Red One

Do you want to show your kids the ultimate Christmas action movie? Wait a few years and show them Die Hard. Do you want to show them a Christmas action movie that's actually appropriate for them? I guess there's no harm in showing them Red One. Let's get going.

Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) is Santa's (JK Simmons) top ELF (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification) agent. Callum isn't happy that the naughty list keeps getting bigger and bigger every year. So, as much as it pains him, he decides to retire after this Christmas. But wouldn't you know it? A commando strike team takes Santa right on Christmas Eve.

It seems Santa's location was compromised by Jack O'Malley (Chris Evans), a hacker and a long time Santa-denier. He had no idea he was tracking Red One himself, so Callum takes him to find his anonymous benefactor. It turns out to be some guy in Bermuda, who himself has his own benefactor. That would be Grýla the Christmas Witch (Kiernan Shipka), who has an extreme idea to enforce the naughty list. They don't have much time to save Christmas. But they will.

The screenplay by Chris Morgan is a bit of a mixed bag. A few performers, like Johnson and Lucy Liu (as the Nick Furyish Zoe), take their often-silly dialogue pretty seriously. It's a funny contrast, that's for sure. Jack, meanwhile, starts off so cartoonishly mean that he takes candy from a baby! Eventually, we learn he hates himself for being an absent dad to his son, Dylan (Wesley Kimmel), but that doesn't gel well with his intro. In fact, it's hard to care whenever the film legitimately tries to be serious. Those efforts are fine, but they aren't that compelling, save one. That's when Callum regains his Christmas Spirit in the finale when he watches Jack and Dylan reconcile. That was actually nice.

The film's technical highlight comes when Jack and Callum visit Santa's estranged brother, Krampus (Kristofer Hivju). Krampus, along with his demonic guests, are all rendered with fantastic prosthetic makeup supervised by Joel Harlow. You won't forget the tengu, that's for sure! It also helps that Krampus is the film's most entertaining character, especially when he later saves the day. The chanting gargoyles that adorn his castle are an excellent addition to the sound design. Let's not forget his castle, in general, as it's a great feat of production design.

What else does it have? The film's idea of trolls is quite amusing in how they climb the uncanny valley. The portal network of toy store supply closets is a neat gag. Gryla is a decent villain, but I don't buy into her attempt at being a well-intentioned extremist. Her unambiguous villainy exponentially dulls her points. Her final form is a somewhat unimpressive CGI monster, but her brutish snowmen are a bit better. Callum's toy upsizer is a nifty gadget, while we see plenty more when Santa makes his climactic Christmas run. It's especially amusing when we see Santa go to lightspeed. There's also a decent score by Henry Jackman along with a good selection of classic Christmas songs. I think that sums it up.

Red One was produced for Amazon Prime, and it's only a matter of time before it unwraps there. In the meantime, it is worth checking out for its earnest absurdity, even if that gets in the way of actual earnestness. There's no harm in going to Red One if you just want an easy matinee. If you want a new holiday classic, I highly recommend you seek out The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. At least, if you can find it. 

That's it for now.