Karate Kid: Legends

The Karate Kid remake was one of the first films I reviewed on this blog. It did pretty well, better than most movie remakes, but it didn't get the franchise on its feet right away. It's ready to fight once again with Karate Kid: Legends, which marks the directorial debut of TV producer and director Jonathan Entwistle. Let's get to it.

In what is perhaps a novel twist, the screenplay by Ron Lieber refactors the aforementioned remake into the continuity of the previous films. It turns out, as explained in a flashback to The Karate Kid: Part Two, Mr. Miyagi's (Pat Morita) brand of Karate has its roots in Kung Fu. As we officially open the film, Mr. Han (Jackie Chan), the Mr. Miyagi of the "remake," continues teaching Kung Fu in China. One of his students is his grandnephew, Li Fong (Ben Wang), who gets dragged off to New York when his doctor mother (Ming-Na Wen) gets a job there. Li immediately befriends Mia Lipani (Sadie Stanley), daughter of local pizzeria owner Victor (Joshua Jackson). All's good, right?

Unfortunately, Li also meets Mia's ex, Connor Day (Aramis Knight), an unhinged martial arts champion. Connor's instructor, Mr. O'Shea (Tim Rozon) is a loan shark who wants Victor to pay up or else. One night, Li fights off some of O'Shea's goons, which gets Victor, a former fighter himself, to ask Li to be his Mr. Miyagi. That's admittedly an interesting twist on the franchise's well-established formula. But eventually, circumstances force Li to get into the ring himself in an upcoming martial arts tournament, The Five Burroughs. Mr. Han and Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio), the original Karate Kid himself, show up to train Li for the tournament. That's pretty much it.

So, when do the Shifu and the Sensei team-up? At least half-way through this 94-minute movie. It's kind of a long wait considering that's the selling point of the advertisements. They rush through Li into the formula in its remaining minutes; it could've been better if one or both was present at the start. They could've helped develop the conflict between Li and his mom over his taking up martial arts again. Instead, she accepts it off-screen; I'll explain the conflict a little further down. Even worse, it ends so quickly that Mr. O'Shea becomes a Karma Houdini, unless he becomes the new John Kreese in a sequel. It's not a perfect plot, but there's plenty to admire and enjoy about it.

One such aspect is the new Karate Kid himself. Throughout the movie, Li is haunted by the death of his brother, a Kung Fu champion who got murdered by an angry rival and his gang. That incident is why his mother doesn't want him taking up martial arts again. His PTSD is palpable before the reveal, and the audience can easily sympathize with his reluctant hero status. You can't blame him when he freezes up after Victor's comeback fight goes horribly wrong; neither can you blame Mia, for that matter, for being mad at him. Of course, all of that makes it spectacular when he beats the odds in the final round. 

So, who's in this new Karate Kid's corner? Well, Mr. Han proves that Jackie Chan is just as spry in his seventies as he was in his thirties. He proves that much when he breaks into Li's apartment and gives him a sudden sparing lesson. He's just as eccentric as he was in the "remake," and all the more delightful for it. His best scene is when he consoles Li over his failure to help Victor. His co-Sensei, Daniel, is quite moving when he speaks of the late Mr. Miyagi with reverence (even if it's played for laughs in the epilogue, which has a surprise cameo). Both legacy characters are great together, even if it's not for the whole movie. Li has great chemistry with not only the Lipanis, but Alan (Wyat Oleff), his student-tutor, wingman and unofficial third sensei.

This brings me to the bad guys. Connor is the type of villain whose very presence will unnerve you. What does he do to deserve that reputation? He's excessively violent to his sparring partners, punches Li on the subway and even attacks a referee or two. He barely tries to pretend to be nice; one exception leads to the subway punch. I wasn't kidding when I called him unhinged earlier. Mr. O'Shea, meanwhile, isn't nice either, which he proves when he gets Victor nearly killed at his comeback match. Unfortunately, he's out of focus for most of the film. But both he and Connor continue the series' proud tradition of villains you can't believe weren't already in jail. Again, it's still beyond satisfying when Li knocks down Connor at the end.

It doesn't disappoint with the fight scenes, even if some of them are slightly over-edited. Li saving Victor from O'Shea's goons deserves a special mention, as that one has Li swing from a fire-escape for a kick! Li's decisive move is another spectacular kick, which he practices on a subway turnstile in a very funny montage. It's beyond obvious who the mysterious intruder attacking Li is, but it's still entertaining to watch it play out. Let's not forget the tournament, even those fights just there in a montage. These fights are accentuated quite nicely by Dominic Lewis's score. The graphics used to illustrate the countdown to the tournament and its point-system were pretty nifty, too.

It has some writing issues, but at least its callbacks to the previous films aren't so intrusive. You might need some familiarity with them, but you don't need to binge them beforehand. Its new Karate Kid is so compelling that you might want to break into applause at the end (my screening did). I'm sure this might get one to check out the previous films, or even the sequel series Cobra Kai, but I've had plenty of fun with its recent video game, The Karate Kid: Street Rumble. It's a bit hard in places, but it's spectacularly entertaining, much like this film. I definitely recommend you check out both. 

That's it for now.

Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning

Tom Cruise and his super-spy alter-ego, Ethan Hunt, are back, perhaps for their last Mission Impossible. For a number of reasons, what one would’ve assumed would be Dead Reckoning: Part Two is now The Final Reckoning. Let’s see if you should accept this mission.

When we last Ethan and his Impossible Mission Force, they had just grabbed the key to The Entity, that evil AI, from its now-former favorite human, Gabriel (Esai Morales). As we open this mission, The Entity is messing around with international politics with fake videos (yes, really). As if that wasn’t enough, The Entity starts hijacking all the world’s nuclear weapon systems. Erica Sloane (Angela Bassett), previously the CIA director in Fallout and now the President, wants Ethan to give the key to the US Government. Ethan, instead, asks Sloane to let him extract The Entity’s source code from the sunken submarine Sevastopol. Sloane agrees.

Ethan brings along his usual spies, Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg), Luther Stickwell (Ving Rhames), newbie Grace (Hayley Atwell) and previous antagonists, Paris (Pom Klementieff) and Degas (Greg Tarzan Davis), to the mission. Meanwhile, the US Government and Gabriel engage in a convoluted struggle for The Entity. As usual, not everyone on the team isn’t going to make it out alive. That’s pretty much it.

Cruise’s favorite writer/director, Christopher McQuarrie, once again calls the shots on this mission. McQuarrie and his co-writer, Erik Jendersen, not only load the story with plenty of dynamic set-pieces, but callbacks upon callbacks to the previous films. Among the most prominent is Donloe (Rolf Saxon), a minor character from the first movie, who joins the team an hour or so in. These callbacks are relatively easy to digest, unlike the cavalcade of factions antagonizing Team Ethan. A few other plot threads, such as that concerning Agent Briggs (Shea Wigham), are either left partially explained or not explained at all. This is despite the fact the film runs a rather fitting 169-minutes. 

Still, the mission isn't a complete failure at all. Ethan, Benji and Luther are still a pretty good trio after all this time. Sure, Ethan gets the best stunts, which I'll discuss later, but Benji gets some of the best lines. Luther, meanwhile, gets a rather meaningful final speech. Donloe and his wife, Tapeesa (Lucy Tulugarjuk), are both likable and are welcome additions to the crew. It's quite pleasing that Paris survived Dead Reckoning because she gets plenty of great action scenes and meaningful chemistry with Benji here. Sloane is pretty sympathetic as her cabinet pressures her to make a first strike. Out of all the power playing, a surprise hero emerges in General Sidney (Nick Offerman), the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. In short, I think the acting team is pretty good here.

Now let's talk about the action. Its most highly publicized stunt is Ethan and Gabriel's long biplane chase in the climax. Yes, much of it was shot on real biplanes, but I doubt that Gabriel's hilariously humiliating demise was done for real. Meanwhile, Benji and the others fight to hack The Entity, while Sloane and her cabinet argue. Earlier than that, Ethan makes his way through the Sevastopol just as the submarine decides to sink even further. Not only that, but he's forced to surface without his diving suit! These set-pieces, as well as The Entity's gradual nuclear hacking, are masterfully constructed by editor Eddie Hamilton. Sure, an important scene involving Luther is a bit hard to follow, but the rest of it works wonders. Anyone looking for great action wont be disappointed here.

What else can I say about it? I almost thought the famous theme wouldn't show up, but it actually kicks in at 23-minutes. I re-checked Dead Reckoning just now, and it actually kicks in there at almost thirty-minutes. And yet, I didn't notice that delay last time. Weird, huh? A scene where Ethan gets inside Gabriel's personal sensory deprivation chamber is just as overwhelming to the audience as it is to him. All the flashing lights there aren't a pleasant sight, that's for sure. It's pretty heavy-handed when our heroes have a few conversations that boil down to "The Entity wants you to be irrational. Be rational." But they're still fine. Above all, it's pretty fun when you realize that the plot boils down to the IMF trying to stop Skynet from doing Judgment Day. Will there be robots in a next film, too?

But seriously, I wonder what a prospective follow-up would be like. What kind of crazy action scenes will it have? Who will they assemble for the mission? Like Ethan and Gabriel in the climax, the future is up in the air. But for now, accept this latest Mission Impossible if you want another good time at the movies. You'll just have to see the biplane climax for itself; there's a lot I haven't discussed in this review. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds ...

Or not.

Lilo and Stitch

It hasn't been long since Snow White slept at the box-office. I'll reiterate that it's a flawed movie, but much like that Ghostbusters redo, it's not worth starting World War III over. In any case, it's clear that nobody slept on Disney's latest live-action redo, Lilo and Stitch. Here's why you shouldn't sleep on it, either.

Chris Sanders, the co-director of the original film, once again voices Stitch, whom Dr. Jumba Jookiba (Zach Galifianakis) created as Experiment 626. Stitch is sentenced to exile by the United Galactic Federation for being a feral troublemaker, but he escapes for Earth, specifically Kaua'i. The Grand Councilwoman (Hannah Widdingham) forces Jumba to join with "Earth Expert" Agent Pleakley (Billy Magnussen) to get Stitch back.

On Earth, Stitch ends up at the animal shelter, where orphaned local girl Lilo Pelekai (Maia Kealoha) adopts him as her new "dog." Her older sister Nani (Sydney Elizebeth Agudong) isn't happy, but Lilo is certainly happy with her new friend. Meanwhile, the sisters are threatened with separation by CPS, embodied by social worker Mrs. Kekoa (Tia Carrere, animated Nani herself). Also, meanwhile, the Grand Councilwoman's patience for Jumba and Pleakley is wearing thin. Will there be a happy ending for this 'ohana?

The writers deviate from the original film in several key areas (how the CPS subplot is resolved may break the ending for some). But I think that it's pretty close to the original without going shot-for-shot. I haven't seen the original in quite a while, but I still remember a few scenes and dialogue recreated here. It's hard to feel nothing, for example, when Stitch tells the Grand Councilwoman of his new family at the end. The revised climax, where Stitch nearly drowns, is quite moving too even if it's obvious he won't bite it. On a lighter note, we get some great new laughs, such as a trigger-happy Federation crewmember and a portal gun loop.

It helps that we have a great cast here. Kealoha, in her first movie, is quite likable as Lilo, even when she acts out. You'll easily sympathize with Agudong's Nani as she runs herself ragged trying to keep their 'ohana together. The sisters have great chemistry together; part of the reason why the ending didn't break me is because of a certain loophole, which might just leave you smiling. Amy Hill, who voiced shopkeeper Mrs. Hasagawa in the animated entries, is excellent as the Pelekais' grandmotherly neighbor Tutu, whose grandson is Nani's co-worker David (Kaipo Dudoit). Courtney B. Vance is pretty good as CIA agent Cobra Bubbles, who "partners" with Mrs. Kekoa as a "fellow social worker." As for the aliens, the Grand Councilwoman has an enjoyable sardonism; the more overtly villainous Jumba is fine; and Pleakely is just enjoyable.

Now we get to the technical stuff. The aliens, especially Stitch and Pleakley, perfectly recreate their 2D counterparts without trying too hard, and are rather easy on the eyes. Their gadgets and spaceships, such as the aforementioned portal gun, are pretty nifty designs too. Despite some minor cracks, they're a lot more tangible than a certain set of dwarfs tried to be. Yes, The Legend of Ochi did wonders for puppeteering, but this Stitch feels real just the same. That tangibility helps make the revised climax especially moving. The Hawaiian sights, as filmed by cinematographer Nigel Bluck, are more exquisite when they're paired with Mark Kealiʻi Hoʻomalu's retained songs, Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride and He Mele No Lilo. The rest of the soundtrack is filled by a pretty good score by Dan Romer and a sparse selection of Elvis songs.

I'm sure that Disney will consider a sequel or two after its stellar numbers. I'm kind of curious to see where they and director Dean Fleischer-Camp will take the material next. Will they reverse some of the more controversial story changes next time? Who knows, but at least this current movie is pretty good. Those who disagree can check out the original film, and its follow-ups, on Disney+ anytime. I think I should too, just to remind myself why the first film was great. But that's it for now.

Night of the Zoopocalypse

 Are you ready for Baby’s First Barker?

Clive Barker isn’t known for family-friendly works. At all. But a few months ago, one of the rare exceptions, the short story ZOOmbies, became the animated film Night of the Zoopocalypse, which barely had a theatrical release. It’s ready to stream on your favorite VOD service, and it’s got such sights to show you.

One night, a meteor crashes into the gigantic Colepepper Zoo. One bunny, credited as Bunny Zero (Bryn McAuley), eats a piece and mutates into a “Gum-Beast” zombie. Pretty soon, Bunny Zero infects most of the zoo. The only survivors are Gracie the Wolf (Gabbi Kosmidis), Dan the Zoo’s new Mountain Lion (David Harbour), Xavier the Lemur (Pierre Simpson), Ash the Ostrich (Scott Thompson), Felix the Monkey (Paul Sun-Hyung Lee), Frida the Capybara (Heather Loreto) and Poot the Pygmy Hippo (Christina Nova). They’ll have to figure out how to reverse the mutations before they’re next. That’s basically it, but there’s more.

This is a horror film made for those too young or too squeamish for the likes of Hellraiser. That much is obvious when you meet the monsters. Sure, the Gum-Beasts are grotesque, but they’re also surprisingly cuddly. It’s more amusing than terrifying when they lose a body part or two. One of them, a gorilla, not only falls apart, but struggles to put himself together correctly. Another gag, involving Gracie’s gumbied granny, will shock you until the punchline. The final boss, a mammoth chimera, is the creepiest of the monsters, but Barker has written and shown us much worse, so you’ll be fine. Those who have seen Mars Attacks! or Attack of the Killer Tomatoes will smirk when our heroes discover how to cure the Gum-Beasts.

Let’s introduce you to the pack. Felix’s pompous speciesm makes him hard to like, and he does nothing to change that opinion. You’ll be begging for him to get gumbied by his first scene. Still, it’s quite funny seeing him frustrated by a MacGuffin card-key just before that. Xavier is the movie nerd, constantly making references to his favorite films and their plot structures. I kind of wish we actually saw some of those films, even those made-up for this one, but I digress. He, Frida and Ash are much more tolerable than Felix, and they all shine during the penultimate battle. Poot, however, is a hoot, thanks to her cuddly design and ditzy personality. Finally, our two leads, Gracie and Dan, aren't innovative characters, but they have a good dynamic. You'll especially be riveted when Dan gets gumbied for a spell and attacks Gracie.

What else do we have? We do get an annoying use of the conflict ball just after Gracie and Dan encounter her gumbied pack. Fortunately, that lasts for a spell before the Gum-Beasts intervene. It's more fortunate that it's the only really annoying part of the writing; even Gracie and Dan's act two fallout is understandable. On the technical side, we get a striking purple and green color scheme, as well as some impressive battles with the Gum-Beasts. The character designs for the normal animals are quirky, while the overly cutesy animals adorning the zoo's sign are unnerving. Dan Levy, of the defunct band The Dø, gives us an entertaining soundtrack that would fit right in with the best 80's horror soundtracks. 

Whether you want to call it Baby's First Barker, or Baby's First Horror Film, Night of the Zoopocalypse makes for a nice and spooky 91-minutes. Its writing is a bit simplistic, and a few characters were annoying, but I never found myself bored with it. Give it a go and you might be pleasantly surprised. I'll leave it to you to introduce your kids to Barker's other cinematic monsters at your own time. Take your time.

That's it for now.

The Legend of Ochi

The Legend of Ochi, the debut film of longtime music video director Isaiah Saxon, actually ran locally at the tail-end of April. But, for a number of reasons, I decided to wait until its second run, which began on Friday, to check it out. Let’s see what I missed.

Over on the island of Carpathia, Maxim (Willem Dafoe) leads the local lads, and his daughter Yuri (Helena Zengel), on nightly hunts for the Ochi, the local cryptid monkeys. One day, Yuri encounters a baby Ochi, its foot ensnared in a trap. After she heals it, she decides to return the critter to its community. She’s pursued by Maxim and his Junior Hunters (including Finn Wolfhard as Maxim’s adopted son, Petro), and is dissuaded by her long-lost mother, Dasha (Emily Watson). Is any of that going to stop her?

Sure, the film stars a few humans, and all of them are fine, but they’re outclassed by the Ochi. These creatures are more Gizmo from Gremlins than the chupacabra in personality and design. In what must seem like a novelty these days, the Ochi were realized with puppetry and animatronics. Whatever CGI is used is mainly to erase the seven puppeteers controlling baby Ochi. The end result seems too good to be true - some erroneous reports stated AI was used on the film - but it is. It's even more outstanding when you discover that the Ochi's chirping voice was vocalized by a human, Paul "The Birdman" Manalatos. This helps make Ochi and Yuri's chemistry all the more compelling, especially when she learns how to chirp Ochi.

It does repeatedly trip on its own tone, though. It starts off perfectly grim as Maxim and his Junior Hunters attack the Ochi in a nighttime raid. Later on, it tugs at the heart strings as we see the ensnared baby Ochi. But then it gets a bit silly, such as Maxim dressing for his raids like a gladiator goalie, like it's a serious Wes Anderson film. A scene at a supermarket, which has a surprisingly thorough anti-Ochi protocol, ends with Yuri accidentally getting bitten. Yuri and Ochi escape the supermarket by stealing a car in the middle of a tire change (it ends as you might expect). Later on, we see the infected arm, and while it's excellent makeup work, it's also way gruesome. When Dasha enters, she implies that a certain bat is responsible for the livestock deaths attributed to the Ochi. But the film ends too abruptly for that and other points to register.

What else does it have? There's some vibrant scenery in Carpathia, visualized either through matte paintings or through location filming in Romania. A few memorable locations include the aforementioned supermarket, Dasha's hut and especially the Ochi's habitat. Overall, cinematographer Evan Prosofsky and production designer Jason Kisvarday are both worth a consideration for next year's Oscars. Their work is accentuated by David Longstreth's majestic score; just wait until you hear the opening theme. Not bad for a total price tag of $10 million.

The storytelling isn't perfect, but it's hard to doubt the appeal of The Legend of Ochi's titular creature. Whether it's in the technical craft, or the cuddliness, it's worth seeing the film just for the Ochi alone. Distributor A24 might have just found itself a new mascot, or at least a worthy competitor with Marcel the Shell. It's already on VOD, as well as theatres, so you've got quite a few ways to check it out. If you're not interested, I've got a few other options for the whole family. One of them is coming up next.

Thunderbolts*

Let's see if I can get to a thousand more reviews.

It might take a decade or more to get there, but let's begin with Thunderbolts*, which assembles some of the MCU's finest anti-heroes into one team. Jake Schreier, who hasn't directed a film since 2015's Paper Towns, proves more than capable of assembling this ensemble. Now, to distill this plot:

First, let's catch up with former Black Widow Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh). These days, Yelena has thrown herself into black ops work for corrupt CIA director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss). Valentina sends Yelena on a suicide mission along with Ava Starr/The Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen); John Walker/U.S. Agent (Wyatt Russell); and Antonia Dreykov/Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko), who isn't long for this movie. Everyone with me so far?

The survivors escape with Bob (Lewis Pullman), an ordinary dude who's basically Marvel's answer to Superman. Here, he's called The Sentry, and he gained his powers by being Valentina's guinea pig. Valentina's goons take him away, so our anti-heroes go after them with Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian (David Harbour) and Congressman Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan). They have to hurry because Valentina's experiments have not only empowered Bob, but his dark side, "The Void." Yeah, I think that's pretty much it.

Unlike Brave New World, this is a plot that doesn't require too much homework. Sure, its characters span multiple movies and TV shows, but the screenplay by Eric Pearson & Joanna Calo is mostly comprehensible on its own. Its overall plot is quite intriguing as the Thunderbolts* - and yes, the asterisk is there for a reason - learn more about Valentina's "Project Sentry" and Bob's Big Secret. Each revelation helps build-up the anticipation for The Void's debut, and he doesn't disappoint. Meanwhile, our anti-heroes confront major emotional baggage, sometimes with sarcasm, before they deal with Bob's. The one plot thread that lost me was O.X.E. Group, Valentina's shadowy organization, which was apparently a big deal in The Falcon and Winter Soldier (which I haven't watched), but not even mentioned in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. The story offered nothing to help my bewilderment.

At least it has a pretty good cast. Pugh and Harbour were already good in Black Widow, but here, they're great. As Yelena, Pugh mines plenty of sympathy and hilarity in her opening narration, as she describes her malaise. "There is something wrong with me." she says, "Or, maybe I'm just bored." As Alexei, Harbour is not only still funny, but he's excellent moral support. Their best scene together comes late in the movie, where he comforts her during an emotional breakdown. Yelena coming to terms with her depression later helps save the world from The Void. John, who was introduced in F & WS as an anti-hero Captain America, is decently compelling as he becomes a better hero; Ava and Bucky are fine, while Taskmaster is unfortunately wasted after one scene. Faring a lot better is Geraldine Viswanathan, who's quite likable as Valentina's beleaguered assistant, Mel.

The visual style is a good place to talk about the antagonists. Valentina makes a better impression here than she did in Wakanda Forever; as much as she wants to be in control, her best scenes come when she realizes she's out of her depth. Bob, much like Yelena, spends the movie dealing with depression, and Pullman, the visual effects team and cinematographer Andrew Droz Palermo, do an excellent job in getting us in his head. The Void can flatten people into shadows as he transports them to his realm, where his victims watch their worst memories on loop. It's just as haunting as it is alluring. The Void, a walking silhouette with glowing eyes, is a visually marvelous villain. The final battle, where the Thunderbolts essentially defeat The Void with kindness, isn't a big punch-up like in The Avengers, but it gets the job done.

I should probably mention the composers, the band Son Lux, primarily because I never mentioned them when I reviewed Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. That film got them an Oscar nomination, and they do an equally impressive job here, too. A few highlights include their darker remix of The Avengers theme and The Void's haunting theme. It's an appropriate score for what is, overall, one of the darkest MCU films, and it's one of the franchise's best since the Black Panther films. On a lighter side, the end credit scene gives us a cool preview of Michael Giacchino's theme for the upcoming The Fantastic Four: First Steps. As if I wasn't motivated to check out that film.

But what will motivate you to see Thunderbolts*? Perhaps it's the entertaining chemistry between its disparate misfits. Perhaps it's the more serious storyline? Maybe it's the visually impressive final boss? Or maybe, for those who haven't been spoiled already, it's to see why there's an asterisk in the title. Whatever the case, check out this movie for a marvelous start to the summer movie season. Let's hope that there's plenty more goodness to come.

The Rose of Versailles

When Netflix announced it would stream this movie beginning today, I knew what the subject of my one-thousandth review would be. 

The Rose of Versailles is the first anime movie of Riyoko Ikeda's beyond iconic manga series. It was previously adapted as an equally iconic anime series in 1979, as well as a line of stage musicals by the revered all-female Takarazuka Revue. Jacques Demy adapted it into a live-action movie, Lady Oscar, also in 1979, while another anime movie was announced in 2007, but it never got off the ground. That's quite a pedigree, there. Let's see how this iteration is.

In May 1770, Princess Marie Antoinette of Austria arrives in Paris to meet her future husband, the eventual King Louis XVI. On her arrival, she also meets her bodyguard Oscar François de Jarjayes, the Captain of the Royal Guards. It's an open secret that Oscar is actually a girl raised as a boy. See, her general dad wanted a son, but after so many daughters, decided to make do with her. That plot point isn't elaborated on in this movie. Anyway, everyone's fine with Oscar being Captain, so all's good right?

Nope. Once the Dauphin and Dauphine ascend, their extravagant lifestyles, especially Marie-Antoinette's, bankrupt the common folks. Despite her luxuries, Marie-Antoinette feels lonely, and mingles with a visiting Swedish Count, Hans Von Fersen. Needless to say, that affair only craters her reputation further. Oscar, who sympathizes with the peasantry, unsuccessfully tries to get the Queen to listen to reason. Meanwhile, Oscar contends with her growing feelings for her childhood friend, Andre Grandier. She and Andre join the French Guards Regiment, where they both become key players in the French Revolution. Is that it?

It's also a musical, too. The songs, all composed by Hiroyuki Sawano with several lyricists, are mostly presented as music video style montages. They remind me of a typical anime intro, only without any on-screen credits, even during its own intro song. A few other songs are just background music and are often overwhelmed by the foreground sounds. The first crowd song, set at the masquerade ball where Marie-Antoinette meets Hans, is just as catchy as the similar scene in The Phantom of the Opera, even if the singing is a bit quiet. Firebrand Reporter Bernard Châtelet's song is quite memorable because it is the only time, during the entire 115 minutes, that we see a named character break into song on-screen! It's quite a shock, especially since it's right near the end.

The film skims through so much of the manga's story in its runtime. This becomes a problem when Marie-Antoinette brings up her lonely childhood, and her even lonelier marriage, to essentially guilt-trip Oscar. During the first 40 minutes, we see not even a flashback to her previous life, while her French royal life is skimmed during an admittedly catchy song. The Affair of the Necklace is even skimmed over during another montage. King Louis XVI is barely even an entity during that point. Unsurprisingly, I reacted to her story with a simple "ok." All that skimming makes her descent to snobbish royal a bit less tragic. Still, she's not the worse royal in the movie, with that honor going to the real-life Henri de Guéméné. 

It gets better once Oscar becomes the focus of the film. Although she also loses some plot details, her stalwart personality and struggles with gender norms make her a compelling character. As it turns out, not everyone is fine with her status, particularly the French Guards, who take quite a while to respect her. In due time, their sexist attitudes dissipate, and they're more than willing to follow her into battle. It's quite cool to see her earn their respect, particularly when she bests the snooty Alain de Soissons in combat. She and Andre have the film's most compelling relationship, by far. It's often melodramatic, but it's still moving when they affirm their love before the final battles, where they fall. Her arranged fiancé, the Count of Girodelle, is pleasantly gracious when he lets her be with Andre after she makes her feelings known. Those unfamiliar with the franchise can easily surmise how and why Oscar became such an iconic character.

Marie gets some nice scenes before she descends into full snobbish royal. First, she advocates for sparing Andre for indirectly nearly getting her killed horseback riding. In another, she affirms her love for Louis XVI when her affair is discovered. That scene is where Louis is first depicted as a character, rather than filler, and he's quite sympathetic there. Both scenes help spare Marie from being the worst royal in the film, even if somewhat. Hans, in case you're wondering, hushes out of the story midway through. Amongst their supporting cast, the best of them is Andre's Grandma, who provides some fun comic relief.

The animation by MAPPA does right for the codifier of manga melodrama. The splendor of pre-revolutionary France is recreated in all of its opulent glory with magnificent production and costume designs. The Masquerade number is not only marvelous to listen to, but it's also marvelous to look at with these visuals. Marie-Antoinette's entrance into Paris is greeted with a glowing welcome parade. Later on, the downcast skies outside Versailles excellently metaphorize the country's declining morality. A few extravagant touches turn Hans and Marie-Antoinette's affair into full-tilt melodrama. It's often goofy, but it's still weirdly captivating all the same. I can go on, but I'd rather you see it for yourself.

I've seen some of Lady Oscar, via YouTube, which I remember being visually meh but dramatically fine. At least one review compared it to Barry Lyndon, but that had some exquisite cinematography. By contrast, The Rose of Versailles is visually spectacular and dramatically good. Its story and musical numbers could have used some work, but we still get some compelling plot points in its narrative. I was interested in enough to stay for the credits, which spells out the fates of the survivors, fictional and real-life. I think it's worth chilling with this unique historical drama. The original series is readily available on streaming and Blu-Ray; why don't you check it out too?

That's it for now.

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie

Hey, man. What's happenin'?

Oh, hey Vance. Long time no see!

What do ya' mean, "long time no see?!" I guest-starred in that review about the TV glowing, man! That was in August!

Again, long time. Listen, I got a new documentary to talk about.

Okay, what's it about?

None other than that ultimate stoner act, Cheech & Chong. According to the title, this is their Last Movie, so let's approach this with some reverence.

Or we can make it funny.

That too.

Anyway, Cheech Marin & Tommy Chong are driving to meet Dave at "The Joint." It doesn't take much to infer that this is the director, David L. Bushell, who's got an impressive resume as a producer (Sling Blade, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Dallas Buyer's Club). Along the way, they reminisce about their lives and careers, especially what led them to break up in the mid-eighties. At least, how they interpreted what happened. All the while, you'd be wondering if they're still pals.

Oh, by the way, Dave's not here (on camera).

So, what ya' think of it, man?!

I went in knowing little about them, other than their reputation, and went out impressed. You'll learn, among other things, about their backgrounds, how they met, and how producer Lou Adler (The Rocky Horror Picture Show guy) helped them get famous. Cheech, in particular, recalls how he grew up in South Central L.A. with an angry father and eventually fled to Canada to avoid the draft. I won't forget the gunshot sound effect that opens one montage in his story, that's for sure. Tommy, meanwhile, is from Canada, and was in several soul bands before he turned to comedy. They found each other in an improv group and the rest is history.

It's quite interesting to learn about their careers. You'll see them record a few of their famous skits and songs, and even how they got their personas. Tommy, in particular, modeled his persona on a hippie named Strawberry, who not only worked the sound at Tommy's club, but inspired a character in their first movie, Up In Smoke. Speaking of which, Adler low-balled them for what became a blockbuster back in the day, which they subsequently joked about. But their subsequent films, which Tommy directed, had diminishing returns and a brutal clash of egos behind the scenes. There's some resentment between them, as hinted at their individual interviews, but it's quite nice to see Cheech shoulder Tommy near the end.

Can I break this act, man?

Go ahead.

Finally!

It's not only a documentary, but it's a weird trip. Cheech and Tommy pick up a few surprise cameos on their way to The Joint. Theoretically, the most surprising is Adler himself, who's actually on good terms with them despite the low-balling. He respectfully gets out when it gets to that point. When Tommy claims that his then-wife, Maxine Sneed, was accepting of his affair with his now-wife, Shelby, Maxine pops up in the backseat to refute that. You'll just have to see it in context. Shelby, by the way, is the third guest star, and she has her own amusing stories to tell. The Guys smash the fourth wall when their climactic argument kicks in; again, you'll have to see it in context.

What else do we have? We get a nice selection of stock footage to illustrate their highs and lows. A few highlights include a Johnny Carson joke and Siskel & Ebert's scathing review of Nice Dreams. The latter moment is when you'll finally notice the diminishing returns. A few animated segments perfectly illustrate whatever the stock footage could not. In one segment, you'll feel for Cheech when he, as a young boy, is snubbed from a birthday party, which he watches from his window. It's quite compelling to see how he and Tommy used their life experiences to shape their routines. It's particularly interesting to hear about the production of Cheech's first solo movie, Born in East L.A., as well as its real-life inspirations. That movie seems quite relevant now.

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie is slightly overlong at two hours, but it's still good stuff. A few potentially interesting anecdotes aren't mentioned, like how Cheech & Chong were considered for The Lion King (Chong's part was rewritten for Whoopi Goldberg), but I digress. Their longtime fans will get a kick out of this documentary, while neophytes are sure to be amazed by the guys' life stories. I certainly was. Check it out for a good time. Do it soon, before it's crowded out by all the big movies.

Peace.

George A. Romero's Resident Evil

We now go from a horror film that is to a horror film that could have been.

Capcom’s horror video game franchise, Resident Evil, was in part inspired by the works of George A. Romero. So, it seemed that the director of Night of the Living Dead was the natural choice to adapt the property for the big screen. But that didn’t happen. Brandon Salisbury hopes to explain why in his documentary, George A. Romero’s Resident Evil.

Basically, Romero was hired after he directed a commercial for Resident Evil 2 in 1997. His screenplay recreated the game in movie form, albeit with some creative liberties, and we eventually hear a beat-by-beat summary of his treatment. But for some reason, Capcom and production company Constantin Film didn’t like it, and that was it. Eventually, Paul W.S. Anderson was hired instead, and his film debuted in 2002. Anderson’s film, and its sequels, were anything but the game in movie form. A few talking heads muse what could have been.

Most of the time, however, these talking heads discuss Romero’s life and legacy. They go into length about how Night of the Living Dead influenced future horror films with its modern definition of a zombie and its unprecedented violence. They discuss, even if for a second, some of his less famous films, like 1977’s Martin. They highlight his creative process through the filming of the RE2 commercial, and what it was like filming with him. You’d be surprised to learn how much of a cool guy he was, as George Demick found out when he met Romero at a convention. It’s quite nice to hear how Romero cast Demick as a zombie in Day of the Dead as a birthday present. It's quite profound when Demick, and a few others, relate how they learned of Romero's death in 2017.

So, what about the main thesis? Why was the film rejected? According to the documentary, the producers rejected the film due to concerns of violence and budget. Yes, it may sound weird how squeamish the producers were about zombie violence, but keep in mind that Romero's films were beyond graphic. X-Rated, if he had them submitted to the MPAA. During the beat-by-beat analysis, the speaker exposits that some of the script's dialogue was weak, but fixable on account of being a first draft. Romero was quoted, "I feel like I'm ripping myself off," while filming the commercial, which hints at some reservations. Other than that, the documentary doesn't delve into his perspective, or why he was fired. What I'm getting at is that he moved on, so did the franchise, and that was that. Okay.

What else does the documentary have? There are some nifty scenes, which I assume are recreating moments from the games, presented in glorious HD by cinematographer Tom Rebenolt. A highlight is the opening scene, where a soldier narrowly escapes death by zombie dog. The interviews with several personnel from the first game, such as writer Kenichi Iwao and actor Charlie Kraslavsky, are quite interesting to hear. Speaking of which, the documentary is narrated by Pablo Kuntz, the first game's voice of the franchise's Big Bad Albert Wesker. His voice is quite memorable even if you don't recognize it at first glance. It's especially memorable when he narrates how a movie tie-in game, Sweet Home, led to the existence of the franchise. 

A lot of the anecdotes about Romero would suit a documentary about the man himself. The unrealized film at the center of George A. Romero's Resident Evil is just a thing that happened in his life. Who knows if it would have been the first great video game movie, but the script analysis presents a decently interesting project. This documentary will definitely captivate fans of the franchise and perhaps entice new fans of the franchise. I've never played the games, and only watched the third film, Resident Evil Extinction, but I'm now more interested in playing the games after this documentary. I liked what I saw, even if it wasn't a perfect movie. Maybe you will too.

That's it for now.

Sinners

 Sinners, Ryan Coogler’s highly anticipated vampire film, premiered this past Easter weekend. Does it live up to the hype? Well, given the director’s past track record, of course it does. Let’s explain.

It’s 1932. After a lifetime of violence, twins Smoke & Stack Moore (both Michael B. Jordan) have come home to Clarksdale, Mississippi. Today, they plan to open their own joint, Club Juke, funded by a fortune they stole from their previous employers: Capone’s outfit. They spend the day hiring some talent, including their cousin Sammie (Miles Caton) as a guitarist; fieldworker “Cornbread” (Omar Benson Miller) as a bouncer; shopkeepers Grace & Bo Chow (Li Jun Yi & Yao) as suppliers; Smoke’s wife Annie (Wunmi Mosaku) as the cook; singer Pearline (Jayme Lawson); and pianist Delta Slim (Delroy Lindo). With a crew like that, opening night is an assured success. 

Meanwhile, Irish vampire Remmick (Jack O’Connell) recruits a Klan-couple, Joan & Bert (Lola Kirke & Peter Dreimanis) into his undead ranks. Sammie’s uncanny musical abilities draw the trio to Club Juke. They then spend the night recruiting unlucky patrons into their ranks. It doesn’t take long for the survivors to realize they’re dealing with the undead, and they prepare for battle. But not everyone will make it to see the next sunrise.

It was recently announced that the Best Cinematography Oscar will start using shortlists. I'd be really shocked if Autumn Durald Arkapaw not only misses the shortlist, but the nomination itself. Much hype has been made of her using 65 mm film, and some showings are said to have changing aspect ratios. I had a consistent aspect ratio, but I was still impressed with what I saw. Early on, there are some unbelievable oners; the first of which takes us between the Chows' stores, and the second is an extremely surreal musical sequence. Later on, the film haunts its viewers with Remmick and his vampirized coven performing an Irish folk song in the dead of night. Her Delta Gothic aesthetic creates a weary world, haunted by evil, and I'm not just talking about the Nosferatu.

A few more names in Coogler's production posse - composer Ludwig Göransson, production designer Hannah Bleacher, and editor Michael Shawver - are also deserving of recognition. The bluesy score explodes with ferocity during the battle scenes, while the musical numbers are exquisite. Its recreation of Clarksdale feels like an actual town and not some movie set in New Orleans (which it was). The sawmill that becomes Club Juke, in particular, looks great before and after the renovations. The battle scenes are as great as the jump scares; both benefit from some excellent sound design. The technical goodness is further exemplified by its excellent makeup and visual effects work. This is a film that needs to be seen on the biggest screen possible.

Another marvel comes from Jordan's double-act. His performances make it easy to forget that we're watching visual effects at play. The twins' brotherly bond, especially during his final fight, is that compelling. Stack gets one of the more substantial plotlines as he reconnects with his old girlfriend, Mary (Hailee Steinfeld), a bi-racial woman. It's a pretty good subplot made more potent when she turns vampire. Smoke, meanwhile, is rather ruthless, as shown by how he deals with two loiterers. But he's also an inherently good man haunted by his violent past; the finale lets him go out in a spectacular blaze of glory. It was sometimes easy to forget which was which, though their wardrobes by Ruth E. Carter helped out a lot. But I think you'll figure it out by the end.

What makes Remmick a more ghoulish villain is how alluring he is. Sure, he maybe a violent monster, but he's so believable when he speaks of racial tolerance in his coven. You won't forget how villainous he is, particularly when he turns outwardly monstrous close to sunrise. It takes quite a while before he shows up at Club Juke, but it's worth the wait. What helps that wait is the outstanding ensemble of actors surrounding Jordan, particularly Caton (in his film debut), Miller, and Lindo. It really accentuates the dread when some of them go vampire during the night. David Maldonado is also quite good as Hogwood, the treacherous businessman who sells the twins the sawmill. I can go on, but I won't.

Instead, I'll implore you to see Sinners as soon as possible. Believe it or not, there's quite a bit I had to leave out of this review. I left during the mid-credits, but I'm told there's something after the credits too. I won't tell you what it is, either. You need to see and hear these surprises for yourselves. I'm working on my next review, so I'll leave it with this: Sinners is just Great. 

Drop

The poster of 1981’s The Amateur promised that “The first 11 minutes will absolutely shock you. The last 11 minutes will rivet you to your seat.” As for the recent film's weekend rival, Drop, I can promise something better: "You'll hang on for dear life until the end credits." Let's see if I can elaborate.

A few years after her abusive husband Blake's suicide, therapist Violet Gates (Meghann Fahy) is ready to date again. She's met a nice guy, Henry Campbell (Brandon Skelnar), on her favorite app, DigiDrop, and they've booked the nicest restaurant in Chicago, Palate. She leaves her young son, Toby (Jacob Robinson), in the care of her sister, Jen (Violett Beane), and heads off. 

Everything seems fine until someone slides into her DMs with some creepy memes. The User, as I'll call them, has a nifty little game for Violet called "Kill Henry or your Family Dies." The User's masked accomplice has invaded Violet's home, and unless she slips Henry some poison, Toby and Jen will get it. Whoever it is, they're in the restaurant, and they're watching Violet through the security system. They won't let her tell anyone about their twisted game. So, how will she get out of this one?

Director Christopher Landon (Happy Death Day) and his writers, Chris Roach & Jillian Jacobs, waste not a second in this movie. It takes little time to get going, and once it does, The User's omniscience puts us on edge along with Violet. Each time she tries to outwit The User, the villain taunts her on her DMs. The User's words loom over her on-screen; they'll know if Violet tries anything covert. What makes it more unnerving is that practically everyone, other than our main couple, is a plausible suspect. The most obvious of them all turns out to be another victim. The actual villain goes all in on their villainy once they're exposed. And then, there's the matter of the masked accomplice. Talk about stakes.

Whatever nitpicks I have about the story aren't that big, but here goes. The film tries to make it a mystery whether Violet actually killed Blake or not. The film opens up with her being attacked, which is picked up by additional flashbacks. It's quite easy to guess the truth by the second flashback, which is partially why I revealed it a few paragraphs ago. The User's masterplan hinges on exploiting her "murderous past," even if the cited evidence is beyond circumstantial. That's pretty much it.

These nitpicks are easy to ignore because Fahy's performance is that compelling. It doesn't take long to sympathize with her troubled past, her first date jitters, or even her being spammed when "the game" begins. Her desperation is palpable each time she has to awkwardly stall for time. You'll be right with her whenever she zeroes in - or even thinks she has - on her tormentor. Her final battle with The User and their masked accomplice makes for one spectacularly over-the-top climax. Her endearing chemistry with her co-stars, especially during the last scene, provides some levity here. There's some further levity provided by Matt (Jeffery Self), our main couple's waiter, who gets a few zingers as the night goes on.

What else do we have here? The production design is quite impressive, especially since there are only about three locations in the entire film. Palate, in particular, is quite an appealing restaurant, and I'm not talking about the menu. The cinematography by Marc Spicer helps accentuate its architectural marvels. He and the visual effects crew try their best to disguise Dublin, of all places, as Chicago. I didn't catch on, but a few tell-tale signs might give it away. Still, the nighttime city photography is nice to look at. The suspense is made better by editor Ben Baudhuin & composer Bear McCreary's delightfully thrilling work.

Drop in for 95-minutes you'll never forget. Its efficient storytelling will have you on edge until the credits finally roll. Of course, the final scene promises that Violet's troubles aren't over ... for two seconds. But after this movie, I'm interested to see whatever project Landon has in mind. Hopefully, whatever it is will Drop in at due time. Onwards to the next review.

The Amateur

 When you can’t get a professional for your mission, try an amateur. He’ll get the job done! Eventually.

The Amateur is actually the second film version of Robert Littell’s novel, the first of which debuted along with the novel in 1981. Will this film escape its predecessor’s fate of cinematic obscurity? Let’s find out.

Our amateur hero is Charlie Heller (Rami Malek), a CIA cryptographer with an adoring wife, Sarah (Rachel Brosnahan). Thanks to a source codenamed Inquiline, Charlie discovers that his superiors have committed drone-assisted false-flag attacks. Meanwhile, Sarah is on a business trip in London when she is killed in a sudden terrorist attack. Charlie blackmails his boss, Director Moore (Holt McCallany), into getting the training needed to take down the terrorists.

Charlie is assigned Col. Henderson (Laurence Fishburne) as his trainer. Try as he might, “Hendo” can’t make a killer out of our meek hero. At least, not a direct one, for Charlie is actually good at making death traps. So, Charlie goes off to make his wife’s killers pay. Meanwhile, the CIA bigwigs send Henderson to deal with Charlie. That’s pretty much it.

As Charlie, Malek is quite sympathetic as he processes his grief. You can especially feel his rage when he realizes that Moore is basically in cahoots with his wife’s killers. What we see of his relationship with Sarah - by the way, she pops up in his mind’s eye a few times - is pretty likable. Unfortunately, the script he’s assigned with is the wrong kind of perplexing. It takes nearly an hour before he goes hunting, and the story skips several key steps in his progression. Still, the spy stuff is enjoyable, such as him consulting YouTube for lock-picking early on. 

With the exception of Schiller (Michael Stuhlbarg), the leader and Sarah’s direct killer, the terrorists are pretty bland. Sure, that they killed Sarah makes them bad guys, but what else do they have? Not much else. If you swap their locations in the plot, nothing will change. The only things memorable about them are how they die, especially in that sky-high swimming pool! Then again, they’re basically extensions of Moore, but their villainy is impacted by the pacing issues. It even makes Charlie’s plan for Schiller a bit anti-climactic. 

What else do we have here? Fishburne’s Col. Henderson is quite stern, but he’s much better when he shows sympathy for Charlie’s loss. He’s still likable even as he’s sent after Charlie. Jon Bernthal shows up as “The Bear,” a professional agent who’s mostly just there, but he does have a decent last scene with Charlie. Inquiline, who shows up played by Caitríona Balfe, is quite compelling as she and Charlie bond over their bereavements. Among the technical agents, the best work comes from the nifty location shooting by Martin Ruhe and the moody score by Volker Bertelmann. 

Overall, The Amateur's set-up is pretty interesting, but its execution could have been better. It feels longer than its 123-minutes, but they all lead to a nice resolution for our unlikely hero. I never really paid attention to the original novel and film, but its existence got me to check out both; I'm still interested in both even now. Perplexing, but true. Anyway, I have a much better thriller I want to talk about next time. That review will Drop pretty soon ...

A Minecraft Movie

I lacked a system for any of Mojang's Minecraft video games until I got a Switch in 2022. And when the first trailer came out for its film adaptation, A Minecraft Movie, I still wasn't interested in it. But with my one thousandth - yes, one thousandth - review approaching, I needed some material. So, I decided to give it a shot.

This is a film that shouldn't work. It has a barebones plot and character dynamics that you've probably seen better done in other movies. It also has way too many cooks in the kitchen with six credited writers. But it surprisingly works, most of the time, thanks to its enthusiastic silliness. That much is evident when we're introduced to Steve (Jack Black), who delivers the rather lengthy opening exposition.

It's quite an entertaining yarn as we listen to him wanting to mine his local mine for reasons, which he finally does as an adult. There, he finds two MacGuffins ("This thingy and that cool thingy") that send him to the blocky Overworld. The Overworld lets him build anything he wants, so he builds himself his own town. All is good until he finds the Nether, which is populated by the evil Piglins and their ruler, Malgosha (Rachel House), who hates creativity. She wants the thingies, but Steve sends his loyal wolf, Dennis, to hide them in the real world.

The thingies wind up with has-been gamer Garrett Garrison (Jason Momoa), who ends up in the Overworld with siblings Natalie (Emma Myers) & Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and their realtor Dawn (Danielle Brooks). One of the thingies breaks, but they can find a replacement with Steve's help. Meanwhile, Malgosha sets out to reclaim the thingies so she can conquer the Overworld. Our heroes can't let her do that. Yeah, that's kind of it.

Along the way, Henry & Natalie quarrel & make up; Garrett learns not to be a greedy jerk (but with his game shop getting foreclosed, can you blame him?); and Dawn is mostly there, but she uses her Petting Zoo "side-hustle" during the final battle. What about Steve? Well, Malgosha wants him to retrieve the thingies, so you'd think that he'd turn against our heroes. That never happens, which is kind of a waste. It's all typical stuff, but it's rarely boring thanks to its sense of humor. Director Jared Hess's creative voice is quite strong in this film.

Now for a few other points. It's little surprise that, when Garrett pulls of a heroic sacrifice midway through, that it won't stick. It's quite a surprise, however, to see how he survives it. Black and Momoa go all out with their line deliveries, turning the most basic lines into memorable quotes. Hess, as the Piglin General Chungus, gets the film's funniest lines thanks to his character's laidback personality. Malgosha's last stand is so pitiful that she's almost pitiable. Almost. About the only plot point that annoyed me was a lack of karma for a pair of school bullies. They just slink into the background after they sabotage Henry's makeshift jetpack. Nothing? Okay. 

I didn't know what to make of its aesthetics when I first saw that trailer. The realistic renderings of the game's blocky world looked odd, which was one reason I wasn't interested in it. But the aesthetics not only grew on me by the time I saw the film, but they made sense. Sure, the NPCs, or "Mobs," are bizarre, but some of them are meant to be bizarre, even creepy. Some elements, like chickens getting cooked into whole rotisseries in lava, are rendered hilarious instead of horrifying. It makes sense considering that this is a game world. By the end, I was amazed with the locales, even if the chroma keying wasn't perfect.

What else do we have here? What we see of its in-universe games, particularly Garrett's favorite brawler Hunk City Rampage, might entice one to play them now. The soundtrack features a marvelous score by Mark Mothersbaugh, some bits of original game music, and even a few goofy musical numbers sung by Black. A "pointless" subplot between Henry's Vice-Principal Marlene (Jennifer Coolidge) and the NPC Nitwit is actually amusing. Its adaptation of the crafting mechanics is quite intriguing, even if, as I've heard, it's not accurate to the game. You won't be lost amongst the game references if you've never played the game; one particular easter egg, however, will hit a lot harder if you get it.

Judging by the box-office, I think that A Minecraft Movie has found its audience well. I'm not sure if I have the time for the game, but I'm a bit more mildly curious about it now after this movie. Come check it out to see what all the fuss is about. Hopefully, even if you find it boring, your audience will let you watch it in peace. I'm not sure if it's worth the pandemonium making the news. Time and place, people!

That's it for now.

Death of a Unicorn

What can you expect from a title this straightforward?

Well, everything it has to offer begins on a plane. On this Air Canada flight are the Kintners, Elliot (Paul Rudd) and his daughter Ridley (Jenna Ortega), as they wait to get off to get going. Their destination is the Leopold Estate, whose ailing patriarch Odell (Richard E. Grant), looks to make Elliot his new proxy. Elliot, recently widowed, looks to use Ridley for sympathy points. But, first, Elliot needs to look at the road or else ...

(Bump)

Too late.

Elliot runs over an actual unicorn foal on the way there. The Kintners and their hosts soon realize that the unicorn's purple blood, as well as its horn, can cure anything. So, a freshly invigorated Odell gets his best scientists to work to synthesize the magical ingredients. While the adults see dollar signs, Ridley, who earlier bonded with the dying unicorn, sees it as a bad idea. The unicorn, as it turns out, isn't truly dead, but its larger and angrier parents have ways to permanently kill off everyone on the premises. It's up to Ridley to soothe the unusually savage beasts.

Alex Scharfman, a producer of several short films, makes his feature directorial debut here. It's essentially a slasher film whose killers are the most docile mythological creatures imaginable. It's a great hook, but it takes almost halfway there to get to that point. Its biggest tension during the first act comes from waiting for the inciting incident to happen. Once it does, and boy howdy, watching the unicorn agonize for so long is unbelievably uncomfortable. It's still weirdly funny when it briefly resurrects and thrashes around in Elliot's rental car. The unicorn killers help invigorate the film, but some of their kills are a bit needlessly cruel. Well, maybe not that of Odell's son Shepard (Will Poulter), who gets kicked in the head, but a few comparatively nicer others get worse deaths.

At least the cast gives it there all. The Leopolds maybe unlikeable, but they are weirdly entertaining. It's fun to watch Odell and Shepard ham it up once they partake in unicorn dust. Shepard, in particular, becomes a functional addict, whose swings between insanity and sanity are astounding. Matriarch Belinda (Tea Leoni) is extremely vapid, but she gets some good lines, while her own death is perhaps the cruelest of them all. It does remind you that they're jerks by refusing to allow Ridley to hand over the foal to its parents. Dr. Song (Steve Park), one of their scientists, is overly sesquipedalian, but he's not as callous as his employers. The best character here is Griff (Anthony Carrigan), the family butler and the most sensible man on the entire estate.

Oh wait, I kind of forgot about the Kintners. Ridley, by far, is the most compelling character as she struggles with her mother's recent death and her dad's workaholism. A major subplot has her, an art major, research The Unicorn Tapestries, whose events parallel those of the killing spree. She's understandably frustrated when her findings fall on deaf ears, at least until near the end (and by the wrong person). It doesn't take long to sympathize with her, unlike her oblivious dad, who only redeems himself at the end. It's quite nice to see them reconcile, which gives the audience hope after its ambiguous ending plays out.

The CGI for the unicorns is sometimes too obvious, particularly when we see them in daylight, but it still doesn't detract from the agonizing aftermath of the inciting incident. On the plus side, there's some impressive CGI for the cosmic phenomena the film shows us and the Kintners. There's some pretty good tension once it switches to horror, which is perfectly accentuated by Dan Romer & Giosuè Greco's score. Odell's death, in particular, was easily telegraphed, but it was no less surprising. Those uninterested in deaths by unicorn may find themselves wowed by the Leopolds' impressive estate, or the location filming in the Hungarian wilderness (standing in for Canada). You can thank production designer Amy Williams, and cinematographer Larry Fong, for these artistic creations.

So, what else can I say about Death of a Unicorn? It’s worth seeing at least once just to see its oft-kilter premise in action. It gets a while to get going, but it once it gets going, it goes rather well. It's not an instant horror classic, but it's still a decent matinee. If anything, it's an interesting incentive to learn about The Unicorn Tapestries, even if their history is partially fictionalized here. You'll be impressed with what you'll learn from that research; I was.

But that's it for now.

Snow White

The Classic Story Comes to Life ... AGAIN!

As you may recall, or not, two distinct movies based on Snow White, Mirror Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman, debuted within a few months of each other in 2012. Costume Designers Eiko Ishioka and Colleen Atwood both received Oscar nominations, while Sandy Powell has a fair shot at making next year's lineup for Disney's Snow White. Let's see how Disney's pioneering animated movie does in live-action.

In this film, Snow White (Rachel Zegler) was born during a snowstorm, hence her name. Her goodly parents taught her to be nice, which she tries to do even as her Wicked Stepmother (Gal Gadot) oppresses her people. One day, the Queen's Magic Mirror (Patrick Page) tells Her Evilness that Snow White is the fairest in the land, which doesn't sit well with her. So, she gets her Huntsman (Ansu Kabia) to kill her out in the woods. It's mostly the usual stuff.

But The Huntsman takes pity on Snow White and tells her to run into the spooky woods. There, she comes across the Seven Dwarfs, who mostly welcome her to stay for a night. She also meets Jonathan (Andrew Burnap), who is a Bandit King instead of a Prince Charming, but she still falls for him the same. Unfortunately, the Queen's murderous jealousy is out to spoil the fun. Again, it's mostly the usual.

For the most part, Erin Cressida Wilson's screenplay is a reasonable expansion of the original 1937 film. All of the original film's bullet points are decently expanded upon, giving us a film almost a half-hour longer than its predecessor. For starters, Jonathan has more of a screen presence than Prince Charming, even restoring a subplot Disney's animators couldn't do in the day. He has good chemistry with Snow White, even if it feels a bit like a typical "rogue meets girl" romance. It maybe typical, but it's not a dealbreaker. We also get a surprising narrator, a cruel twist to the poison apple, and a strong soundtrack with new Pasek & Paul songs and catchy renditions of surviving classics.

Sure, Rachel Zegler doesn’t match Snow White’s literary description, but she’s still compelling in the role. Throughout the film, she struggles to be kind in an unkind world, which nearly kills her a few times. Her shock at the Huntsman’s coerced betrayal is devastating. But it’s quite nice to see her kindness rewarded by her citizens. She even wins against the Queen by appealing to her guards’ good nature. Her new “I Want” Song, Waiting on a Wish, neatly epitomizes her good nature, while this film’s rendition of Whistle While You Work gives her a fun number with the Dwarfs. This version of Snow White stands quite nicely alongside her 2D counterpart.

The Dwarfs, on the other hand, are a different story. They're portrayed with motion capture that doesn't quite conquer the uncanny valley, to say the least. It sometimes works, namely when the Dwarfs despair over Snow White's apparent death, but it still feels a bit off. I kept losing track of Sneezy and Happy, multiple times, in the crowd shots, but the rest were easy to figure out. Dopey, in particular, is the best visualized of the Dwarfs. But did they all have to be motion capture?

What else do we have here? The Evil Queen's villain song, All is Fair, is fascinatingly over-the-top, as most villain songs should be. Gadot makes for a decent villain, whether as a young Queen or an old hag, and her villainous breakdown is quite impressive. Jonathan's fellow bandits, on the other hand, are pretty superfluous, save, somewhat, for Quigg (George Appleby) the crossbow enthusiast. The best bit of visual trickery is when, early on, the camera pans down on young Snow White's (Emilia Flaucher) feet, then pans up to show her grown up. All in one shot! Jeff Morrow's score asserts itself splendidly amidst the songs, while the sets and costumes are all nice to look at.

Well, what else can I say? If this new Snow White doesn't appeal to you, I'm sure I can recommend a few other renditions of the fairy tale. In fact, I can point to a few that even pre-date Disney! As for me, this Snow White isn't the greatest film ever made, but it certainly isn't boring. Some may find this unnecessary, along with most of Disney's recent remakes, but it's still a decent time at the movies. And really, there's nothing wrong with that, at all. Nothing.

That's it for now.

The Day the Earth Blew Up

 Eh, what's up Doc?

After over ninety years of silliness, the Looney Tunes finally have their own movie in theatres now. Sure, there were those compilation movies, the Space Jam movies, and other stuff like Looney Tunes: Back in Action. But The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie is the first fully animated movie starring the Tunes themselves. Let's see the silliness that short-sighted corporate greed couldn't kill.

In this set-up, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig (both of them Eric Bauza) were orphans raised together by the kindly Farmer Jim (Fred Tatasciore). Farmer Jim left them his house, and they have done a poor job keeping it together. A snooty inspector, Mrs. Grecht (Laraine Newman), gives them ten days to fix their house or else. She's especially annoyed with the gaping hole in their roof that the fellas somehow didn't notice. 

After a bunch of odd jobs, literally framed like an old cartoon, the fellas get jobs at a gum factory thanks to flavor scientist Petunia Pig (Candi Milo). There, Daffy encounters a peculiar scientist (also Tatasciore) contaminating the gum supply with mysterious green goo. The Substance was brought to Earth by an intergalactic villain, who is only billed as The Invader (Peter MacNicol), to possess the populace by way of the factory’s newest flavor! Porky dismisses Daffy's warnings as lunacy until Petunia gets on the case. How will they get everyone off the gum? What is The Invader's masterplan, and is he actually a bad guy?

A staggering eleven writers were involved in the story. Among them are director Pete Browngardt, the showrunner of the recent Looney Tunes Cartoons, and frequent Cartoon Network writer Darrick Bachman. You might say that's too many cooks in the kitchen, but their end result is a mostly cohesive meal. The silly sci-fi parody they've cooked up has some legitimate jolts, a compelling plot, and some great gags that pay off by the end. There are a few crass jokes, but The Invader's evil scheme is delightfully looney. His true intentions, however, might have you asking some logistical questions. But then again, there wouldn't be a movie if everyone made smart choices, right?

Daffy and Porky's dynamic helps sustain its 91-minute runtime. Porky is exasperated by Daffy's lunacy, to the point Porky covertly benches Daffy from the alien fighting, but the invasion gives them a chance to help work out their relationship. In fact, their emotional reconciliation is just what they need to escape captivity near the end! It's quite moving when they comfort each other as they face certain death in the climax. It's no secret that they survive, but you'll have to see how they do it. Their money problems are also solved by a rather nice and silly deus-ex machina.

What else can I say about it? Farmer Jim is both an effective parody and an effective example of kindly deceased backstory characters. Porky and Petunia are a great couple, especially when they team-up to roast the alien parasites spawned from the infected gum. Its aforementioned jolts come from these parasites, who are not only icky, but are vocalized with some strong sound effects. The Invader's grandiose personality is fun to watch, while the nameless scientist's best scenes are when he's possessed. I could tell that kindly waitress Maude is a cameo, but not by whom. I found out later that she is voiced by Ruth Clampett, daughter of legendary director Bob. I must say it's a great one-scene role. Finally, the 2D animation is nothing short of outstanding, and it's accentuated perfectly by Joshua Moshier's grand score.

Believe it or not, there's quite a bit I haven't divulged in this review, but I should stop before I give them away. You'll have to see what happens The Day the Earth Blew Up wherever you can. I think you'd be surprised at how well it sustains its silliness for so long. Perhaps its success - it was made for $15 million - might convince someone to save Coyote v Acme from corporate oblivion. Perhaps. If not, oh well, but at least we have this movie. And with that ...

That's All Folks.

Mickey 17

If things were different last year, I would have talked about Mickey 17, Bong Joon-ho's follow-up to his Oscar-winning Parasite. Instead, it got bounced around several times, mainly due to the double strikes. The wait is finally over, so let's see what it is all about.

In yet another crummy future, Mickey Barnes (Robert Pattinson) and his "pal," Timo (Steven Yeun), find themselves in debt to the mob after their macaron business goes under. They immediately sign up for an expedition to the arctic planet Niflheim, which is populated by giant mole/pillbugs called Creepers. Mickey signs up as an Expendable, a human guinea pig who lives to die and get cloned, over and over again. Both this film and its source novel, Edward Ashton's Mickey7, should tell you how many times it's happened.

The film begins in medias res with Mickey's seventeenth death. He's fallen down an icy crevice, surrounded by Creepers, while Timo, an expedition pilot, is semi-reluctantly unable to help. No hope, right? Instead, the Creepers help him out, and he returns to his quarters ... where he meets Mickey 18. Since "Multiples" are illegal, both Mickeys try to live out the most unusual double life ever. Meanwhile, expedition leader and "former congressman" Kenneth Marshall (Mark Ruffalo) decides to wipe out the Creepers. The Creepers get ready for war after a stowaway youngling is killed. It's up to the Mickeys to save the day.

Bong's screenplay mines Mickey's profession for very dark laughs. One Mickey dies within minutes of being printed; another dies of radiation poisoning, but not before getting literally unhanded by space debris; another is a literal crash dummy. Through it all, nearly everyone is so blasé about the expendable life. He's even asked, "what's it like to die?" like it's a normal profession. A flashback to one of his deaths, however, is genuinely moving. It's also quite creepy when it brings up a serial killer and his multiples. It only really strained under its 137-minutes when Mickey has a nightmare during its final stretch.

If the dark humor isn't appealing, try Pattinson's double act. Mickey 17 is cartoonishly nerdy but still likable, even pitiable thanks to a traumatic incident in his past (which is brushed aside at the end, but still). Mickey 18, meanwhile, is Mickey if he wasn't so blasé about dying all the time, which is rightfully angry. Pattinson's characterizations make it easy to tell them apart when both share the screen. It feels so normal, rather than a product of special effects, to see them together. The double Mickeys excite their girlfriend, Nasha (Naomi Ackie) and security officer Kai (Anamaria Vartolomei), which leads to some hilarity.

Let's get in depth with some of the supporting players. Ruffalo's Marshall is mostly a dimwitted, yet particularly pleasant, politician before the movie reminds you how loathsome he is halfway-through. Still, his very familiar cadence might give the endgame away long beforehand. The same goes for his wife, Ylfa (Toni Collette), who is dead set on exploiting the Creepers' culinary potentials. Kai is a decent character, but her other love interest, Jennifer (Ellen Robertson), doesn't get much screentime before she bites it. Nasha, meanwhile, is quite enjoyable, especially when she helps the Mickeys save the day. Yeun's Timo is an entertaining coward, while Tim Key has perhaps the weirdest side character as a guy in a Pigeon suit.

Besides the double act, the technical work is outstanding all around. Early on, a "mild" sandstorm rocks a spaceport, which gets one thinking about the state of future Earth. The colony ship and Niflheim exemplify the best of Fiona Crumbie's production design. The cinematography by Dharius Khondji helps accentuate the dystopian look rather well, no matter the locale. The Creepers are visualized with great CGI, while an excellent sound design gives them some sufficiently unbearable shrieks. A bit more bearable sounds come when the Mickeys converse with the Creeper Queen (Anna Mouglalis) with a translator. The best sounds come from composer Jung Jae-il, whose score goes from melancholic to cartoonishly silly.

Mickey 17's central double act helps make it an entertaining sci-fi satire. A few plot points could have been explained better, but its overall plot is perfectly clear. This might make a good double feature with Starship Troopers once it comes to home media in a few months. It currently makes for a good time at the movies. Look elsewhere if you want something lighter. In fact, there is a lighter sci-fi comedy coming this weekend. That review is coming soon.

Ne Zha 2

Ne Zha 2, the sequel to China's biggest animated blockbuster, Ne Zha, recently one-upped its predecessor by becoming the biggest animated blockbuster period: $2 billion and counting. An American filmgoer, however, wouldn't notice it unless they looked up their local showtimes. It's been playing a few weeks near me, but my busy schedule kept me from watching it until now. Let's see what it's all about.

In the first film, Ne Zha (Lü Yanting), a crass demon boy, and Ao Bing (Han Mo), the Dragon Prince of the Eastern Sea, both incarnated from two MacGuffin pearls, became best buddies, but lost their mortal bodies to divine lightning (long story). Fortunately, Ne Zha's bumbling Shifu Taiyi Zhenren (Zhang Jiaming), makes them new bodies out of lotus paste. Unfortunately, papa dragon Ao Guang (Li Nan/Yu Chen), seeking vengeance for his son's apparent death, unleashes his maritime demons upon Ne Zha's hometown, Chentang Pass. Ao Bing loses his new body defending the town. That's just within the first twenty minutes!

During its remaining two hours, Ao Bing's spirit moves into Ne Zha's body, while Ne Zha seeks out a magic potion that will help restore Ao Bing's lost body. He can only get the potion if he completes three trials for the elder Immortal Wuliang (Wang Deshun), all of which involve hunting demons. Ao Bing has to take the wheel for these trials, which is easier said than done. But overall, it's all well and good, until Ne Zha and Ao Bing uncover a divine conspiracy brewing. Everyone got that?

It might help if the subtitles were better. I’m normally a fast reader, so I can comprehend subtitles, but since several sentences here are broken up into chunks, their subtitles go by way too fast. I'd be reading one subtitle, only for the next one to pop up instantaneously. There's also the occasional grammar error or two, but that's not too distracting. It's pretty nifty, though, that the subtitles are bilingual, which makes the wicked Shen Gongbao's (Yang Wei) stutter especially noticeable. A few more subtitles introduce us to everyone and everything, which is a lot of names.

It might also help you if you've already seen the first movie, which I don't think ever played near me, or read up on The Investiture of the Gods, the literary classic both films are based on. You'll still get a basic understanding of its characters and their relationships, whether it involves Ne Zha and Ao Bing's friendship, or Ne Zha's relationship with his human parents. Ne Zha, in particular, has a hilariously crude sense of humor, but you'll still admire his sense of goodness. That makes it quite a gut punch when the divine conspiracy destroys his hometown. Still, its emotional climax works best if you've followed his story throughout these two movies. 

During the movie, Shen Gongbao suffers from some personal losses which, combined with a tell-tale weapon, leads us to believe he will be the final boss. But a flashback reveals that he is actually a stalwart anti-villain. The actual villain, meanwhile, has a believable nice guy act, but you'll especially believe how much he relishes in his evilness. His co-conspirators, meanwhile, have some excellent voice work to match their appealing character designs. As loathsome as some of them are, it's still satisfying when they become the butt of a few jokes, particularly during the mid-credits. That scene has a few surprises, too ...

If there's one reason to check out this movie, it's the scale. Although it's not playing in IMAX, I could still comprehend the magnitude of its swarms of white-robed immortals on a normal-sized big screen. During the final battle, they crowd together on a giant tree, where they appear as blossoms from a distance. It's quite a sight, as is the film's overall production design. Yuliang's palace makes for another memorable locale. Its excellently visualized fight scenes are accentuated by an equally great sound design, as well as a magnificent score from composers Roc Chen, Rui Yang & Wan Pin Chu. Keep in mind that the bulk of the film's runtime is devoted to that final battle. 

As of now, Ne Zha 2 is no longer playing in a theatre near me. Despite my issues with it, I'm pretty pleased that I didn't waste the opportunity. This technically magnificent tale of gods and demons has already gotten me interested in seeing it again. The original is readily available, even officially via YouTube, so I can check it out in the meantime. I invite you to take the opportunity, too. It might be an interesting experience.

Nickel Boys

The Oscars are tomorrow, but I haven’t seen all of the Best Picture nominees.

That exception is I’m Still Here, which still hasn’t shown up on streaming, and will only play in a theatre near me next weekend. It most likely won’t win Best Picture, but it’s still in the running for Best International Feature and Best Actress; that might be three categories whose winners I’ll have missed.

I’ll just get to the last of the nominees I can get to. Nickel Boys, based on Colson Whitehead’s novel The Nickel Boys, just premiered on MGM Plus yesterday. Let’s finally see how it is.

It's 1966 in Tallahassee. Elwood Curtis (Ethan Herisse) is a studious young man raised by his grandma, Hattie (Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor). His future seems bright after his teacher, Mr. Hill (Jimmie Fails) gets him a free spot at a major study program. Unfortunately, he accidentally hitches a ride with a car thief and is arrested as an accomplice. He's sentenced to Nickel Academy, a reform school modeled after the real-life Arthur G. Dozier School for Boys. Elwood, and his fellow Black students, are used by the staff for slave labor, while their actual education leaves a lot to be desired. They'll even punish students for getting bullied!

Elwood, an avid follower of Martin Luther King Jr., refuses to let the system break him. His only friend, Turner (Brandon Wilson), meanwhile, does his best to keep his head low and advises Elwood to do the same. Eventually, Elwood’s idealism, as well as a visit from Hattie, erodes Turner’s cynicism. Will they survive Nickel together? Sure, we gradually see an adult Elwood (Daveed Diggs) looking up news stories of Nickel's crimes. But how foregone is that conclusion?

RaMell Ross, the Oscar-nominated director of the documentary Hale County This Morning, This Evening, makes his narrative debut here. He and his collaborator, Joslyn Barnes, tell their story by way of Jomo Fray's first-person cinematography. When I first heard of this approach, I thought it was to facilitate the story's climactic twist, but that's partially true. For most of the film, this approach helps us share in our leads' good and bad times, whether it's Hattie hugging Turner, or Elwood getting tortured in the "White House" (which is kept sound only). It also switches between Elwood and Turner multiple times and even plays their first meeting twice from each perspective. Both are essentially the narrators, by way of pictures, and both are equally compelling protagonists.

Besides those perspectives, Fray captures some stunning imagery. None are more stunning than a journey from inside a boxcar; it's truly something else to watch the seasons zip by. It sometimes gets surreal, such as when an alligator drops by in class, which no one even notices. Even its more "mundane" scenes are made indelible by the warm lighting. Nickel may be bleak, which is conveyed excellently by Nora Mendis's sets, but there is still some hope. Meanwhile, editors Alex Somers & Scott Alario's use of stock footage brings us some jarring results, but it makes more sense as the film goes on.

Who else do they see? Hattie is the kind of woman who will treat anyone as kindly as her grandson. As such, you'll feel for her when she tells Elwood that their lawyer cheated her. Anything else might give the twist away. Griff (Luke Tennie), one of the tough guys, is quite pitiable when he inadvertently angers the cruel superintendent Mr. Spencer (Hamish Linklater). Harper (Fred Hechinger) spends most of the film as one of the nicer staff members, up until the end. Mrs. Hardee (Lucy Faust), the wife of the school's director, is only in two scenes, but she's relatively nice. The late Taraja Ramsess makes quite an impression as Rodney, Elwood's Bad Samaritan. 

Nickel Boys is an unforgettable exercise in visual storytelling. It's also a long movie, at 140 minutes, which my busy schedule forced me to watch in two sittings. Still, watching its two compelling leads will help the time go by. Just be prepared for that climactic twist. With that out of the way, it's time to sit back and watch the results of tomorrow's show. On to a new movie year.

The 97th Oscar Documentary Shorts

While everyone's making their Oscar predictions, I'll make one of the few that's actually guaranteed. I can guarantee that I'll have watched all of this year's nominees ... if not for the Documentary Feature category.

You see, most other critics have gravitated towards No Other Land, a film that is barely available theatrically due to its heavy subject matter. I could make an Amazon UK account to rent it, since it's available there, but I'd rather not. Porcelain War, meanwhile, was available theatrically near me, but I got lazy. The rest I'm not sure on.

Anyway, I didn't skip out on this year's theatrical package of nominated Documentary Shorts. Here they are:

Instruments of a Beating Heart (Director: Ema Ryan Yamazaki): At the end of her school year, first grader Ayame earns a spot in the ensemble of Bethoven's Ode to Joy in their school's upcoming entrance ceremony. As the cymbal, Ayame is expected to be a piece of her class's unified heart. She nearly falls apart from stress during the rehearsal process. As a part of the larger documentary, The Making of a Japanese, this short also gives you an interesting look into Japanese school life, particularly when it's affected by that pandemic.

I've seen quite a few reviews comparing this to Whiplash, but as hard as Ayame's music teacher is, he's thankfully nowhere near as brutal as Terence Fletcher. His reprimanding of her for her lack of practice is harsh, but that's balanced by eventual kindness from him. On a lighter note, it's quite cutesy watching her classmates support each other and eventually her. Her homeroom teacher's encouragement is especially heartwarming. Her eventual triumph is quite a crowd-pleaser, especially given the mostly heavy shorts to follow. 

Incident (Director: Bill Morrison): The 2018 police shooting of Harith "Snoop" Augustus, as shown on multiple bodycam and surveillance videos. It plays the actual incident in deafening silence, three times in fact, before it abruptly switches to sound for the aftermath. Although the officers involved feared for their lives, you'll be doubting their story by the second playthrough. Their cold, almost callous, justifications will leave you indignant as an angry crowd gathers around them (this was in the midst of a trial for another police shooting!). That barely changes when the third, and closest playthrough, happens in the closing moments. It might want to leave things ambiguous, but that playthrough lays bare the recklessness of that incident. I think I said enough.

I am Ready, Warden (Director: Smriti Mundhra): The last days of John Henry Ramirez, who was executed in 2022 for the 2004 murder of convenience-store worker Pablo Castro. The short chronicles his life before and after the murder, as well as a few people in his life. The titular statement, in case you're interested, are his last words.

It doesn't try to sugarcoat Ramirez's crime, as he contritely admits that he was messed up before it happened. His spiritual advisor, Jan Trujilo, and the district attorney, Mark Gonzalez, acknowledge it too as they tried to commute his sentence to life. You'll sympathize with Ramirez as much as Castro's son, Aaron, who understandably refuses to forgive him until the emotionally devastating climax. The actual sentence doesn't leave Aaron with any satisfaction; in fact, he mourns Ramirez as much as his dad. As much as Ramirez took away all that his dad could have been, the crime took away all that Ramirez could have been. That's sure to complicate any iron-clad support for the death penalty. 

The Only Girl in the Orchestra (Director: Molly O'Brien): Molly's aunt, Orin O'Brien, was the first woman to play in the New York Philharmonic, joining in 1966 as a double bassist under the direction of Leonard Bernstein himself. She retired in 2021, so Molly, her last living relative, made this short. All of this is set to an exquisite soundtrack by Laura Karpman.

It's another portrait of a fascinating life. She tells us she never sought the spotlight, which is why she took to the double bass, but it shines brightly all the same. We learn of her childhood as the daughter of movie stars George O'Brien and Marguerite Churchill, her "trailblazing" first years at the Philharmonic and her music classes in the present day. Her folksy humility is most evident with her warm relationships with her students and Molly. When they organize her retirement party, Orin wishes she brought more pumpkin bread.

Perhaps her most profound anecdote is of her father, desperate for work, accepting the villain role in Cheyenne Autumn. It's a bit more humorous when she rebukes some casually sexist write-ups from her day (They helped her with her luggage? No, they didn't.). It's all interesting stuff, and by the end, you'll be left wanting to learn more. 

Death by Numbers (Director: Kim A. Snyder): Sam Fuentes, a survivor of the Parkland School shooting, prepares to face her attacker at his sentencing. Her opening narration runs down the statistics related to the attack, including her own. She vows to remember them along with her attacker (whose face is scribbled out until the end).

Her narration, taken from her journal entries, paints a vivid picture of her recovery. Her physical and mental trauma are extensive, especially highlighted when we see her wounded face that day. It's quite profound when she highlights of her classmates, some of whom took the stand, while a few others took their lives. Equally profound is the focus on her teacher, Ivy Schamis, who's introduced visiting another of her student's memorial garden. Her own testimony is quite devastating.

As much as Sam hates her attacker, she acknowledges that the death penalty wouldn't work either. The financial resources, she says, are better spent elsewhere. That doesn't stop her from eviscerating his delusions of grandeur during her victim impact statement. It's narratively cathartic, but we're still left hoping that it helped her recovery even if somewhat. Overall, you won't forget Sam Fuentes and her story when it's all said and done.

That's it for this year's bunch of nominated shorts. Let's see how they do on Sunday.

September 5

I've been having some back pain recently. This was why my January wasn't as productive as I wanted it to be. In particular, this is why I skipped out on September 5 when it played theatrically last month. Well, now that my back is mostly healed, I'm finally able to check it out for myself on MGM +. Let's go.

It's September 5th, 1972, and the Summer Olympics are underway in Munich. Roone Arledge (Peter Sarsgaard), president of ABC Sports, ends a seemingly ordinary night shift. As producer Geoffrey Mason (John Magaro) takes over, the crew seemingly hear gunshots coming from the nearby Olympic Village. They soon get word that the terrorist group, Black September, has taken the Israeli Olympic Team hostage, and have already killed two of their members. Arledge gets back to work, while Mason gets his crew ready to cover the crisis. But will their efforts make things worse?

Unlike Steven Spielberg's Munich, which depicted the attack in its opening, the Oscar-nominated screenplay co-written by director Tim Fehlbaum keeps it all off-screen. We're kept inside ABC headquarters as the situation develops only a few blocks away. Among their issues, Mason and his crew struggle for pivotal satellite privileges, sneak crewmember Gary Slaughter (Daniel Adesoun) into the Olympic Village and scramble to get the ever-changing word out. Its opening moments show them cover swimmer Mark Spitz's victory on the last normal day of the Games. It's all pretty fascinating to watch in case you want to know how a TV newsroom works. 

What glimpses we get of the crisis, from the gunshots to the televised masked man on the balcony, are sufficiently ominous. While Mason and Alredge see a major news story, operations manager Marvin Bader (Ben Chaplin) sees a developing tragedy. Their differences are exemplified when they argue over the prospect of showing live violence. Later on, the crew realizes that if practically everyone is watching their coverage, then so are the militants. This gets them visited by understandably angry German police almost immediately. None of these scenes are as tense as the finale, when the crew inadvertently report the exact wrong news. The dramatic irony of the moment is immense, as is Mason's ensuing emotional devastation.

What else do we have here? Bader has a decent rapport with the crew's translator, Marianne Gebhardt (Leonie Benesch). Their early conversation over the state of post-war Germany is quite memorable. Jim McKay, who famously anchored the coverage, mostly appears in stock footage along with future anchor Peter Jennings. Outside of it, McKay is played by stand-in Matthias Schum, while Jennings is played by Benjamin Walker. The editing by Hansjörg Weißbrich helps makes the switches seamless. For some reason, I didn't notice Lorenz Dangel's score until the start of the crisis. It's an unusual mistake, and quite perplexing, given that his opening track in the control room is nice and exciting. The rest of the score is perfectly tense.

I saw Munich years ago, but I vividly remember McKay's declaration of the outcome: "They're all gone." That memory was still fresh as I saw September 5's perspective of that day in 1972. What will especially stick with me this time is the coda, in which Mason walks out the building alone, sobered by the day's events. The epilogue, which tells us the coverage got more viewers than Apollo 11, helps us think about the price of sensationalism. 

Both this film and Munich might make for an interesting double feature. But I'll leave it to you to watch one, the other or something a lot more light-hearted. As for me, I got to get ready for I have something mentally challenging to do: this year's Oscar-nominated Documentary Shorts. That review's coming up soon.