The Expendables

The whole purpose of The Expendables is to gather every big action star in the same movie. One such star, Sylvester Stallone, co-wrote and directed what should have been a decent action-filled timewaster. Yet, for some reason, it’s not.

The heroes of this film are a team of mercenaries led by Barney Ross (Stallone) and his right-hand man, Lee Christmas (Jason Statham). Their mission, that they choose to accept, is to go into the country of Vilena and takeout its evil dictator General Garza (David Zayas), and his rogue ex-CIA backer, James Monroe (Eric Roberts). And to save the General’s daughter (Gisele Itié). Yup, that’s about it.

When Christmas lops off a Somali pirate’s upper-half with a rocket launcher in the first scene, you’ll know that this film’ll be bloody. And indeed, the rest of the film has hands flying off; guys getting shot and even a broken neck. It’s the same over-the-top action that populated such films as The Terminator and Die Hard.

And yet, the problem is that the characters are so-so. I didn’t think the characters were that interesting, not even Stallone’s Rocky IV nemesis Dolph Lundgren as an ex-Expendable turned bad. In fact, I viewed them, and consequently, the action scenes, with a big indifference.

They appear in just one scene, but Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, as the men who give Ross the mission, got the best laughs in the picture. There are some funny moments in the film too, but unfortunately, not enough.

The advertisements proclaim this film as “the manliest movie ever.” The truth is, I’ve seen better, both this summer and on TV.