Robin Hood

And now on screen is the one-billionth film starring Robin Hood, called Robin Hood (No, duh?). Its director Ridley Scott trusts that his audience knows all about the guy, so this film is about Robin “before the hood.”

So who was Mr. Robin “before the hood?” Well, he’s Robin Longstride, and he’s played by Russell Crowe. Mr. Longstride is an archer-guy in the army of King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston). They’ve been doing some crusading, and Robin tells the King that non-stop crusading’s a bad idea.

King’s response? “You’re an honest man. To the shackles you go!”

So when Richard gets an arrow to the neck, Robin and his merry men get to go home. At home, which is England, now-King John (Oscar Isaac) is taxing his citizens too much. Thus, Robin and his Merry Men decide to take action.

There’s just one problem: the script that Oscar-Winner Brian Hegeland co-wrote barely takes action. The movie just pads the time with too much talking, story elements and characters. This just creates a tangled mess on screen.

As Robin, Russell Crowe makes for a capable gritty idealist hero. His arch-enemy, Godfrey (Mark Strong, in his umpteenth villain role), is a decent villain. So, perhaps this new Robin Hood’s not that bad.

There’s some good production design here, but I bet you don’t care about that. There is some action at the end; if you can wait that long, then the wait’ll be worth it. If not, no problem with me if you ignore it.