Napoleon

 Ah, Napoleon Bonaparte, a man of many distinctions. The First Emperor of France, military genius, devotee to Josephine, and not as short as everyone thinks he is. Stanley Kubrick spent much of his life trying to make the definitive Napoleon film, and now, Ridley Scott gets his shot at the subject. Let's see how he did.

In 1793, Napoleon (Joaquin Phoenix) watches as ex-queen Marie-Antoinette (Catherine Walker) gets her turn with Madame Guillotine. He's promoted to brigadier general when he wins the Siege of Toulon. Meanwhile, Joséphine de Beauharnais (Vanessa Kirby) is spared the guillotine when the Reign of Terror ends. She and Napoleon meet at a party and soon marry. His military career takes off, but their relationship goes nowhere. He eventually crowns himself the Emperor of France and it still goes nowhere. Actually, it goes somewhere all right, and that's downhill.

David Scarpa's screenplay chronicles Napoleon and Josephine's relationship amidst his wars with Europe. They go from hating each other to crazy for each other between scenes. It's an erratic relationship, to say the least, enough to make one question why Josephine stuck by a funny, yet cruel manchild. But Napoleon shows himself a spark of decency when he attempts to recover her late first-husband's saber from a stache of unmarked weapons. Who knows if he got the right one, but it's the thought that counts. Perhaps these scenes will flow better when Scott's director's cut eventually debuts on Apple TV+. The present film's mood whiplashes are odd but are thankfully not as tonally catastrophic as House of Gucci's. 

Napoleon's battle scenes are as visually impressive as they are brutal. Its production design by Arthur Max and cinematography by Dariusz Wolski help visualize plenty of stunning locales for Napoleon to battle in. Scott holds nothing back, as even Napoleon's horses are blown apart by cannon fire. My personal favorite was the Battle of Austerlitz, where Napoleon lures his enemies to his death on a frozen river, for its massive crowd shots and desolate battlefield. Napoleon's suppression of the revolt on 13 Vendemiaire is brutally quick, while the burning of Moscow is an alluring end to his failed invasion of Russia. These scenes make the film's 157-minutes worth it.

What else is there to recommend? Kirby is decently compelling as Josephine, while Rupert Everett & Edouard Philliponnant are entertaining as Napoleon's arch-enemies, the Duke of Wellington and Tsar Alexander. Amongst the film's other famous faces, we have Ian McNiece in a surprise cameo as Louis XVIII and Sam Troughton as a somewhat pitiful Robespierre. The biggest surprise is in the soundtrack; while Martin Phipps composed much of the score, the film also uses Dario Marianelli's main theme from Pride & Prejudice. It's a surprising film to hear that soundtrack in, for sure.

Napoleon is a peculiar film. It has perfectly visualized battle scenes with an imperfectly developed central relationship. Its titular character is still interesting enough that its sheer runtime is barely an issue. Who knows what Kubrick would have thought of this film, but I thought it was fine. It's not perfect but it's not the hot mess a few folks peg it as. This may have been produced for Apple TV +, but you should still see it on the biggest screen you can find. After all, who knows when it will finally stream there?