Pile. It was visualized with some impressive motion capture work, which involved harnessing a group of acrobats together. The Fat Zombie, meanwhile, is an equally heavy and realistic puppet. Its best boss battles, more or less, come from the divebombing zombies and the acidic Puker, the latter of whom impedes Bryan's elevator ride. 

Although Resident Evil isn't obviously based on the games, its narrative of unfortunate events is suitable for one. As Bryan gets to work, one can sense what it must be like to play these games without a guide. They can also get a few good laughs as Bryan's genre-savviness gets thwarted by reality (driving through locked fences doesn't work!). Once the ending hits, they can wonder about what game favorites like Leon Kennedy and Jill Valentine would expect. Video Games have been tricky to adapt into movies, but Resident Evil might hold some clues in its narrative DNA. You'll just have to find them for yourself.

Expect my next review to have at least a few more STARS!

Tuesday, September 22, 2026

Shaun the Sheep: The Beast of Mossy Bottom

 Who’s ready to get sheepish again?

Shaun the Sheep has another movie, which might mean another Oscar-nomination for Aardman given both his and his parent franchise, Wallace and Gromit’s, track-record. Let’s see what happens when he meets The Beast of Mossy Bottom.

This time, it’s almost Halloween, and Shaun and his flock are growing pumpkins. When their Farmer accidentally destroys their patch, Shaun upsizes a new one with some Home-Made Science he learned from a convenient book. Meanwhile, the Farmer wants to ask the local Vet out to the upcoming Halloween Hoedown. But first, he decides to do something with his thinning hairline. Unfortunately, he ends up taking Shaun’s growth formula by mistake.

Said growth formula won’t stop working, as the flock finds out. Meanwhile, it turns the Farmer into the titular “Beast.” The Vet mistakes him for Bigfoot, and she decides to “send him home” to Bigfoot Island. The townspeople want to kill him because they have nothing else better to do. Bitzer the dog thinks that the “beast” ate his master. Shaun and the flock set out to fix everything before somebody gets really hurt. That’s the whole movie!

At 81-miunutes, there’s not a whole lot of fluff. I went in thinking that the "Beast’s" identity would be a major twist. But the film drops that pretense once it establishes Shaun’s formula and the Farmer’s hairline. Compare that to Curse of the Were-Rabbit, which is six minutes longer, where it takes a while to figure out that monster’s secret. It’s disappointing to anyone looking for a deep mystery. But it won’t disappoint anyone looking for silliness in the slightest. Amongst its gags, we have an original twist on a Psycho shower parody that I won't spoil. It's all capped off by a few great set-pieces, one of which involves a giant pumpkin.

Once again, its plot is communicated with grunts and grumbles. But this time, I’ll introduce the most relevant actors - Justin Fletcher vocalizes Shaun and his cousin, Timmy; John Sparkes doubles-up the Farmer and Bitzer; and Nina Sosanya is the Vet. The whole cast, even the mean townsfolks, is an entertaining lot. Shaun's Mad Scientist act is a whole lot of fun. The Farmer and the Vet’s relationship is especially charming. While Bitzer is so entertainingly wrong about the "Beast," you can't help but feel for him just the same. In short, everyone's lively personalities prove that Aardman's animation excellence is alive and well.

Its family-friendly thrills are paired nicely with Natalie Holt's score. A particular highlight, for me, is the "Beast's" theme, whose imposing music is paired with sparse, and bombastic, lyrics. Its visual effects, not just the animation, are quite spectacular. Overall, there's a whole lot to see and not a lot of time to do so in The Beast of Mossy Bottom, and not just because it's so short. Hurry up and do so before it gets crowded-out; there's no guarantee it will stream on time for Halloween! I've said enough.

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Practical Magic 2

 Oh yeah, Practical Magic! Isn’t it that one movie where Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock were witches?

Yeah, Baxter, that’s the one.

That’s a movie that happened!

It sure was. And like the best of them, it found its biggest audience on home video. Eventually, Alice Hoffman supplemented the world she started with her original novel with two prequels and a sequel, The Book of Magic. It’s from that sequel that we now have Practical Magic 2. 

Can you give me a primer?

Okay, so we have the Owens's - sisters Sally & Gillian (Bullock & Kidman), their aunts Jet & Franny (Dianne Wiest & Stockard Channing), and Sally’s daughters Kylie & Antonia (Joey King & Maisie Williams, tagging in for Evan Rachel Wood & Alexandra Artrip). Their witch ancestor, Maria, cursed her lineage with untimely deaths for any man they fell in love with. That includes Sally’s two husbands, the second of whom was Aidan Quinn’s Gary from the first film. After that tragedy, Sally magics away her daughters’ memories of magic, so they can live normally.

Years later, Jet passes away on her own birthday. Kylie brings along her boyfriend, Gideon (Xolo Maridueña), to the wake (uh oh). The curse eventually strikes Gideon and leaves him comatose. A heartbroken Kylie flies off to London with some magical tomes, which tell her how to reverse the curse. But since they’re evil tomes, Sally & Gillian fly off after her before things get messier. That’s kind of it.

There’s also some business with Tom Bailey (Solly McLeod), a handsome guy Kylie meets along the way. He’s the film’s secret, and practically unnecessary, big bad. His backstory’s disconnected from the family curse, even if it’s actually tied to the family. Yeah, he’s taking advantage of a bad situation, but that’s two plotlines rushing through the same small door. He’s so nothing that Gillian & Sally carry on a conversation in the middle of his villain monologue! He did have a neat final battle, so there’s that.

I haven’t seen the first film, but I imagine that part of the reason for its enduring popularity is its lively cast. If that’s what you love about it, then you’ll be happy to know that it hasn’t changed. It’s fun to watch all three Owens generations hang out with each other and amongst themselves. Jet, in particular, is such a lively character that her early death is the film’s biggest disappointment. Franny mostly spends time with Antonia, Gideon’s nurse, while the others have their plot; they’re fine together. Gillian & Sally and Kylie & Antonia’s sisterhoods, with their silliness and bonding, are especially appealing. Kylie, by herself, has the most compelling plotline, with the second going to her mother’s (even with some forced drama).

And who do we have to thank for this drama? We have returning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, this time with Georgia Pritchett & Kelly Marcel, along with new director Susanne Bier (In A Better World, Denmark’s Foreign Language Oscar winner for 2010). That’s who.

What else do we have? The only significant character I haven’t mentioned yet is Dr. Ian Wright (Lee Pace), a magic professor who teams up with Gillian & Sally (who falls for him). They’re fun together, and he’s fun by himself. And while Jet died too early, it’s still nice to see the town come together to support the Owens afterwards (they were pariahs in the first film). Said town, which was called Maria’s Island in the first film, makes use of some nice location filming around England (tagging in for Coupeville). The Owens Estate, both interior and exterior wise, is the most appealing locale. The various displays of magic utilize some neat visual & sound effects. And finally, the soundtrack makes good use of both easy-listening songs and Rupert Gregson-Williams’ magical score.

You know, I hope that there isn't a Practical Magic 3. It's not because I hate Practical Magic 2, but because I think the Owens - both present and future generations - deserve a happy ending. If there is one, it shouldn't have the curse pull a fast one on them right at the start. As for this installment, you needn't worry if you haven't watched the first film; its exposition is that airtight. It's a bit overlong at 130-minutes, and has a few chronological & logical issues, but its cast makes it easy to forget these flaws. There's no harm in watching it, so go for it. 

Monday, September 14, 2026

The Uprising

 Paul Greengrass’s historical drama, The Uprising, doesn’t waste any time getting started. 

I won’t either.

It’s 1381. The Black Death is still in living memory, and the Hundred-Year’s War is still going on. The young King Richard II (Woody Norman) and his councilors need more money. So, they decide to tax the already strained peasants even more. It’s either that, or tax the merchants, and everyone knows they want representation (that’s basically their justification!).

A humble Ploughman (Andrew Garfield), who lost his family in the plague, starts a riot, which leads to the historical Peasants’ Revolt. Ploughman marches with the peasants to London, where they hope they can petition the King to be nicer to them. Needless to say, their faith in him is mostly misplaced. That’s pretty much it.

“I am what I do,” Ploughman says. And he doesn’t do much. He spends time with Richard and his mother, Joan of Kent (Katherine Waterston), so there’s something. But he mostly just goes with the crowd and only steps out to be their spokesman or fight. He’s barely able to do anything when the crowd gets out of hand midway through. We barely get to know him during the film’s arduous 127-minutes; there isn’t even a flashback to his family, whom he says haunts him. The best I can say about him is that he’s just fine.

It gets silly when it turns out that Mr. Plow is actually Robin Hood, or whoever inspired the legend (the poem Piers Plowman, the earliest surviving mention of Mr. Hood, was written during this time). It comes out of nowhere in the epilogue, and it just ends after an awkward last shot. It’s a waste of the film’s most vibrant costumes, specifically those for the pseudo-Merry Men. This was briefly subtitled as “The Rise of Robin Hood,” but a more appropriate moniker is “Surprise! Here’s Robin Hood!”

There’s barely a discernible face in the crowd, other than the revolt’s historical leaders Wat Tyler (Cosmo Jarvis) and John Ball (Jamie Bell), and even then I had a hard time remembering who was who. It’s kind of hard to care about them when the King double-crosses them and nearly slaughters them to the man. Alyce (Thomasin McKenzie), a former nun, is probably the most compelling face. While the King’s pivot to full evil is jarring, there’s no denying that Norman goes all out in the role. His evil council, meanwhile, is just there. But the best role in the film belongs to Sky Yang, as the King’s kind-hearted scribe.

So, did anything else work in this film? The cinematography by Pål Ulvik Rokseth can’t sit still to save its life, but it is appropriately bleak. More impressively, though, are its massive crowd shots; it’s hard to tell if any of those extras are digital. The editing by William Goldenberg sells us on the nightmarishness of the London riots. Unfortunately, it doesn’t dwell on any of its unintended victims, of which there are likely many. So, there goes the sympathy. But at least Volker Bertelmann’s intense score sets the mood quite effectively.

I know I complained a bit about Greengrass's The Lost Bus for its slow first act, but its unrelenting thrills more than made up for that. The Uprising, meanwhile, rushes through its history, and it also takes a while to get there. Strangely, its admirable story and resonant themes kept my attention more often than not. It just needed a much better execution for them. You can check it out if you want. Maybe you'll have a better time in its narrative Sherwood Forest.

I've said enough.

Thursday, September 10, 2026

By Any Means

 Do you want me to review this fall’s first Oscar-bait drama?

Yes, By Any Means necessary …

Ha, you said the title! I’ll do it, but don’t hate me afterwards …

Okay …

It’s 1966, and Vernon Dahmer (Giancarlo Esposito), the Forest County Chapter President of the NAACP, is helping Black Americans register to vote. The Klan doesn’t take kindly to his efforts and firebombs his house one night. Dahmer gets his family out, but he doesn’t make it. Wayne Strider (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), an FBI agent and old friend of Dahmer’s, gets on the case.

His superiors, Special Agents Moore & Rhodes (David Strathairn & Josh Lucas), partner him with their special informant, Gregory Scarpa (Mark Wahlberg). Scarpa, a mafia Capo, was introduced in the prologue beating a confession out of a suspect in the 1964 murders of Chaney, Goodman & Schwerner. The FBI wants Strider to let Scarpa do his thing to solve this murder, too. Naturally, the two “partners” disagree on how to do things down south. But they’ll pull it off in the end, right?

For this cinematic assignment, director Elegance Bratton is paired with a screenplay by Sascha Penn. It’s not a subtle screenplay, considering its odious villains and brutal violence. Yeah, I know, how would anyone make the Klan and their sympathizers sympathetic? But Scarpa’s methods on most of their witnesses lose their luster after a while. For most of the movie, he keeps espousing to Strider about how good violence is. I’m not sure if it’s cathartic or horrific when Strider executes a bad guy near the end.

Let’s talk more about Scarpa. He doesn’t take it well when he’s assigned to the case, but why? He most certainly isn’t ashamed of the violence he’s done. Does he not want to leave his family? Maybe, but he has a mistress when Strider meets him. Maybe he just doesn’t like working for the feds? It doesn’t do a good job delving into his background, including how he took to Malcolm X’s teachings (which provide the film its title). He and Strider have decent chemistry, but Scarpa shooting a barking dog threatens to disintegrate the audience’s goodwill towards him. Yes, I know that the real-life Scarpa wasn’t a nice man, by any means, but the film Scarpa is a little flat.

Meanwhile, Strider is much more tangible a character. He tells Scarpa about the time he successfully retaliated against a racist cop, which is more backstory than what Scarpa gives. Other than that, he’s got good chemistry with his wife, Allison (Nicole Beharie), and struggles not to give into violence. It takes the murder of a witness, Rebecca Brewer (LisaGay Hamilton), to push him that far. But I’ve been thinking; Strider is a fictional composite character of several actual FBI agents, and he has more depth than a character based on a real-life man. Shouldn’t they both be equal?

What about the supporting cast? LaChanze is likable as Dahmer’s widow, Hattie. Esposito makes the most of his limited screentime as Dahmer, especially during his last stand. Dahmer’s assassins, led by Sam Bowers (Ethan Embry), are evil as they can be, but I didn’t find them the worst around. That title belongs to the racist cops who refuse to accept Strider’s FBI credentials (one of whom is shot dead by Scarpa). Strathairn, as usual, makes for a good moral authority figure. Lucas, meanwhile, is just there.

Mississippi Burning, which dealt with the 1964 murders, won an Oscar for cinematographer Peter Biziou. Ante Cheng’s intense orange hued imagery for this film ought to get him shortlisted, at least. It’s warm, but not inviting, especially when it’s used with Scarpa’s tortures. The attack on the Dahmers is perfectly harrowing, though the decision to briefly pivot to first-person POV as if it was Doom is a bizarre one. Wahlberg is kind of unrecognizable as Scarpa, thanks to a rather interesting makeup job. Terence Blanchard’s appropriately moody score ought to get it on the Oscar-shortlist in a few months.

I’ll bet that it already has an Oscar-nomination in the bag: its title song sung by David Kushner & The Isley Brothers was written by Diane Warren. I don’t see it breaking her losing streak; it’s good, but not great. Still, I’d be open to her winning at least once, whenever …

Anyway, should you watch By Any Means? Yeah, if you want to, particularly if you’re looking to check an item off the upcoming Oscar checklist. It's an odd movie, to say the least, but it's not a boring one. It's all for violence, but the torture scenes never outstay whatever welcome they had (unlike some other movies). It's probably worth comparing to Mississippi Burning, whose fictional Agent Monk (Badja Djola) was loosely inspired by Scarpa. You've got plenty of time before the Oscars, so you can watch it whenever.

I think I've said enough.

Saturday, September 5, 2026

Coyote vs. Acme

 At long last, a cinematic masterpiece shelved forever is shelved no more…

The Day the Clown Cried?

I mean, another cinematic masterpiece shelved forever …

The Director’s Cut of The Magnificent Ambersons?

No, not that one, a modern cinematic masterpiece…

Empires of the Deep! I wonder who got that guy to pay up …

No, no, not those cinematic masterpieces, a more modern cinematic…

Batgirl! I knew there was a hero at Warner Bros. …

Actually, you’re on the right track, it’s not that but Coyote vs. Acme.

Oh…

And now, the review:

After so many attempts to bag that Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote has had enough. He decides to take the ACME Corporation, the manufacturers of his faulty gadgets, to court. Representing him are Kevin Avery (Will Forte), an Albuquerque lawyer, and his niece/intern, Paige (Lana Condor). Opposing them are ACME CEO Foghorn Leghorn (Eric Bauza, along with most of the Tunes) and his fixer, Buddy Crane (John Cena). It’s a tall order for Kevin and his firm, who have only tried and won small cases. 

As trial day approaches, Kevin and Wile E. try to get the Road Runner on the stand. They also become privy to something called “Project Sisyphus,” which ruffles Foghorn’s feathers. In fact, Foghorn’s so ruffled that he sends a mercenary (the identity is a surprise) after our heroes. It all comes to ahead when the case gets the attention of the Senate. That’s pretty much it.

Another Part of the Review

While the Looney Tunes, as a brand, hardly needs any introduction except - perhaps - to their under-appreciative corporate overlords, Samy Burch’s screenplay directly adapts Ian Frazier’s 1990 New Yorker article Coyote V Acme. That took the form of a transcript of said trial’s opening statement, whose main points are covered here. What does that mean on-screen?

As visualized by director David Green, the screenplay has fun placing its cartoon characters in a courtroom drama/legal thriller. It doesn’t bother to hide that Kevin’s mysterious informant is Bugs Bunny; “That’s All Folks!” is used as a threat; and Dr. Peter Lorre (as in, the Tune version of the actor) is a whistle-blower. Kevin is used to settling “cartoon accidents” much like real-world car accidents, even if he settles for peanuts. Luis Guzman, as the trial judge, tells the court he’s not here for silliness, while he wields a cartoon gavel. Overall, its seriousness is its best joke, and its greatest asset.

What do I mean by that? Well, remember when I said the film covers the articles main points? Those come with Wile E.’s psychological examination. It has a clear answer for why he’d keep using ACME’s products despite their incompetence (to wit, what choice does he have?). He doesn’t speak, but you’ll understand how badly he has it. Its most moving moment comes when Road Runner actually takes the stand and admits that Wile E. is still a friend. Though, that raises a lot of questions about Road Runner that it doesn’t want to answer (“Maybe he likes the chase?” for one).

Forte and Condor are pretty likable as the Averys, while Tone Bell & Martha Kelly are fine as their legal partners, Sal Maltese & Dottie Jones (yes, those last names are allusions to past creatives). Cena’s exuberant performance as Buddy Crane lends further proof to wrestlers making for great comedic actors. But seriously, he may be a bad guy, but he still shows some bits of decency. This iteration of Foghorn Leghorn is his most insidious one, which he best displays when he divulges Project Sisyphus. His disregard for his consumers really sells it. He’s not quite as villainous as Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but he’s still a mean bird. 

What Do We Have Here?

The cartoon characters, animated by DNEG, are all CGI cel-shaded characters. They look like classic Tunes, feel like classic Tunes, but their frame rate is smooth. It’s an odd disconnect, but maybe it’s just me. That aside, the animation and integration work is done rather well. You’ll never doubt that the Tunes and humans belong together. The action pieces, which include Dr. Lorre’s attempted escape and Wile E.’s latest chase, are phenomenal. They’re paired nicely with Steven Price’s score, whose best work is actually his rendition of the 1812 Overture. You’ll need to see it to believe it.

Was it Worth It?

I say, I say, it certainly was worth it. While Who Framed Roger Rabbit is still the gold-standard of animated hybrid-movies, Coyote vs Acme's sincerity helps it come close. It's a funny movie, but you'll still sympathize with the Looney Tunes' perennial loser. Its most admirable trait is that it exists at all. It's worth seeing once, not just in theaters, but on all aspects of home media. What else can I say but ....

That's All Folks!