Eternals

Jack Kirby's Marvel Super Heroes have been movie stars many times over. It's time for one of his most obscure sets to make their movie debuts. The Eternals, loosely inspired by Chariots of the Gods, are visualized by Chloe Zhao as her follow-up to her Oscar wins for Nomadland. I've a few issues with this film. But this is nowhere near the dumpster fire some of its most negative critics peg it as.

Who are The Eternals? They were created by the Celestial Arishem - basically God - to fight the monstrous Deviants. Led by the motherly Ajak (Selma Hayek), their ranks include the superperfect Ikaris (Richard Madden), the illusionist Sprite (Lia McHugh), the inventor Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), the superfast Makkari (Lauren Ridloff), the fireball shooting Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani), the mind-controlling Druig (Barry Keoghan), the superstrong Gilgamesh (Don Lee), the warrior Thena (Angelina Jolie) and the central character, the transmuting Sersi (Gemma Chan). Their Anti-Deviant crusade got them to inspire myths, legends and advancements in human technology. But they're not supposed to get involved unless Deviants show up. They split up just after they kill the last Deviants, right as the Aztecs fall.

Everybody got that?

Anyway, the Eternals get back together when Deviants show up again. They find Ajak dead, so there's that. They spend most of the film's 157 minutes getting back together and reminiscing about their long history. They eventually learn the awful truth of their existence. There's also a Celestial, Tiamut, awaiting to emerge; once he does, no more Earth. So the Eternals have to stop that from happening. Though not everyone's on board with it.

The screenplay feels like the longest episode of Star Trek ever. And that's not an insult. There's plenty of philosophizing as the Eternals debate their place on Earth. Druig wants to solve conflicts by mind-control, Phastos is gutted by humanity's violent advancements, Sprite hates being young forever and Ikaris's undying loyalty to Arishem causes problems. It's an intriguing philosophical discussion. There's a lot to take in between the exposition and the philosophy.

The massive ensemble makes the massive runtime worth it. We get plenty of great character moments as The Eternals get the band back together. A highlight is Karun (Harish Patel), Kingo's valet, a great comic relief and sympathetic human character amongst gods. Sersi and Sprite's stories are captivating, while Ikaris is an understandable antagonist. You might have to keep notes on a few characters' names.

It nearly kneecaps itself with Kro (Bill Skarsgaard), the Deviant leader, who feels like an after-thought. It doesn't dwell on his motivations too long and he's simply killed in battle. He's a nobody caught up in inter-God conflict. It's a pity considering there's a decent spark in his story.

Zhao's technical Marvels are more than well-suited for the job. Its strongest visual effects are The Celestials, who are nightmarishly huge and awe-inspiringly colorful. Tiamut's aborted emergence alone warrants another Oscar nomination. Cinematographer Ben Davis and Production Designer Eve Stewart visualize plenty of amazing international spots across the years. Costume Designer Sammy Sheldon provides the Eternals with a stunning wardrobe. Ramin Djwadi's thoughtful and epic score is just as great as his work on Iron Man. Plenty of choices for the Oscars here.

Eternals' massive runtime is not easy to get through. Its slow plot could've been kickstarted a bit more. But its equally huge cast gives it their all. Its esoteric philosophy is an interesting one. The technical crew fail to disappoint on any scale. Overall, perhaps a few years will give it another chance. 

It ends on quite the cliffhanger. There's no sequel planned yet, but perhaps they'll come back in Thor: Love and Thunder or Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3. Its mid-credit scene introduces a few characters, one with a surprising relation and actor. Its end-credit scene briefly introduces, as a voice, a much anticipated character waiting for his MCU debut.