300: Rise of an Empire

THIS! IS! ...

Uh, I don't know what this is.

What I am aware of is that it's 300: Rise of an Empire, a continuation of the Frank Miller graphic novel cinematized as 300. You can also call this a precession, intercession and continuation of the ultimate macho Greek story.

Leonidas and his 300 Spartans have fallen at Thermopylae. But first, a flashback!

Precession: The heroic Themistocles of Athens (Sullivan Stapleton) slew the Persian King Darius I (Yigal Naor) at the Battle of Marathon while his son, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) watched. The Evil Artemisia (Eva Green) goads him to become "a God," the only thing that can thwart the Greeks. And in due time, Xerxes reinvents himself into the bald, golden giant introduced in the first film.

Intercession: Xerxes plans to conquer the world and only the 300 Spartans decide to thwart him. Except that Themistocles also wants to thwart Xerxes; but to do so, he has to get the Greek City States together. Queen Gorgo of Sparta (Lena Headey) tells him to count her out. So ...

Continuation: Now that the 300 Spartans are dead, it's up to Team Themistocles to finish the fight. Artemisia proves to be a formidable adversary.

Yes, it's that kind of sequel.

Noam Murro, known mainly for directing commercials, makes his first film since the Indie movie Smart People. Zack Snyder, director and co-writer of the first film, produces and co-writes this one.

The end result is a computerized bloody display of stupidity. It's not the good kind of bloody stupidity; it's all violence and no impact. It's the "Uh, OK," kind of violence instead of the intended "Oh, wow!" or "So stupid it's funny" type of violence. A scene involving two confused Masked Persian Guards was the only thing that got a laugh out of me.

Green, as Artemisia, is supposed to be a psychotic villainess with a sad backstory. But she's so psychotic that her backstory doesn't even compute. I found her more repulsive than sympathetic; if you want to find a sympathetic villain, watch Captain Phillips.

Fans of the original film may get their money's worth in either 3D or Flatscreen. Those ambivalent to the first movie, whether they've seen it or not, should find something else.