Poor Things

I have a problem. You see, I'm about to review Poor Things, a film that I can't really describe succinctly. Furthermore, it's a film that may involve "sensitive content" (how my 2017 Valerian review got flagged for the same thing last year is an annoying mystery). So, if you can't handle sensitive content or my euphemisms of such ... there's the door.

Let's get started.

Yorgos Lanthimos reunites with a few alumni from The Favourite - writer Tony McNamara, cinematographer Robbie Ryan, editor Yorgos Mavropsaridis, and especially star Emma Stone - for this adaptation of Alasdair Gray's 1992 novel. A few critics have already described the multiple Oscar nominee as a "weird Barbie" (not like that film's Weird Barbie"). Up until I saw it, I preferred to describe it as a weird Frankenstein parody. It's not exactly that, but you'd understand my choice of words once you meet Dr. Godwin "God" Baxter (Willem Dafoe) and his "creature," Bella (Stone).

Bella was born when a desperate woman jumped off the London Bridge. One mad science experiment later, Bella is technically back, for although she looks mature, her behavior is anything but that. She's bratty, inarticulate and devoid of tact, among other things. As such, Baxter confines Bella to his house. But that changes when he brings home med student Max McCandles (Ramy Youseff) as his new assistant. Max soon decides to marry Bella, which Baxter is OK with as long as she stays put. Bella doesn't like it; coincidentally or not, that's when her intelligence and sexuality skyrocket.

Anyway, Bella accepts Max's proposal, but she first decides to run off with Baxter's lawyer, Duncan Wedderburn (Mark Ruffalo), for a lavish trip. Duncan's the kind of lawyer willing to indulge Bella's desire for "furious jumping." That makes their first stop in Lisbon all the more memorable. Her growing maturity eventually infuriates him more than her social faux pas. She soon meets a few characters who decimate her naive world view. And then her past comes back for her.

This is a very alien film, technically speaking. Sure, the locations Bella visits are real, but between the steampunk sky trams and watercolory skies, this might be another planet. Baxter's "pets," which include a bulldog with a duck's head, do little to dissuade that notion. Bella might struggle to fit in with "polite society," but her wardrobe, as designed by costume designer Holly Waddington, fits in with the strangeness. Our fascinated disorientation is accentuated by Jerskin Fendrix's surreal score and Ryan's frequent fish-eye lenses. Its first act is mostly black-and-white, but everything else, including the prologue, is filmed in the most stunning color possible. Let's just say everyone who got an Oscar nomination here deserved it in spades.

Bella's story is as oddly fascinating as her world. Her childish behavior, which isn't hyperbole as you'll learn why, is equally creepy and funny. One of her earlier scenes has her poke a cadaver with glee, while a later dinner party with Duncan and a few no-names shows her at her most tactless. It's quite hilarious when she even tells Baxter of her "secret" plan with Duncan. What's most fascinating about Stone's performance is how Bella slowly but surely grows. Her primitive speech at the start gets noticeably articulate near the end of her Lisbon trip. She shows some simplistic, yet sophisticated business sense, when she joins Madame Swiney's (Kathryn Hunter) brothel in Paris. She soon outwits Alfie Blessington (Christopher Abbott), her former self's abusive husband, with some weird science. There is a compelling story if you can get through the weirdness.

 Who else does Bella have in her world? Duncan is a pathetic manchild who goes from a funny cad to a creepily possessive cad who's also a loser. That's highlighted when, during their cruise to Alexandria, he tries to toss Bella's new friend Martha (Hanna Schygulla) overboard, which the old lady finds fun. Baxter is quite overprotective of Bella, but I'm sure his casual descriptions of his abusive father's "science experiments" will disturb you more than his possessiveness or his messed-up face (excellent makeup work there). It helps that he quickly relents to let Max marry Bella and to let her elope with Duncan. He's actually quite pitiable as he lies on his deathbed. Max is quite likable, as are Bella's fellow prostitute Toinette (Suzy Bemba) and professional cynic Harry Astley (Jerrod Carmichael). The only character I truly detested was Blessington, a man who gets his dog to scare a maid into spilling soup on herself and threatens to shoot her if she complains (and he seriously wonders why his servants are planning to revolt!). His karmic punishment is hilarious.

It's just about over a month before the next Oscars. Who knows if Poor Things will be available to stream by then? So, see it soon as you can however you can. This is a long movie, clocking in at 142-minutes, but it's not boring in the slightest. It's a weird movie, but it's still one of the most compelling coming-of-age stories you'll ever see. It's a film that can't be simply described, it must be seen to be believed. If you're lucky. That's it for now.