Megalopolis

Despite any criticisms I may have about Megalopolis, the sci-fi epic that Francis Ford Coppola spent forty-five years and $120 million developing, I can at least say that it's his movie. There's no way you can mistake it for anyone else's. Do I have anything else positive about it?

Yes, I do. The film looks good. In Coppola's "fable," the city of New York is instead the city of New Rome, which is visualized with some impressive set design. Its version of Madison Square Garden is practically the Coliseum, while protagonist Cesar Catalina's (Adam Driver) office is as elaborate as Edward Carrere's work on The Fountainhead. Cesar's favorite hangout is atop the Chrysler Building, and the digital view above the city is worth the price of admission. Milena Canonero's costume designs, particularly the Classically inspired wardrobes of Society's elites, are as weirdly interesting as those in Bram Stoker's Dracula. What about the story they inhabit?

Well, much like The Fountainhead's Howard Roark, Cesar is an innovative architect hamstrung by regressive elites. He's the inventor of Megalon, a substance that can do anything, and he wants to use it to reshape New Rome into his utopia of Megalopolis. Mayor Franklin Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito) and his inner circle refuse to consider Megalon, believing it to be unsafe. Unfortunately for Cicero, his daughter Julia (Nathalie Emmanuel) falls for the rogue architect. Oh, did I mention that Cesar can stop time? He can, because of course he can, and the accompanying visual effects are pretty neat.

There are plots aplenty throughout its 138-minutes. Cesar's jealous cousin Clodio Pulcher (Shia LeBeouf) rallies the common folks against Cesar. Their uncle Crassus (Jon Voight) is a bit more supportive, but his new wife, and Cesar's ex-mistress, Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza), plots with Clodio against Crassus and Cesar. Cesar's Megalon has a terrible secret, but that's invalidated by Cicero's own secret. A Soviet Satellite crashes into New Rome, but it's barely an afterthought once it happens. All the while, Cesar's personal assistant Fundi Romaine (Laurence Fishburne), narrates about the fall of society, or something.

Subtlety, what is that? The characters bluntly exposit about the film's themes and their motivations. Romaine opens the film by comparing modern America with Rome just before its fall. To drive the point home, Cesar imagines a bunch of statues collapsing from exhaustion. It doesn't take much effort to recognize Wow Platinum (yes, that's a name!) as a social-climbing femme fatale. It does take effort, however, to keep up with the plot when it essentially rambles along. It's particularly noticeable in the final stretch, but a few scenes beforehand are either way long or oddly edited. We see Nush Berman (Dustin Hoffman), Cicero's fixer, get killed, likely during the satellite crash, but that moment comes way late and out of context. The film was conceived as an update of the real-life Catalinarian Conspiracy, but even that context is lost in the shuffle.

What can I say about the characters? Cesar spends a good portion of his first big speech reciting Hamlet, and later argues with Julia over his use of the word "entitle." He's a bit of a stiff, but she's decently compelling as she rebels against her father. Speaking of which, it's pretty hard to care about the start of Cicero's Heel-Face Turn later on. Clodio hams it up so much as if LaBeouf was auditioning for The Joker (I'd think he'd be a good choice). It's quite noticeable when Clodio chastises his stooge, Huey (Bailey Ives), for a brazen assassination attempt on Cesar. It's unintentionally funny when Crassus turns the tables on Clodio and Wow's treachery. This is a massive cast, and some names get lost in the shuffle; among those who aren't include Talia Shire as Cesar's mom, and Kathryn Hunter as Cicero's wife. 

Megalopolis's narrative and tone goes all over the place. However, it's still a fascinating mess thanks to its production design and weirdest flights of fancy. It may be worth a watch if you're in the right mindset, but beware, its bouts of rambling may feel longer than its entire production cycle. Several books, including Simon Braund's The Greatest Movies You'll Never See, documented Megalopolis before it finally came to be. Those accounts are well worth the read, even if you come out of the movie unimpressed. That's it for now.