The Roses

 So, what do you think of when I bring up The War of the Roses?

Do you think of that one war between two English Royal Houses? Do you think of that one movie that Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner did with Danny DeVito in 1989? Or do you think of that one novel by Warren Adler that sourced the aforementioned movie?

I'll bet when you watch Jay Roach's take on the novel, simply titled The Roses, you'll think of the older movie. Is Tony McNamara's loose adaptation just as funny as Michael J. Leeson's faithful approach for the 1989 film? Is it funny, period? Let's take a look.

Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch) & Ivy Rose (Olivia Colman) are the couple that most would envy. He's a successful architect, and she's an aspiring chef who's also a successful stay-at-home mom. He eventually buys her a lot for a restaurant, which she calls We've Got Crabs! Everything changes when the storm of the century hits; his dream Nautical Museum falls pathetically to pieces, while her restaurant hits it big thanks to a visiting food critic (Caroline Partridge).

A few years later, he's the stay-at-home dad and she's the breadwinner. This new arrangement slowly, but surely, drives them apart with resentment. They try to hide it with playful banter, but everyone immediately sees the writing on the wall. It takes a memorable jog before Theo finally decides to divorce Ivy. Problem is, neither of them want to part with their smart house. Will someone blink in this War of the Roses, or will they destroy each other? I'll bet you know the answer already.

But you'll have to wait a while for the "festivities." It's 102-minutes long, and the war officially kicks off about an hour in. Theo & Ivy partake in childish pranks, most of which are told in a montage. Their attorneys, Barry (Adam Samberg) & Eleanor (Allison Janey), have an entertaining verbal sparring session. It gets pretty nasty in the climax, when both sides resort to all-out attempted murder. The last few seconds all but spells out their fate, a memorable "oops" moment if I've ever seen one. All the fun of the older movie in this one's last half-hour. "Where's the fun in that?" you might ask.

An answer might be how it eviscerates the whole "till death you part" thing. Their friends, including the aforementioned Barry and his wife Amy (Kate McKinnon), point out the obvious tensions. Their marriage counselor, Janice (Belinda Bromilow), deems their marriage unsalvageable after one session. Their kids, Hattie & Roy (Hala Finley & Wells Rappaport), applaud them for finally pulling the plug. Naturally, the film doesn't think highly of obviously contentious couples. If divorce is a parachute, then the Roses should hurry up and use it yesterday. I mean, they had their chance. Several, actually...

The Roses start off as pretty good parents and partners. As the film went on, however, I found myself siding with Ivy way more than Theo. She, at least, tries to be sympathetic to him, but he counters with needlessly cruel jabs (particularly when he finally starts the divorce). We can sympathize with him - when we're not laughing profusely - when the museum collapse goes viral. We can also slightly sympathize with him when Ivy slanders him with AI. But his climactic attempt to kill Ivy with food allergies renders their reconciliation a little flat. It's admittedly fun to watch Cumberbatch act like a petulant brat, though. He and Colman get some marvelous insults, so there's some levity there.

What else do we have here? Ivy's skills in pastry architecture are nothing less than outstanding. You got to see her house cake, at least until she throws it around during a contentious dinner party. I don't know who actually made the dishes, whether it was Colman or someone else on the staff, but they were appealing (ignore some "extra" ingredients). Their smart house looks pretty nice, thanks to production designer Mark Ricker. Its opening credits, set to a cover of Happy Together, are visually imaginative. Finally, Theodore Shapiro adds to the soundscape with an exquisite score.

It's an amusing deconstruction of marriage, even if it's not as vicious as its predecessor (I don't miss the older film's dinnertime surprise, though). I think some of the film's new gags are pretty good. I don't think the film's pathos is proficient, but it has some moments. Overall, it might be worth seeing this peculiar film even once. If it gets you to look at the older versions, then it's done something right.

The Toxic Avenger

 A few years after its festival run, The Toxic Avenger, Macon Blair's reinvention of Troma Entertainment's signature superhero, has finally started playing at theatres near us. Should we dump it back in the sewers? Or should we let it rise? Let's find out.

Winston Gooze (Peter Dinklage) is a janitor trying to live a simple life Tromaville (St. Roma's Village). That life ends when he's diagnosed with a brain tumor, and his insurance won't cover him. He tries appealing to his employer, CEO Bob Garbinger (Kevin Bacon) of the BTH company, for help. Unbeknownst to Winston, BTH is a snake-oil company, and is singularly responsible for the town's poor health. Unsurprisingly, Bob and his henchwoman Kissy (Julia Davis) throw him out. 

Winston then tries corporate burglary, only to run into crusading reporter J.J. (Taylour Paige), and a murderous rock band called The Killer Nutz. The Nutz throw him into toxic waste, which mutates him into a creature nicknamed Toxie (Luisa Guerreiro, with Dinklage voicing the part). As Toxie bloodily cleans-up crime, Bob's benefactors at the mob start breathing down his neck. So, he concocts a scheme to extract Toxie's blood for scientific reasons (like superpowers). In the midst of this, Toxie has to reconnect with his stepson, Wade (Jacob Tremblay).

Everyone with me so far? 

The hardest thing to analyze is its sense of humor. It's unapologetically vulgar and gleefully gruesome, but then again, so are the Deadpool movies. What novelty is there when ultra-violent superhero media is now more common? Sure, it purports to be unrated, but it's actually rated R, released as the director intended. Oh, I think I explained the joke ...

Still, much like Deadpool, it still has fun stomping on cliches. Various parts of Tromaville are introduced with ridiculously gloomy names; some characters don't instantly die violently; an angry mob immediately forms after Toxie; Wade's appeal to Toxie's better nature - during the final battle - quickly falls apart. Its gruesomeness is admittedly still amusing; one particularly vulgar gag actually saves the day. I could go on, but that would ruin some of the fun. Indeed, it's all fun to watch, but I think it works best if you're watching with a crowd (I was the only one there!). 

Winston's plight is played for laughs as much as good taste allows. On one hand, his initial diagnosis is drowned out by an inconvenient construction crew. On the other, his talk with an uncaring insurance rep (Jane Levy) is hilariously maddening. His literal Save the Cat moment, even as onlookers ruthlessly mock him, gets us on his side right away. It's quite nice when he's celebrated as a hero by grateful onlookers at the end (including his creator, Lloyd Kaufman). Nothing seems amiss when Dinklage is switched out with Guerreiro; the suit work and dubbing are flawless. Toxie's makeup job, as well as those for his rogue's gallery, is perfectly freaky.

That rogue's gallery is perfectly headlined by Bob, who's so entertainingly, bombastically evil that he literally turns into the devil later on. Now, I made the mistake a few folks assumed with Toxie and thought it was Bacon underneath that makeup. That's actually Spencer Wilding (who also doubles as the Punk chicken masked Him Under the Hood), and he nails Bacon's mannerisms perfectly. Kissy, who seems to flip-flop between reluctant and willingly villainous, is all-out entertaining when she embraces evil. Fritz (Elijah Wood), Bob's brother, is a pitiable enough sad sack who turns good. Finally, we have Thad Barkabus (Jonny Coyne), the head mob guy, who doesn't add much for a secondary big bad.

J.J., in any other movie, would just be the deuteragonist. She's that, and the film's straight man, and it's quite amusing to see her confront the strangeness. She and Wade get a nice scene together as they bond over their recent bereavements (her sister, his mom). Wade, meanwhile, is decently likable, and is equally sympathetic in his strained relationship with Winston. Sean Dooley has a memorable cameo as J.J.'s boss, Mel Furd (the same name as Toxie's previous civilian identity), who gets one of the aforementioned prolonged deaths. The biggest supporting star, however, is David Yow, as Guthrie Stockings the Wise Hobo, Toxie's heroic mentor.

Now for the technical stuff. It gets pretty obvious whenever it utilizes CGI gore. Some might complain, but I'll let it slide considering this film's delightful unreality, which unless I'm mistaken, is also consistent with the Troma style. Practical effects aren't completely abandoned; there's an animatronic mutant bird who pops up for a few gags. Excellent production and costume designs further help visualize this unreality.

This movie, much like Troma's filmography, isn't for everyone. It's not only crass and violent, but Toxie doesn't show up until about thirty-minutes in. If you can tolerate that, you'll find yourself with a delightfully bizarre matinee. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's still messy fun. That's it for now.