I almost thought something was wrong with the language selection when I was greeted with an English narration. But no, that's a deliberate choice. The voice belongs to actress Stella Gonet, who appears later as, of all people, Margaret Thatcher. How Thatcher actually figures into the story is an audacious surprise. Anyway, Thatcher narrates how one Claude Pinoche (Clemente Rodriguez) was outed as a vampire during the French Revolution and eventually escaped to Central America. As Pinochet, El Conde rose through the ranks of the Chilean military until he seized power in 1973.
Historically, Pinochet died on December 10, 2006, at the age of 91. But that's what they want you to think. "Actually," El Conde (Jaime Vadell), who is pushing 250, faked his death by going cold turkey on blood. He and his family retire to the countryside with their ill-gotten gains. He has finally gotten bored of his long life, particularly when he has to share it with his unfaithful wife Lucia (Gloria Munchmeyer), their greedy kids, and their fellow-vampire butler Fyodor (Alfredo Castro). When El Conde seemingly goes on a vampiric killing spree, his daughter Luciana (Catalina Guerra) and her siblings hire Carmen (Paula Luchsinger), a vampire hunting nun, to stake him. It doesn't take long before El Conde sees through her initial disguise as an accountant. It takes less than that before Carmen falls under his spell - or does she?
This may have not been Chile's submission for the International Feature Oscar - The Settlers was - but cinematographer Edward Lachman still earned a spot on this year's Oscar ballot. That it's in black-and-white does nothing to diminish the savagery of its violence. Lachman gets us uncomfortably close as El Conde carves out several unfortunate hearts and blender them for a "nice" smoothie. Its landscapes, particularly when El Conde flies over them like a vampiric Superman, are far more pleasant to look at. It's quite striking to see El Conde in full attire blend into the scenery. The cinematography also accentuates the creepiness of Rodrigo Bazaes's production design, especially the farmhouse.
Its titular character's villainy easily gets under your skin. Anyone remotely familiar with the Pinochet regime's numerous crimes will cry foul whenever El Conde shifts the blame to his subordinates. He tolerates being called a killer, but being called a thief crosses a line. Carmen later calls him out for his casual callousness when she "audits" him. Why doesn't he let her stake him at the first opportunity? That's something I asked myself a bit, but perhaps she helped renew his lust for life; if so, we're in trouble. Thatcher's narration will make you hate her long before she shows up, or even before you realize who she is. She extols El Conde's bloodlust with one long "Yeah, he's a murderer. So what?" rant. I must say Gonet really nails Thatcher's icy demeanor.
Beware of spoilers.
Yes, the film clearly makes us think that El Conde is the flying heart carver. But it makes perfect sense once you figure out that it's really Fyodor. Him casually confessing to his numerous crimes is just as unnerving as El Conde denying his own. Lucia is just as icy and sinister as The Iron Lady herself. Luciana and her siblings are strangely the most likable characters in the film. Yes, they want the old man staked for selfish reasons, but they want the old man staked. Carmen is fine, though she gets her most compelling moments once you realize her true plans.
End of spoilers.
El Conde is a surprisingly funny film about one of history's most evil men. Larrain and Guillermo Calderan's script has some audacious dialogue during its 111 minutes. How Carmen and Luciana discuss the planned "exorcism" is pretty amusing, for example. There's also some stunning juxtaposition as the film compares the Pinochets' illegal accounts to El Conde's vampirism. Overall, I think that it's worth a watch if you're in the mood for a good horror film but there's nothing interesting in theaters. Lachman's chances of winning the Oscar are slim, but his cinematography makes for a memorable viewing experience. See it soon to see what I mean. That's it for now.
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