The Mummy

INT. MUSEUM - ANCIENT EGYPT WING

JETHRO walks around when he finds a MUMMY walking around.

JETHRO (nonplussed): Mummy, may I say something?

MUMMY: Yes, you may.

JETHRO: Rita Repulsa was scarier than you.

The Mummy chases him around. Jethro gives him the slip. The Mummy goes back into his sarcophagus.

JETHRO: Something like that.

Universal Studios went back to its ghoulery of monster movies for its latest financial crutch franchise. They've rebranded their classic ghouls and ghosts under the name Dark Universe. Their first resurrected ghoul is The Mummy, which already has a Brendan Fraser film series in distant memory. What does this have to make it a series? I don't know.

So the mummy herself is Princess Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella) of Egypt. She was supposed to be the next Queen, but when she got a baby half-brother, she went all familicide. She also sold her soul to the god Set, who gave her a MacGuffin dagger to use to give him a human host. She got mummified alive and buried in Mesopotamia under ancient lock-and-key before she could use it, though.

Eons later, Mesopatamia is Iraq and a drone strike opens up Ahmanet's tomb. Treasure Hunters/Mercenaries/Thieves/Scoundrels Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) and Chris Vail (Jake Johnson) called the air support during a brutal firefight. Nick breaks Ahmanet's seal while archaeologist Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) explains the unorthodox tomb preparation. They load up the sarcophagus on the next cargo plane out of Egypt. On the flight, a zombie Vail goes stab-crazy while a murder of crows wrecks the flight. Nick gives Jenny a parachute out while he goes down.

Nick's still alive. He's now psychically linked to Ahmanet because he broke the seal. Her endgame is to use him to be Set's human host. She sets out to drain the life force from folks in the meantime. She also wants that dagger back. Jenny's part of a monster hunting organization that can stop The Mummy. It's called Prodigium and its leader is Dr. Henry Jekyll (Russell Crowe).

Alex Kurtzman, co-writer and/or producer of many a blockbuster, such as Transformers and Ender's Game, gets to direct one of his own. It's not, however, his directorial debut; that honor goes to the box office dud People Like Us. Let's get that misconception out of the way.

The writing is credited to six people, including Kurtzman. It shows. Our main heroes are respectable, albeit forgettable character types. Vali gets to be Nick's decaying ghost buddy, an idea one's sure to recognize from An American Werewolf in London. Really? The Mummy herself is explained as a tragic figure, but is shown doing nothing but evil. Dr. Jekyll is the best character but only because he's unintentionally hilarious when he finally turns into Mr. Hyde. The story these characters take part in is interesting, albeit somewhat muddled, contains a few moments of astounding idiocy and its constant action is more routine than anything.

The visual effects and makeup department was fine here. Their best work took Ahmanet from a decayed mummy to an undead human. I couldn't tell if her zombies were by makeup or CGI, so that's good fx work there, I guess. The sandstorm across London was pretty nifty too; the sound design helped get its point across. Ahmanet's prison tomb was a good work of production design. Brian Tyler's score conveyed an eerie, epic tone quite well. The technical people did well even if the story didn't.

Universal already has Bride of Frankenstein and The Invisible Man to go next in its Dark Universe. They'll have to give their revamped monster movies more spark of life if they want audience involvement. That's supposing The Mummy doesn't derail the franchise from the word go. It's an average summer blockbuster worth only a matinee. That's also supposing you want to see it. Or not.