The Ribbon Hero

 The Ribbon Hero, which premiered last weekend on Netflix, is loosely adapted from the manga Princess Knight by Osamu Tezuka - the most important manga creator who ever lived. How does it live up to its pedigree? 

ACT 1

Sapphire, the Princess of Silverland, escapes with her retainer, Zirco, when it’s destroyed by a Nergal. They’re giant monsters who spread a rainbow mold and serve the ominous King of Ash, who’s kind of an evil God. Nobody dares defy the King, for they all fear his wrath.

They arrive in the neighboring Kingdom of Goldland, where a local girl, Pine, takes them in and helps them find work at a crystal mine. A Nergal shows up, and Pine falls into a crystal pool, from which she emerges as a super heroine - The Princess Knight - who drives off the Nergal. The populace sees Sapphire as their prophesied Angel of Hope. The Pope refuses to believe that it’s her, partially out of xenophobia. His top-enforcer, Velvet, eventually helps Sapphire fight the monsters. But will they be ready for the final fight?

ACT 2

The narrative, which is broken up into seven - seven! - acts, complete with a theatrical curtain transition, goes really fast. Silverland getting destroyed in the first minutes is the start, in more ways than one. What I described in the summary is just under an hour of screentime! Character progression for a few supporting players, like Velvet and Sapphire’s fellow miner Chorogy, fluctuates. The exposition dumps can sometimes be overwhelming. The final boss fights take up almost an hour of runtime. That ending also takes a strange and meta-fictional turn.

The most annoying thing is that the conflicts mostly and repetitively go like this:

I wanna help! I have the power!

Well, you can’t.

Why not?

You just can’t.

It’s kind of like a TV show speed-run, if you catch my drift. And no, I don’t mean the original anime, as its plot is fundamentally different.

ACT 3

Sapphire is a likable enough heroine. She’s courageous, selfless, and occasionally goofy (though not without cause). She’d be compelling if it weren’t for the uneven screenplay, but at least she ain’t boring or obnoxious. Zirco is fine, but Pine stood out better for being just a ray of sunshine. Amongst their fellow miners, we have Hecate - the only other character name I recognize from the source material - the cool big-sis type; Rock - a recurring character from Tezuka’s other works - the cool dude; twins Chick and Tack, both of whom are just there; and Chorogy. Chorogy’s cowardly behavior is tolerable, while his death is particularly underwhelming (his last words, a weary “you’re kidding,” sum it up).

It was hard to get a read on Velvet, at first. Is he a good guy? Is he a jerk who enforces the theocracy? He kind of switches between being both. Thankfully, it’s quite welcome when he solidifies into an ally. He’s consistently more likable than his boss, who insists on sacrificing soldiers and orphans for the King of Ash. Said King finally shows up in the last half-hour, and he’s not much of a presence. In fact, he and his Nergal are just generic doomsday villains.

ACT 4

For the most part, the character designs by Kei Mochizuki & Issei Arakazaki eschew Tezuka’s Disney-esque artstyle for their own modern one. Sapphire, while virtually unrecognizable, is memorable on her own terms. Part of it is due to her oversized hairbow, the source of her powers, and her actual Princess Knight look. Her compatriots, such as Rock, Hecate, and the twins, are recognizable enough. Zirco, meanwhile, is perhaps closest to Tezuka’s artwork. 

These characters inhabit a world visualized with a vivid color palette and production design. The various locales, whether it be Silverland, Goldland or the Nergals’ sanctum, are all splendid. Even the Nergals’ rainbow mold, which is mostly forgotten about once Sapphire becomes Princess Knight, is effectively eerie. Sapphire’s magical abilities, such as her swan transformation, are pretty nifty. She gets plenty of usage out of them during each exciting battle scene. The closest point-of-comparison I have to its visual style is the series Kill la Kill, but they don’t share any staff.

ACT 5

The Nergals, as well as their King, are visualized with some rough CGI. They look like something from the turn of the century, and yet, they aren’t too intrusive. Maybe because they’re supposed to be eerie things. Meanwhile, the film sometimes switches animation styles at semi-random, such as rendering Sapphire’s post-debut heroic montage as a puppet show.  If I’m annoyed by it, it’s because I’d rather see her heroics as they happened.

And finally, there’s a pretty great score by Ryuichi Takada & Satoru Kosaki. Even if the exposition is a bit much, at least their score is nice to listen to. The battle music are the obvious standouts. The sound mix made it a bit hard to listen to the dialogue, though I wonder if I need to adjust my TV (which I finally figured out how to do recently).

ACT 6

Princess Knight is a feather in the cap of its legendary creator. I don't know if The Ribbon Hero will be the same for director Yuki Igarashi (the Lop & Ocho episode of Star Wars: Visions), but for what it's worth, it's still an interesting watch. While the story isn't perfect, its narrative themes are pretty admirable. Check it out if you're curious; what else can I say?

Spider-Man: Brand New Day

  Spider-Man: Beyond the Spiderverse, the finale of the animated Spiderverse trilogy, is supposed to come out next year. In the meantime, you can catch Spidey with Spider-Man: Brand New Day, his latest live-action MCU entry. Judging by the record box-office, chances are you already have.

So, what can you expect if you haven’t?

After the multiverse fiasco last time, nobody remembers that Peter Parker (Tom Holland) ever existed. His alter-ego, Spider-Man, however, is NYC’s most-beloved superhero. He works well with the NYPD, particularly with detective Jean DeWolff (Liza Colón-Zayas), but not so much with the more violent vigilante, Frank Castle/The Punisher (Jon Bernthal). His former friends, MJ (Zendaya) and Ned Leeds (Jacob Batalon), are living their best lives. He’s just stuck in his.

One day, Spidey discovers that somebody can psionically body-hop across the city. This stranger drives, by proxy, a stolen tank into the Department of Damage Control, where they release super villain Mac Gargan, aka The Scorpion (Michael Mando). They’re apparently looking for something, or someone, and Spidey has to find out what it is before anyone else gets hurt. 

And, while this is going on, Spidey’s powers go haywire. His Spider Senses are unbearably boosted, and he can now fire webs from his wrists, rather than from his traditional web-shooter gadgets. It seems that he’s becoming more spider than man, and perhaps a visit with Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) can help him out. But he’s not going to like Dr. Banner when he gets angry.

This brand new day features a new director (Destin Daniel Cretton) with a returning composer (Michael Giacchino) and writers (Chris McKenna & Erik Sommers). As with Jon Watts before him, Cretton finds a right tonal balance between Spidey’s two lives. As fun as the action and jokes are, it’s at its most riveting as Spidey reconnects with Ned and MJ. It’s quite shocking when Spidey’s new antagonist spoils a compelling rooftop scene between Spidey and MJ. On the bright side, there’s Spidey’s public adoration, plus the implication that there is a way around Dr. Strange’s memory spell.

Should I try to keep who Spidey’s new foe is a secret? Marvel made an effort to keep it so. But it’s been out for a while, so I’ll just say who it is - Jean Grey (Sadie Sink). I’ll keep her true motive a secret, but I’ll just say it’s pretty understandable. What’s a bit less understandable is some of her pettiest actions (like forcing her psychic proxies to jump to their doom, even with Spidey around). It doesn’t mesh well with her otherwise anti-villain role. Still, her snapping and psychically freezing the city is fairly consistent with the eventual Dark Phoenix of past films. That’s why it only bothers me “a bit” rather than “a lot.”

Holland’s still great as Peter and Spidey, and so is just about everyone else. Zendaya and Batalon are still a great duo, even if MJ and Ned can’t remember Peter. Bernthal, as Frank, is a gruff guy with a good heart. Him realizing that he’s fighting the Hulk is hilarious; the hints of his dark and troubled past are not. The usually R-Rated Punisher does pretty well, I think, in this PG-13 setting. Mando, who last appeared in Spider-Man: Homecoming, makes the most of his screen time as Gargan. Marisa Tomei, whose Aunt May died last time, has a few strong scenes with Peter. Colón-Zayas, whose DeWolff is a pretty significant supporting player in the comics, makes for a great friend on the force. Tramell Tillman is decently insidious as the true villain, Bill Metzger. 

And finally, there’s Ruffalo as Dr. Banner and The Hulk. After almost a decade of the refined “Professor Hulk,” Jean inadvertently brings back the familiar “Savage Hulk” when she proxies him. It’s a bit disappointing to see this character development undone, but it also makes some sense. Between this and Spidey’s mutations, it’s arguing that forcibly suppressing one’s nature is dangerous. I admit that it does it well. Now, how will future films handle this change?

As with the previous films, this Spidey is still a visual and audio Marvel. The opening montage, where Spidey handles an assortment of comic book foes, such as Tombstone (Marvin “Krondon” Jones III, his Spiderverse voice actor) and Boomerang, is pretty neat, even if said foes barely feature beyond it. A few more visual highlights include Jean’s psychic breakdown, as well as the final battle with The Hand ninja clan. Special notice must be given to the elaborate choreography for Jean’s body-hop victims. On the audio level, there’s Spidey heightened Spidey-Senses, Jean’s psychic powers, and Giacchino’s score (though that’s a given).

You probably don’t need my persuading to see Spidey’s Brand New Day. So, I think I’ll do something odd - suggest that you also find time for a smaller film (I’ll let you pick). This film’s record box-office is nice, but as with its star, it can’t carry the world alone. I think I said enough.

Assassination Classroom the Movie: Our Time

 Assassination Classroom, by Yusei Matsui, has been frequently banned by school libraries across America, largely due to its seemingly alarming premise. Trust me, it makes much more sense upon further scrutiny.

Both the manga, and its associated anime, ended in June 2016. There was a pair of live-action movies before then, as well as a pair of anime movies afterward. This year, for the show’s tenth anniversary, there is another - Assassination Classroom the Movie: Our Time. Let’s examine this premise.

So, in the show itself, a yellow Octopus monster blows up more than half of the moon. If he’s still around by the following March, he’ll blow up the Earth. He, and the Japanese Government, task Kunugigaoka Middle School’s Class 3-E, aka the Losers’ Class, to kill him. The monster, dubbed “Koro-Sensei,” is not only inhumanly fast and durable, but is actually a lovable goofball and extremely invested teacher.

It probably comes as no surprise that they eventually pull it off - with the show’s waifish protagonist, Nagisa Shiota, landing the killing blow. In this movie, with fifteen days until Judgment Day, Class 3-E looks back on some of their misadventures with Koro-Sensei. It’s not merely a simple clip show, as its most substantial segments adapt certain manga stories the anime’s 47 episodes didn’t cover. So, we watch Koro-Sensei -

1.- help aspiring artist Sosuke Sugaya pursue his craft - with an unconventional canvas.

2.- help valedictorian Meg Kataoka persuade her “friend,” Kokona Tagawa, an aspiring swimmer, to stop mooching off her.

3.- help class Casanova Hiroto Maehara get back at a manipulative ex.

4.- help Maehara make up with classmate Hinata Okano after a disastrous Valentine’s Day.

5.- help Azusa, a terminally ill pub owner, shake off the Yakuza.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this Koro-Sensei is quite the helpful monster. No wonder the class is pretty hesitant to kill him. I think you’ll get that point even if you haven’t watched the anime.

It’s technically not much different than the anime. It’s got nice colors, fine music, and some decent animation. I know, I pretty much said the same about Miss Kobayashi, but it also applies here. Its clip show structure has me thinking, of all films, Heathcliff the Movie, which is an odd point-of-comparison. Granted, how it revolves around never-before-seen events, unlike Heathcliff, is an interesting conceit for a clip show movie. The whole narrative experience, however, feels more like an extended episode of the show than a conventional film. It may be 82-minutes, but the frame device’s general uneventfulness causes it to drag.

Any highlights? Irina Jelavic, a fellow teacher and professional assassin, gets pranked by Koro-Sensei and Sosuke in the first segment. You’ll just have to see how she gets the last laugh. Koro-Sensei’s unconventional swimming lessons for Kokona in the second segment are interesting, to say the least. It’s interesting to watch Class 3-E organize the “revenge” on Hiroto’s Ex and her new boyfriend like an actual military operation. The fourth segment is okay, but the fifth is the film’s most compelling (plus, it has a twist that I really didn’t see coming).

Besides Koro-Sensei, who else does the class have? The highlighted students are interesting enough, as are Nagisa and his two closest friends, Kaede Kayano and Karma Akabane. You’ll need a guide to figure everyone else; thankfully, the third segment has captions identifying the others. Lest you feel bad for Hiroto’s ex, she actually gets her boyfriend and his buds to beat up Hiroto just for being nice to her. Azusa, and her daughter, Hotaru, could probably carry a whole movie by themselves. The Yakuza goon who threatens them is so grotesque that he’s unbearable to look at. Futoshi, a seemingly dimwitted assassin who frequents the pub with three of his buddies, is more bearable. 

If anything, this movie is just for those who want to see this cast one more time. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if Our Time is your first time with the cast of Assassination Classroom, you’ll feel like you’ve missed out on a bit. I suggest you watch the show, then slot this movie in around Episode 42, and you’ll be set. You can do both with Crunchyroll. I'm kind of interested in the live-action films now, but I think I said enough.

The Odyssey

 Does Christopher Nolan need an introduction at this point? His name is a brand, as Oppenheimer’s box-office and Oscar success illustrates. He knows what he’s doing, even if it takes a few viewings to learn what it is. 

And now, we have what I consider his most surprising film - his take on The Odyssey. I simply didn’t expect he’d take on one of antiquity’s most important narrative works. But this is the man who thoroughly examined Batman through three films. He’d probably find a way to examine Odysseus (Matt Damon).

He does. He does it well.

After ten years of fighting the Trojan War, Odysseus, King of Ithaca, wins it by way of the Trojan Horse. All it cost was a brave soldier, Sinon (Elliot Page), and Odysseus’s mortal soul. Having violated Xenia (“Zeus’s Law”) with the ruse, Odysseus and his men get divinely sidetracked on the way home. When the story opens, Odysseus is the lone survivor of his crew, trapped for seven years with the nymph Calypso (Charlize Theron). He tries to remember everything that’s happened so far.

Meanwhile, back at Ithaca, Odysseus’s wife Penelope (Anne Hathaway) and their son, Telemachus (Tom Holland), host a whole bunch of her suitors who have long overstayed their welcome. When Telemachus leaves to learn about his father, the suitors’ ringleaders Antinous (Robert Pattinson) and Polybus (Corey Hawkins) decide to get rid of him on the road. Odysseus can save the day only if Calypso lets him leave…

About the only thing you might find odd about it is Xenia itself. How is the Trojan Horse supposed to be hospitable? Why didn’t Penelope just throw the bums out ages ago? In the case of the Trojan Horse, just remember that they said it was a peace offering, and you’ll be fine. The suitors, meanwhile, don’t look like the kind of guys who’d take it on the chin. Those things aside, this is probably Nolan’s most narratively straightforward film. You can understand most of it in one go.

Where do I even begin with this cast? What a bunch they are! Perhaps I can start by saying that Damon is great as Odysseus. I can say that he’s quite compelling as a shell-shocked veteran, an arrogant fool, a confident trickster, and a noble family man. Then, I can say that Hathaway does an excellent job conveying Penelope’s pent-up frustration with her situation. Next, I’d say that Holland’s pretty good as a young king coming into his own. Pattinson’s Antinous had me thinking the whole movie of Joaquin Phoenix’s Commodus in Gladiator. He’s a perfectly detestable creep all the way through …

Oh wait, I’m doing that already!

Going down the cast list, Samantha Morton’s Circe is loathsome, oddly sympathetic, and downright disturbing all at once. All of this in technically one scene! Elliot Page’s Sinon is an excellent face of the human cost of war. Charlize Theron’s Calypso is surprisingly graceful when Odysseus breaks her lotus spell. Himesh Patel, as Odysseus’s second-in-command Eurylochus, is especially sympathetic when his loyalty sours.

The film’s most compelling performance belongs to John Leguizamo, whom I didn’t initially recognize at first as Eumaeus, Odysseus’s loyal swineherd. It’s so rewarding to see him, after years of getting abused by the suitors, join in on the final melee.

And finally, we have Lupita Nyong’o, double cast here as Helen of Troy and her twin sister, Clytemnestra. She doesn’t have a lot of screen time, as either character, but she’s undeniably a highlight. Despite Helen’s husband, King Menelaus (Jon Bernthal) insisting otherwise, their marriage post-Troy isn’t rosy. Her pent-up disdain for him is palpable, and justifiable. You’ll be with Clytemnestra when she kills her husband, Menelaus’s brother Agamemnon (Benny Safdie). Agamemnon, meanwhile, is repulsive, even as an otherwise pitiful shade.

This is one of Nolan’s best sound-mixed films. Sure, you can actually understand the cast amidst Ludwig Gorranson’s thundering score, but you won’t forget its sound effects. There’s the thundering roar of Polyphemus the Cyclops (Bill Irwin), an excellently realized digital monstrosity. A few arrow shots leave a mark. The aural highlight is Odysseus plucking his bow with an unearthly resonance just before the final melee. Jennifer Lame’s editing marvelously builds up the suspense before Odysseus attacks. 

The makeup and visual effects work is nothing less than extraordinary; they really come together when Circe molds the crew into pigs. The other monsters, like Scylla and the Laestrygonians, are marvelous. I don’t know how accurate Agamemnon’s Darth Vader armor is, but Hoyte van Hoytema filming him outside Troy like a demon is undeniably cool. Overall, the visuals are exquisite.

To make a long story short, check out The Odyssey. I think it does right as a psychological examination of Homer’s most famous work, just as much as The Dark Knight Trilogy did to Batman. If not, there are several other versions of this story. Just keep in mind that it’s a long film. 

Evil Dead Burn

 Once again, I’ll open up a review with Tolstoy’s opening to Anna Karenina: “happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Some fight over souffles, while others get gradually possessed by demons. Guess what kind of family is in Evil Dead Burn?

On the night of his brother, Joe’s (Hunter Doohan) birthday, Will Price (George Pullar) argues with his wife, Alice (Souheila Yacoub), and speeds off into the night. He literally runs into a Deadite, one of the titular Evil Dead, who supernaturally ensures his fiery demise. Will emerges as a Deadite - though he’s kept off-screen until the finale - at the crematorium and possesses his dad Edgar (Erroll Shand).

Meanwhile, Alice joins the family, which also include mom Susan (Tandi Wright), Grandma Polly (Maude Davey), and Joe’s girlfriend, Thya (Luciane Buchanan), at their Lakehouse. Susan and Edgar’s misdirected resentment towards Alice gets worse when Edgar goes fully Deadite. As the others gradually join Edgar, Joe and Alice search his grandpa’s possessions for the Kandarian Dagger, the one weapon that can easily kill the Deadites. Alice, though, will have to use it.

If you haven’t seen the previous film, Evil Dead Rise, or even Sam Raimi’s original trilogy, then you’re in luck. Grandpa Price’s (Michael Hurst) voiceover explains just enough about what everyone will face for the next 110-minutes. As long as you understand the Evil Book that summons evil dead, and the magic dagger they want to destroy, you can jump in and not miss much. You won’t be lost if you don’t know who the first Deadite is - it’s Jessica (Greta van den Brink, tagging in for Anna-Maree Thomas) from Rise. While the Deadites’ victims join them, the unlucky crematorium worker who meets Deadite Will doesn’t. That’s the only confusing part.

Remember how I said the dagger can easily kill the Deadites? Well, that’s because the violence here isn’t that easy. In fact, it gets sadistic as the humans and Deadites meet some over-the-top bloody deaths. Director Sébastien Vaniček (Infested) keeps the infamously “Video Nasty” style alive and well with each and every brutality and fatality. The impact is hardly diminished by any obvious CGI, especially during Deadite Will’s long-awaited appearance in the climax.

If sadistic violence isn’t your thing, then perhaps you might enjoy its dark comedy. Will’s funeral, for starters, is frequently interrupted by the sounds of an adjacent construction site. Afterwards, the senile Grandma Polly acts as the film’s comic relief, always ready with an out-of-place comment or two. Her obsessively accusing Thya as a thief even flummoxes her as a Deadite. It’s kind of disappointing that she goes Deadite, but she’s just as funny afterwards, especially with how Joe defeats her (sort of).

Other than Max (Dax) the dog, Polly is probably the nicest of the Prices by default. Will doesn’t endear himself to the audience in his short time alive, and we gradually see how bad he was by the time he debuts as a Deadite. Susan & Edgar are unpleasant folks who brush aside Will’s abusiveness, but even they have understandable excuses (traumatic family history; a Deadite). Joe, the decoy protagonist, is so milquetoast that he’d sorely disappoint the franchise’s most famous one, Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell, who has a quick photo cameo). Thya gets brutally shortchanged by the narrative, as she’s just there.

While Alice isn’t as quotable as Ash, she’s no less compelling a heroine. Even without the Deadites, her being stuck with her ex-husband’s generally unpleasant family is a horrific prospect. When she finally arms herself, she proves herself just as formidable as the repeatedly aforementioned Ash. It’s glorious, and even funny, as she goes to town on the Deadites. She suffers especially brutally when she fights Deadite Will, but her victory is all the more impressive. I just hope it won’t be for naught once the in-production Evil Dead Wrath finally releases.

Vaniček’s technical prowess is just as impressive as Raimi’s. Cinematographer Philip Lozano’s outstanding work is best exemplified when he follows Alice crawling from a chaotic battle around her. Polly going Deadite is dramatically powerful, even if it's slightly silly as she rises like a bedsheet ghost. Editor Maxime Caro keeps us glued during a particularly tense dinner, which ends with the most shocking fatality. As with the violence, a few smash cuts are anything but subtle. As for other visual aspects, the Lakehouse is believably rundown, while most of the Deadites are believably disturbing. The aural landscape is accentuated by a perfectly eerie sound-mix and score by the duo Double Danger. I think the results speak for themselves.

A film about domestic abuse and terrible in-laws is usually hardly appealing. But Evil Dead Rise is an exception, thanks to its compelling Final Girl and its wicked sense of humor. I think this might be an interesting, to say the least, film to watch this coming Thanksgiving, and all to follow. While I skipped Rise, Burn interested me enough in Wrath, whenever it comes out. I hope the interest lasts by then. 

If it's still not to your liking, then maybe the muses can sing in me a more appealing tale next time...

The Invite

 The Invite, Olivia Wilde’s third film as a director, is the fifth remake in six years of Cesc Gay’s motion picture, Sentimental (aka The People Upstairs), which was based on his stage play The Upstairs Neighbors. How does it fare this time? How does it fare at all?

Joe (Seth Rogen) and Angela (Wilde) have a lot to talk about. He’s a former musician and current music professor, while she’s an art major and stay-at-home mom. With their daughter away at a sleepover, Angela sets up a dinner party with an upstairs couple, Hawk (Edward Norton) and Pina (Penelope Cruz), who have kept Joe up all night with their nightly activities. During the fateful dinner party, the other couple invite their neighbors to join in. It’s delightfully weird, until Joe & Angela’s marital troubles boil over. I think that’s it.

Oh man, Will McCormick & Rashida Jones’s screenplay is loquacious. It seems like barely a second goes by without the characters saying something. More often than not, all that crosstalk is as hilariously awkward as the evening’s events, which include a burnt souffle, which Angela casually throws away, and a wasted charcuterie. It barely lets up when it goes from farcical to psychological. While the film only credits Sentimental as its source, its wordiness, it only being set in Joe & Angela’s apartment, and its small cast give away its stage origins. Silence does speak a few notable times, including the ambiguous finale, but they’re still accompanied by Dev Hynes’s moody score.

Throughout the evening, your sympathies might shift a lot amongst Joe & Angela. Sometimes, you'll like Joe as he deals with his bad back and Angela's sudden dinner party (that she claimed she told him about months in advance). Later on, you'll also hate him after he makes a repulsively entitled outburst at Angela (and sympathize with her). Their negatives and positives balance each other out. By the end, even after they & Pina conclude that their marriage is unsalvageable, you'll still hope that they might. Pina is not only fun and energetic, but as a therapist, she is also the voice of reason Joe & Angela sorely needed. Hawk is a cool guy, despite him being unintentionally condescending, and you'll definitely feel for his sad backstory. They present themselves a perfect couple, but you'll eventually learn that's not the case. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night.

When Hawk & Pina arrive, it's in the middle of an argument between their hosts. Hawk assures them, despite the awkward introduction, that "we love a contentious environment." Well, if you love an environment filled with the wittiest double couples' therapy since Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, take The Invite to your local cinema. It's quite worth it.

Yeah, it's a surprising conclusion, but between its dysfunctional couples and the dysfunctional family who features in my next review, you might enjoy the couples better.

Moana - Again

 Today, I get to review a remake of a film I’ve already reviewed!

I’m old.

Because Disney felt that it wasn’t enough for Moana to sail the CGI seas, they fast-tracked her a voyage across the CGI seas … in live-action form! Yeah, it’s kind of pointless this soon, which I already complained about, but it’s shockingly decent. Let’s see if I can explain why.

If you’ve seen the first film, then you’ve seen this one. All the songs, pretty much all the dialogue (with some additions here and there), and the twists are where they are. I’ll just link you my review from a decade ago; what can I say except you’re welcome?!

But seriously, the film doesn’t deviate exponentially from what Jared Bush and the numerous story writers charted out a decade ago. During its 115-minutes, eight minutes more than the 2016 original, its most original scene is a montage where demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson, in-person this time) re-accumulates with his magical fishhook. This gives space for a new song, Along the Way, by original songwriters Lin-Manuel Miranda, Opetaia Foaʻi and Mark Mancina. I can at least say the music, new and old, all sounds great.

Catherine Laga’aia, who plays Moana herself, has particularly strong vocals for How Far I’ll Go, the first film’s Oscar-nominated “I Am” Song. She and Johnson are pretty good, even if their live characters are nowhere near as animated (ha ha) as their CGI counterparts. Grandma Tala (Rena Owen), on the other hand, is just as delightful as her animated counterpart. As with the first film, Tamatoa (Jemaine Clement, again reprising the role), the monster crab, provides a musical and action highlight with his song Shiny. For a photorealistic behemoth, he’s not as unnerving as Heihei the scatterbrained chicken.

Besides its movie bonus song, there’s also Production Designer John Myhre and Costume Designer Liz McGregor to consider. They visualize Moana’s home village of Motonui with a splendid attention to detail. It may not be as bright as its animated counterpart, but its own color palette’s still appealing. The wayfinding anthem, We Know the Way, and its finale reprise, do a splendid job obfuscating the differences between the practical and CGI canoes on-screen. The ocean is obviously CGI, but it’s still a stellar effect. The best effects, both sound and visual, belong to Te Ka the fire demon and her true identity, Te Fiti the creation goddess (statute of spoiler limitations is over).

As a remake, Moana’s story is more familiar than it was ten years ago. It could have used a bit more originality than that one scene for the new song. It wasn’t boring, and had fits of charm, so I can’t bring myself to hate it as much as others have. You can see it if you have nothing else to do; I mean, there is a dearth of family films between now and Paw Patrol next month. But if any possible Moana 2 textually adheres to its animated counterpart, I won't be amused. Just bemused.

Next up, a remake of a six-year-old Spanish film. Fun!

Minions and Monsters

 For their latest adventure, the Minions give us the Dungeons and Dragons campaign we never knew we needed. Oh wait, it’s actually their ode to Hollywood, followed by the Dungeon and Dragons campaign we never knew we needed. Let’s see if it’s the one we wanted.

Years before Gru, the Minions (all Pierre Coffin) search for their next Big Bad Boss. A tribe of Minions, whose rank and file include the artistic James, his best friends Henry & Ed, and their leader Dick, find themselves an outlaw to follow. It’s actually a western movie set in 1920s Hollywood. Studio Bosses Frank & Elwood Bright (Jeff Bridges) get the Minions under contract, under the direction of Max (Christoph Waltz). The Minions become the toast of Hollywood until the advent of sound debuts their gibberish.

While Dick and the Minions look for their next Despicable One, James and his friends decide to make their own movie. It will have Minions and Monsters, just like in this movie’s title, and Ed has a Spell Book that can help. They accidentally summon a mini-Cthulu named Goomi (Trey Parker), who leads them to several bigger monsters - Howard (Phil LaMarr), Phillips (Bobby Moynihan) and Eyereen. Too bad they actually want to destroy the world. It’s up to the Minions to save it.

All of this is related by a tour guide (Allison Janney) at a Movie History Museum (probably inspired by the Academy’s Museum). Or, maybe not, as the finale drops a weird surprise. It’s interesting enough, not enough to break my brain - do you know what does?

The setting. It’s most likely 1927, but the Oscars (established in 1929; the nickname wouldn’t be until a few years after that) are name-dropped. The Suffragette movement is still around, years after the 19th Amendment was passed. The sci-fi media of the day looks more like the 1950’s. And that’s not even getting into all the movie references, including Citizen Kane. Wait, what was that about the Suffragette movement?

Dick and the Minions eventually flock around Dort (Jesse Eisenberg), a sci-fi nerd dressed like Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still. Dort falls for Debbie (Zoey Deutch), a Suffragette, and they’re all sweet together. Her cause barely has anything to do, if at all, with the plot. Debbie’s positive influence on Dort, who claims to be an invader, gives her more relevance. Dort helps save the day, so perhaps there is truth to what are ostensibly his delusions of grandeur.

It’s still hard to tell the Minions apart, at times, but this installment has some of their best characterizations. James has a rather compelling arc as he follows his artistic dreams. It gets delightfully silly when he imagines winning an Oscar - a Banana-statue! Henry and James have a pretty good friendship, while Ed is just a fine fellow. Dick is also distinguishable by how detestable he is - even by Minions standards. Their relationship with Max, while initially rocky, surprisingly gets more compelling quickly. He's mostly gone by the second half, but his encouragement of James won't be forgotten. Where have these Minions been this whole franchise?

Now for some other stuff. Dort and the Minions' "invasion" has some surprisingly stunning cinematography. It may be a joke, but they were really that committed. For the opening, the Minions get Gumped into several ancient movies - George Melies and others ancient - and fool around. It's not only seamless, but delightfully silly. Goomi and his Monsters are cuddly enough, though they show up way too late for the narrative. John Powell, at least, illuminates Eyereen's threat rather well with his score. I think I said enough.

Anyone dreading Minions and Monsters can take comfort that it's short - around 89 minutes. They'll go by pretty quick as the Minions do their thing. Other than the Monsters and their delayed introduction, the narrative is well-paced. It doesn't have any lofty ambitions, no allegedly game-changing villains that fall flat, or anything like that. It's a fun matinee, first and foremost, and there's nothing wrong with that. 

Banana!

Supergirl

 Over forty years since she made her big-screen debut, Supergirl made her cinematic comeback in the closing minutes of last year’s Superman. She now headlines the second film in the new DC Universe, which also shares her name. Let’s fly to it.

Kara Zor-El, aka Supergirl (Milly Alcock), and her superdog Krypto are out pub-crawling across the universe for her 23rd birthday. They specifically travel to planets with red suns, where her Kryptonian powers—and thus her alcohol tolerance—won’t work. On one planet, she meets young Ruthye Marye Knoll (Eve Ridley), who is looking for someone to help her find Krem of the Yellow Hills (Matthias Schoenaerts), the brigand who killed her family. Kara’s not interested until Krem steals her ship and shoots Krypto with a poisoned dart. Krem carries the antidote.

With three days to save Krypto, Kara & Ruthye head off to space. They are eventually joined by the bounty hunter Lobo (Jason Momoa), who has his own score with the brigands. The rest of the movie has them pursue Krem and dismantle his human trafficking operation. Kara also embraces super heroics, a bit like her cousin, Superman (David Corenswet). I think that’s pretty much it.

The Tom King miniseries, Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, which Ana Nogueira’s screenplay specifically adapts, was pitched as basically True Grit in Space. While the plots are identical, LaBoeuf & Cogburn’s roles are switched between Kara & Lobo. Krem, obviously the Tom Chaney analogue, is a scumbag, and that’s it. He’s too flat to be memorably detestable. Kara pleads generic platitudes with Ruthye about how killing Krem won’t make it better for her. Is there something I missed?

Throughout the film, we see flashbacks to Kara’s life on Argo City, which temporarily survived the destruction of Krypton. They’re scattered around, but they’re compelling enough as they explain Kara’s cynicism. The best ones show us how she met Krypto during her mother Alura’s (Emily Beecham) funeral. Beecham & David Krumholtz, as Kara’s father Zor-El, are pretty good as the story’s big goods. Their screentime is brief, but they share a few great scenes with Kara. It’s easy to feel bad for Zor-El when he realizes how he accidentally doomed Argo to death by Kryptonite.

Although Kara doesn’t immediately jump in to fight evil, you’ll be glad when she does. That much is obvious when she battles the Skalarians, a trio of space pirates, in an extremely long plot detour topped by a cool fight scene. You’ll easily believe in her goodness when she fights a jerk who steals Ruthye’s treasured sword. Her devastation is palpable when she inadvertently gets a civilian family killed. In the finale, she’s incapacitated by Kryptonite twice (the first time in the form of a green sun!), which is just excessive. Her screentime with Krypto and Superman, while brief, is still enjoyable enough. Overall, Alcock is a good Supergirl with an average script.

Ruthye exposits how Krem murdered “her innocent family” so much that it’s practically her catchphrase. It even annoys Kara at one point, so points on that. Ruthye is mostly fine, but she shines when she breaks herself and Lobo out of a brigand cell. Speaking of Lobo, Momoa looks and acts like the comic character made flesh. In his backstory, according to Kara, he massacred his own planet, but he’s not that dangerous in person. He’s still fun enough. The funniest supporting characters are the driver (Paul Hunter) of the Space Bus the Skalarians hijack, and his miniature assistant (Seth Rogen). 

The most memorable thing about Krem is his space punk aesthetic. He's not alone, as the makeup work is spectacular, whether it's for the eclectic aliens, Lobo himself, or even Kara dying from Kryptonite. Production Designer Neil Lamont and costume designers Michael Mooney & Anna B. Shepherd show off their best work on Argo City. The visual effects are pretty nifty, especially when the planet Barenton is bathed in green sunlight! While I prefer some of Jerry Goldsmith's opulent work for the 1984 film, Claudia Sarne's score is not too bad. The main theme, in particular, is appropriately moody. I didn't object too much to a few needle drops; I'm bringing this up because I've read a few reviews that have.

This take on Supergirl is just fine. It's got some good stuff, including a strong lead, that needed better execution. Hopefully, this is just a minor stumble for DC's new world of Gods & Monsters (that's what they're calling this phase of their new cinematic universe). I'm still waiting for this fall's Clayface, and next year's Man of Tomorrow, so there's that. Perhaps time will be kinder to Supergirl; as of now, it's just a decent afternoon matinee. I think I said enough.

Zombie Land Saga: Yumeginga Paradise

 I promised a SAGA last week, and here it is…

Zombie Land Saga: Yumeginga Paradise debuted in Japanese theaters last October, four years after it was announced. It played last January for one night only, but thankfully, Crunchyroll didn’t drag out the streaming premiere. I finally made time for it last Friday, and you’ll read about it now.

Just over a minute into its first episode, Sakura Minamoto, a plucky high schooler with dreams of being a pop singer, accidentally ran into the path of a speeding truck. A decade later, she and six other young ladies are brought back as zombies to form a pop idol group! Her fellow undeads include biker Saki Nikaido; pop stars Junko Konno & Ai Mizuno; child star Lily Hoshikawa; 19th-century courtesan Yugiri; and Tae Yamada, the only one who is still a mindless zombie. Together, they are Franchouchou, and their mission is to save Japan’s Saga Prefecture from obscurity.

In the movie itself, Franchouchou headlines the 2025 Saga Expo to celebrate the prefecture’s space program. Speaking of space, aliens show up and launch an all-out invasion of the Earth! Tae accidentally gets her human personality back when they abduct her. The other girls are introduced to their now no-nonsense bandmate when she escapes. Tae doesn’t see how a bunch of zombies can help her save the world, but they’ll show her how. Yeah, it’s that type of movie.

The film trusts that its audience has read the show’s prequel manga, Zombie Land Saga Gaiden: The First Zombie, so they’ll fully understand Tae’s vague allusions to her past adventures. Unless, of course, the manga hasn’t been licensed outside of Japan (it's not), or if they haven’t imported the volumes (which I did). There’s not even a flashback to her past life! On a related note, the film mentions that the invaders can’t pick up zombies on infrared, but it takes quite a while before the resistance acts on it. 

In Sakura’s motorized recap, she mentions that it’s been four years since their second season. It’s not just in real-life, but in-universe too, but the characters have barely aged a day. Franchouchou has an excuse but supporting character Maria Amabuki & her two friends don’t. How old are they supposed to be? I should also mention that while it has a great soundtrack, the English dub switches to the Japanese vocals for the songs. It’s kind of disappointing, considering the first season’s songs were dubbed, rather well, for its physical release. Oh well, moving on …

Our seven zombie heroines are as fun now as they were when they debuted in 2018. They’ve all got great personalities - that includes Tae’s two - and it’s delightful watching their chemistry on and off the stage. Tae aside, you won’t be lost if you don’t know how they previously lived and died. Tae probably has the best line in the dub, “No more space guns for you,” thanks to her deadpan delivery. There’s some drama when they, sans Tae, are exposed as zombies. Their witnesses, including Maria, get over it, but there’s more pressing drama that I’ll hint with three words - Flowers for Algernon. Before that, they’re involved in a glorious gag with a burning globe, and a spectacular final battle with the invaders.

Amongst the massive supporting cast, which includes practically everyone who’s ever been on the show, the biggest standout is Kotaro Tatsumi, Franchouchou’s manager. He’s bombastic, obnoxious and a bit of a jerk, but he’s still a good guy. You’ll actually feel bad for him when he breaks down after Sakura and Tae seemingly die for real. The suspense doesn’t last, but it’s still moving. Romero, his zombie poodle, is a lot of fun, as are Franchouchou’s Metalhead fanboys (credited in the dub as Bulk and Skull), and Saga’s Only Cop (“Dirty Harry”). Let’s not forget Reiko and Naomasa, Maria’s parents, who are probably the most serious members of the cast. I can go on, but I’d be here all day.

Zombie Land Saga: Yumeginga Paradise has much of the same heart and humor from its source show in its veins. Those are enough to help me overlook its biggest quibbles. If this had a longer theatrical release, then this would have been the most fun I had at the movies all year. It’s still a lot of fun on Crunchyroll, and if you’re skeptical how this can all work, I invite you to check it out for yourself. I’ve said enough.

Toy Story 5

 How many final installments does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It should take one, while the others just show off by messing with it.

Just when you thought Toy Story 4 was it for Pixar's toys, along comes Toy Story 5. This time, they're not fooling anyone with promises of narrative closure (mostly), as it's kind of obvious this was made for money. Fortunately, it's still a pretty good installment, even if it's not a perfect one.

With Woody (Tom Hanks) off helping abandoned toys, Sheriff Jessie (Joan Cusack) and Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) are now in charge of Bonnie’s toys. Bonnie is the only kid on her block still playing with toys, while everyone else has upgraded to tech. Bonnie joins in when her parents get her a “Lilypad” tablet. Lily (Greta Lee) lords over the toys, especially after she helps Bonnie make “real” friends. 

While trying to spy on Bonnie and her new friends, Jessie and Bullseye accidentally end up at the farmhouse of Jessie's former owner, Emily, now home to the Manoukian family. Blaze Manoukian (Mykal-Michelle Harris), who’s slightly older than Bonnie, has both horse toys and tech toys. In the latter category, we have Smarty Pants the toilet trainer (Conan O’Brien), Snappy the Camera (Shelby Rabara) and Atlas the GPS (Craig Robinson). Jessie enlists them to get her & Bullseye home.

What else do we have? Throughout the film, there’s an army of updated Buzz Lightyears marching around for reasons. They’ll become relevant later. Woody visits his old gang and teams up with Buzz to try to save Jessie. Bonnie’s new friends aren’t nice, so the toys decide to help her meet Blaze. Lily tries to stop them, for a while.

Unlike some other toon sequels, this one tries a bit harder to tell a meaningful story. Andrew Stanton, the longtime series co-writer and now also-director, and Kenna Harris, his co-writer and co-director, focus much of it on Bonnie. You’ll spend most of her plotline feeling bad for her as she gets cyber-bullied - and lightly teased in person - by her three false friends. She’s so dejected by them that she declines Blaze’s friendship until the very end. Well, better late than never, for Blaze is a delightful character. 

Oh yeah, there are toys in this story, too. Jessie, much like Woody in the last film, struggles with feelings of obsolescence. Anyone who’s seen Toy Story 2, or knows of it, will know exactly what I’m referring to. She gets some much-needed closure when she finds a certain time capsule. Buzz spends most of the film crushing on Jessie, which gets a nice payoff in the climax. Woody and the veteran toys are here probably because it wouldn’t be Toy Story without them. Woody rallying the updated Buzzes probably could’ve been handled by classic Buzz himself. The others provide some good quips here and there, but that’s it.

The new tech characters are pretty good. Lily, our advertised main villain, spends most of her time looking down on the toys. Her ego’s pretty entertaining, but it gets creepy when she starts texting as Bonnie. She starts to redeem herself when she realizes that she indirectly hurt Bonnie and later gives the Buzzes their biggest relevance. Smarty is surprisingly not that gross, considering what he is. He and his pals are fun, even if their introduction sidelines the looming plot of tech replacing toys for “the tech and the toys can be friends.” It's a bit of a letdown, though it's admittedly a topic with no easy answer. 

Oh, and while not tech, extra funny points must be rewarded for naming Blaze’s pet pig Jimmy Dean. Even Jessie gets the reference.

It’s a Pixar movie, so of course the animation’s good. The climax is pretty thrilling, thanks to the Buzzes’ big surprise, but the best animated work is with the sequences that visualize the girls’ playtimes. The vivid colors and surprisingly elaborate plots go great together. While Randy Newman provides another fun score for the series, he let Taylor Swift & Jack Antonoff compose the central song. I Knew It, I Knew You plays in the end credits, and it’s another fine addition to the series’ song catalog. I wouldn’t be surprised if, following Newman’s nominations for each of the previous films, Swift gets her first Oscar nomination here.

Toy Story 5's main draws are, theoretically, the toys, but I found myself more interested in the humans this time. It's such a relatable story, especially for those who were shy kids growing up. If it does win the Animated Feature Oscar, much like its predecessors, then that would be why. But like any old toy, its main characters are still fun to be around even if they're showing their age. Have fun; I sure did.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

 Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid: A Lonely Dragon Wants to Be Loved, premiered in Japanese theatres this time last year. It ran stateside for one night only last October, and although it allegedly premiered on Netflix not long after, I never found it. So, when it suddenly showed up on Crunchyroll this past weekend, I made plans for it. 

And off we go …

As told in Cool-Kyou Shinsha’s manga, Kobayashi (no first name given), was a programmer who went on a drunken hike in the mountains. She ends up pulling a sword out of a dragon, who shows up at her apartment in human form. Her name is Tohru, and she’s now Kobayashi’s maid. A few other dragons, also in human form, show up, and some of them move in with Kobayashi and Tohru. That’s kind of it.

The titular Lonely Dragon isn’t Tohru, but her youngest flatmate, Kanna Kamui. One day, her absentee father, General Kimun Kamui, shows up looking for her. Rather than catch up on lost time, Kimun wants Kanna for the “Dragon Orb” she absorbed into her person. It’s a powerful MacGuffin, with which he can help his Chaos Dragons win the war against their rivals, the Harmony Dragons.

Kobayashi can tell a lousy parent, at least by Earth standards, when she sees one, and refuses to give up Kanna. Kanna, however, acquiesces for her daddy’s approval. Kobayashi and the others go after Kanna when they find out that Kimun’s advisor, Azad, is up to no good. Did I also mention that Kobayashi is adept at magic? She is. And how will Kanna's new smartphone play into the plot?

You probably know what to expect if you’ve seen Kyoto Animation’s TV anime. Technically, it’s not much different than the show, which you’ll notice during flashbacks. Between both mediums, the character designs are cuddly, the color palette is pretty, and the music is nice to listen to. The show’s staff is retained for this production, which includes first season director Yasuhiro Takemoto’s - a casualty of the 2019 arson - honorary credit as “Series Director” (Tatsuya Ishihara is the main director here). About the only thing I disliked was the pitch of Tohru’s energy blasts, which sounds like someone mashing a high-pitched keyboard. It was a bit unbearable, but thankfully short.

This is Kanna’s movie, so let’s discuss her. She barely emotes, not even when she plays with her bestie, Riko Saikawa, which is weirdly amusing. Less amusing, however, is her relationship with her dad, which gets her beyond dull surprise. You’ll feel bad for her when she tries to reach out to Kimun, who sees her as an ally, not a daughter. Kimun’s personality, which I’ll touch upon soon, complicates this relationship, especially when Kobayashi knocks him and Azad out with a Spirit Bomb (long story). You don’t need to know the manga’s story - which the movie adapts one volume of - to be moved by the finale, though. 

Try as I might, I couldn’t necessarily bring myself to hate Kimun. Granted, Kobayashi and the others have a point when they criticize his parental skills. But at his worse, he’s more of a naive dolt than a callous monster. He’s also surprisingly friendly, allowing Kanna and Kobayashi to write to him regularly (even if he fails to grasp their points). He starts to redeem himself when he saves Kanna from Azad after the latter’s scheme is exposed. And then, there is the finale. Maybe I’m reading him wrong, but that’s what I thought about him.

Amongst its large cast, a few discernable dragons include Lucoa (a gender-flipped Quetzalcoatl); Fafnir (a game obsessed butler dragon); and Ilullu (one of Kobayashi's other flat mates). They're all quirky, but you will need a character guide to fully grasp them and their human companions. You'll have little trouble understanding Miss Kobayashi and her Dragon Maid, even if they aren't truly the main characters. They're quite likable together, and especially with the other dragon girls. Kobayashi cleverly exposes Azad to the warring dragons by putting Kanna on speaker, while Tohru gets a fine post-climax battle with Azad. It's quite amazing to watch them throw down against evil.

Oh, and what about Azad? It doesn't take much to peg him as the villain, even before we see how he is. He's got a sad backstory, but a bit of an underwhelming defeat. I'm not annoyed, as he shows up later in the manga, and might get some more time to shine. When's the third season coming?

I'm kind of late reviewing it for this Father's Day, but I'm sure it'll be there for the next one. You won't need a crash course in lore to understand its central family story. Just some understanding. In any case, why don't you check out this movie, and its associated anime? There's a lot to love about them, aesthetically and narratively. I'll let you decide the order you watch them.

Oh yeah, and before the month is out, you'll get a review for another Crunchyroll anime movie that dropped last weekend. It's quite a SAGA ...

Disclosure Day

 It’s time for the other D-Day.

That’s right, it’s time to disclose what I thought about Disclosure Day, Steven Spielberg’s highly anticipated sci-fi movie. What’s going to stop me from revealing the truth? It’s not like I’m going to step on any government conspiracy. Let’s go and  …

Did I walk into Street Fighter?

Those were my actual thoughts. Why so? Well, it’s because we’re opening with a cage match, where Dr. Daniel Kellner (Josh O’Connor) is in the audience. Daniel, a cybersecurity guy, has stolen top-secret files from the shadowy Wardex Corporation, and he’s here to exchange them for his nabbed girlfriend, Jane (Eve Hewson). They instead flee with the files, with Wardex CEO Noah Scanlon (Colin Firth) and his goons in pursuit.

It turns out that Daniel has evidence of alien life on Earth, dating back to the Roswell crash of 1947. He plans to make it all public, which would hopefully avert an increasingly likely World War III. When Margaret Fairchild (Emily Blunt), a Kansas City weatherwoman and emergent psychic, suddenly speaks in alien tongues on the air, he's the only one who can understand it. They eventually find each other, and together with Wardex defector Hugo Wakefield (Colman Domingo), they set out to make Disclosure Day a reality.

David Koepp’s screenplay, working from Spielberg’s own screenstory, slowly unfolds Daniel’s mission like it were a mystery. Granted, we already know what it is, considering that’s the premise, but there’s a nice level of intrigue as we wait for him to reveal it. A close comparison is Jurassic Park, which Koepp also wrote, and which slowly built up the dinosaur park as a reveal. What I’m trying to say is that the pacing, particularly in the first act, is pretty good. It’s nearly a half-hour longer than Jurassic Park, though, and you’ll gradually start to feel it.

The screenplay also indulges in some flying leaps in logic. Take Hugo’s part in the story, for example, as he spends most of his plot replicating Margaret’s childhood home as a film set. It’s part of an elaborate plan to help jog her childhood memories, but he doesn’t know she’s the one until her viral newscast. Keep in mind the plot spans about two days, and the set building probably would’ve started much earlier. There is a possible answer, who shows up at the literal last minute, so it’s not much help. A few re-watches, though, might help one understand it all.

Between the leads, I found Margaret to be the more compelling one. Sure, Daniel is an upstanding guy and a bit of an optimist (considering the premise), but Margaret’s uneasy discovery of her powers makes her relatable. Blunt gets a really well-acted scene when she panics in a train car filled with pianos. Yes, really, and this is after Scanlon’s top henchman Boyd (Henry Lloyd-Hughes), tried to ram them into that train. It's quite remarkable to watch her assert herself, as an anchorwoman and as a person, during the film. On the subject of anchoring, real life reporter-turned-actress Courtney Grace has the film’s best performance as an NBC Anchor who tries to hold it together when she reports on the Disclosure.

Throughout the film, Scanlon and Daniel have access to alien devices that seemingly let them do whatever the plot needs them to do. Scanlon uses it to talk to Jane via astral projection and drive her to try to kill Daniel. It’s a neat prop, even if we have to infer how they work, while the cast just knows right away. It gets contrived when Margaret figures out the backup generator function in the finale. Though, it does lead to some great comedy when Margaret cloaks the set, just as Wardex breaks in, and the agents stumble around it. 

Scanlon, meanwhile, is an interesting enough villain. He's determined to maintain the big secret, not just for the government, but to assuage his own fears. Basically, "What if Disclosure makes it all worse?" Hugo is basically the counterpoint, which he argues with Scanlon in their one scene together. We see him overwhelmed at one point during his interrogating Jane. When his last-ditch efforts to sabotage the broadcast fail, he just sits down as if to say, "what's the point?" It’s another great performance from Firth, and I do have a quibble about his character that I’ll have to bring up in the next paragraph.

Margaret, as part of her powerset, can appear to anyone as someone special. In Scanlon's case, it's his late wife Jocelyn (Lucy Taylor), whom the film barely explores. That's my quibble about Scanlon, but Margaret's seamless psychic shapeshifting represents the best of Sarah Broshar's (succeeding the now retired Michael Kahn) editing skills. She further shines during the action scenes, as well as the Disclosure Day broadcast. The sound designers, visual effects team, cinematographer Janusz Kaminski, and John Williams (who needs little elaboration), deliver their usual greatness. I think I said enough.

Disclosure Day, for whatever flaws it has, is an earnest film. Improbable? Yes. Abruptly ends? Yes. But the climax is assuredly optimistic. You can't accuse it of faltering, or faking, its beliefs. Overall, it's an interesting companion piece - or a spiritual sequel - to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I'd rather let it disclose a few more secrets to you personally. It's worth the trip.

The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act

 Step right up, step right up, and come witness the grand finale of the indie animation sensation! Sure, you can pay nothing to watch it for free in about a week, but you can pay more to see it on the big …

[Annoying Narrator Program Off]

In layman’s terms, The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act pieces together the eighth episode of the YouTube series, which premiered in March, along with the ninth and final episode, which premieres independently next week. Now, how about we explain the premise?

Think of it as a cutesy take on I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Basically, a few humans are trapped as cartoony CGI avatars in the titular game and are forced to participate in whatever crazy adventure their AI ringmaster, Caine (Alex Rochon), has in mind. They can’t leave and they can’t die, but they can “abstract” into glitches if they mentally break. This unfortunate ensemble consists of Gangle (Marissa Lenti), the timid artist; Zooble (Ashley Nichols), the jaded cynic; Kinger (Sean Chiplock), the eccentric genius; Ragatha (Amanda Hufford), the cheerful one; Jax (Michael Kovach), the sarcastic jerk; and Pomni (Lizzie Freeman), the newcomer.

When Episode 8, hjsakldfhl, opens, they’ve about reached their breaking point. Caine, however, has completely cracked and takes it out on the cast. Kinger is actually one of Caine’s programmers, so he tries to quell his creation’s digital wrath. He accidentally deletes Caine, which actually makes things worse. Oops.

During the main event, which is currently untitled, the cast tries to carry on without Caine. When Jax finally cracks, Pomni tries to help him. This involves exploring Jax’s tragic backstory within and without the digital circus. The troupe gets help from an unexpected source and discover some big secrets. I think that’s it.

Caine provides a handy “Amazing Digital Recap” for those going in blind. That way, you’ll understand just about everything except the creepy talking fish in the pre-film intro. That fish featured in the seventh episode, which I only found out just now. It was intentionally designed to look crummy, but it especially looks unnerving up-close - I was in the second-to-front row. The upside is that it’s kind of funny, especially as it gives the uninitiated thirty seconds to catch up on the show. Just thought you should know.

The fish also said not to spoil anything, but I kind of already did. It’s hard not to, considering that the main event revolves around Jax. His ultimate fate has been met with a divisive reaction online, and if I have any issue with it, it’s how he cracks off-screen. It’s kind of an abrupt fate for one of the show’s most popular characters. The subsequent journey into his psyche is where we learn his full story. It’s not hard to pity him even at his most reprehensible.

Amongst his castmates, Gangle and Ragatha get the least focus, but their personalities shine enough. Zooble, meanwhile, gets some story relevance as we see how their friendship with Jax deteriorated. Kinger, as the main character of episode 8, is pretty compelling as he regains his bearings (even if it goes wrong). Finally, it’s easy to gravitate to Pomni due to her empathy. It’s saved her castmates multiple times across the show, which makes it rewarding when they save her. There's an impressive amount of work to visualize their cuddly designs. Ragatha's fabric, for example, looks realistic. Just keep in mind the cartoony body horror ... some of which is funny.

Surprisingly, however, I found Caine to be the most compelling character. Instead of being monstrously cruel, ala I Have No Mouth’s AM or even Terminator’s Skynet, he’s just as neurotic as the others. He legitimately doesn’t understand why his cast resents being stuck with him. About the only one who tolerates him is his assistant, Bubble (voiced by series creator Gooseworx), but he’s an AI too. Before long, he goes from despair, to anger, and even self-reflection (I think I spoiled again). It’s fascinating to watch an “evil AI” humanized like this. On a lighter note, his default personality is as fun to watch as it probably was for the animators to animate.

What else do we have? Gooseworx, amongst her many hats, also composed the music with Evan Alderete. They both helped compose Hazbin Hotel, another YouTube cartoon success, which has a pretty dynamic soundtrack (especially helpful for a musical show). No surprise that the music here is just as good. Caine's musical number, with lyrics by Hazbin alumnus Dave Capdevielle, is visually impressive, but my theatre's speakers overwhelmed the singing. When Episode Nine opens with a reprise of the Pilot's opening, the lack of Caine's narration is so unnerving it's kind of funny. 

The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act might not be to everyone's liking. I've already mentioned the issues with Jax's ending, but then we have the reveal of just who everyone is. That one, I think, makes pretty good sense, but you'll have to see it for yourself. All in all, I was invested enough in the cast to stay through the (relatively short) credits. I think you might be too.

Masters of the Universe

 By the Power of Grayskull, I have the Review!

He-Man, that gloriously cheesy 80s superhero, made his live-action debut in Masters of the Universe. Nearly forty-years after Dolph Lundgren wielded those fabulous secret powers, it's now Nicholas Galitzine's turn to do so in … Masters of the Universe.

Our hero, Adam, is the prince of the magitek world of Eternia. He practically lives next door to Castle Grayskull, where its Sorceress (Morrena Baccarin) keeps custody of the all-mighty Sword of Power. One night, Skeletor (Jared Leto) and his Evil Warriors take over the planet. Adam reluctantly flees to Earth with the sword, but he loses it in transit.

Years later, Adam (Galitzine) works a soul-crushing job at an HR firm. He finds the sword at a comic shop, along with some trouble. Fortunately, his childhood friend Teela (Camila Mendes), the adoptive daughter of Duncan (Idris Elba), the royal Man-at-Arms, whisks him away back to Eternia. There, he has to persuade his band of Heroic Warriors to join him in battle. It gets slightly easier when he figures out how to use the sword to morph into He-Man. But even the most powerful man in the universe can lose…

Director Travis Knight and his multiple writers relish how silly the property is. Characters like Ram Man (John Xue Zhang), Mekanek (James Wilkinson) and Fisto (Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson) receive their questionable nicknames from a ten-year-old Adam. Nobody besides Adam tries to question the obviously evil Skeletor’s reason for being. There’s even a jab at the Sword of Power’s basic name. The film wants us to laugh with stuff like this, not at it. In fact, when they’re accentuated by Daniel Pemberton’s score, these aspects swing back to awesome. His theme for Adam’s first morph, in particular, is truly awe-inspiring.

Let’s get one cast member out of the way - Jared Leto. In House of Gucci, his cartoonish Paulo was too much for that film. As Skeletor, an actual cartoon bad guy, he fits right in. It’s glorious to watch him go all out as the biggest, baddest guy of this universe. He’s petty, sadistic, and delightfully macabre all the same. He’s even kind of pitiable when he confesses his inadequacies to Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie), his right-hand woman. One of the film’s best jokes comes when he psychically tortures Adam near the third act. You might not think it’s funny after you read that sentence, but it is. You need to see how.

Of course, a great villain needs a good hero, and Galitzine is it. His Prince Adam is quite likable, both as a normal man and as a He-Man. It’s not hard to feel bad for him as he tries, in vain, to explain his heritage to his elementary school class and a blind date. When Teela gets him, he’s all enthused to prove the naysayers right (even if the crowd lacks said naysayers). We’re right with him when he finally becomes the embodiment of positive masculinity. Lundgren, in his cameo as a gym “Macho Man,” symbolically passes the torch to Galitzine with his every line. His final battle with Skeletor validates the endorsement.

Let’s talk about some of Adam’s allies. As Teela, Mendes has good chemistry with Galitizine, while Elba’s bombastic performance as Duncan is a sight to behold. Adam’s actual father, King Randor (James Purefoy), barely shares any screentime with young Adam - it ain’t heartwarming - before Skeletor shows up. This kind of dampens the gut punch of his eventual death - thought not by much.  The film could have also used a bit more of Cringer (Tom Wilton/Fletcher Glenn), Adam’s green tiger, especially his first morph into He-Man’s steed, Battle Cat. The Sorceress is surprisingly funny, while Kristin Wiig is a surprising choice as the voice of Roboto the battle droid.

Now, let’s behold the Power behind the scenes. We’ve got some great action scenes to let the Heroic Warriors cut loose. The makeup designs for both evil and heroic Eternians are pretty creative ones. They were so good, in fact, that I mistook Skeletor and Trap Jaw (Sam C. Wilson) as fully CGI creations. Their CGI augmentations, like Skeletor’s head, were all seamless. Production Designer Guy Hendrix Dyas, and the visual effects team, give us a fabulous rendition of Eternia. Costume Designer Andrew Sales does a pretty good job translating the toyetic characters into live-action form. And finally, Brian May augments Pemberton’s score with some unforgettable riffs.

I think it's best if you check out Masters of the Universe for itself. It's a live-action cartoon, and if that's all you want, you'll bask in its Power to entertain.  It's quite long, at 140-minutes, but the time mostly flies by pretty fast. The other issues I've mentioned are minor gripes, at most. All in all, it's best Power is the ability to appeal to one's inner child, even those who didn't fully grow up with the franchise. See it soon to see what I mean.

Oh, and if you want a thinking cartoon, I've got one next.

Pressure

 Pressure came out over a week ago, but because it was about D-Day, I held off watching it until last Saturday, the anniversary of D-Day. Sure, I could have had it watched and reviewed by last Saturday, but I wasn’t under that much pressure.

….

Let’s dive right in.

It’s 72-hours before the Allies start storming the beaches. Group Captain James Stagg (Andrew Scott) is summoned by General Eisenhower (Brendan Fraser) to help man his weather team. He and Col. Irving Krick (Chris Messina) - Eisenhower’s favorite meteorologist - are tasked with monitoring the English Channel. They need to confirm sunny skies - or close enough - before Eisenhower declares D-Day on June 5th …

Yes, June 5th, as that was when D-Day was supposed to be. Krick is certain it’ll be sunny by then due to historical weather patterns. Stagg, who prefers to observe in real-time, sees a major storm brewing. Ike, meanwhile, needs a clear answer sooner rather than later. His secretary, Captain Kay Summersby (Kerry Condon), is mostly there to help cool heads prevail. You can probably guess how it’ll turn out, and which weatherman is correct.

Its historical angle is perhaps its most interesting aspect. I mean, how many of us thought about the meteorological planning that went into D-Day? Or that it was delayed by a day? Or the contributions of James Stagg? It was just a subplot in The Longest Day, which I admittedly haven’t seen before, but it’s now the main plot here. I probably have forgotten studying that aspect in school, if at all. I probably won’t anymore.

So, how does it go from a subplot in one movie to the main plot in another? Well, the cast argues a lot, that’s how. Krick boasts about forecasting clear weather during the shoot of Gone with the Wind. Stagg is so annoyed that he doesn’t bring up the Battle of Mount Sorrel until a late reveal. It’s kind of easy to lose focus during all this repetitive arguing. At some point, I wondered how it would translate into a stage play, only to discover during the credits that, yes, this was a stage play (by David Haig, who adapted it with director Anthony Maras). Thankfully, it’s only 100-minutes long, so it’s not too stretched out. Plus, there were a few good lines.

Now, for a few issues. The film opens up with the aftermath of Exercise Tiger, a D-Day rehearsal that went horribly wrong. That's all we know about it, but Ike is haunted by it just the same. While this lets Fraser humanize Ike rather well, I wish the film elaborated on it. I couldn't bring myself to dislike Krick, despite him being the antagonist. For one thing, you kind of feel for him when it starts raining on the 4th. His involvement with Gone with the Wind is a neat anecdote, even if it bugged me when he said the Burning of Atlanta scene was in July 1939 (it was actually in December 1938!). Stagg worrying about his wife, Liz's (Tamsin Topolski) fate is more compelling than the weather arguing. I think that's about it.

There's some good location filming at Mentmore Towers, which stand in for the Allies' HQ at Southwick House. Its depiction of Exercise Tiger's aftermath is appropriately horrific and unforgettable. Its visual effects work, whether they involve a weather balloon popping in orbit or D-Day itself, is splendid. Some of the sound team's best work is featured in the D-Day's climactic kick-off; not far behind is the storm on June 4th. Also noteworthy are its colorized restoration of World War II stock clips, and another perfectly intense score by Volker Bertelmann. 

Pressure is more of a history lesson than a thriller. Its conclusion is foregone, but its central anecdote is interesting, as are a few names that the story left out (like Svere Petterssen). All that talking pays off once you see D-Day in action. If anything, it might be a good prompt to learn about D-Day for yourself. Of course, it might not be long before it gets crowded out of theatres. So, see it soon if you want to see it big.

No Pressure...

Backrooms

And now, we get to Backrooms, the film version of the Internet urban legend that Kane Parsons made famous with his YouTube videos. At twenty-years-old, Parsons is now the youngest filmmaker to top the box-office. Want to know more?

What are the Backrooms?

I'll let this anonymous post, from the notorious message board 4Chan, explain what we're dealing with here. It's got a vivid way with words:

If you're not careful and you noclip out of reality in the wrong areas, you'll end up in the Backrooms, where it's nothing but the stink of old, moist carpet, the madness of mono-yellow, the endless background noise of fluorescent lights at maximum hum-buzz, and approximately six hundred million square miles of randomly segmented empty rooms to be trapped in

God save you if you hear something wandering around nearby, because it sure as hell has heard you

And the Technicals?

While the YouTube Backrooms were visualized with Blender, the cinematic ones were visualized on actual sets by production designer Danny Vermette. As the cast walks through them, you’ll share their dread as they anticipate whatever may lurk around the corner. And yet, you’ll be oddly fascinated by this seminal liminal space. The otherworldly images captured by cinematographer Jeremy Cox, even in the real world, will be etched into your mind. An excellent sound team amps up the off-screen violence and electrical ambience rather well. There’s also a perfectly eerie score by Parsons and Edo Van Breemen to set the mood. I’ll talk about the visual effects later …

What about the plot?

In this scenario, concocted by Will Soodik, the Backrooms are found by Clark (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a down-on-his-luck furniture store manager, in his store’s basement. Clark recruits his only two employees, Kat (Lukita Maxwell) and Bobby (Finn Bennett), to help him explore the world beyond his walls. When the quest goes wrong, Dr. Mary Kline (Renate Reinsve), goes down the rabbit hole. He doesn’t want to leave, and there’s something that doesn’t want her to leave. 

And the cast?

Ejiofor’s Clark is pretty compelling, but not really likable. At all. Clark practically blames everyone but himself for his impending divorce, and he refuses to change by the end. “That’s how we’re wired,” he puts it. He’s still pretty funny in his store’s cheesy commercials, though. His dog metaphor with the Backrooms is kind of odd, but it makes some sense.

Reinsve’s Mary has her own psychological issues, mainly from her rough childhood with her erratic mother (Krista Kosonen). The screenplay, however, leaves those issues disappointingly unresolved. She’s still compelling, however, as she travels the Backrooms.

Meanwhile, Kat & Bobby are a fun duo, which makes it a shame what happens to them. Mark Duplass shows up as Phil, a researcher with the organization ASync. He’s fine, but Avan Jagia is even better as Naren Warne, an ill-fated colleague in the prologue. 

And finally, we come to the Still Lifes, the Backrooms’ distorted recreations of certain humans. While most of them are harmless, Clark’s Still Life, representing himself as his store’s pirate mascot, is the main monster. One can hopefully assume that Robert Bobroczkyi was cast as “Cap’n Clark” specifically for his massive 7’7’’ frame. The CGI augmentations used on him and the other Still Lifes are unbelievably seamless. While we're at it, I can assume that some CGI was used for the deepest parts of the Backrooms. 

Should I See It?

You'll have to work out the mechanics of the Backrooms along with its cast. The denouement barely scratches the surface of what it is, which considering all the lore being created for it, is pretty appropriate. This makes it an oddly good starting point for this world. So, yes, it is worth a trip. Unlike the actual movie, safety is guaranteed. I think I've said enough.

Obsession

 This summer, two horror movies by YouTube personalities have topped the box-office. Both easily made their budgets back within days. And I’m late to reviewing both of them. Let's first check out America’s newest horror obsession… Obsession.

Its aforementioned personality, Curry Barker, and this film’s co-star, Cooper Tomlinson, front the channel that’s a bad idea. His debut feature, Milk & Serial, debuted on YouTube just a few years ago. In his theatrical debut, we meet Baron “Bear” Bailey (Michael Johnston) as he’s being coached by best-bud Ian (Tomlinson) on how to confess to Nikki (Inde Navarette), their mutual co-worker at a music store. After he gets cold feet again, Bear buys a “One Wish Willow,” a toy branch that can apparently grant any wish if you snap it in two. He wishes for Nikki to love him, and it works.

Soon enough, Nikki becomes hopelessly devoted to Bear. Her personality, however, becomes increasingly possessive and erratic, to the point that she switches moods in split-seconds. It’s as if she’s been replaced by something that doesn’t even know how to pass for human. That’s pretty much the case, even if the film doesn’t completely spell it out. Sure, Bear likes his new relationship, but if he doesn’t get the curse reversed, “Freaky” Nikki will be the death of him and his friends.

Bear maybe the protagonist, but Freaky Nikki is the real star of the show. It’s surprisingly fun to watch Navarette go all out for Nikki’s mood swings. She spins unnerving monologues about death for minutes, then switch to calm like that. Her often-childish personality seems like a parody of someone like Alex in Fatal Attraction. Late in the film, however, you’re brutally reminded just how much of a danger she is to herself and others. That is, if her fascination with Bear’s dead cat didn’t clue you in sooner. She's an oddly sympathetic "villainess," while normal Nikki is more unquestionably sympathetic.

So, what about our actual protagonist? Tomlinson is so pleasantly dorky as Bear - refer to the opening - that it’s sometimes easy to overlook how morally deficient he is. Any sympathy you’ll have for him after his cat’s death evaporates once he fully comprehends what he did… and he barely cares. Even his ultimate heroic sacrifice is debatably heroic; let’s just leave it at that.

Sarah (Megan Lawless), the fourth member of Bear’s friend group, is significantly more likable. She’s mostly just there to be the cool wing-woman of the group with a little selfish secret. But she’s just likable when she gets to be alone with Bear at one point. Granted, I could tell from a mile away that she wouldn’t survive that scene, but not how suddenly and brutally it would happen. You probably won’t either. 

On a lighter note, Andy Richter also shows up as Sarah’s dad and manager, which is neat. Tomlinson, meanwhile, is fine as Ian, while Barker himself pops in as the voice of the unhelpful rep of the Willow’s makers. 

Now, we get to the technical stuff here. Cinematographer Taylor Clemons truly shines, ironically enough, when he obscures Freaky Nikki in shadows. One of her earliest scenes has her eyes seemingly glow in the dark. Special attention must be given to the makeup team that helped Navarette blend in with the dark. Barker, as the editor, usually leaves the camera running for quite a bit (sometimes more than anyone would ever want to see). These images are set to an unforgettably ominous score by Rock Burwell.

Just recently, Barker just finished his second professional feature, Anything but Ghosts, which sounds like a modern riff on those Golden Age supernatural comedies (or it might not be funny at all). I’m ready to see that, whenever that is. That anticipation goes to show how good a professional debut Obsession is. I think you might agree too. See it soon.

The Mandalorian and Grogu

 Welcome back to the Galaxy …

Years ago, when I looked at The Rise of Skywalker, I mused that Star Wars could use a few years of dormancy. Small Screen aside, the franchise is finally back with The Mandalorian and Grogu, the feature debut of the stars of Disney Plus's The Mandalorian. With showrunner Jon Favreau at the helm, this might be the way. 

Maybe.

Din Djarin, The Mandalorian (Pedro Pascal when he’s unmasked; Brendan Wayne or Lateef Crowder when he isn’t, though it’s still Pascal talking), is a bounty hunter cut from the same cloth as franchise favorite Boba Fett. Grogu is a force-wielding moppet from the same species as another franchise favorite, Yoda. Together, they fight the remnants of the Galactic Empire. After a hunt in the cold open, their employer, Col. Ward (Sigourney Weaver) sends him on another. 

Their quarry, this time, is Commander Janu Coin (Jonny Coyne; yes, really). Jabba the Hutt’s twin siblings (whose actors are probably a national secret) know where he is, but they’ll only talk if “Mando” retrieves their nephew, Rotta the Hutt (Jeremy Allen White). Our heroes find Rotta as a gladiator on the planet Shakari, where they conveniently find Coin as Rotta’s handler. It also turns out that the twins want Rotta dead, and they’ve hired the bounty hunter Embo to make it so. Our heroes will have to get out of this somehow, but you know they will.

Obviously, its biggest draws are right there in the title. Mando provides most of the cool action, particularly with his fight with - and even within - Imperial Walkers in the opening. But since Mando is mostly helmeted, Grogu is supposed to be the emotional anchor. I mean, when Mando is incapacitated by the twins’ Dragon-Snake, we’re fully invested in Grogu as he searches for a cure. Despite some emotional suspense, it’s obvious from a mile away that Mando will pull through. Nevertheless, it’s still fun watching the little guy do his thing. It’s also nice watching him and Mando’s surrogate familial relationship play out; it's even funnier considering that Grogu is actually older than Mando!

Let's see who else is in their Galaxy. There's Rotta, who's so buff that he looks like a photorealistic Battletoad. That aside, he's an upstanding guy who gets to showcase his fighting skills a few times. None other than Martin Scorsese also features as Hugo Durant, who helps lead Mando to Rotta. He's so entertaining that I'm kind of disappointed he wasn't in the film a whole lot. Stephen Mckinley Henderson, as the aquatic fisherman Gatori, also makes the most of his limited screentime. Commander Coin is surprisingly funny, while the Twins are perfectly detestable. Weaver is mostly fine as Ward, but just her showing up flying an X-Wing in the climax is just cool. Keep in mind, some of these "new" characters are actually franchise veterans making their live-action/movie debuts. Fortunately, you won't be lost if you haven't kept up with everything ever.

What else can you expect from behind the scenes? As with the show, Grogu was brought to life with some spectacular puppeteering work. It's practically impossible to tell how much of him was digitally augmented, if at all. The obviously digital creatures, meanwhile, are still an interesting bunch. We get to see Rotta battle a bunch in Coin's colosseum, before they turn on the audience (long story). The opening battle is spectacular, even interesting as the Walkers' march along a mountain might make one think of Hannibal's. All the action afterwards is still up to that old Star Wars standard, though it's also a bit overlong. Ludwig Goransson returns from the show to score the film, even giving us a few renditions of the show's opening theme. His work is just as good as John Williams' standards, though I wouldn't bet on Oscar number four here.

The Mandalorian and Grogu begin and end their film the same characters. The same holds true of their Galaxy. This movie is just an adventure for them, and not a narrative progression like the Downton Abbey trilogy. It's also 113-minutes long, which is way too long for a story this thin. But if you're just here for some Star Wars action, as well as its titular characters, you'll do fine. I did fine; how about you?

The Blue Trail

 The Blue Trail, one of five films edged out by The Secret Agent as Brazil’s Oscar entry, is now readily available stateside. Due to Oscar rules, it won’t be in contention for anything next year. Let’s see if you should check it out anyway.

In the not-too-distant future, the Brazilian government mandates that the elderly be sent to elsewhere for the sake of the economy. Nobody ever hears from them again, which is a reasonable cause for concern for 77-year-old Tereza (Denise Weinberg). She's now at the new age limit, which used to be eighty, so she's forced into retirement, placed under the care of her daughter Joanna (Clarissa Pinheiro), and bestowed some patronizing honors. It's only a matter of time before she's bused off to "The Colony."

In the meantime, Tereza decides to go on her first plane ride. But since Joanna won’t let her fly commercial, she resorts to flying illegal. She pays a boat captain, Cadu (Rodrigo Santoro), to take her up the Amazon to an airport in Itacoatiara. Ludemir (Adanillo), her likeliest pilot, is grounded by mechanical and money problems. She finds better luck back on the water with Roberta (Miriam Socorrás), a digital-Bible seller who bought her freedom. She finds temporary freedom with the hallucinogenic mucus of a “blue drool snail.” But there’s still the threat of being sent elsewhere …

Which isn't exactly as prevalent as it sounds. 

One wouldn’t expect a dystopian film to be leisurely, but this one is. There’s no tangible adversary pursuing Tereza, who's mostly impeded instead by obnoxious rules lawyers. While she gets caught midway through, it’s literally clear sailing once she escapes. If the colony has a terrible secret, like in Logan’s Run, we’re never made aware of it. Still, ominous graffiti - one of which reads “Give Me Back My Grandma!” - hints at nothing good, but it is good world-building. But director Gabriel Mascaro is more concerned with Tereza’s personal journey than a broader scope.

And what can you expect out of this journey? For starters, cinematographer Guillermo Garza's work is a delightfully scenic trip across the Amazon. Its most striking images, however, center around its most bizarre turn - a fish fight. Yes, fish fight, which people like Tereza gamble on. Bizarre as it is, you'll be happy with her when she wins big. Further along, we have Memo Guerra's eerily serene score, as well as a quirky ensemble assembled by The Secret Agent's own Gabriel Domingues. There's Tereza, of course, who's quite compelling as she navigates her absurd society. She's pretty good when paired with Cadu, but she's glorious when paired with Roberta. Cadu makes the most of his screentime, but Roberta should have been in the film a bit more. 

I think it's worth going on The Blue Trail even once. Sure, it's only 86-minutes long, which means some concepts and characters aren't fully utilized. But Tereza's personal journey makes it an interesting one. If anything, it's not your typical dystopian film. I think I said enough. 

The Sheep Detectives

Hey, Daisy Mae, you might want to take this one!

Ah, The Sheep Detectives! Don't mind if I do.

Over twenty years since they debuted, the ovine sleuths of Leonie Swann’s novel Glennkill (aka Three Bags Full) are now movie stars in The Sheep Detectives. That's the kind of title that tells ewe what it's all about. Let's see what else it is.

So, we have George Hardy (Hugh Jackman), a shepherd just outside of Denbrook, England. He doesn’t care for most of the townsfolk, but he’s all for his flock. Each night, he reads them a mystery novel, even if they can’t understand a word he’s saying. But amongst themselves, the flock have a lot to say. Lily (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), in particular, is usually on the ball about the killers in each story. But death is a foreign concept for them until the morning they find George dead - actually dead.

As the town's only cop, the inept Tim Derry (Nicholas Braun), gets on the case, Lily leads the flock in their own investigation. Her co-investigators include Mopple (Chris O'Dowd), who remembers everything; Sebastian (Bryan Cranston), the loner; twins Reggie & Ronnie (both Brett Goldstein); Cloud (Regina Hall); and Sir Ritchfield (Patrick Stewart). They've got a few suspects, including Caleb (Tosin Cole); Ham (Conleth Hill) the Butcher; Elliot (Nicholas Galitzine), a visiting reporter; and Rebecca (Molly Gordon), George's previously unknown daughter. Can they help steer Officer Tim to the right one?

One can easily dismiss it as silly fluff - which it is - but they’d be surprised at how poignant it gets. George’s death is an existential shock for Lily, which she can't blank out like most of her flock (and a more cavalier film) could. You'll definitely feel for her as she confronts the truth of the world (which involves another sinister secret). One sheep's death flags are raised from a mile away, but the actual moment still hurts. Still, it gets philosophical and funny when Sebastian talks about God, or when the inquisitive sheep Zora (Bella Ramsey) questions the meaning of life. You'll have to see those moments for yourself.

Its poignancy wouldn't work if we didn't like George. Thankfully, Jackman makes him quite enjoyable in life, and even beyond that (including in Lily's dreams). As for his fellow humans, Officer Tim going from loser to gumshoe is quite compelling, while Rebecca is pretty likable. Denbrook's residents, which also include innkeeper Beth (Hong Chau) and Rev. Hillcoate (Kobna Holdbrook-Smith), are a delightfully quirky bunch. Emma Thompson walks over the scenery as George's lawyer, Lydia Harbottle. As for the killer, they get so much screentime I wonder if Msgr. Knox would cry foul. But I digress.

Of course, the real stars of the show are the flock, and what's more to say? They all have great personalities and voicework behind them. You'd be surprised at how much you can learn about sheep, particularly the differences between spring and winter lambs. How is that relevant? One winter lamb (Tommy Birchall) is ostracized by the flock until he helps save the day. Anyway, this lamb and the rest of the flock were visualized by some very convincing CGI. Not a single sheep is out of place, and it's hard to tell if shepherd Kyle Balda got some real sheep too. Even if you can tell they're computerized, you'll stop caring very early. 

Needless to say, The Sheep Detectives is an excellent murder mystery. Its delightful ensemble of animal sleuths and their ewe-nique perspectives are sure to entertain everyone in your herd. Hopefully, it can follow Babe to a Best Picture nomination at the Oscars and bring a few more names - like writer Craig Mazin and composer Christophe Beck - along for the ride. It's anything but baad. Just flock on over to your local cineplex for a splendid matinee.

 I've said enough.

Wow, you've nailed just about the same points I would have!

Mortal Kombat II

 Who’s ready for more Kombat?!

It’s been five years since Mortal Kombat was given a new cinematic life. It could have been a shorter wait if Warner Bros. hadn't benched Mortal Kombat II from last October to now. Let’s see if the wait was worth it.

After Shang Tsung (Chin Han) spent a whole movie trying to win it by default, the Mortal Kombat tournament officially begins. Thunder God Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) recruits one more Kombatant - former action star Johnny Cage (Karl Urban) - for his roster just before game time. Unsurprisingly, without much prep time, Johnny loses his big match with Outworld’s Princess Kitana (Adeline Rudolph).

Meanwhile, Outworld’s Overlord Shao Kahn (Martyn Ford) plans his own cheating with the help of a magical amulet, which makes him immortal. Naturally, Johnny and the other Mortals have to separate the MacGuffin from this big bad. They get surprisingly good help from Kitana, a double-agent for Raiden, and Kano (Josh Lawson), the newly resurrected lout that had the amulet on him (for reasons). They’ll have to hurry before Kahn can annex Earth.

Kano, who was one of the best parts of the last film, is unsurprisingly one of the best parts of this one. He not only has some of its funniest lines, but he gets its most weirdly fascinating character arc. While he's still an unrepentant lout, he joins the heroes to save his vices from Outworld's nothingness. Yes, it's a selfish motivation, but it's a logical step for this character. As the Kingpin said in the 90's Spider-Man show, "there's no profit to be had in the destruction of the planet." Him complimenting a peach in Hanzo/Scorpion's (Hiroyuki Sanada) afterlife garden further shows a nice side to him.

This time, Johnny joins Kano in all the fun. They’re both funny together, while Johnny’s character arc is decently compelling. He’s a reluctant hero who knows that he’s unprepared for Kombat. But he still wins against the monstrous Baraka (CJ Bloomfield) with such tenacity that he also wins his opponent’s loyalty. While theoretically sidelined for most of the film, he still saves the day spectacularly along with Kano and Scorpion.

Kitana, meanwhile, gets the most substantial character arc here. In the film's most devastating fight, her father Jerrod (Desmond Chiam) was slain by Khan in the final round of a previous tournament. That prologue efficiently sets up the stakes - emotional and narrative - for the subsequent Kombat. So, it's only natural that she gets the final battle with Khan - you'll just have to see how she challenges him. She has excellent chemistry with her best friend and bodyguard, Jade (Tati Gabrielle), but shockingly nonexistent chemistry with her undead mother, Sindel (Ana Thu Nguyen). Sindel mowed down some of Khan's goons in the prologue, but she doesn't get much relevance after that. Why?!

I only saw the first film on HBOMax, which wasn't an option this time. This time, I was right there with an audience that oohed and aahed at all of this film's Fatalities. All the head-smashing, body-splitting and even immolating were clearly digital, but they were still pretty effective imagery. Some of the Kombatants were more compelling than others, but their fights won't disappoint you if that's all you want. Meanwhile, we briefly see a bit of one of Johnny's films, which is deliberately and delightfully awful. Deliberately exquisite, meanwhile, are the cinematography by Stephen F. Windom, score by Benjamin Wallfisch and production design (digital and practical) by Yohei Taneda. 

A more fine-tuned script could have made Mortal Kombat II a flawless victory. Nevertheless, it’s still a well-played game that’s not only a better sequel to a mostly stiff film, but a better Mortal Kombat sequel than Annihilation. To answer my earlier inquiry, it was worth the wait, though I hope they don't make a habit out of it. I'm interested to see what they do for MK3. I think I said enough.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime the Movie: Tears of the Azure Sea

 Do you remember the time That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime got a movie? I do.

It's time for the slime, Rimuru Tempest, to be reincarnated again on the big screen. This one's subtitled Tears of the Azure Sea, and it's just in time for summer. You'll understand the significance in a second.

This time, Rimuru and his retinue fly by dragon to their ally, Elmesia's, island resort. They have nothing to worry about under the sun, except for the occasional nuclear magic strikes on the neighboring undersea kingdom of Kaien. Yes, nuclear magic. But nobody on the island's actually worried about them.

Perhaps the islanders should be worried about Kaien's Great Water Dragon, which can be summoned with a magic flute. Yura, priestess of Kaien, made off with the flute in the cold open. She took it to prevent Kaien's evil ministers, Djeese and Zodon, from using the dragon for evil. Rimuru gets involved when his goblin retainer, Gobta, saves Yura from her pursuers. As sparks fly between Gobta and Yura, the merry monsters set out to stop the conspiracy. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

For those interested, this film takes place between the anime's third and fourth seasons (the latter just premiered last month). You won't be lost too much in its standalone plot, but thanks to Rimuru's opening narration, you'll understand why the franchise got its name (unlike last time). You still need a character guide to keep up with everyone in Rimuru's massive retinue, but you'll do fine as long as you focus on a select few (Rimuru himself, Gobta, the ogres Shion & Shuna, Elyun the elf, Ranga the wolf, and their guest Yuna). There's a bunch of shenanigans amongst the cast - like comical jealousy - before they get involved with the plot. The ministers are stockish, but there's a nice narrative jolt when Zodon double-crosses Djeese. I was practically stunned that there was such a thing as nuclear magic, though I could barely understand who and why kept attacking.

Gobta, who was barely a character in Scarlet Bond, basks in the narrative sun. While the series mostly treats him as a laid-back loser, this film gives the little dude a surprisingly endearing romance with Yura. They have great chemistry, whether it's with them outrunning her pursuers or just sharing a float. And for a laid-back loser, Gobta proves himself a tough little dude in battle.  In fact, they outrun Yura's pursuers so long I almost thought Rimuru and the others would be completely sidelined here. Why shouldn't they be together? It's obviously because it's a filler movie, which the ending painfully (not tragically) reminds us of. 

It's a beach movie, so naturally, the scenery and colors are pleasant. Both the surface and underwater worlds look nice, with a limestone cave being a particular highlight for the former. Most of Rimuru's retinue only stand out during the final battle, and they've got some nifty powers to show off.  The Great Water Dragon is ferocious, even if its personality is generic. Hitoshi Fujima's score is fine, but the most unforgettable sounds come from the nuclear magic strikes. Anyone who knows what to expect from the source anime will also get it good here.

While Scarlet Bond traveled some rough narrative waters, Tears of the Azure Sea is a trip through the shallow end, both in narrative and in stakes. Still, thanks to its quirky cast, it's fun while it lasts. If anything soured me on this movie, it's that the theatre forgot to play any trailers before the movie AGAIN. It's not the movie's fault, though. All in all, this slime time is a good summer matinee time. It'll be a while before it streams on Crunchyroll, so see it soon if you want to. I've said enough.