Mummies

I command thee, oh Mummies, to rise from thy cinematic tomb. Thy North American box-office run ranneth dry, but now, oh Mummies, thy have a chance to regain thy glory with Hulu streaming. Rise! And conquer...

(It hurts my throat to type this...)

In simpler English, Mummies is a Spanish animated film that debuted earlier this year. It was so scarcely distributed in the States that you'll probably first hear about it when you see it on streaming. I, on the other hand, heard about it when it debuted. You'll hear what I thought of it after I saw it on Hulu.

Underneath modern Egypt is the World of the Mummies. There, living mummies live and party like it's no later than 1999 BC. One mummy, Thut (Joe Thomas) is an ex-charioteer living on his past glory. He's accidentally betrothed to no less than Princess Nefer (Eleanor Tomlinson). Both are mutually disinterested in each other, but it's too late, and Thut has to guard a MacGuffin wedding ring with his un-life. But when the living archaeologist Lord Sylvester Carnaby (Hugh Bonneville) steals the ring, Thut, his younger brother Sekhem (Santiago Winder), and Nefer, rush to get it back.

They end up in modern London. They may look normal, but if you shine a spotlight on them, you'll see their true skeletal forms. But that's not much of a problem for them. Did I mention Nefer's an aspiring singer? She is, and she's soon discovered by a music producer, Ed (Shakka), who makes her a super star. Lord Carnaby decides to make the mummies the living stars of his next exhibit. They'll have to walk like an Egyptian real fast back to their world. Hey, the soundtrack includes the song, so it's not a shoehorn.

I can't tell whether this was produced in English or Spanish. The dubbing either way is pretty good for an average kid's film. This was clearly made for young kids with its simplistic story and ample slapstick. Its oldest viewers will greet it with groans at worst or neutrality at best. The groans get louder, for example, when the mummies keep splatting like Ancient Egyptian paintings. Its story is so simplistic it doesn't even dwell on death. It opens on Thut's last race, and we're led to believe he was killed there, but no, what actually happened is anticlimactic. Watch closely and you will know they were in Mummy World the whole time. The climax even gives us a fakeout death cycle in less than a minute.

There are occasional bright spots. Nefer has an "I Want" song that gets interrupted pretty early. She later derails a performance for Aida and her musical duel with the leads is amusing. This is where Ed discovers her, by the way. The film's most appealing character is the sidekick Croc, who's practically a puppy, and is "voiced" like a squeaky-toy. Lord Carnaby is a sinister mommy's boy (Celia Irmie is Mommy Carnaby) and a pretty decent villain, overall. Its animation is decent, and Fernando Velázquez's score gives it a nice sense of grandeur. 

Don't expect to unearth any real surprises with Mummies. Its plot is rather average, but a few characters and moments spark some life into the proceedings. Its 88-minute runtime is a welcome rarity these days. It's a harmless film, so you can see it if you want to. But I've got a better film to tell you about that's on Hulu. That review is coming very soon.