It Was Just an Accident

Jafar Panahi is one of Iran’s most controversial filmmakers. So much so that the government banned him from working for twenty-years, so he had to make his latest film, It Was Just an Accident, in secret. Thus, it represents France, where he finished the film, for this year's International Feature Oscar race. It's been available to rent-on-demand for a while, and I only now just got to it. Here we go.

Late one night, an Iranian family drives in the desert. It's so dark that we can't see the daughter, Niloufar (Delmaz Najafi), in the backseat until she lights up her tablet. It's so tightly shot by cinematographer Amin Jafari that we only see them for several minutes. Neither we nor the father (Ebrahim Azizi) can't see the loose dog running around until it's too late. His wife (Afssaneh Najmabadi) assures him that "It was just an accident. God surely put it in our path for a reason."

Maybe that reason was to put him into somebody else's path.

He drives up to an auto garage, where we meet our actual protagonist, Vahid (Vahid Mobasseri). Years ago, Vahid was tortured in prison by Egbal, an intelligence agent with a prosthetic leg that squeaked with each step. It just so happens that the father also has a prosthetic leg that squeaks with each step. Vahid is now certain that this is his former tormentor. 

So, the next day, he nabs "Egbal" and prepares to bury him in the desert. But when he starts to doubt that it is Egbal, Vahid drives around to grab some friends who were also tortured by him. There's Shiva (Mariam Afshari), a wedding photographer; her clients, Goli & Ali (Hadis Pakabaten & Majid Panahi - Jafar's nephew); and the hot-blooded Hamid (Mohammad Ali Elyasmehr). Perhaps one of them can verify the man's identity - maybe without killing him first. That's basically it.

Panahi and his Oscar-nominated writing collaborators - Nader Saïvar, Shadmehr Rastin, and Mehdi Mahmoudian - manage to keep things going fairly well. Several times over, the crew either IDs "Egbal" or almost end him on the spot, only for their doubts to keep the film going. Along the way, they run into corrupt cops, car trouble, a potty emergency and even help "Egbal's" family when his wife goes into labor. This farcical plot gets interestingly philosophical as they debate the morality of killing their captive. I mean, if he is Egbal, would they be better than him if they killed him? Although he confesses, I was almost left with the impression he falsely did so out of pressure. 

Vahid and his crew are an interesting bunch. As much as Vahid wants to kill "Egbal," he's also willing to lord his moral superiority over his captor-now-captive. That he took the time to help "Egbal's" family shows that he's still pretty altruistic. You'll especially feel for him when he recounts what Egbal did to him. Overall, he's a pretty good superego to Shiva's ego and Hamid's Id. Goli & Ali are fine, even if they're mostly there, while the captor-now-captive is surprisingly likable. Sure, he relishes his depravity near the end, but he's mostly presents himself a good family man. He's downright sympathetic once he finally breaks down. 

Now, for the technicals. Ashfari alternates between shooting things way up close or shooting things way wide. Either way, we get some pretty good clandestine scenery here. The sound design for "Egbal's" leg is outstanding, transforming the last scene into a terrifying one. Without a doubt, it's the best scene of the film. There's no score, but there's a pretty good pop song in the opening. And finally, we have editor Amir Etminan, who brings everything together quite nicely.

What can I say? It Was Just an Accident is ready for you to check out on purpose. It's a farcical morality play that's worth checking out at least once, especially if you're curious. Who knows? You might find a lot that I've left out of this review. But I think I said enough.

Mr. Nobody Against Putin

Next, on my quest to see this year’s Documentary Oscar winner, I go to the next likeliest frontrunner - Mr. Nobody Against Putin. This was Denmark’s submission for International Feature, and like The Perfect Neighbor, it’s been nominated for the BAFTA and PGA Awards. Let’s see what else it is.

In early 2022, the Russian town of Karabash, Chelyabinsk Oblast, revolved around its copper smelting plant. Pavel “Pasha” Talankin was a teacher at Karabash Primary School #1, as well as the videographer and events coordinator. When Putin’s forces invaded Ukraine that February, the Russian Government mandated a new curriculum revolving around the war. Pasha was tasked to film his school following the mandate and upload his videos to a new database. 

Pasha understandably objects to the changes for multiple reasons. He tries to resign, but when he gets in touch with director David Borenstein, he decides to stay on to film his school's descent. Of course, he'll have to leave the country in order to share this footage with the world. The film, in fact, opens in-medias-res, as he does just that.

It doesn't take long for one to get to like Pasha. That comes as early as his opening narration, in which he introduces us to Karabash, internationally known for its pollution, as well as his workplace and home life. We meet his mother, who is the school librarian, along with his parrot and dachshund (are they ok?). We get to see what makes him popular, namely his blunt, yet friendly and empathetic personality. Some of the film's most poignant moments revolve around his students, past and present. One's cheery personality drains away as her brother is sent to the frontlines; another prepares to be deployed; another one dies in the war, and we get his sound-only funeral; and many of his current students dread attending. You'll feel for Pasha as the fun gradually drains away.

So, what about the New Educational Order? Another teacher, Mr. Abdulmanov, is especially eager to extol the virtues of Putin & the Motherland. All of his favorite historical figures are Soviet leaders known for carrying out assassinations and committing human rights abuses. In another class, we get some levity as another teacher trips over the words "denazification" and "demilitarization" as she recites the state's questionable propaganda. Military-style marches become part of the day; at one-point, pretend grenade-tossing becomes part of the curriculum! Perhaps the scariest, yet most ridiculous moment, comes outside of school, as a general basically tells his men "You're all going to die, but you'll be remembered forever!" It's basically a real-life variation of Lord Farquaad's speech in Shrek!

Pasha doesn't depict anyone too critical of the war, other than himself. It's one thing to fret over your loved ones in the frontlines, but actually speaking out against Russia's Propaganda Machine can lead to life in prison. If the State Police don't get him for defacing Pro-War Posters, the draft might. Both are presented as real threats. His mom is pretty much his political opposite, but her stance is mainly a resigned "Let them fight. It's their nature." His fellow teachers note how badly their students are slipping, but that's just about it. In a fictional movie, it seems like an underdeveloped plotline, but in real-life, it's an absolute necessity. 

If you need one good reason to check this movie out, it's Pasha. Watch Mr. Nobody against Putin for this engrossing tale about an unlikely hero. Just as importantly, it's a great way to highlight how teachers help their students. It's only ninety-minutes long, so it should be a somewhat easy sit. His charismatic personality helps getting through the rough patches. And whether he wins or loses, he should be proud that he created a great first motion picture.

The Secret Agent

[Message Received]

[Help Is Here.]

[Your Review?]

My latest mission, which I’ve waited seemingly forever to accept is to review The Secret Agent, Brazil’s contender for this year’s International Feature Oscar, which is also the likeliest winner. Let’s finally get into it, shall we?

“Our story is set during the Brazil of 1977, a period of great mischief,” proclaims the title card. It’s a somewhat generous description of the country’s military dictatorship, which last year’s International Feature winner, I’m Still Here, also covered. Our “secret agent,” Marcelo (Wagner Moura), drives into Recife just in time for Carnival. He takes up residence with Dona Sebastiana’s (Tania Maria) community of "refugees" (political undesirables) and reconnects with his father-in-law, Sr. Alexandre (Carlos Francisco), and son, Fernando (Enzo Nunes). But Marcelo isn’t feeling too festive right now…

It eventually transpires that Marcelo and his late wife, Fatima (Alice Carvalho), made enemies with the corrupt Dr. Ghirotti (Luciano Chirolli). Ghirotti, a board member of Eletrobas, disappeared many of Marcelo's associates, so Marcelo needs to disappear with his life. But first, he needs records of his mother, whom he barely remembers, and the State refuses to acknowledge. He gets a cover-job at the city’s ID-card office, which might have his mother’s info on hand. He’ll have to hurry, for Ghirotti has already dispatched hitmen brothers Bobbi & Augusto Borba (Gabriel Leone & Roney Villela) to do the job.

I've seen multiple reviews call this a "slow-burn," and at 161-minutes, slow is right. Director and writer Kleber Mendonça Filho spends a lot of time letting Marcelo interact with various characters and situations, including crooked police chief Euclides (Robério Diógenes), resistance leader Elza (Maria Fernanda Cândido) and Holocaust survivor Hans (the recently deceased Udo Kier). In the meantime, we get occasional glimpses of the villains, who finally close in during the last half-hour. There's also a subplot with a human leg found inside a tiger shark, which takes a truly bizarre turn well into the movie. It might disappoint anyone expecting a tightly plotted thriller, but I think it does have its advantages.

If anything, the slow narrative helps Mendonça encapsulate Brazil as it was. In the opening scene, we see old snapshots set to a neat tune before we see Marcelo drive up to a gas station. A few cops are more interested in him than the dead looter rotting in the sun - he bribes them with cigarettes. Sr. Alexandre is a projectionist, so we get to see the impact of The Omen when it was released in Brazil. Of course, we also get to see people trying to survive under an iron fist. If we take the final twist with the leg metaphorically, rather than actually, it makes creepy sense. These are highlighted by another subplot, where a pair of modern university students research Elza and her associates. Like them, I wanted to learn more about the era.

Moura is pretty compelling as Marcelo, even if you need a few viewings to grasp his intricacies. Still, on that first viewing, I understood Marcelo to be a good man trying to survive. One of his best scenes has him try to explain to Fernando what happened to Fatima - or, at least, the "official story." His most powerful scene, however, has him show up in another role in the epilogue (I won't declassify that one). Dona Sebastiana is quite the character, and amongst her fellow tenants, we have single mom Claudia (Hermilla Guedes), Angolan Civil War survivor Thereza Vitória (Isabél Zuaa), and even a two-faced cat. Hans makes the most of his one scene, while the other villains are equally charming & detestable. Once you see this dynamic ensemble in action, you'll understand why Gabriel Domingues is now one of the inaugural nominees for the Casting Oscar.

Amongst the technicals, we have cinematographer Evgenia Alexandrova and production designer Thales Junqueira, whose work is vital for Mendonça's snapshot of the era. It really looks like a gritty film of the 70s, even if it was really just done digitally. Some obvious, yet creepy, visual effects are used for the culmination of the leg subplot. And finally, we have a surprisingly energetic score by Tomaz Alves Souza & Mateus Alves, which should have gotten a bit more notice this Oscar season, even a shortlist mention. Oh well.

Anyway, The Secret Agent is ready whenever you are. It might be a slow movie, but it's still an interesting history lesson. See it for yourself now, then see what you learn later. Trust me; I think you will learn a lot.

The Perfect Neighbor

Unlike last year, I intend to keep up with this year's Oscar-nominated documentaries. At least, the ones I can actually watch - Cutting Through Rocks isn't available near me, and I'd rather not start up Apple TV just to watch Come See Me in The Good Light.

Fortunately, I've started with perhaps the likeliest frontrunner - The Perfect Neighbor. This Netflix documentary premiered in October, and has been nominated across various guilds, BAFTA, and even Best Editing at the Critics' Choice Awards. Let's look into it, shall we?

Meet Susan Lorincz. “I’m like the perfect neighbor,” she says. “You barely ever see me.” Her neighbors in Ocala, Florida, would disagree, as she always yells at the local kids for playing in "her" lot. From 2022-23, she calls the police at least six times, and each time, the officers are more neighborly than her. She's most unneighborly to the four kids of her black neighbor, Ajike "AJ" Owens. After one such incident on June 2, 2023, AJ tries to confront Lorincz, who fatally shoots her from behind her closed door. Lorincz tries to justify it through the State's Stand-Your-Ground law, but nobody buys it.

Director Geeta Gandbhir gives us the facts mostly with bodycam and security footage. We see the police responding to Lorincz's complaints, interviewing her at the station after one such call, the aftermath of the shooting, and her being ultimately convicted. We hear from her annoyed neighbors as her behavior grows more and more erratic. We see them try to mediate between Lorincz and her neighbors, even as they grow weary of responding to her every call. I got the feeling that the only reason Lorincz wasn't arrested sooner was because the cops had no reason to think it would get this far. It seems like systematic incompetence, but the cops here are shown trying to do right. 

Throughout the narrative, you might ask yourself a lot of questions. Why didn't they intervene when her neighbors first saw her gun? What was up with the airhorn incident? Why didn't they commit to arrest her for trespassing on some guy's property, smashing his gate open with her pick-up truck - an incident she never comes close to justifying? Why didn't she get enough professional help for her behavior? It's beyond obvious how mentally unwell she is, even if that doesn't excuse her. But perhaps with a better mental healthcare system, she wouldn't have felt the need to resort to violence. I might be overthinking it, but that's the impression that I got from this documentary.

It maybe 97-minutes, but it's not an easy documentary to sit through. You'll know how bad it gets as the film opens in-medias-res on the shooting. When it resets, the tension builds as the dates grow closer and closer to the big one. We get some levity as we get to know the Owens, who fit the title better than Lorincz. It’s appropriately tragic for everyone involved, even Lorincz, once the event finally happens. When Lorincz is arrested, she refuses to go along with them for so long a struggle seems inevitable. It doesn’t happen, but the tension was so there. It's still nice seeing everyone rally around the Owens. And more levity comes from Lorincz's nephew's Captain Obvious insight - "Guns are very dangerous."

There are two things I need to mention before I end this review. One is that Gandbhir has a personal connection to the case - her sister-in-law was best friends with AJ. The other is that Gandbhir is also nominated this year for her Short Documentary The Devil is Busy, which I didn't realize until now. I’ll definitely be reviewing that along with the other Documentary Shorts, and I’m more excited than ever. In the meantime, you can check out The Perfect Neighbor if you're up to it. If not, I might recommend something more pleasant next time.

Or not...

Send Help

 So bored.

Stranded in doldrums. The Secret Agent, available for digital pre-order for weeks. No sign of release date. It's actually coming to theatre near me, but it's almost three hours, and most showings start late in the afternoon. Send Help. Send Help. Send Help...

[Help arrives and it's...]

I didn't mean the new Sam Raimi movie, but I'll take it.

[Review Contents. Spoilers Inevitable]

Okay, so we have Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams), a corporate strategist at Preston Strategic Solutions. When old man Preston, who promised to promote her to VP, kicks the bucket, his son Bradley (Dylan O'Brien) takes over. Bradley, however, promotes his frat buddy Donovan (Xavier Samuel) to VP. He's nice enough, maybe, to let her come along to Bangkok as he and the guys finalize a merger. Their private jet crashes into the Gulf of Thailand, with Linda and Bradley as the only survivors (as a Sam Raimi movie, everyone else dies messily).

The two of them wash ashore upon an island. Linda, a Survivor fan who once auditioned for the show, quickly puts her survival skills to good use. Bradley, who sprained his ankle in the crash, is anything but grateful for Linda's efforts. But Linda eventually asserts her dominance over her boss. Soon enough, the two of them come to a mutual understanding - maybe more. But eventually, we see how far she's willing to go to not lose her newfound power. Especially when civilization draws near ...

Yes, it’s thematically similar to Triangle of Sadness, and both films were in development by 2019. You can easily tell them apart, not just in style, but in length - Send Help runs a half-hour shorter than Triangle at 114-minutes. During this time, we see Linda and Bradley’s relationship evolve and devolve all over the place. Once they hit their mutual understanding, you might forget that this is supposed to be a horror film. By the end, however, their alignments reverse along with the power hierarchy. Are either of them the hero, the villain or some twisted neutral? 

It's pretty clear-cut at the start. You can easily sympathize with Linda when she's passed up for her promotion. She may be socially awkward, but she's quite capable, and Bradley just makes excuses. Her Survivor audition video, which "entertains" the guys just before the crash, is kind of lackluster, but you can't hold it against her. After the crash, Bradley still tries to boss her around, but realizes he needs her help. All that genuine chemistry, however, doesn't stop him from feeding her poison berries and leaving her to die (it doesn't work). When Linda encounters Bradley's fiancée Zuri (Edyll Ismail) on the island, what happens next will easily shift sympathies to him - especially since Zuri is actually pretty nice. And then, we get to a major plot twist.

Let's talk about that Sam Raimi style, shall we? It's very much evident at the start, when we get some uncomfortable close-ups centered around Linda's tuna-salad sandwich. Cinematographer Bill Pope also gives us more appealing shots of the main island, even when things get messy. Oh yes, the violence is extremely messy, whether it's in the plane crash or Linda hunting an extremely durable boar. It's especially messy when Bradley and Linda have their final fight, which leaves her practically looking like a Deadite from The Evil Dead. Even with the obvious CGI, the violence still feels just as grotesque. There's also an impressive sound design, with one jump scare being a particular highlight, and an energetic score by Danny Elfman. 

Without going too much into spoilers, Linda's moral realignment sends her to near supervillain levels by the climax. It's a pretty drastic change, but it's also a minor quibble. Still, the moral & power shifts make Send Help a pretty interesting horror movie. Anyone looking for something twisted, messy and silly will get their money's worth and then some. I think I said enough ...

Now, when do I see The Secret Agent?

Little Amélie or the Character of Rain

Everything seems Golden for KPop Demon Hunters at the upcoming Academy Awards, as it’s guaranteed to win both of its Oscars. It does have viable challengers, particularly at Best Animated Feature, where we find two French films, Arco and Little Amélie or the Character of Rain. I have no idea if and when I'll see Arco, but I just saw Little Amélie on the big screen just a month after it debuted on demand. Let's get to it.

Our narrator, Little Amélie (Loïse Charpentier), is born to a Belgian family in Japan. She spends her first two years in a vegetative state, which she compares to being a God. And much like a God, she’s worshipped by her parents - diplomat Patrick (Marc Anaud) and pianist Danièle (Laetitia Coryn). On her second birthday in August 1969, an earthquake happens, and she suddenly gains consciousness. But she’s practically feral until her grandma, Claude (Cathy Cerdà), gives her a taste of white chocolate; after which she’s an eager learner and a good speaker (Emmylou Homs voices her on-screen dialogue).

Grandma Claude arrives with Nishio-san (Victoria Grosbois), a housekeeper hired by the family’s landlady, Kashima-san (Yumi Fujimori). While Grandma Claude eventually leaves, Nishio stays around and eventually bonds with Little Amélie. Through Nishio, Little Amélie learns quite a bit about Japanese culture, especially the kanji for “rain,” which is pronounced “Ame” like her nickname. But Kashima, who lost so much during World War II, detests them bonding. Amélie learns a lot about the world by the time she turns three.

In French, the source novel by Amélie Nothomb actually translates to The Metaphysics of Tubes rather than The Character of Rain. This comes from a longwinded metaphor at the start of Little Amélie’s narration. There’s nothing longwinded, however, with this film, as despite its dense thematic material, it’s just 78-minutes long. During which, you'll grow attached to Amélie, her family, her childhood sense of wonder, and especially her friendship with Nishio. It's hard to hate anyone in her orbit, even if they're her bratty big brother André (Isaac Schoumsky) or Kashima herself. In fact, Kashima's emotional wounds make her pretty sympathetic.

Its watercolor art style, visualized by directors Liane-Cho Han and Maïlys Vallade, matches Amélie’s sense of wonder. She’s amazed by a vacuum cleaner, enough that it becomes her first word, and how it visualizes its suction power helps you understand the appeal. Through this art style, you'll start to wonder if she can really cause earthquakes or part the sea, or if it's just her imagination. Either way, these cosmic phenomena are great to look at. Some surprisingly effective and haunting food metaphors visualize Nishio describing her surviving the air raids during the war. The Japanese scenery is stunning, especially when it's lit by candles during Obon. It's all accentuated by a marvelous score by Mari Fukuhara.

Little Amélie is a short but sweet film. She goes through so much that you’ll be surprised once the credits hit. A few things, like Kashima’s ultimate compassion, could have been developed better, but they’re just minor flaws. You'll just have to see this film anywhere and however you can. Still see it. I think I said enough.

Hamnet

Umm, excuse me! Don't you mean Hamlet?

Why, right out of the starting gate, and someone's asking me this question.

No, Baxter. I mean Hamnet. You'll understand why once I explain the same-named movie, newly nominated for multiple Oscars, including the first ever Oscar for Casting. This has Chloe Zhao and Maggie O'Farrell adapt the latter's novel into screenplay form. Zhao, of course, also directed it.

Okay ...

So, there's this young Latin tutor (Paul Mescal) in the sixteenth century. We don't get his full name, until the end, but we realize right away that this is William Shakespeare himself. One day, he sees Agnes Hathaway (Jessie Buckley), a falconer and herbalist, walking by his students' house. They quickly fall for each other. They marry over the objections of their families; Will's, in particular, is aghast that he'd marry the daughter of a "forest witch." In due time, Will's writing career takes off, while he & Agnes have three kids - Susanna (Bodhi Rae Breathnach) and twins Hamnet (Jacobi Jupe) & Judith (Olivia Lynes). 

(Oh, so that's why it's called Hamnet.)

But this isn't a happy family movie. Will is often away at London writing for the Lord Chamberlain's Men. Judith gets the Black Plague and lies on her deathbed. Hamnet asks God to let him take her place and He obliges - Judith recovers and Hamnet dies. Will copes by writing Hamlet, a name we learn at the start was considered interchangeable with Hamnet, something Agnes picks up on. And she's not happy. Maybe she just needs to see what it's all about. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

You can probably tell that this will be a tough sit. I’ve heard for months how it left critics and audiences emotionally wrecked. It would disservice the subject matter if Hamnet’s death wasn’t the least bit devastating. That scene didn't disappoint, though it didn't leave me a sobbing mess. Sure, Hamnet & Judith had particularly nice chemistry, but they're fully introduced about an hour in, and it doesn't take long before the tragedy hits. It could have hit more if they were around longer, but I digress. I was more moved when Hamlet (Noah Jupe, Jacobi's big bro) gives his dying speech, which moves the entire Globe audience - Agnes included - to comfort him. It's quite a sight.

It's not all doom and gloom, though. In fact, Agnes and Will shine together from the moment they meet - even as she tries to shoo him off. Their subsequent romance and their family time is quite endearing. It’s quite funny to see Will humor the twins when they pull a twin-switch on him. It’s especially nice to see Mary (Emily Watson), Will’s mother, warm up to Agnes. They cope with Hamnet’s loss differently, though neither are wrong in their paths. Still, Agnes gets the biggest focus as we see her rebuild herself after the tragedy. As I said, it's quite rewarding when Agnes sees Hamlet.

Amongst the supporting cast, a few highlights include Joe Alwyn as Agnes's supportive brother Bartholomew, David Wilmot as Will's mean father John, and Justine Mitchell as Agnes's stepmom Joan. Breathnach, as Susanna, does her best with her limited narrative focus. Still, I thought the older Jupe was excellent as "Hamlet" (who, in real-life, was originated by Richard Burbage). You'll especially feel his frustrations when Will runs him ragged as they rehearse the play's "Get thee to a Nunnery" scene. They have a much friendlier, and moving, moment on-stage when Will plays the Ghost of King Hamlet. His final speech is a triumphant moment.

Max Richter's melancholic score was nominated today, but Lukasz Zal's ethereal cinematography wasn't. It's a pity, because paired together, they give us an exquisite experience. Its most emotional moments leave the camera running so everything can develop naturally. The makeup work used for the twins' sicknesses is appropriately disturbing, even if the overnight reversal is a bit questionable. It rightfully earned its last few nominations for its production and costume designs. Everything from the Globe Theatre to its patrons looks convincingly lived in; the stage Hamnet's spirit exits into is perfectly haunting.

Yes, Hamnet is emotional, but it might be more so if you know nothing about Shakespeare the man. That way, you can experience his every gut punch as hard as he does. It's still a pretty good film, and I can see why it's currently a top contender for Best Picture. I cordially invite you to see why for yourself. I think I've said enough. 

All You Need Is Kill

You know, I have the feeling I've been here before ...

What am I saying? Of course I have!

A long time ago, I reviewed Edge of Tomorrow, a Tom Cruise movie based on Hiroshi Sakurazaka's novel All You Need Is Kill. This year, I get to look at an anime movie which keeps the novel's title, but not its exact storyline. So, how does it do a second time around?

In the distant future, a giant space weed called Darol takes over Japan. It’s not doing much, except taking up space, so humanity mostly ignores it. Those who don’t are employed by the UDF (United Defense Force) on the world's largest landscaping job - with mech suits and robots! 

One year later, Darol basically blooms, unleashing monsters on the mechanized gardeners. These things don't have names, but I'll henceforth call them "Mimics," per the novel and first film. When Rita, a UDF loner, kills a certain Mimic, she's bathed in its blood just as it kills her too. And then, she wakes up hours earlier, gets to work, gets killed again, wakes up hours earlier, gets killed again, wakes up, tries to runaway but ...

Yup, she's stuck in a time loop. After a while, she decides to train herself to fight the Mimics. She soon gets pretty good at it, even if she still keeps dying over and over. But nothing really changes until she meets Keiji, a guy who also got doused in the same Mimic's blood. She not only finds a friend, but she finds a valuable partner in her war against the Mimics. Unfortunately, due to some stuff, all these loops are actually part of Darol's master plan. It's up to Rita and Keiji to destroy Darol in one final loop; otherwise, it's game over.

When you compare notes, Edge of Tomorrow actually sticks to the broadest strokes of the novel. This time, director Kenichiro Akimoto and writer Yuichiro Kido remix the novel’s concepts somewhat significantly. Darol is their invention; the protagonists are different; and even the ending takes after the first movie. It’s easy to surmise some bits of their worldbuilding, but you’ll have to piece together a few more details yourself. I was kind of lost when Dr. Shasta, the UDF kid genius, explained what made the loops possible. It was some kind of spores, but I couldn't discern what name she gave them. I might just need a repeat viewing.

Also, unlike Edge of Tomorrow, none of Rita’s deaths are played for laughs. They’re all sudden, all brutal, and often as she makes good headway against the Mimics. Her repeated losses drive her to despair, even suicide during one loop. It’s an 82-minute movie, and the endless cycle of death starts pretty early. It gets pretty tedious after a while, but the mood literally brightens when Keiji shows up. We're relieved with Rita once she realizes she's no longer alone in the universe. They're both traumatized, as we learn in flashbacks, and it's quite rewarding to see them help each other. You'll definitely feel something during a dark turn in the final battle. But it ends all right.

Its cel-shaded characters animated by Studio 4°C are quite strange. While the Mimics are fascinatingly eerie spider-flowers, not one human has the same body shape. The humans are all angular, and they look particularly gangly when they don their mechanized Jackets. If anything, the humans visually stand out, since only Rita, Keiji and Dr. Shasta narratively stand out. It's pretty colorful, but when Keiji reveals he's also a looper, the color palette actually brightens significantly. It's a heavy-handed, yet appropriate, design choice. We also get some great sound effects, particularly for Darol's roars, and a delightfully eerie soundtrack by Yasuhiro Maeda.

As I looked back on Edge of Tomorrow, I remembered how excellent its terrifying opening montage was, how fun Tom Cruise was playing against type, and its spectacular effects. Maybe I might give that a repeated viewing, too. All You Need Is Kill is so short that I almost considered doubling it up with Charlie the Wonder Dog. Obviously, I didn't, but that's okay, since this film was already a fine matinee on its own. I think it's fine to check out both this film and Edge ot Tomorrow together, though.  I think I said enough.

Blue Moon

 I’ve just covered a Song Sung Blue, now let’s hear about a Blue Moon. 

Unlike a few other films, Blue Moon never rose to a theatre near me. It’s been on-demand for at least a month now, but I’d rather not pay $19.99 if I could help it. Well, it got discounted this week, so I bought it digitally. Let’s see what folks have seen since October.

It’s March 31st, 1943, and Oklahoma! has just debuted on Broadway. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s breakout hit would, of course, codify American musical theatre for decades to come. But tonight, Lorenz Hart (Ethan Hawke), Richard Rodgers’ (Andrew Scott) former collaborator, seriously doesn’t see what the fuss is about. He finds it a cornpone mess, but he knows that it will be playing long after he’s dead. Since we first see him collapse on the street and die off-screen that November, we know it won’t be that long for him.

Hart walks out on Oklahoma!’s title song to drink his sorrows at Sardi’s. The rest of the film has him hang around Sardi’s, talking to bartender Eddie (Bobby Cannavale), a fictional pianist named Morty Rifkin (Jonah Lees), and even a few actual famous people. Most significantly, he tries to patch things up with Rodgers and maybe go steady with the significantly younger Elizabeth Weiland (Margaret Qualley). He’ll try to make the most of it, even if everything doesn’t go his way.

Robert Kaplow’s screenplay, which Richard Linklater directed, says it’s inspired by Hart and Elizabeth’s letters to each other. Obviously, I don't have the source material on hand, but maybe it's not necessary, considering that this whole movie is a "what-if" scenario. Who knows if Hart actually met all those future famous people at Sardi's? Who knows if Elizabeth actually existed or is a composite? But Oklahoma!'s reviews, which we hear quoted during the afterparty, are actually factual. They were really wowed by its ability to blend songs, dances together with a story.

It's interesting that the radio reporter announcing Hart's death calls him and Rodgers "America's Gilbert and Sullivan." W.S. Gilbert, in case you're interested, was rather cantankerous and irascible, which perfectly describes Hart in this film. He showcases his entertaining ego as he and Eddie quote Casablanca, dismisses Oklahoma!'s exclamation mark, and even its source material - the now-obscure play Green Grow the Lilacs. Until the afterparty arrives, it's just him, Eddie, and Morty, with Hawke never wasting a word as Hart. When he's silent, you can tell that he realizes he's at the end of his rope. He can't even fathom why Rodgers would rather do more serious works - as Sullivan did - than their satirical ones.

Obviously, Rodgers and Hammerstein (Simon Delaney) figure into the plot, but who else do have? Hart helps inspire E.B. White (Patrick Kennedy) to write Stuart Little. He also annoys a young Stephen Sondheim (Cillian Sullivan) with a joke that "Stevie" will use decades later in A Funny Thing Happened on The Way to The Forum. Elizabeth brings her classmate, George Roy Hill (David Rawle), for a quick cameo. Morty, while fictional, is still a pretty cool guy. Let's not forget Elizabeth, whose personality, emotional maturity and chemistry with Hart are simply radiant. He doesn't get the girl, but it surely was fun while it lasted. I wonder if I'm reading into this optimistically.

Let’s, ahem, sing some praises for the technical works. First, to the makeup and hairstyling crew, for rendering Hawke unrecognizable as Hart. You might not even know that this short, balding man shares an actor with the Grabber until you hear him talk. I still have a little trouble connecting them together. Yes, I also said he was short, as the real-life Hart was a foot shorter than Hawke. A few seamless camera tricks, plus some inherent quirks in Susie Cullen's production design, help pull off this illusion. This is practically a filmed stage play, considering the scope, and thankfully, the Sardi's set is never boring or claustrophobic. It helps that there's a pleasant score by Graham Reynolds, which mostly adapts old favorites, to accentuate the mood.

It may be a film about a man's final months, but Blue Moon is surprisingly entertaining. Hawke’s performance may be getting all the awards buzz, but it also has a fun supporting cast and stellar script. Really, everyone involved should take a bow or two. You'll have to see it for yourself, however and whenever you can. It might get you in the mood for Oklahoma!, or may be Rodgers and Hart's whole catalog. If I'm in the mood, I might review Linklater's other film of the season, Nouvelle Vague. But that's it for today.

If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You

 This movie, with this peculiar title, came out in October near me, but I passed up my chance to watch it then. With Rose Byrne getting Oscar buzz, I realized I had to see it some time. That time came a few days ago, as I rented it through Amazon and pressed play. Let’s see what I’ve missed.

Linda (Byrne) has a lot on her mind. Her Ship Captain husband, Charles (Christian Slater), is on a two-week worktrip, leaving her to take care of their daughter (Delaney Quinn). Their daughter, who isn’t even named and whose face is mostly kept off-screen, requires a feeding tube to treat an unspecified condition. They can’t keep up with Dr. Spring’s (director and writer Mary Bronstein) strict wellness program. And then, her ceiling collapses, which requires the two of them to move to a motel.

It just so happens that Linda is a therapist, who regularly receives counseling from a colleague (Conan O’Brien). One of her regular patients is Caroline (Danielle Macdonald), a new mother with severe postpartum depression. One day, Caroline up and leaves Linda with her baby, and her husband (Bronstein’s husband Ronald) can’t be bothered to immediately relieve her. Although she gets the police to help, Linda can’t get any for the ceiling, which gets worse by the day. All of this causes her mental health to deteriorate further and further. Is there a light at the end of her tunnel?

When we first see Linda, we see only her, and occasional glimpses of her daughter. Between Christopher Messina’s extreme close-ups, and Linda’s weariness, we can already tell that she’s dealing with a lot. Indeed, some of her problems, like the collapsing ceiling, are rather farcical. As the film goes on, her problems get surreal, occasionally violent, and pretty maddening. It even gets depressing, as Linda wonders if she’ll end up like Yoselyn Ortega or Andrea Yates. Thanks to Byrne’s performance, Linda never loses her audience’s support, even as she partakes in something drastic - and disturbing - in the climax. Still, to answer my question, the film leaves her with a sliver of hope for the future.

There’s a pretty good supporting cast in Linda’s orbit, even if their characters aren’t at all likable. O’Brien, as the colleague, is so restrained and serious that he's practically unrecognizable. But with Charles absent, Dr. Spring too condescending, and Caroline's husband callously unhelpful, he's still a welcome sympathetic ear. It's also pretty funny when he and Linda squabble after Caroline vanishes. She also has James (ASAP Rocky), her motel's superintendent, and Diana (Ivy Woulk), the front desk clerk, to help her out. Still, Linda's difficult personality stretches their limits, and you won't blame them when they hit theirs. Linda's arch-nemesis, a parking attendant (Mark Stolzenberg), clearly hit that limit ages ago, but he's just annoying compared to some of her other problems. 

Let's give a few shout outs to its technical aspects. There's no composer credited, but we still get something like a score here. It's mostly an unsettling soundmix filled with ambience and the occasional muzak, which does wonders in putting us in Linda's headspace. Her hallucinations, and the occasional real-life violence (particularly a shocking incident with a hamster), are visualized with pretty spectacular effects. There's some pretty great production design, by Carmen Navis, for Linda's apartment in every bit of its disrepair. And finally, everything is held together nicely by editor Lucian Johnston.

Overall, If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You can be an extremely uncomfortable comedy to watch. Yes, despite the nightmare fuel, and the mental crises, it's still a dark comedy. But as I said, the slim, yet hopeful ending for its protagonist, makes this cinematic ordeal worth watching at least once. It's disturbing, yes, but it's also strangely rewarding. If it doesn't sound appealing, don't worry, for I've got something a bit more palatable next time. 

Song Sung Blue

I’ve held off on watching Song Sung Blue ever since it came out on Christmas. I don't really have a good reason why. But after Kate Hudson was nominated for the SAG Award on Wednesday, I immediately went off to watch it. So, let's see what everyone else has been singing blue about.

Craig Brewer converted Greg Kohs's 2008 documentary into narrative form. It immediately starts with Mike Sardina (Hugh Jackman) seemingly being interviewed for another documentary. Shot tightly close by Amy Vincent, the now Oscar-shortlisted cinematographer, he tells us about his life, his passion for music, and even his alcoholism. It's at this point we learn he's at an AA meeting, celebrating his 20th "sober birthday" with a performance of Neil Diamond's titular song.

Mike, a Milwaukee mechanic, is also a cover artist named "Lightning." One night, at the Wisconsin State Fair, Mike is supposed to cover Don Ho, but he'd rather be himself. So, he quits, but not before he meets single mom Claire Stengl (Hudson), who's covering Patsy Cline. Once they get acquainted, they decide to form a Diamond tribute band, Lightning and Thunder. Their careers take off when they open for Pearl Jam, and they eventually marry.

What else happens? Claire gets into a horrendous accident, which leaves her physically and mentally scarred. She and Mike argue a lot as he struggles to find work outside of their act. Her daughter, Rachel (Ella Robinson), gets pregnant, though she's got an adoptive couple on standby. Mike also has a bad heart, and the family's insurance isn't that good. I think that's it.

For the first hour or so, it’s all fun and games as Lightning and Thunder meet, fall in love, and make beautiful music together. It gets buoyant whenever they sing Diamond, from the obvious Sweet Caroline to obscure songs like Play Me, Soolaimon and Holly Holy. The songs are delightful, and Hudson and Jackman are clearly having fun playing together. It's 132- minutes long, and the scenes off-stage may make you feel every second of it.

After the accident, it rushes through all the problems I mentioned above. Claire’s accident - a random car smashes into her while she’s gardening - is legitimately shocking, but Mike having a heart attack at the hospital is a little too much. Granted, this actually happened in real life, but this is the first time we learn of his “jacked up heart.” It only acts up again in another shocking accident. It’s a bit hard to follow, though never tedious, as the dramatics pile up. It doesn’t help that the film, as a whole, condenses the real-life timeline to a few years at most.

So, what about Lightning and Thunder? Well, Jackman is pretty charming as Mike, but that's a given. He lights up on stage, discusses music, or even expresses annoyance over Sweet Caroline. He's got an ego, but he's still humble enough to acknowledge his Thunder, especially near the end. Hudson is pretty enjoyable as Claire, and you'll really feel for her when she's put through the ringer. I already mentioned their electric chemistry, but one of their best scenes off stage is the awkward manner he proposes to her. You'll smile with them and even laugh uneasily when Claire misses another runaway car by seconds.

Let’s meet the supporting cast. Fisher Stevens is fine as Dr. Dave Watson, Mike’s manager and dentist who helped craft his Lightning persona. It dawned on me that Tom D’Amato, Mike’s agent, had a very familiar voice, though only later did I realize it was Jim Belushi. He’s good too, as is Michael Imperioli as fellow impersonator Mark Shurilla. “Sex Machine” (Mustafa Shakir), the James Brown impersonator, is quite fun, but Angelina (King Princess), Mike’s daughter from his first marriage, is just there. She and Rachel become besties, but Rachel’s brother Dayna (Hudson Henley) has far more plot relevance.

That Oscar-shortlisted cinematography is dazzling, but it’s even better with Billy Fox’s editing. There’s the crash, which cuts to black just before impact, but that’s enough to jolt anyone awake. The other accident is quick and brutal, even if the aftermath may befuddle you (it embellishes some details, but it's consistent with the true story). If any one scene earned Stewart her spot, it's a very creepy nightmare where Claire performs Sweet Dreams on stage. And finally, let's give some praise to the visual effects team; you'll know why when you see Claire post-accident.

Song Sung Blue is fine, but it could've been better if it developed its timeline better. Still, if all you want is a Neil Diamond experience, then Jackman and Hudson's performances will give it to you in spades. They're just as good as the real, real deal himself, who unfortunately never shows up here. But let's not hold that, or The Jazz Singer, against him. I think I said enough.

Marty Supreme

Ladies and Gentlemen!

I promised you months ago a matchup between two - two! - sports films by the individual Safdie Brothers. We’ve already seen Benny’s The Smashing Machine, so let’s give a hand to Josh’s Marty Supreme! Let’s get ready to review!

….

Seriously, who is that?

….

Anyway, we’re introduced to Marty Mauser (Timothee Chalamet), an underground ping-pong champion in 1952 New York. He works at his uncle Murray’s (Larry “Ratso” Sloman) to help fund a trip to London for his first championship. When Murray refuses to give him an extra $700, Marty steals it himself and flies on over to his first humiliation. That comes when he loses to Koto Endo (actual Japanese ping-pong player Koto Kawaguchi) and promptly loses his cool.

At home, Marty is confronted with an escalating series of problems. Murray wants to press charges; Marty accidentally crushes one Ezra Mishkin’s (Abel Ferrera) arm with a hotel bathtub (don’t ask); he and his best friend Wally (Tyler the Creator) lose Ezra’s dog, Moses; his childhood friend Rachel (Odessa A’zion) is pregnant with his child; and he’s been banned from professional ping-pong. Fortunately, he met aging starlet Kay Stone (Gwyneth Paltrow) in London. Her husband, Milton Rockwell (Kevin O’Leary), is a powerful pen magnate, so he might help get him out of trouble. But that will cost him.

Jennifer Venditti, the Safdies’ mutual casting director, is among those shortlisted for the first ever Casting Oscar. It’s easy to see why once you see this film’s surprising choices. There’s O’Reily, whom you might recognize from Shark Tank, who’s really menacing as the unforgiving Rockwell. You might also recognize Fran Drescher as Marty’s mom Rebecca, a woman of little nonsense. But you might not recognize Penn Jillette - that’s right, Penn of Penn & Teller - as the trigger-happy farmer Hoff, until you see the credits. You won’t be laughing at any of his screen time, that’s for sure.

Let’s see who we have further up the cast list. We’ve got Paltrow, whose world-weary Kay still craves affection. When she stages her comeback play, whose director is none other than David Mamet, it proves to be a catastrophe. Her gutted reaction is all we need to understand the reception. Meanwhile, A’zion’s Rachel is married to the brutish Ira Mizler (Emory Cohen), but she’s a good match for Marty. She’s just as impulsive as him, to the point of manipulative, but she’s still pretty sympathetic. And then there’s Ferrera, whose Mishkin gradually goes from nice to frighteningly violent.

And finally, let’s dedicate a paragraph to Marty. For much of the movie, I was honestly annoyed by Marty’s towering ego and immense stupidity. He’ll make anything worse for himself, even if it’s not exactly his fault - see the bathtub incident. But he’s not irredeemable. In fact, he proves himself capable of goodness when he agrees to drive Moses to the Vet. He tries his best to find the dog, even if it’s just for the reward, which is where he meets Hoff (and wishes he hadn’t). A catastrophic incident helps him realize the error of his ways; he still puts his ego to good use in the climax. Everything makes sense once you realize it’s about him learning humility through humiliation.

Let’s talk about its technicians, some of whom have been also shortlisted for Oscars. There’s cinematographer Darius Khondji, who, with production designer Jack Fisk, renders the 1950s with alluring grittiness. It’s not a rose-tinted world, but it still looks nice to live in. Daniel Lopatin energetic score is sometimes complimented, not supplanted, by some purposefully anachronistic needle drops. Safdie, and his writing/editing collaborator Ronald Bronstein, make the ping-pong matches as compelling as the violence. Finally, an excellent makeup team sketches Marty’s unglamorous, yet dashing, looks, as well as bruises both “real” and “fake.”

Yes, Marty Supreme requires a lot of patience, both for its protagonist and its two-and-a-half-hour runtime. Give them time, and you might find yourself impressed with its unusual story. I admit that I was rather impatient, but I came away appreciative that it didn't turn out to be hopelessly bleak. It got me interested in reading up on Marty's real-life inspiration, Marty Reisman, and it was surprising to see the overlaps. It's not my favorite film of the year, but I still respect it a lot; I'm willing to give it another shot once it premieres on HBOMax.

I think I said enough for this year.

Now, who was that announcer?

Sentimental Value

 It’s a good year for Neon.

The film distributor, that is.

This past March, Anora got them their second Oscar for Best Picture. Next March, they might also get their second Oscar for Best International Feature. Not only that, but they might have the whole category to themselves. Yes, of the fifteen films shortlisted, five of them are distributed by Neon.

Let’s start with Norway’s Sentimental Value, Joachim Trier’s follow-up to his also Oscar-nominated The Worst Person in the World. Let’s see what he and his usual co-writer, Erisk Vogt, have this time.

Gustav Borg (Stellan Skarsgård) is one of Norway’s most renowned directors, even if he’s well past his prime. He drops by his ex-wife’s funeral to reconnect with their daughters - Nora (Renate Reinsve), an actress, and Agnes (Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas), a historian. It’s a matter of literal family business, for Gustav has written a role for Nora in his next movie. It’s based on her grandmother, who hanged herself when Gustav was seven, and it will be filmed at their house - where she actually died. Nora flatly says no.

Gustav meets Hollywood starlet Rachel Kemp (Elle Fanning) at a film festival, and casts her in the role. This gets Netflix interested, but it also does little for his familial relationships. Agnes is particularly incensed when her son, Erik (Øyvind Hesjedal Loven), is cast as his grandpa. Nora, meanwhile, suffers from crippling anxiety. This film might give everyone a chance to mend their relationships. 

And for 133-minutes, you’ll be invested in their cinematic therapy. Nora and Rachel have every right to rebuff Gustav, given their personal history. And yet, Skarsgård’s performance makes it impossible to hate him. He’s a doting, yet unconventional grandfather; an absent father; a brilliant filmmaker; and a cantankerous old man. Above all else, he’s still a pretty good man, even if he has trouble showing it. I especially find it appealing how happy he is in teaching his craft to the next generation. Again, who can hate him?

Now, let’s talk about those daughters. Nora’s first scene has her paralyzed with stage fright during her latest play. One can relate to her jitters - I do - as her bout lasts for seemingly forever. The wait is worth it once she gets on stage. Off-stage, her affair with co-star Jakob (Anders Danielsen Lie) gives her little comfort. Agnes, who once starred in one of Gustav’s films, gets her best scene when she calls out Gustav for his flaws. She also resolves her family’s fractured relationships when she studies her grandma and her problems. Yeah, quite convenient, but you’ll have to see it in context.

It's especially impossible to hate Rachel. She pretty much enjoys filmmaking and is eager to learn more from an old pro like Gustav. In fact, she seeks him out after she watches Agnes's old movie at a festival. She’s spectacular when she acts out her movie-within-a-movie’s climactic monologue, but she’s even better when she realizes she’s not right for the part. You will believe every bit of effort she puts into her part; it’s not for lack of trying. Overall, Fanning’s performance is invaluable for this ensemble.

Speaking of invaluable, let's bring in cinematographer Kasper Tuxen, who was just shortlisted for the Oscar. Modern family dramas aren't usually considered here, but it makes sense once you tour the Borgs’ home. We’re greeted with a huge crack in the wall early on, then watch it get renovated in the finale (can you say, metaphor?). Nora’s minimalist theatre company gives us an interesting bait-and-switch moment midway through. If there was a Production Design shortlist, Jørgen Stangebye Larsen would be on it. A little later, as Gustav teaches Erik cinematography, Gustav “spears” himself with a toy shovel in a dazzling moment of visual trickery. You’ll wonder how they did that. 

Yes, while I expect Neon to dominate the International Feature Category, I have my eye on a few other candidates (Japan's Kokuho, for example). I'll gradually get to as much of them as I can in the coming weeks. For now, I leave Sentimental Value with a confident recommendation. It's readily available to stream just about anywhere but Netflix - I picked Amazon, as usual. So, check it out, and prepare to immerse yourself in a family drama with an almost nonexistent language barrier. I think I said enough.

Anaconda

Hey, did you know they were rebooting Anaconda?!

Wha’? You mean that big snake movie with J-Lo, Ice Cube, and Jon Voight? That snake movie with all the Sci-Fi channel sequels? That Anaconda?

It’s pretty stupid, right?!

What am I supposed to do about it, Baxter? Lament the death of Hollywood? Lament the death of original ideas? Anaconda isn’t the pinnacle of Hollywood, but at least this reboot has an original angle.

Wha’? You gotta tell me about it!

So, we’ve got Griff (Paul Rudd), a dayplayer who’s just been fired from his latest gig. He heads back to Buffalo, where his childhood friends, Doug (Jack Black), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn), are also stuck in their lives. They've always loved horror movies, and they even made one as kids. So, when Griff tells his friends he has the remake rights to Anaconda, they head off to the Amazon to make it. 

Unfortunately, they arrive underfunded and underprepared for this type of "Indie" movie. Doug, the director, casts a real snake as the anaconda, but Griff, the star, accidentally kills it. Santiago (Selton Mello), their snake handler, quickly forgives Griff for his fatal stupidity. But while looking for a new snake, Griff and Santiago encounter a monster anaconda that’s been slithering around the whole movie. Let’s see how they all survive this real-life monster movie.

Tom Gormican, who previously directed the meta-fictional Nicolas Cage movie, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, is an appropriate choice for this type of reboot. Having an actual monster snake stalk a film crew trying to remake a monster snake movie is a fun angle to take. Don’t even look for an explanation how the monster snake came to be. It’s probably one of nature’s mysteries, which I can totally accept.

It may be a comedy, but it could’ve taken things a bit more seriously. Early on, we see the creature feature our heroes made as kids, which may have been schlocky, but they still had fun making it. Then Griff and Doug wax cluelessly poetic about Anaconda’s - both the original and their movie. They’re joined by Ana (Daniela Melchior), a mysterious woman being pursued by Joao (Rui Ricardo Diaz), an illegal gold miner. But they’re thrown off the movie once we learn their true allegiances. It’s as if the film isn’t interested in its own twist villain, or any other villain besides the monster snake.

So, why would I recommend this movie? It’s because it gets good when it commits to its action-horror tone. The jump scares work, while the monster snake effects are pretty effective. One of its big twists, that Griff never had the film rights to begin with, is taken appropriately seriously. For all the big jokes the trailer spoiled, there are just as many surprisingly funny ones it didn’t. Its big action climax, on the set of an actual Anaconda reboot, is quite thrilling. 

Our intrepid cast does the best they can with this screenplay. Black and Rudd are fun together as Doug and Griff, each of whom lets you feel, even somewhat, for their dead-end lives. Newton, who usually doesn't do these types of films, is a welcome addition, even if Claire doesn't do much. Zahn's pretty lively as Kenny, even if his character is basically The Load. It's so much fun to watch Mello have fun as Santiago, particularly when he quickly reconciles with Griff. It helps that there's a nice surprise for Santiago during the credits. It would have been nice if Melchior and Diaz's subplot hadn’t felt like an afterthought; they really left a strong impression. And finally, expect a few surprise cameos.

The first Anaconda, and its sequels, are now regarded as cable schedule fillers. You can probably expect this Anaconda to join them in a generation or two. That's not saying that this film is awful; don't expect anything profound and you'll get a lively distraction from the doldrums. If you want something more substantial, well, I think I've found a few films that are supposed to be that. Those reviews come next.

Train Dreams

 Earlier this year, I reviewed Sing Sing, which Greg Kweldar directed and co-wrote with Clint Bentley. This time, I review Train Dreams, which Bentley directed and co-wrote with Kweldar. What a year this has been.

A narrator (Will Patton) tells us all about one Robert Grainier (Joel Edgerton). He never knew his parents, and if he had a great destiny, he never knew it either. All he knew was the wilderness, where he helped build the railroads with some eclectic characters. It takes us a while before we realize that this is the 20th century. 

In the meantime, he meets and weds Grace Olding (Felicity Jones). They start a life with their daughter, Katie, in a log cabin. Robert frequently leaves them for months to take up logging work. A few things later upend his uneventful life. One is a massive wildfire, and the other is him finally seeing the modern world. 

Bentley and Kweldar adapted Denis Johnson's novella into a svelte, 102-minute film. That's plenty of time to get to know Robert, whom Edgerton plays pretty well from young man to eighty-year-old. He gets plenty of nice moments with Gladys, especially when she takes the initiative to introduce herself. You'll easily sympathize with him after his family disappears, and he later finds a girl who might be Katie. He mostly watches stuff happen around him, like a fellow laborer (Alfred Hsing) getting murdered. To his credit, the event and the man's "ghost" haunt him. 

We've got a dynamic supporting cast here, perhaps none more so than William H. Macy. As Arn Peeples, the demolitions expert, he's delightfully grumpy, but is still an invaluable mentor. When he's struck down by a falling branch, Patton constantly narrates his decline, but you'll still empathize with the old man. Nathan Schneider gets a good scene in as the rambling Apostle Frank, as does Brandon Lindsay, whose Elijah Brown has a score to settle with Frank. We also have the grocer Ignatius Jack (Nathaniel Arcand), and the forest ranger Claire Thompson (Kerry Condon), both of whom provide great moral support.

It's little surprise that Adolpho Veloso got himself Oscar shortlisted for his cinematography. Taking cues from Terence Malick, Veloso films the Pacific Northwest and Robert's nightmares in natural light. Veloso filmed the movie in an unusual 3:2 aspect ratio, which comes through in its extreme wide shots (like in Elijah's scene). Moments like Robert coming across the fire thankfully speak for themselves. These haunting visuals are matched by composer Bryce Dessner, whose score and end credits song (a collaboration with Nick Cave), were also shortlisted. I wouldn't mind any of them getting onto the final ballot.

Yes, Train Dreams is on Netflix, but it's still playing in some theatres. Hop on to the biggest screen you can find and check it out. About my only problem with it is the constant narration, but that's alleviated by Patton's folksy voice (he also narrated the audiobook). Overall, it's surprisingly easy to watch this thematically dense film. See it soon to see what I mean; on to my next movie destination.

Wake Up Dead Man

Wake up, critic!

You’ve been sitting on this movie for weeks! I understand you weren’t going to watch it in theatres last month, but that grace period ended once it got on Netflix. Where’s the review for Wake Up Dead Man …

Vance! I already have it.

Good, let’s go …

Wake Up Dead Man (A Knives Out Mystery)

This time, Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is already on his latest case. His latest dead man is Msgr. Jefferson Wicks (Josh Brolin), a firebrand preacher with a small, yet devoted flock. They all think that the new assistant pastor, Rev. Jud Dupenticy (Josh O'Connor), stabbed Wicks in the middle of his Good Friday speech. But Blanc would like to check out the other suspects first.

Amongst the flock, we have washed up author Lee Ross (Andrew Scott); alcoholic Dr. Nat Sharp (Jeremy Renner); career lawyer Vera Draven (Kerry Washington); Vera's adopted son and influencer Cy (Daryl McCormack); disabled cellist Simone Vivane (Cailee Spaeny); and Wicks's secretary Martha (Glen Close) and her groundskeeper husband, Samson (Thomas Haden Church). They all have plausible motives, but only one actually acted on theirs. Blanc and Jud get on the case, though Blanc might not like the answer ...

One may notice that Blanc isn't in much of the first act. He's in the first few seconds, about to read Jud's account of the case, then finally shows up around forty-minutes in. It takes another twenty minutes before we get back to the start. That's right, he's not being summoned for the case; he was already there. On my first watch, I was perplexed by what I thought was such a late start to the plot. Jud tells us about the suspects, rather than let us learn with Blanc during his investigation, which felt a bit front-loaded. As I write this now, I realize that we're supposed to follow Jud, not Blanc, as the central character. Its plotting makes much more sense once you do that.

It also helps that Rian Johnson presents us with some captivating ideas. Yes, there's the effective locked-room mystery, but I'm especially impressed with the flock's hidden depths. While they first appear tightly knit, we come to understand them as an unhappy lot trapped in their lives. They come to realize that Wicks doesn't deserve their time, faith and money, yet they don't know anything else. This humanizes the flock, even the otherwise unrepentantly unpleasant Cy. Their Bad Shepherd, Wicks, also has a few humanizing qualities, even if he tells us way more than we want to. Give him time, and his worse qualities become too numerous to ignore.

Yes, Blanc is still a great detective, but it's impressive how he's challenged in the sequels. In Knives Out, he's very straightforward, despite his delightful eccentricities. In the last movie, he's flummoxed by the idea how the simplest solution could be the solution. Here, in his summation, he's all ready to solve the case, but he realizes it's best to let the mastermind confess. A confession is good for the soul, after all. I already wonder where a next movie can take him after that powerful and well-acted epiphany. 

Who else do we have here? Obviously, we've got Jud, who clocks a justifiably unpopular deacon in his first scene. Jud, a former boxer, spends the film learning to open his fists, so to speak. He and Blanc have great chemistry together once he becomes the latter's Watson. Blanc's epiphany is matched by Jud praying with Louise (Bridget Everett), a motormouth receptionist dealing with her mother's inevitable death. That scene, alone, makes Bridget the film's best supporting character outside of the flock. Mila Kunis and Jeffrey Wright are fine as Chief Scott and Bishop Langstrom, respectively. Chief Scott is ready to arrest Jud, while Langstrom is willing to give him a shot. Finally, we have Annie Hamilton, who plays Wicks's long dead mother, Grace, whose "fallen" ways loom over her son's church.

For this outing, Johnson and his usual crew lean heavily into a gothic horror aesthetic. The church, Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude, is a lot humbler, yet no less striking, than the last film's Glass Onion. It's not completely humble, given its unique bully pulpit, but it's close enough. When Grace vandalizes the Church, for reasons we'll fully understand later, Johnson and cinematographer Steve Yedlin steers the movie into Bram Stoker's Dracula territory - a reference Johnson admits. A few more striking scenes include the reveal of a second victim and Wicks's seeming resurrection (hence the title). A few Andrew Lloyd Webber needle drops give us some funny jump scares, while Nathan Johnson's overall score is suited for the spookiness. 

As with its predecessors, Wake Up Dead Man appeals to those who love good mysteries with a side of humor. Its brand of gothic thrills and chills might just make it a new Halloween classic. Prepare to lose a slow afternoon to its many twists and turns. You won't forget the summation, that's for sure. It's ready when you are, so how about it? Do you want to wake up the dead man?

If not, I'm sure I can recommend something else ...

Avatar: Fire and Ash

 A lot of people think that the Avatar movies, despite being two of the biggest moneymakers of all time, have no cultural impact. Where's the tie-in merchandise between movies? Where's the spin-off shows? Where's the comic books, or something? I'd like to think that this franchise doesn't believe in oversaturation.

And now, let's see what kind of impact its latest sequel, Avatar: Fire and Ash, will leave besides a mammoth box-office and a new standard for visual effects.

James Cameron brings us back to Pandora a little while after The Way of Water. Here, we find Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) and Neyteri (Zoe Saldana) coping with the death of their eldest son Neteyam during the last film's big battle. Their surviving son, Lo'ak (Britain Dalton), blames himself for Neteyam's death, while Neytiri blames the humans - even though Jake used to be one. Jake decides to take the family on a trip with the airborne Tlalim clan, where they'll drop off his adopted human son, Spider (Jack Champion), with his kind. 

On the way, they're ambushed by the Mangkwan, a clan of brigands also called the Ash People. Their chieftain, Varang (Oona Chaplin), bonds with Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang) when he introduces her to guns. Kiri (Sigourney Weaver), the other adopted Sully, saves Spider with mycelium when his oxygen mask fails. Unfortunately, this might be what the human villains need to finish conquering Pandora. Quaritch, Spider's biological father, also wants to settle the score with Jake. They'll get their chance when Jake and the Na'vi come to the defense of the whale-like Tulkun.

Wait, wasn't the last movie's climax also a battle with space whalers? Why, yes it was! You'd think that Dr. Gavin (Jermaine Clement) and his crew would've learned already, but whatever. They won't be back. 

At times, it often struggles with its multiple storylines during its 195-minutes. Payakan, the main Tulkun, is immediately introduced getting exiled for his violent anti-whaler resistance. Sure, most of its viewers will know who he is, but a quick scene could've helped. The Tulkuns stubbornly sit on their fins until the whalers draw near. The blunt dialogue drives its themes like sledgehammers, which feels much more noticeable this time. You can see a few plot points from a mile away, much like the Academy Award its visual effects team can expect in a few months. A few characters die during its mammoth final battle, but only one leaves much of an impact. Still, a few plot aspects worked:

As I hoped for last time, Kiri’s origins are expanded upon here. She’s basically the Na’vi messiah, which I can accept given what we already know about Pandora. She doesn’t take her unconventional birth well, but Jake already accepts her, much like last time. She and Spider have nice chemistry together, despite the extreme age differences of their actors. Amidst the final battle, Kiri tries bonding with the Spirit Tree to see the Na'vi God, Eywa, which almost kills her. She only survives when her step-siblings bond with the tree in a nice display of togetherness. I think the film would've benefited if the story centered around her.

We also have the villains to consider. Quaritch still tries to bond with Spider, which goes nowhere again, but he gets points for trying. Quaritch has better luck with Varang, who’s unapologetically sadistic, but still has a sympathetic backstory. You’ll feel that much when she shares it with Quaritch. These two form a fascinatingly twisted couple, far more intriguing than the heroic Jake and Neytiri. Gen. Ardmore (Edie Falco) questions Quaritch's loyalties, which is a bit baffling since he's still getting them results. Varang is the only Mangkwan with a name and personality, and even she abruptly disappears during the final battle. It's no doubt to save her for part four, which I hope will take her somewhere good.

It's technically everything you've seen last time and more. Last time, I complained about some of the effects sputtering due to them being rendered in higher framerates. That doesn't seem to be an issue this time. Everything from the Na'vi and Pandoran wildlife to the humans' mechs looks better than ever. The Mangkwan, despite mostly being cannon fodder, are visually striking villains, while the flying jellyfish Medusae and Tulkun council are sights to behold. The magnetic field that pops up during the final battle is an interesting video gamesque caveat. Many of the same technical personalities from last time continue their excellence here - such as composer Simon Franglen and the late co-editor John Refoua. 

It’s as visually impressive as it is overlong. But Avatar: Fire and Ash makes itself worth seeing with the subplots I mentioned above. It’s about a good diversion as any from a slow and boring afternoon. So, I’ll leave it to you if you want to see it or not. Now, let’s see about those other sequels. I’m waiting, Mr. Cameron.

Dust Bunny

Supposedly, Tobe Hooper tried to get his horror classic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, a PG-rating by keeping most of the violence offscreen. But it got Rated R anyway because it was still disturbing.

A decade later, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Gremlins pushed the boundaries of a PG-rating so far that we now have the PG-13 rating.

Decades later, meaning now, Hannibal showrunner Bryan Fuller makes his feature debut with Dust Bunny, a "family horror film" that happens to be rated R. I'm not making any of this up. Let me tell you about it.

Fuller brings along his Hannibal, Mads Mikkelsen, as protagonist Aurora's (Sophie Sloan) "Intriguing Neighbor." Mostly referred to by his apartment number, 5B, he's an assassin employed by the shady Laverne (Sigourney Weaver). Aurora, meanwhile, is his intrigued neighbor in 5A, who catches him slaying a dragon (gangsters disguised as dragon dancers). Back home, Aurora thinks that there's a monster under her bed that eats anyone who walks around at night. Her parents don't believe her up until it eats them offscreen.

It turns out this was Aurora's third set of parents; all of them became monster food. So, she hires 5B to kill the monster. He thinks that her parents were killed by his enemies, so he accepts the gig. He realizes the monstrous truth just as several hired guns - the most significant being Laverne and a guy played by David Dastmalchian - come after Aurora. These hired guns are in for a giant, fluffy, and dusty surprise.

So, why is this family film rated R? If I had to guess, having 5B dispatch a goon with an electric toothbrush to the eye sealed the deal. Or maybe 5B preparing to cut up a bad guy's body (but not the actual act). We do see him shoot a few goons. It also has the Dust Bunny gobble its victims whole and bloodless, sometimes offscreen. We still hear the brutal details. Yeah, Gremlins tested its rating, but its most brutal violence was done to the little monsters. That's how Predator: Badlands got its PG-13 rating. I just want to let you know what to expect.

Everyone lives in what is evidently New York. I say evidently, because not only was it filmed in Budapest, but it's aesthetically unreal. You would think it's all on soundstages, but there was actual location filming there! As visualized by Jeremy Reed, this city is illuminated and decorated in only the brightest pastels, much like in Dick Tracy. The city glows orange at night, particularly when the "Conspicuously Inconspicuous Man" and his gang approach Aurora's apartment. The dragon fight is illuminated on a nearby building as a gigantic shadow play. One of the assassins blends into the wallpaper with his suit. And finally, Laverne is armed with high-heel shoes that double as pistols! All of this makes for a wonderfully surreal destination.

It stumbles a bit on the writing side. I could've done with one less round of Aurora and 5B arguing on his mispronouncing her name. It got a bit old really fast, much like that similar running gag on Family Guy. More annoying, however, is Aurora repeatedly warning 5B, whom she hired to kill her monster, to get off the floor or else he'll attract the monster. How's he supposed to kill it if he can't see it?! What eventually passes for the monster's origin, as well as its thematic implications, is quite confounding. Still, 5B and Aurora have pretty decent chemistry, so there's that.

Who else do we have? As Laverne, Weaver revels in her wickedness, even when she's supposed to be dead-serious. A good example is when she finally meets the Dust Bunny. Mr. Inconspicuous and his gang try to be threatening, until they meet the same monster bunny; after that, they're pretty funny. As Brenda, an FBI agent investigating Aurora's backstory, Sheila Atim is having a blast. It's quite funny when she and 5B see through each other's fake identities simultaneously. That's pretty much it for the cast.

What else do we have? Its opening oner, in which the dust bunny forms, fits right in with a Tim Burton film. It's a great appetizer for not only its wonderful surreality, but Lisa Summer's perfectly moody score. It's quite impressive to watch the Dust Bunny break through the floorboards, then reset the floor as it retreats. The impressive sound work sells us on its threat before we see it in full. It's surprisingly cuddly, like the world's biggest bunny puppy. You'll just have to see it for yourself.

If you've got no problems with your kids seeing R-Rated movies, then check out Dust Bunny. It's got a few writing issues, but they're compensated by its visual design. I can't fault it for its visual imperfections due to its deliberate unreality. I can just sit back and watch the craziness unfold. I think I said enough.

Jay Kelly

 His name is Jay Kelly.

That's what he says, anyway. But for all we know, he's really George Clooney with a new name, and speaking other people's words - in this case, Noah Baumbach and Emily Mortimer. True, that's how it usually is in his other films, but maybe not this time.

In the final minutes of his namesake film, Jay views a highlight reel of his filmography at an awards ceremony held in his honor. And by his filmography, I mean Clooney’s actual filmography. You’re bound to recognize more than a few films here - don’t expect Batman and Robin, though. Anyway, who is Jay Kelly and why should we care about him?

Jay, much like Clooney, is one of Hollywood’s biggest superstars. According to his manager and best friend, Ron Sukenick (Adam Sandler), he’s “the last of the old movie stars.” And right now, this old star’s starting to feel his age.

His younger daughter, Daisy (Grace Edwards), departs for Europe on a pre-college trip. Coincidentally, Jay was set to receive a lifetime achievement award in Tuscany, but he had Ron turn it down. He reconnects with his old roommate, Tim (Billy Crudup), at the funeral of Peter Schneider (Jim Broadbent), the director who gave Jay his big break. When things go sour between him and Tim, Jay and his entourage head off to Europe to follow Daisy and get that award. Along the way, he also reevaluates his life thus far. I think that’s pretty much it.

It's an easygoing movie with a harsh runtime of 132-minutes. As you can probably tell, it's more interested in testing Jay internally, rather than externally. It makes for a lot of navel-gazing, which I understand isn’t most people’s preference. Its most substantial external conflict is Tim threatening to sue Jay for assault (yes, it went that sour). But that's all brought up and resolved off-screen. We truly start feeling the overlength by the time Ron and Jay reach Tuscany. It's probably not even that late; Jay drags out telling Ron about his scuffle with Tim for far too long (Ron finds out on his own). 

What annoyed me the most was a plot thread where Jay stopped a purse-snatcher aboard his train. True, it's nice that he did it, but it's the identity of the purse-snatcher - a cyclist (Lars Eidinger) who randomly went crazy - that annoyed me the most. He was introduced just as Jay boarded his train, and he seemed nice; if it was some random stranger, I wouldn't have this issue.

Yes, it’s pretty long to sit through - it’s on Netflix - but it’s still worth it. Jay’s pretty relatable as he wonders about the personal roads not taken, especially with his last conversation with Schneider. Ron reevaluates his own relationship with Jay, particularly after he's abruptly fired by his other client, Ben (Patrick Wilson). It's quite profound as both of them wonder if they've been driving on the right roads. This is encapsulated perfectly by the film's last words, "Can I go again? I'd like another one." Overall, Jay is a decent deconstruction of the typically smooth Clooney-type, while Ron is Sandler's most likeable and mature character ever.

Who else do we have here? Jay's entourage includes his publicist Liz (Laura Dern), his hairstylist Candy (Mortimer), and his bodyguard, Silvano (Giovanni Zeqireya), most of whom quit during the journey. Liz is the most memorable, particularly since she and Ron have shared history together. Alba Rohrwacher is pretty likable as Jay's Italian tour guide, also named Alba, while Stacy Keach is pretty entertaining as Jay's dad. Charlie Rowe, as the younger Jay, isn't a dead ringer for Clooney, but he's got his confidence. Crudup's performance as Tim runs the gamut from chill to threatening to pathetic in his one major scene. Amongst Ron's family, the best is the uncredited actor playing his son, who's entertainingly annoying. 

Finally, let's talk about its presentation. Jay literally walks into his own flashbacks, which is both technically impressive and persistently surreal. In one scene, he's calling Jessica in a forest, and suddenly, she's there beside him! In an earlier one, he opens up a train car and steps into an old movie set. It's opening oner across a soundstage is pretty mundane, but still cool, compared to these scenes. The Italian scenery is splendid, as you might expect. On the soundscape, Nicholas Britell's score perfectly accentuates the film with abundant sentimentality. Yeah, I think I said enough.

No, really, I think I said enough. If you've got the patience, check this movie out. It might make for great company on a slow day. It might give you a few things to think about. It certainly did for me.

Five Nights at Freddy's 2

 Who's ready for Freddy again?

A few years ago, the haunted animatronics of Five Nights at Freddy’s conquered the box office just like they did the video game world. They’re back in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, once again directed by Emma Tammi and written by series creator Scott Cawthon (who, this time, is working solo).

It’s been a few years for us, but it’s been a year since Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson), his sister Abby (Piper Rubio), and Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), had their Five Nights at Freddy’s. Since then, Abby has taken up robotics so she can fix her haunted animatronic “friends,” whom Mike repeatedly promised to fix. Vanessa, meanwhile, is haunted by her murderous father William Afton’s (Matthew Lillard) legacy. That legacy is now folklore celebrated in the first ever "FazFest."

It turns out that the first film's Freddy Fazbear's Pizza is a franchise location. This film immediately opens on the premiere location, where Afton, the proprietor, kills his first victim, Charlotte Emily (Audrey Lynn Marie). A few TV Ghost Hunters accidentally awaken Charlotte's spirit, which now haunts the locale's exclusive animatronic, the Marionette. She can wirelessly control her fellow animatronics - including shinier "Toy" versions of the main four - but none of them can leave the building. At least, until they trick Abby into helping them. So, it's up to the adults to quell Charlotte's murderous wrath.

Anyone who felt that the original film's scares were sedate can rejoice. This is a noticeably spookier film, with more suspense and jump scares centered around its supernaturally mechanical terrors. A particular highlight is the Ghost Hunters' fatal trek inside the original Freddy's. You’ll be on edge as you await the Ghost Hunters’ impending doom, and your dread will be handsomely rewarded. The Marionette is wonderfully nightmarish, as are her “human puppets." I've noticed that some critics were underwhelmed by the ghostly effects for the human puppets, but I thought they were great. It helps that I was in the front row.

Jim Henson's Creature Shop once again works their animatronic magic here. The Toy mascots are just as appealing as the original four, who show up to save the day. It's especially striking when Toy Freddy walks around FazFest all nice and shiny, even if the "nice" part is debatable. The animatronic suits used for the Toys, as well as their "withered" alternates, are animatronic marvels. Their version of Foxy, a misshapen creature called Mangle, is their greatest achievement. They look great, and thanks to a great voice cast - Megan Fox as Toy Chica, Matthew Patrick as Toy Bonnie, and Kellen Goff as Toy Freddy - they sound great. 

It slightly falls apart once you think about the plot. It turns out that Vanessa has a brother, Michael (Freddy Carter), who's just as psycho as their old man. Vanessa keeps her evil brother and her friendship with Charlotte a secret around the other Mike. Let's just say the other Mike isn't happy once he inevitably finds out. We spend so much in Vanessa's headspace that we can understand why she's so reluctant to talk. It makes Mike seem unsympathetic to her, especially with what he went through in the first film. Did I miss something? The abrupt ending gives her a raw deal. Meanwhile, the original four are regulated to a Deus-Ex Machina, which makes their sacrifice - long story - fall flat.

What else do we have? A typical game level is distilled into a scene where Mike monitors the Toys' homing beacons. There's even a handy animatronic mask, a valuable tool in the games, that proves surprisingly effective. It's kind of amusing. That Abby's "ghost stories" make her weirdly popular with her class is kind of nice. Her science teacher, Mr. Berg (Wayne Knight) is so unlikable that you won't miss him when he goes, even if his death is that gruesome. Skeet Ulrich puts in a memorable cameo as Charlotte's father, Henry, even if you have to play the games or watch the end credits to fully grasp who he is. Finally, The Newton Brothers return with another wonderfully spooky score, highlighted by their excellent remix of the original film's theme.

If you’re here for killer animatronics, then Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 will not disappoint you. You’ll be shocked and awed as you see what these cuddly monsters accomplish this time. I could've comprehended the ending a little better if a few things were better clarified or expanded upon. Besides Ulrich's cameo, a few more things make the most sense if you've done your lore homework. But I think you can understand about eighty percent of the plot if you haven't. Well, I'll let you decide if you want to watch it. No harm if you do, except maybe on your nerves...

Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan: At A Confessional

Let’s wrap up this month the same way it started—on Amazon Prime. And - what do you know? - it's a live-action movie based on a manga! It's a reversal of the last review, I know! Let's get to it.

Today's subject is Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan: At A Confessional, based on Hirohiko Araki's spin-off of his magnum opus, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Before it became a long-running TV anime, the main manga was adapted into a direct-to-video anime series, a few video games, and an anime movie that disappeared once it left theatres in 2007! This spin-off, meanwhile, became a live action show a few years ago, and this is its second movie.

Like the show, this movie pretty much divorces itself from any Jojo lore. You don't need to know anything about the main franchise going in, but I'll still fill you in. Our hero, going by western name order, is Rohan Kishibe (Issey Takahashi), a supporting character introduced in the fourth arc, Diamond is Unbreakable. He's a manga artist who can turn people's faces into open books and even rewrite their personalities, all with the command "Heaven's Door!" In the manga, this is attributed to his "Stand," a personified fighting spirit practically everybody has. Here, there's no explanation, except for maybe an innate peculiarity of his. It's still understandable, though.

This time, Rohan is in Venice to speak at a cultural event. He's even ahead of schedule, much to his beleaguered editor Kyoka Izumi's (Marie Iitoyo) dismay. While hanging around a church, Rohan accidentally takes confession from a masked man, which forms the bulk of the movie. As a young man, the stranger indirectly killed two men - a homeless guy named Sotoba (Shigeyuki Totsugi) and his own assistant. His victims now haunt him as vengeful ghosts, who curse him with lucky streaks that end in tragedy. The curse even extends to the man's daughter, Maria (Tina Tamashiro), who is about to marry a rich guy named Lorenzo Grimani (Andrea Bellacicco). The curse rubs off on Rohan, so he decides to rewrite this ghost story.

How about we start with the positives? For starters, Takahashi's performance nails Rohan's eccentric sassiness. In his first scene, he gets really defensive when two guys accidentally belittle his profession. It's just his luck, perhaps, that they turn out to also be pickpockets. He's an oddball, but he's still a good man, which he proves by getting involved with the masked man (I'm neglecting to name his actor because of spoilers). His protestations, like "I don't create works to hang them in museums" is pretty ironic considering Araki's manga artwork has featured in museum exhibits, even in the Louvre!

He's got a pretty good supporting cast. Kyoka, meanwhile, is pretty likable, especially as she tries to cope with his eccentricities. Her buoyant chemistry with Rohan makes perfect sense once you realize Takahashi and Iitoyo got married last year! Maria, meanwhile, is quite sympathetic, while Lorenzo's admiration for Rohan is quite infectious. It's quite a relief that Maria doesn't fall for her father framing Lorenzo for cheating. The climax sees our heroes, save Kyoka, use a pretty ingenious scheme to save Maria from the curse.

Now for a few others. We've got some good location filming by cinematographers Shigeru Tajima and Shuhei Yamamoto. It's nothing groundbreaking, but it's still appealing, nonetheless. There's something nifty makeup work involved with Rohan's open-book powers, as well as the two ghosts. The ghostly villains are perfectly sinister, as is their victim when he's overcome with madness. A scene where Sotoba possesses a young Maria to humiliate her dad is very disturbing and overlong, though it's alleviated somewhat by the old man's overacting. I was quite impressed with the various twists in the old man's story. 

The only thing I truly hated about the movie is the score by Naruyoshi Kikuchi, who scored the live-action show. Kikuchi composed it with generative AI, which is apparently the first soundtrack to do so. Once you hear it, you'll pray it's the only one. I can infer he was trying to accentuate the creepiness, but his soundtrack is mostly an atonal mess. The score during Maria's possession made that scene more unbearable than director Kazutaka Watanabe intended to. Thankfully, we get a few scenes where the soundtrack isn't that painful or overly bizarre, and those especially stand out. One of them highlights the opera Rigoletto, which is thematically important to the plot.

If not for the score, then Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan: At A Confessional would make a good starting point into its main franchise. If you're able to tune it out, then all the power to you. Otherwise, I can recommend you partake in pretty much anything else. Did you know that Araki's original manga spin-off has its own anime? You can try that! I think I said enough.

Fuuto P.I.: The Portrait of Kamen Rider Skull

 We now bring you an anime film based on a live-action show. I’ve usually covered live-action films based on anime, so this is a rarity.

One of the Kamen Rider franchise’s most popular iterations is 2009’s Kamen Rider W - which, due to Japanese wordplay, is actually pronounced Kamen Rider Double. Years after it signed off, series head writer Riku Sanjo and illustrator Masaki Sato created a manga sequel, Fuuto P.I. That led to a TV anime, and a theatrical prequel, Fuuto P.I.: The Portrait of Kamen Rider Skull. That movie is what I’m looking at.

In the original show, a new type of criminal terrorized the eco-friendly city of Fuuto. Thanks to the evil Sonozakis, they transformed into monstrous Dopants using Gaia Memories - something between flash drives and steroids. Detective Shotaro Hidari, and his sidekick, “Philip,” used their own Gaia Memories and their belt-worn “Double Drivers” to fuse into Kamen Rider W to fight the Dopants.

This time, Shotaro tells his origin story to Tokime, a new character from the manga. As a boy, Shotaro met “hard-boiled” detective Sokichi Narumi, who fought the Dopants as Kamen Rider Skull. After much prodding, Sokichi took on Shotaro as his apprentice. One night, Shotaro trailed Sokichi with a peculiar briefcase. This case put them in the Sonozakis’ crosshairs, as well as introduce Shotaro to his other half.

As a prequel, it’s a decent showcase of Shotaro and Sokichi’s relationship. You gotta admire Shotaro as he spends years appealing to the gruff Sokichi, finally succeeding when he takes a beating from thugs. You’ll feel proud for him, and later, a bit sad, whenever he wins the “old man’s” approval. You’ll get a sense of the main series as you learn about the Sonozakis, as well as Sokichi’s main contact, Shroud. The last-minute cameos of the manga's villains, STREET, provide vague, yet surprisingly understandable, tidbits. A few things, like the nature of the Double Drivers, are left for you to wholly guess on your own.

This film runs 82 minutes, and the two-in-one Riders first meet more than halfway through. Fortunately, you'll also get to understand their relationship pretty well. Shotaro initially doesn't trust Philip, who helped indirectly create the Gaia Memories, and blames him for the Dopants' crimes. Philip defends himself with some surprisingly reasonable gun control analogies. Shotaro starts to trust him because Sokichi does, recognizing him as an innocent victim of the Sonozakis. It's pretty nice when they finally bond, but it's quite splendid when they debut as Kamen Rider W. 

This is the first film of Studio Kai, a relatively new anime studio, and it's a good debut. The Kamen Riders look marvelous in animation, especially when they're this vibrantly rendered. Kamen Rider Skull looks appropriately menacing as he spouts his catchphrase, "Now, count your sins." The fight scenes not only look great, but they sound great with Kōtarō Nakagawa & Shuhei Naruse's jazzy score. It helps to have some formidable villains, and we get some with the perfectly freaky and downright menacing Dopants. The Antlion Dopant, for example, is a bit villain, but you'll hate him before he's out of the plot. 

If I have any complaints, it has to do with main villainess Saeko Sonozaki. Her Dopant form, the Taboo Dopant, can't move her mouth, much like her live-action counterpart's suit. It's a bit odd, considering the change in mediums. But it's still a minor complaint. As another positive, her sister, Wakana, makes quite an impression with her limited screentime. Let's just say it's not a good one. It might be intentional.

This movie actually premiered this time last year in Japan. It only became available to stream on Crunchyroll, which also streams the series, just a few weeks ago. It's better late than never, I guess. I think it'll satisfy anyone curious about Kamen Rider W, or even its source franchise. Fans will surely be excited to see some old favorites in a new medium (kind of). It's ready to play when you're ready to ride.

Rental Family

 Hey folks!

Are you lonely this holiday season? Do you need dinner guests on short notice? Are you and your family not on speaking terms? Well, you can rent someone to fill the void with our Rental Family service! I can tell you all about it through the movie all about it!

Seven years ago, American actor Phillip Vanderploeug (Brendan Fraser) moved to Japan to film a toothpaste commercial. Since then, his personal and professional lives have been stuck in Tokyo. One day, he’s hired to play a “sad American” for what turns out to be a mock funeral. That’s just one service Shinji (Takehiro Hira) provides with his company, Rental Family. Shinji retains Phillip as the “token White guy.”

Phillip’s job is to “sell emotion” to their clients. For one job, he’s a journalist covering retired actor Kikuo Hasegawa (Akira Emoto), who is growing senile. For another, he’s helping his “daughter” Mia (Shannon Mahina Gorman) get into a major private school. Phillip gets personally drawn into these clients’ lives, which fills his emotional void while he fills theirs. How long can he keep this up?

Director Mitsuyo Yamazaki, professionally known as Hikari, only has one feature film (37 Seconds) and a few shorts to her credit. But chances are, you won’t forget her after this film, which she and 37 Seconds DP Stephen Blahut co-wrote. Its acting is subtle compared to the sentimental and moving score by Jonsi & Alex. That's not to say it gets over-the-top, but those scenes are intentional. In one scene, Shinji plays Yakuza and dresses down a disgraced businessman; he really sells it to the poor guy! Shinji is also involved with one of the film’s best twists.

Best of all, the screenplay lets you understand everyone. Kikuo wants to escape his daughter, Masami’s (Sei Satobu), watchful eye and flee to his hometown. Hitomi (Shino Shinozaki), Mia’s mother, is desperate to secure her daughter’s future. Mia's first reaction to meeting her "father" is to storm off. Phillip’s breeches of ethics are born out of his loneliness and personal regrets. Nobody in this cast is obtuse or unlikeable but are at worst incredibly flawed. Everyone has pretty good chemistry, but Phillip and Mia's relationship is the most delightful. You wouldn't want the worst for any of them.

One of the other significant subplots involves Phillip’s co-worker, Aiko (Mari Yamamoto), who specializes in playing the other woman. She ends up facing the wraths of numerous housewives. One can’t help but question how Shinji would allow this; Phillip, at least, questions it. But I would imagine it's indictive of Shinji's socially awkward professionalism. You’ll definitely cheer inside when she leaves her latest client to his wife’s wrath. She and her co-worker, Kota (Bun Kimura), later get Phillip out of a legal jam, which is Kota’s only significant scene.

There's nothing fake about this movie about fake relationships. Everyone in the cast, especially Fraser, works from a truly amazing screenplay. I didn't expect to feel much from Rental Family, but I felt a lot after its 110 minutes were up. This might be a new holiday classic in the making, even if it's not set during any holidays. There's nothing left to say but to see it soon.