Everest

Everest is the safest you'll get to the titular mountain without the hypothermia and cliff-falling. You'll just have to see some other folks experience that.

In March 1996, Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) and Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhall) lead joint expeditions to Mt. Everest "because it's there." Their clients pay through the nose to scale the summit. And Hall's expedition has Jon Krakauer (Michael Kelly), author and journalist, to document their trek. If only Jon had a happier tale to tell.

When they finally scale the summit on May 10th, a monstrous blizzard joins them. They're out in the open when the storm hits and supplies are pretty much zip. Only blind luck and miracles can save them now. Or at least some of them.

The film has an all-star cast, but I failed to recognize a lot of them. I knew it was Josh Brolin as client Beck Weathers, but not Robin Wright as his wife, Peach. Or Keira Knightley as Hall's wife Jan. It does help acknowledge them as people, rather than actors as people. But the thin story makes it hard to tell which character was which. So it was hard to get invested in their fates. While one character's death, I thought, was painfully avoidable, another's survival was a complete surprise.

It does a lot better in the technical aspects. Cinematographer Salvatore Totino captures magnificent scenery from everywhere except atop the actual mountain. Those scenes were filmed mainly on a CGI-enhanced set and as far as you know, you're there. The makeup team also deserves mention for its ghastly depiction of frostbite and exposure. So does Dario Marianelli, who once again delivers an epic cinematic score.

Everest is available on Flatscreen, 3D and IMAX formats. You'll get the same gigantic scenery no matter which format you choose. The narrative might fall short, but the scenery props it back up. You might pay a lot, depending on where you live, but at least you won't risk your life by doing so.