GI Joe: Retaliation

I was supposed to review this last year.

But instead, GI Joe: Retaliation missed its summertime release and hit theaters now. Apparently, "Channing Tatum in 3D" sounded better than "Hasbro sunk again."

The GI Joes, led by Duke (Tatum) and Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), are dead. The President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce) set them up for an ambush. While Duke didn't make it, Roadblock, Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) did. They make it back to civilization to get to the bottom of this.

It turns out that the "President" is Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), agent of the evil Cobra Organization. Through him, Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey) can now hold the world hostage with their new superweapon. To save the day, the Joes enlist General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) and the ninjas Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Jinx (Elodie Yung).

Director Jon M. Chu's follow-up to GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra succeeds in delivering over-the-top action. Its best sequence is a battle between good and evil ninjas in the Himalayas. The scene is dialogue-free, which leaves its amazing sound design and visual effects to do the talking. Anyone expecting exciting battles won't be disappointed.

Among its cast, the best is Jonathan Pryce as Zartan-as-the-President. He's smug, evil and proud of it, but he's also delightfully over-the-top crazy. As Joe Colton, Willis provides the best laughs from the good guys.

A few of its plot points are hard to follow. But overall, GI Joe: Retaliation wasn't boring. If there's a third GI Joe, let's hope that when it sets on a release date, it stays on target.

The Croods

The Croods aren't "crude" at all. They are, however, the stars of the latest 3D animated film from Dreamworks. And as earlier reported, it's also Dreamworks's first film to be distributed by Fox.

The Croods are the last Caveman family around. They survived because papa Grug (Nicolas Cage) keeps them in their cave. But daughter Eep (Emma Stone) loves to explore the outside world. One night, Eep sneaks out and meets Guy (Ryan Reynolds) and Belt the Sloth (co-director Chris Sanders). Guy tells her that the world's ending; the next day, their peaceful canyon is destroyed in a quake.

Beyond their destroyed home is a jungle land with exotic creatures. Further beyond, there's a place that Guy calls "Tomorrow." They bring Guy and his "modern" inventions along to help them on the Road to Tomorrow.

It's a fun, silly caveman adventure co-scripted by Sanders, co-director Kirk DeMicco and John Cleese. Its slapstick escapades, including the Croods' first experience with fire, were certainly entertaining. The Croods themselves are fun characters who are likable throughout the film. Especially fun is Sandy, the youngest, most feral of the Croods. Rather than a celebrity voice, sound designer Randy Thom created her growls from animal noises.

The Jungle Land the Croods travel through was also amazing. Everyone of its creatures, from a land-bound whale to the killer flamingo-parrots (I think), were wonderfully exotic. A few of them even join the road trip as characters.

Its only flaw was that it felt long, even at ninety-eight minutes. But in this cinematic landscape currently barren of good cartoon movies, The Croods fills that need quite nicely. As usual, I'll leave the 3D or Flatscreen decision to you, the paying consumer.

Oz: The Great and Powerful

A thousand giants can't do what Oz: The Great and Powerful does. Director Sam Raimi's prequel to The Wizard of Oz is a nice, colorful trip down the Yellow Brick Road.

Oscar Diggs (James Franco) is nothing more than a Kansas showman. He calls himself Oz: The Great and Powerful, but he wants to be more than a humbug. While making a getaway in a hot-air balloon, Oscar goes straight into a tornado. Instead of dying, he finds himself in the Land of Oz.

In Oz, he meets the witch sisters Theodora (Mila Kunis) and Evanora (Rachel Weisz). They believe that he's the great Wizard who will save them all from the Wicked Witch. But that all goes upside down once he meets the "Wicked Witch:" Glinda the Good (Michelle Williams). Confronted with the real Wicked Witches, our "hero" has to put up a real fight.

As with the 1939 film, the first scenes in Kansas are in monochrome. It's also in 4:3 Academy ratio, the aspect ratio of the earlier film. Once Oz gets to Oz, the picture expands to widescreen in glorious technicolor. The credit for this feat goes to cinematographer Peter Deming and production designer Robert Stromberg.

As the Wizard of Oz, Franco is a believable humbug who hates being a humbug. Among the supporting cast, the porcelain China Girl (Joey King) and Finley the Flying Monkey (Zach Braff) are likable digital creations. There's also an amusing cameo by Sam Raimi favorite Bruce Campbell as a Winkie Guard. Another fun cameo was the appearance of someone who was either the Cowardly Lion or an ancestor thereof.

It's in 3D and Flatscreen, but if you want to see it soon, see it on the big screen. At 130 minutes, it did feel long at parts, but it was mostly fun. And unlike Jack the Giant Slayer, it's also a lot more memorable. Perhaps its success will bring that other Oz prequel, Wicked, to the big screen.

Jack the Giant Slayer

Fee, Fie, ho-hum, I smell the blood of an average movie.

It's Jack the Giant Slayer, or Jack the Giant Killer as it was formerly called. It takes Jack and the Beanstalk and Jack the Giant Killer, two different yet similar sounding fairy tales, and makes them one. It's not that bad of a film, but it's no milestone in film-making either.

Jack (Nicholas Hoult) is the farm-boy dreaming of a better life. Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) is the princess who wants to escape from her father's control. One day, Jack goes to town to sell the horse and gets some beans instead. That night, the Princess seeks shelter from the rain in Jack's house. Of course, that's when the beans grow into the beanstalk that takes the Princess up high and leaves Jack down low.

The next day, the King (Ian McShane) enlists Jack to join the Knights on a quest to save the Princess. Up in the clouds, they find the Kingdom of Giants, who are just waiting to eat them. 

In director Bryan Singer's early summer blockbuster, the best scenes are its first. It goes back and forth between Jack and Isabelle so seamlessly it's a bit ingenious. In the rest of the film, most of the characters are so summer stock that they're not memorable. One exception is the human villain, Roderick (Stanley Tucci), a sneaky ham who gets offed way too soon.

As for its obligatory blockbuster effects, they're OK at best. The growing beanstalks are amazing displays of CGI wizardry, and the motion-capture giants are adequately ugly. There were times, though, when the CGI effects stood out for the wrong reason: they were too obviously CGI. 

Overall, Jack the Giant Slayer is simply nothing more than a film to entertain an audience for an afternoon. When summer arrives for real, let's hope that it's blockbusters will be a lot more memorable than this.