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This is the blog where I talk about the latest movies I've seen. These are my two Schnauzers, Rufus (left) and Marley (right, RIP). As of now, the Double Hollywood Strikes are officially over. May the next strikes not last as long as these ones did.

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Pinocchio Double Feature Part 1: Disney

Last year, I concluded my review of Pinocchio with this:

Oh yeah, and there's also two other versions in development. One is being developed by Guillermo Del Toro for Netflix; the other by Robert Zemeckis for Disney +. Expect a few workarounds if and when I get to them.

That opportunity came yesterday. Both films in one day. Here's the Disney Plus version:

Zemeckis's version transplants Disney's 1940 film into live action. As usual, Geppetto (Tom Hanks) builds himself a puppet boy named Pinocchio that comes alive. The little wooden head (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) is a gullible puppet who needs some guidance. So, the Blue Fairy (Cynthia Erivo) appoints Jiminy Cricket (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) as his official conscience. Pinocchio gets led astray by Honest John (Keegan Michael-Key) on his first day of school to Stromboli's (Giuseppe Battiston) puppet theater. Geppetto sets off to look for Pinocchio, who looks for Geppetto once he escapes Stromboli. Pinocchio needs to prove himself a brave and selfless puppet before he can be a real boy.

Writers Chris Weitz and Simon Farnaby don't stray far from the original animated film. Pinocchio witnessing Lampwick turning donkey even recycles the original scene word for word. It doesn't recycle its nightmare fuel, unfortunately. A few new plot elements are underutilized. In this version, Pinocchio is carved in the likeness of Geppetto's late son; too bad we don't have flashbacks of them together. The most annoying is the lopsided long arm of the law. Stromboli is arrested off-screen for his cruelty, but not Pleasure Island's coachman (Luke Evans) for his donkey racket, too. Pinocchio gets roped into Pleasure Island almost immediately after escaping Stromboli. I'll discuss more gripes later on.

Now for a few cast members. Hanks, as usual, is a nice old man as Geppetto. Ainsworth's Pinocchio gets his best moment when he recoils from the raucousness of Pleasure Island. But he frequently springs back to chipper with confusing speed. The Coachman is perfectly creepy, even more so than in the 1940 film. That's what makes his karma houdini especially annoying. Gordon-Levitt is pretty good as Jiminy and is unrecognizable with his impression of Cliff Edwards. The film's funniest moment is the opening where Jiminy the narrator argues with Jiminy the character. Wish the film had more of that. A few new characters, Sophia the Seagull (Lorraine Bracco) and Fabiana the Puppeteer (Kyanne Lamaya) are fine.  But the best performance is Key's, who is perfectly grandiose as Honest John and his rendition of Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee is stellar. It also helps that Honest John is the best animated and composited CGI character in the entire film.

Whereas The Lion King had stunning photorealistic animals and inert character acting, its titular character has good character acting and painfully obvious CGI. He doesn't mesh well with the real world. A few other shots, including one of Jiminy in the climax, stick out like a sore thumb, too. Pinocchio and Lampwick's tour through Pleasure Island loses some luster with its length. It still gets points for inventiveness (a gondola ride that connects to a Ferris Wheel, takes them through a slide and a candy mountain, among others). Alan Silvestri's score is especially great in the climax and his renditions of the original film songs are perfect. His new songs with Glenn Ballard are fine, with the Coachman's being the best.

Pinocchio is still on Disney Plus along with the 1940 film. I don't think that this film will become as cherished as its ancestor. Its story plays second banana to its imperfect visual style. That's probably why the donkey racket isn't as unnerving as the original film (or even the recent Italian film). It'll make an OK home matinee but not much else. Stick around for part two of this double feature for a version that will stick with you beyond one matinee.

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