Les Miserables

While Victor Hugo's epic novel Les Miserables has had cinematic life over and over again, its most famous rendition hadn't. That, of course, is the equally epic musical composed in French by Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schönberg and translated to English by Herbert Kretzmer.

But now, director Tom Hooper, to follow his Oscar for The King's Speech, has finally made the people sing.

Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) has just been released from nineteen years of hard-time for stealing bread. Valjean skips parole and makes a new life for himself as an honest man. Valjean aids the destitute, dying Fantine (Anne Hathaway) by adopting her daughter, Cosette (Isabelle Allen/Amanda Seyfried). But Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe) is right behind him, determined to bring the "crook" back to prison.

There's also a student uprising in Paris, during which Cosette falls for the revolutionary Marius (Eddie Redmayne). He also has a secret admirer in plain sight named Eponine (Samantha Barks). That is where the chase ends up, but who'll yield first?

I've seen this on stage before. Was it worth it?

Yes.

Since Hooper, bucking tradition, had the actors sing live on set, the sound crew had much work to do. What they have done is to create clear vocals to go along with the orchestrations. As a result, the show's memorable music is just as grand on the big screen as it was on stage.

What Hooper basically hoped to accomplish was to make a musical where singing and acting went hand in hand. This is especially true with Jackman and Hathaway, whose strong vocals move the audience's pathos wonderfully. The standout solos of Redmayne and Barks, meanwhile, also deliver some of the film's strongest moments. Stealing the show are Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter, who provide much needed comic relief as the crooked Thenardiers.

It maybe around three hours, but those hours went by fast. My only complaint is that sometimes it went too fast. And while some folks might cry foul over the film's rearrangement of the stage libretto, Les Miserables works well as a movie musical. It definitely is one of the best films to wait all year for.

Jethro's Note: No Apocalypse.

Django Unchained

Mixing spaghetti western with American Western, director and writer Quentin Tarantino has created his latest stylized epic, Django Unchained. As with his other works, this film is certainly not for all tastes.

Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave separated from his loving wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington). He is liberated by Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz), once a dentist but now a bounty hunter. Schultz offers to make Django his associate, promising to help Django find Broomhilda if he does. Of course, Django takes up the offer and thus they go bounty hunting.

It takes them a while, but they find her in the plantation of Calvin J. Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio). Candie, despite appearing to be a Southern Gentleman, isn't willing to give up Broomhilda that easily. Or even at all.

Essentially, this is part Blazing Saddles, part Mortal Kombat. While it is a bloody romp through history, this is also a live-action cartoon. Its violence, and some of its characters' bigotry, is so exaggerated that they provide the film its best laughs. Its best, bloodless scene, is when a night raid by wannabee Klansmen almost goes awry because their hoods make it impossible for them to see!

But when Candie, and his slave henchman Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson) appear, two problems emerge. While the two make formidable villains, their entrance begins the point when the film becomes un-cartoonish. Even worse, it's also the point when its 165 minute runtime becomes glaringly obvious. What appears to be the film's final shootout turns out not to be and the wait for its real ending is just so long. When it does get to the real ending, though, the payoff is spectacular.

For those who can withstand historical bloodbaths, this film will certainly satisfy them. It will also satisfy its savviest of film-goers with its throwbacks to the Spaghetti Westerns of old. But if you can't stand ultra-violence, then something like Les Miserables will certainly be more satisfying.

Hitchcock

I like movies. I like movies about movies. I like Hitchcock. It may not be a masterpiece in film-making  unlike much of the career of its namesake, but it was a good film still.

It's 1959, and Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) has just debuted North by Northwest. But at the age of 60, he feels that his life and career haven't been as great as they once were. Once he's introduced to Robert Bloch's new novel, Psycho, he decides that its tale of Murder, Mayhem and Mother is what his career needs.

Everyone around him, from Paramount, to the Censor, to even his wife Alma Reville (Helen Mirren) don't find this latest project appealing. But Hitchcock is willing to make it anyway, even if it means mortgaging his house to do so. But as Alma grows more interested in writer Whitfield Cook (Danny Huston), Hitchcock finds himself going mad. So much so that Ed Gein (Michael Wincott), the real-life inspiration for Psycho's Norman Bates, becomes his imaginary friend.

As Mr. Hitchcock, Anthony Hopkins pulls off a great impersonation. His droll sense of humor, as seen in not just Alfred Hitchcock Presents, but the trailers for his films, is presented spot-on. His impersonation is completed by extensive makeup, which looks good on-screen.

Amongst the supporting cast, James D'Arcy and Ralph Macchio stand-out in their brief cameos as Anthony Perkins and screenwriter Joseph Stefano. Meanwhile, Helen Mirren, as Alma Reville, makes a great equal for her on-screen husband.

But at a brisk 98 minutes, it breezes by its characters too quickly. All of Hitchcock's eccentricities, such as his obsession with his leading ladies, are present. But unlike Norman Bates, it seems all his motivations can be summed up in three words: "because he is."

If the film dealt more with Hitchcock's own psychosis, then a much more compelling picture could've emerged. But as entertainment, Hitchcock is a fun, although a bit dark, piece of entertainment.

Anna Karenina

"All the world's a stage," said the Bard. "and all the men and women merely players." Which is apparently why director Joe Wright's film version of Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina is on a stage.

Anyway, Anna's (Keira Knightley) part on stage is to be married to the stiff and boring Count Karenin (Jude Law). One day, she meets the dashing and lively cavalry officer Count Vronsky (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). Thanks to him, she finally finds a reason to be happy. Unfortunately, her romance with Vronsky gets on her husband's nerves and causes a major scandal. By the end of it all, Anna's happiness just makes her unhappy.

To elaborate on its presentation, much of 19th-century Russia is built into an old theater. When it's time to change scenes, Sarah Greenwood's scenery is changed on-screen just as they'd be changed on-stage. Only on occasion, though, someone will venture outside the stage in the real world of snow and ice. It maybe an interesting concept, but it still took me aback more than amazed.

Its greatest problem is that it was just dull. Its characters, except for the amusing Oblonsky (Matthew Macfadyen), were too stiff and boring to care about. Even Anna, the tragic heroine, wasn't that much of an appealing character. The costumes and music, by Jacqueline Durran and Dario Marianelli, respectively, were much more lively than all those "tragic" people. It was so stiff and boring that my reaction, once it got to the credits, was "finally, it's over."

If people talking on and on isn't appealing for you, then do stay away. There's so much of it that it makes its two hour and ten minute runtime seem far, far longer than it is.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Nearly ten years since his last trip to Middle-Earth, director Peter Jackson is back to the beginning of JRR Tolkein's literary lore in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. If this first of three epic films based on one 300 page book is indication, then this film should've been called The Hobbit: An Unending Journey.

The Hobbit is Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm/Martin Freeman), who used to have a normal life until Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) showed up. Gandalf and a band of Dwarves, led by Prince Thorin (Richard Armitage),  decide to recruit Bilbo for their upcoming adventure. Their mission, that they've chosen to accept, is to reclaim the Mountain Kingdom of Erebor, and its massive treasure, from a greedy dragon named Smaug. And so, whether Bilbo likes it or not, he sets off to aid them in their quest.

And that's all you need to know about the plot. It's a plot that takes up two hours and forty nine minutes to tell.

At first, it's kind of fun to watch Bilbo's first adventure. Our hero is a likable one, and the band of Dwarves are a fun, rowdy band of characters. Meanwhile, the film's visual effects, as expected, are great to look at. But as it goes on and on and on, the fun overstays its welcome. As a result, this epic return to Middle-Earth isn't as epic as it wants to be.

It does slightly redeem itself at the two hour mark, when it introduces the creepy Gollum (Andy Serkis) and the titular MacGuffin of The Lord of the Rings. Even though it's an extended cameo, it's also the film's most entertaining and worthwhile scene.

Available in not only 3D and Flatscreen formats, but its new High Frame Rate 3D, The Hobbit should please the most devoted Tolkein fans. But if it wants to please all other viewers, the next few films must find someway to make more seem less.

Life of Pi

Once thought to be unfilmmable by its readers, Yann Martel's epic novel Life of Pi is now director Ang Lee's epic 3D movie. It's one of the most colorful films of this year, or maybe of any other year.

Pi Patel (Irrfan Khan), born in India and living in Canada, gets a chance to tell his life story to an interviewer (Rafe Spall). As a young man (Suraj Sharma), Pi took up Christianity, Islam and Hinduism all at once. His family owned a zoo, which political circumstances forced to move to Canada. On the way there, natural circumstances sank the ship they were traveling on. Only Pi and a handful of animals make it out alive. In a short time, though, it's just Pi and Richard Parker, the Zoo's resident Bengal Tiger.

For 227 days, Pi has to tame Parker's savage instincts for the good of them both. To do that, Pi must keep his faith alive, just as much as he'd keep himself alive.

Its bright 3D cinematography by Claudio Miranda is what keeps the film alive. At times magnificent, and at other times frightening, its visuals are as vast as the ocean Pi finds himself in. Among its most incredible effects include a swarm of flying fish, a glowing whale, the shipwreck, and the lifeboat seemingly in the sky. Hopefully, we have either our Oscar winner for Visual Effects, or the close runner-up.

What makes the novel work on-screen are Pi and Parker. As Pi, Suraj Sharma is compelling as he faces the world around him. Parker, who is actually a mainly CGI creation, looks and acts likes a real, feeling big kitty. What makes their relationship work is that they bring out the best in each other. While Pi learns to remain strong, Parker has to humble himself, even somewhat, before his “guest.” As rendered by screenwriter David Magee, this shipwreck story makes great use of its two hour run-time.

Simply put, Life of Pi needs to be seen in a theater soon. Its epic scope justifies the continuing existence of the big screen in this day and age.

Rise of the Guardians

While Marvel Comics has The Avengers, Folklore now has The Guardians. It's a superteam first assembled by author William Joyce in the book series, The Guardians of Childhood. And now, they are here for their first film, the 3D animated Rise of the Guardians.

Bunnymund the Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), Sandy the Sandman, Tooth the Tooth Fairy (Isla Fisher) and North, aka Santa Claus (Alec Baldwin), are all real. Together, they are The Guardians, assembled by the Man in the Moon to preserve the happiness of all the kids in the world. Meanwhile, Jack Frost (Chris Pine) enjoys his snow life, but he doesn't enjoy the fact that no one can see him.

The Guardians are forced to recruit Jack when Pitch Black the Boogeyman (Jude Law) decides to bring misery to all the kids in the world. Since the Guardians are preserved by the happiness they preserve, this is a problem. Only Jack, who actually has had the time to interact with kids, unlike the others, has what they need to shine a light on Pitch Black.

Whether in 3D or on Flatscreen, this is one of the best looking animated films around. It has colorful scenery and an amazing display of animated superpowers. When combined with Alexandre Desplat's score, the results are just enchanting. It truly must be seen to be believed.

Its screenplay, by playwright David Lindsay-Abaire (Rabbit Hole), keeps it moving quite nicely in its 97 minute runtime. It may run too fast for some, but that's a story flaw I found barely noticeable. That's because its heroes, especially the mute Sandy, are all a fine ensemble of animated folks. Meanwhile, the Guardians' supporting creatures, whether they be Yeti or Elves, provide some well-needed comic relief.

Overall, Rise of the Guardians is an animated film that's enjoyable for both kids and believing adults. As Dreamworks's last animated film to be distributed by Paramount, it is also one of their greatest.

Jethro's Note: Stay tuned to March, when Dreamworks Animation switches over to Fox, for The Croods.

Lincoln

Last summer, the Great Emancipator became the Great Slayer in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Now, the 16th president is back on-screen in Steven Spielberg's long awaited Lincoln. Now with more history, and less vampires.

It's January 1865, and Honest Abe (Daniel Day-Lewis) is still President of a Nation at War with itself. It's not just the Civil War that's dividing the nation, but also the Thirteenth Amendment, the one that'll end slavery forever. His fellow Republicans want the War ended now, badly, and even they doubt the Amendment will help. Still, they are at least somewhat willing to vote on it, unlike the Democrats.

To get it passed, Lincoln has to get that minimum Democrat support. It's not easy, and the pressure is taking its toll on him. His allies include former Rivals Secretary of Defense William Seward (David Strathairn) and Abolitionist Rep. Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones). Not supporting Lincoln is Copperhead Congressman Fernando Wood (Lee Pace).

Using Doris Kearns Goodwin's biography, Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln as the starting point, Tony Kushner wrote the screenplay. It's another fine example of turning history into suspense. Of course, we know that the amendment did pass and the war ended soon after. However, thanks to its climactic House Vote, we're left wondering “how did that ever get passed?”

As Lincoln, Day-Lewis charms the audience with his soft-spoken good nature. When it starts to crack under pressure, the results are intense. In the end, Day-Lewis keeps the audience empathizing with Lincoln. Meanwhile, the film's makeup team, who have rendered Day-Lewis into Lincoln's exact likeness, deserves as much Oscar buzz as the star himself.

Amongst the film's supporting cast, Jones and James Spader (as W.N. Bilbo) steal their scenes wonderfully. As Mary Lincoln, Sally Field is great as Lincoln's closest moral support, even if she herself badly needs it herself. On the crew, Spielberg's frequent collaborators, consisting of composer John Williams, editor Michael Kahn and cinematographer Janusz Kaminski, contribute greatly to this historical tale's look and feel.

On-screen, its stars make Lincoln worth its two-and-a-half-hour run time. It is, overall, a more entertaining political drama than what we see on the evening news.  

The Master

The Master. It looks good. It's acted good. It's written good. But, it's also overwhelmingly hard to process; in fact, as I'm writing this, I'm still trying to process it. If you want to know what I understood, read on.

Just after World War II, Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix) lives an aimless life. He can't keep a job for very long and his relationships with fellow man are a mess. One night, he hitches a ride on a yacht owned by writer Lancaster Dodd (Phillip Seymour Hoffman). Dodd is also the head of a religious movement called “The Cause.” Intrigued by The Cause, Freddie joins to help spread its word across the country.

For the rest of the movie, there's suspicions that Dodd's movement is nothing but a cult. Also, there's Quell being an angry man. And Dodd's wife, Peggy (Amy Adams), being serious in the background. All the while, we're wondering “what?”

Director/Writer Paul Thomas Anderson's film isn't that easy to take in. It's quite serious, can get weird at times and it is long. Its main characters, especially Quell, aren't that appealing. They may look appealing, but beneath it all, they are unpleasant. Still, they are convincingly performed as unpleasant people. But that's not the same as me wanting to be in the same room as them.

Alleviating the unpleasantness of the story's mood a bit is a few of its crew. Its cinematography, by Mihai Malaimare Jr., is the first film since Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet to be shot on 70 MM film. Its colors and the depths of its outdoor scenery shots are amazing. Meanwhile, its production and costume design look authentically 1950's. Composer Johnny Greenwood, who also did Anderson's There Will Be Blood, gives the film a distinctive score.

Still, it actually does have a positive message: being one's own master. But still, there's the fact that we have to sit through two and a half hours of weirdness and seriousness. Anyone else who wishes to see this movie, please proceed with caution. Or, not at all.

Skyfall

And now, it's time to welcome Britain's best-known superspy, James Bond, back to theaters. Once again in the form of Daniel Craig, and supervised by Oscar-winning director Sam Mendes, Bond returns in his 23rd film, Skyfall.

This time, Bond dies.

Actually, no.

It opens with Bond in pursuit of an evil mercenary, who has with him the names of all of NATO's undercover operatives. They end up on top of a speeding train over a bridge. Fellow agent Eve (Naomie Harris) has the mercenary in her sights, but hits Bond by mistake, sending him to the river below.

Anyway, Bond enjoys his retirement by presumed death until the evil Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem) bombs MI6. An MI6 agent until M (Judi Dench) left him for dead, Silva takes up cyber-terrorism to get his revenge. To stop him, Bond has to get back into shape and join with some new allies.

Off-screen, Bond has many new allies on the crew. One of them is Cinematographer Roger Deakins, whose imagery of the Scottish Highlands, Shanghai and more, is amazing. Another new ally is Mendes' constant composer, Thomas Newman, whose score is suitably exciting. Its sound design, co-supervised by constant Oscar-nominee Greg P. Russell, makes use of some incredible sound effects. And while he's not a new ally, having done Casino Royale, editor Stuart Baird constructs some amazing scenes of action and suspense.

While its 143 minutes do feel long, its three stars make up for it. In particular, Bardem as Silva is one of the creepiest film villains as of late. Either good makeup or good CGI (I couldn't tell) was used for one great scene concerning his physical condition. Although it is Bond's film, and nobody but Daniel Craig does it better here, it is also M's film as well. More-so than ever, Dench plays M as vulnerable beneath her snarky demeanor. By the end, the audience'll wonder not only if good wins, but if they'll be in one piece by the end.

With an exciting and humorous screenplay, co-written by John Logan, Skyfall makes up for the confusing Quantum of Solace. I don't know about it being the best Bond film, but it's still an awesome film overall. It's certainly for all eyes only.

Flight

Twelve years since he directed Cast Away, director Robert Zemeckis is back in live-action with Flight. It maybe an Oscar contender soon, but it'll certainly never be an in-flight movie.

“Whip” Whitaker (Denzel Washington) is a drunk, coke addict and an airline pilot. Not a very appealing combination, is it? But a mechanical failure, such as the one that strikes Whip's latest flight, isn't appealing either. Through some fancy maneuvering, Whip gets the plane to crash land and save almost all on-board.

Upon waking up from a coma, Whip is hailed as a hero by the press. But that'll end once they realize that Whip flew the plane high and drunk. His lawyer, Hugh Lang (Don Cheadle) and Union representative Charlie (Bruce Greenwood), are ready to protect his clean image. Even then, that won't clean Whip's conscience, which is what he has to do himself.

As Whip, Denzel Washington's performance is what the film's all about. He's a fallen hero, one who's actually already fallen before becoming a hero. All it takes is the crash for him to see how mighty he's fallen; after that, he's lost. Washington never makes the audience lose sympathy for Whip, even when Whip lashes out at loved ones. For that reason, we the audience want to see Whip turn his life around and keep flying, so to speak.

Amongst the supporting cast, the best work came from John Goodman, as Whip's supplier, Harling, and Kelly Reilly, as Whip's love interest, Nicole. Goodman, in particular, continues to be a reliably hilarious character actor. Reilly's compelling performance, meanwhile, should give Oscar voters another option to consider this year.

And yes, there is the plane crash that starts the film. With some great editing and visual effects, the crash is one of the scariest ones on screen. It certainly doesn't help anyone's fear of flying, especially my own, to see the turbulence take its toll on the plane and its inhabitants.

Even when it does lag on towards its 139 minute runtime, Flight keeps things going thanks to its star. Unless you have a flight in the near future, then this character study is worth checking into.

Wreck-It Ralph

My last reviewed film, Cloud Atlas, had many things. A straightforward plot was not one of them. But my latest reviewed film, Wreck-It Ralph, is an ode to a medium known for straightforward plots: video games.

Each time someone plays the Arcade Classic Fix-It Felix Jr., Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly) smashes up the Niceland appartments. Then, the titular character (Jack McBryer) fixes it up. The good guys celebrate by giving Felix a Medal and Ralph a flight off the roof.

After thrity years, Ralph finally has enough. Ralph decides to leave his own game and head for the new Shooter Game Hero's Duty. Once he defeats the game's mutant Cy-Bugs, he'll finally have a medal of his own. But by accident, Ralph gets tossed into the Candyland racing game Sugar Rush. There, he loses the medal to the game's glitch outcast, Vanellope Von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman). To get it back, Ralph has to help her win a race that'll get her into the game's lineup.

Unfortunately, Ralph's game-jumping threatens to put Fix-It Felix Jr. out of business. Not only that, but a Cy-Bug's followed Ralph into Sugar Rush. Once it multiplies, the end of the Arcade World is sure to follow. To save the games, Felix tags along with Sgt. Calhoun (Jane Lynch) of Hero's Duty to enter Sugar Rush.

Rich Moore, known for his work on The Simpsons and Futurama, makes his feature debut here. It's a film that has plenty of references to, and cameos from, various real life games. Rather than swamp the film in in-jokes, the screenplay focuses directly on its own original characters. Whether alone or together, its main characters are all likable individuals. Even King Candy (Alan Tudyk) of Sugar Rush is quite likable until his rotten secret is revealed. Overall, it's actually less about video games and more about folks who are video game characters.

As a 3D Movie, Wreck-It Ralph has plenty of visual spectacle. It's most obvious in the delicious game world of Sugar Rush, complete with baked goods as race cars. All the other game worlds, whether its the film's original works or the actual titles, are rendered wonderfully in their own art styles. Seeing what those game worlds looked like behind the screen was also fun to see.

Whether you're a gamer or not, Wreck-It Ralph is lots of fun in either 3D or Flatscreen. Either way, you'll get an amazing short film, Paperman, to start the "game" with.

Cloud Atlas

What?

That's probably what you'll ask yourself after seeing Cloud Atlas. It's very long, has a story cosmic in scope, and that story is broken up into six mini-stories, going back and forth between them at any time. It's easy to get lost in the story, but its artistic qualities give it good marks.

Like the play Angels in America, its multiple stories feature the same cast, playing a different character in each one. For its cast, this movie features such actors as Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Bae Doona, Hugo Weaving, Hugh Grant and Ben Whishaw. Over the centuries, they play the following:

1. A lawyer (Sturgess) in 1849, who befriends a Moriori stowaway on a voyage back to San Francisco.

2. A musician (Whishaw) in 1936 Belgium, trying to compose his masterwork, the Cloud Atlas Sextet, while living under the domineering rule of an aging maestro (Broadbent).

3. A investigative reporter (Berry) in 1973 San Francisco, looking into the shady going-ons of a Nuclear Plant.

4. A book publisher (Broadbent) in 2012 London, confined against his will to a nursing home by his brother (Grant).

5. A clone slave (Bae) in the next century Seoul, who escapes the confines of her existence at a Fast Food place with the help of a revolutionary (Sturgess).

6. A tribesman (Hanks) in the way-off future Hawaii, who meets Meronym (Berry) of the advanced Prescients.

Its story was so big that it had to have three directors. Two of them are the Wachowskis, creators of The Matrix and the third is Tom Tykwer, director of Run Lola Run. Their adaptation of David Mitchell's novel has not only the visual splendor of 2001: A Space Odyssey, but also its tendency for confusion as well.

Its makeup department, headed by Daniel Parker and Jeremy Woodhead, deserves the most attention. They render the actors into a wide variety of characters, even some unexpected supporting ones. Weaving, for example, goes from an allegorical devil in the last mini-story to a Nurse Ratched parody in the fourth. This display of prosthesis makes the game of "spot the actor" a fun one.

As I said before, its non-linear structure and massive length punishes those with low attention spans. It's quite easy to lose some names, characters and plot points as the film ponders life's mysteries more and more. For those unprepared, the end result is not a serene "whoa," but a stumped, perplexed "what?!"

A second take maybe necessary for those who wish to see this movie. It's not the kind that you can just get in a day. Not in the least.

Pitch Perfect

Imagine Glee in College, add in some edginess and basically, you get Pitch Perfect. The results aren't actually perfect, but there's some good pitch in there.

Beca (Anna Kendrick) wants to DJ in Los Angeles. But her father makes her go to college instead. Not only she must attend college, but she has to join a club. The club she joins is The Bellas, the local all-girls A Capella group. Their leaders are the authoritarian Aubrey (Anna Camp) and the more liberal Chloe (Brittany Snow). Meanwhile, her new friend Jesse (Skylar Astin) joins the all-boys group, the Treble Makers. Since the two groups are rivals, this naturally leads to conflict.

And that's all you need to know about the plot.

As for credentials, there's a few noted names on the crew. It's somewhat based on GQ editor Mickey Rapkin's non-fiction book and adapted by 30 Rock writer Kay Cannon. It's directed by Jason Moore, who began his career on Broadway as a director for Les Miserables. What kind of film did they make?

It's a silly film, to say the least. A few bits of the story either made little to no sense. As a result, I found it a bit easy to get lost. However, individual performances of the supporting Bellas raised the pitch up a bit. Particularly noticeable were Hana Mae Lee, as the barely audible Lily and Rebel Wilson as “Fat Amy.” The song performances, thanks to both stars and sound mixers, were great. All in all, I found it a bit more enjoyable than the dud Rock of Ages, which means a lot.

If you plan to see this movie, go ahead. At the very least, the whole cast is enjoyable to watch. Meanwhile, I'll wait for Les Miserables the Musical to make its cinematic debut.

Argo

Argo is about a fake film that was used to help resolve a real crisis. While the crisis did end rather well, this film'll keep you guessing how well it will end.

It's 1979 and the U.S. Embassy in Tehran, Iran has been taken over by Revolutionaries. Six Embassy workers got out before it got really worse, and then took up residence in the home of Canadian Ambassador Ken Taylor (Victor Garbor). Even though they're safe in the house, the workers know that it won't be long before the Revolutionaries come knocking.

CIA operative Tony Mendez (Director/Co-Producer Ben Affleck) decides on an outlandishly plausible story to get the six out. He decides to pass them off as a Canadian film crew scouting exotic locations for a Sci-Fi Film called Argo. For his Hollywood contacts, Mendez chooses producer Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin) and Oscar-Winning Makeup-man John Chambers (John Goodman). Along with a script and some concept art, Mendez flies to Iran to get the six out of the country quickly and quietly.

Using Mendez's memoir The Master of Disguise, as well as the article The Great Escape by Joshuah Bearman, Chris Terrio wrote the film's screenplay. It's a screenplay that's both funny and suspenseful, often in the same scene. At one moment, there's a public table reading of Argo's script by folks in crummy costumes. At the same time, there's a mock execution of Embassy hostages. Thanks to editor William Goldenberg, the balance between funny and serious works wonderfully.

Although Affleck is the one in charge, on-screen and off, his supporting cast stands out wonderfully. Amongst the ensemble, the chemistry of the six escapees was the real highlight. They really worked well together, even when their characters were at each others' throats. Meanwhile, Goodman and Arkin provided much appreciated comic relief. Another great performance was Bryan Cranston as Mendez's CIA superior.

As a thriller and a period piece, Argo gets it right all the way. If Affleck keeps it up, then his career as director and star is secure for a long time.

Seven Psychopaths

Seven Words for Seven Psychopaths: Insane. Violent. Bizarre. Tense. Funny. Loony. Good.

For more words, read on.

Billy (Sam Rockwell) and Hans (Christopher Walken) specialize in being Good Samaritans for owners of lost dogs...lost because they stole them. Billy's roommate, Marty (Colin Farrell), just wants to be left alone to write his newest screenplay: Seven Psychopaths. To inspire himself, Marty listens to the stories of Serial-Killer Killer Zachariah (Tom Waits), an avenging Quaker (Harry Dean Stanton) and the on-going hunt for a Killer who whacks Mafia Wiseguys.

One day, Billy takes Bonny the Shih Tzu, whose owner is Mafia man Charlie (Woody Harrelson). Instead of doing the sane thing and returning the dog, Billy decides to hold on to the little pooch. Naturally, Billy and Hans face the wrath of the world's angriest pet owner and his crew. Meanwhile, Marty has to find someway to survive this madness and get his film made.

Writer/Director Martin McDonagh follows up his debut film, In Bruges, with this twisted comedy. Its screenplay is filled with great dialogue and some effective twists. Its ensemble of actors, particularly Walken and Rockwell, is perfectly cast. Best of all, it's a dark satire that wonderfully mocks the absurdities of violence. It has fun with it for a while; the pointlessness of it all hits home when it gets serious.

From its title, and much of its content, Seven Psychopaths sounds like an unappealing film. But for those willing to see what it's about, they'll find a much better work than Hollywood's usual spectacles of Ultra-Violence.

Frankenweenie

Back when he was an animator with Disney, Tim Burton got to make some weird short films. One of them, Frankenweenie, was so weird that Disney fired him for "wasting company resources" on a "creepy film." Years later, Burton's "creepy film" has now been reborn as a Disney 3D stop-motion spooktacular. And this is certainly not a waste of company resources.

Young Victor Frankenstein (Charlie Tahan) just loves to make films starring his dog, Sparky. One day, Sparky chases a ball into the street and gets run over. Sad and lonely, Victor takes up weird science to bring back his doggy. And just like Frankenstein, Sparky is brought back with the right dosage of lightning. After that, Victor has to hide the new Sparky from his neighbors. Of course, that doesn't end well.

Unlike Burton's Dark Shadows from earlier this year, this one knows what it wants to be. From the black and white to Danny Elfman's music, its inspiration from 1931's Frankenstein is obvious. Its characters may be oddly designed, but they're all eccentric and likable. And with its 87-minute runtime, there's never a dull moment. What it wants to be is a quirky take on early day monster movies, and it succeeds. Even when it does get sad, for obvious reasons, it wasn't jarring at all.

As with Paranorman, Frankenweenie does have creepy moments that earn it its PG-rating. If either you or your family can withstand it, then they'll certainly enjoy what it's all about: a tale of a boy and his dog. Either in 3D or Flatscreen, it's certainly a more sane pick for them than something like Sinister.

Looper

What would you expect from a film called Looper? From the title itself, you probably don't know what you'll get. Seeing the film itself, you won't know what you're going to get either.

And that's a good thing.

In the not so distant future, time travel will have been invented in their future. Since it is also very much illegal, only crime bosses have access to time machines. They use it to send some unlucky victim back in time to be blasted by a waiting assassin (the Loopers). And when the Looper's services are no longer required, the unlucky victim is their future self.

One such Looper is Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who's living the good life in Kansas. One day, his latest target (Bruce Willis) turns out to be his future self. In the future, Joe'll have run afoul of the psychic Kingpin, The Rainmaker. Now in the present, Old Joe escapes to find The Rainmaker before he can cause chaos. Present Joe, meanwhile, has to find his future self before his employers kill him in the here and now.

The screenplay, from writer/director Rian Johnson, is what makes it work the most. For one thing, it doesn't try to confound its audience with techno-babble. Instead, its main focus is just to get to the point of its main concept. Bit by bit, it also introduces more plot twists to throw its audience through a loop. In the end, these plot twists all pay off wonderfully.

On a $30 million budget, Johnson's crew has worked technological wonders. Its cities of the future look great, as does the its display of psychic powers. With cinematographer Steve Yedlin and editor Bob Ducsay, the film creates an amazing blend of action, character study and dark humor. Also of note is the impressive use of makeup to make Levitt look like Willis; and in one scene, Willis look like Levitt. None of these wonders are visual overloads, which makes them most amazing.

This is an action film whose style is substance. It's that substance that keeps the audience interested from the very beginning. For that reason, Looper is certainly worth your time. Pun not intended.

Hotel Transylvania

Now comes the second cartoon spooktacular this year and the only one of the three in CGI. It is Hotel Transylvania, whose premise you can easily get out of its title. But, I'll spell it out for you anyway.

There's Count Dracula (Adam Sandler), who owns the titular Resort: a Five-Star Hotel for Monsters. His frequent guests include Werewolves, Gremlins, Frankenstein's Monsters, Invisible Men and Mummies. The real purpose of Dracula's Tourist Spot is to keep his now 118-year-old daughter, Mavis (Selena Gomez), away from humans.

One day, a human traveler named Johnny (Andy Samberg) shows up at the Hotel. Naturally, Dracula has to fight tooth and nail to keep him away from the guests. But that gets difficult when sparks fly between Johnny and Mavis.

Genndy Tartakovsky, well known for his work on Cartoon Network, makes his first feature film here. What results is one of the silliest monster mashes on-screen. There's an amusing display of cartoon physics not unlike a Looney Tune. A few jabs at monster movie cliches also earn some good chuckles. Its only real flaw was that, at times, it was a bit too lighthearted.

Amongst the other monsters, one of the best was Wayne the Werewolf (Steve Buscemi), a harried father of too many. As the only “villain” in this romp, Chef Quasimodo (an unrecognizable Jon Lovitz) also adds some good silliness along with his rat, Esmeralda. The rest of the monsters are so quirky, it's not hard to like any of them.

As usual, it's available on both 3D and Flatscreens. Either way, it's still good fun if one finds Paranorman or  the almost-out Frankenweenie too scary.

Dredd

Best known as the centerpiece of the British Comic Book 2000 A.D., the Ultra-Lawman Judge Dredd already saw cinematic life in the same-titled 1995 critical dud. Now, seventeen years after Sylvester Stallone became the law, Karl Urban is the new face of Justice in Dredd.

In yet another post-apocalyptic future, much of humanity is crammed into gigantic Mega Cities. Since law and order is slim, the Police (called Street Judges) now have the power of Judge, Jury and Executioner. In Mega City One, the best known of these Judges is, of course, Dredd.

One day, Dredd gets assigned to evaluate a prospective new Judge, the Psychic Cassandra Anderson (Olivia Thirlby). For their first assignment, the duo investigate a triple homicide in the gigantic Slum Tower called Peach Trees. On the top floor, there's Ma-Ma (Lena Heady), who manufactures the aptly named narcotic “Slo-Mo.” Realizing the law's after her, Ma-Ma locks down the tower and sends her flunkies after the heroes. And so, to get out, Dredd and Anderson have to go up to face Ma-Ma.

This Dredd is guilty of being perfectly visual. While it is incredibly gory, much of it is done incredibly artistically. Best of all is the 3D Slo-Mo effects, which are wonderfully colorful and surreal. Its sprawling cityscape, filmed mainly in Cape Town, is an amazing blend of production design and cinematography. These visual wonders make the most of its $45 million budget, half the cost of Stallone's version.

Amidst the carnage, there's Judge Dredd himself, who gets the film's best laughs while remaining perfectly serious. By the end of the film, even the act of threatening Dredd is funny because it's doomed to fail. Just how it fails is only the punchline. Even though he never removes his face-concealing helmet, Urban makes Dredd into the perfect, reasonable lawman of any time.

Made for 3D screens, Dredd also looks wonderful on flatscreens. Story-wise, it's perfectly accessible for those not familiar with the comic book. If you can withstand the ultra-violence, then this film will certainly make the most of your day.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Beasts of the Southern Wild is one of the strangest films to come out this year. At the same time, it proves its worth by being one of the most visually stunning films around.

Young Hushpuppy (Quvenzhané Wallis) lives with her father Wink (Dwight Henry) in the Southern Community called "the Bathtub." One night, a massive storm floods the community. As Hushpuppy imagines it, fierce creatures called Aurochs have now been freed from the Ice Caps. Outside of her imaginary world, her community is falling apart and Wink's health is fading. To survive these changes, Hushpuppy has to grow up.

Based on Lucy Alibar's one-act play, Juicy and Delicious, the film was written by Alibar and director Benh Zeitlin. Amongst the crew Zeitlin assembled, the greatest standouts are production designer Alex DiGerlando and cinematographer Ben Richardson. Together, the two effectively create "the Bathtub" as an apocalyptic community even before the storm comes. It's an amazing site to behold, even if it actually is kind of bleak.

As Hushpuppy, Wallis's debut role is the film's standout. Her perception of the world is so innocent, yet her will to survive is fierce. She headlines the cast from her first scene onwards, never losing the audience's interest once. In addition to her, the entire cast is made up of newcomers, and they are all believable in their roles.

For some, its bleak real life setting might destroy their enjoyment of the film's fantasy. But for me, this is a great film about facing the realities of the world, both good and bad. For that reason, Beasts of the Southern Wild should be sought out if you can find it.

Lawless

As Summer begins to wind down, it's now the time for films that'll be more seriously considered Oscar Contenders. One of the first out is the real-life Crime Pic called Lawless. If this film wins Oscars, then it'll because it looks and sounds great, and not because it is great.

In 1931, brothers Forrest (Tom Hardy), Howard (Jason Clarke) and Jack Bondurant (Shia LaBeouf) are in the bootlegging business. In their Virginia Community, their business thrives thanks to the Cops who happily buy from them. One day, the evil Special Agent Charlie Rakes (Guy Pearce) comes to town. He demands that the brothers turn their business over to him, or else he'll send them up the river. The Brothers refuse, and that refusal leads to war.

And that's all you need to know about the plot.

Documented in the book The Wettest County in the World by Jack's grandson Matt, the story was screen-written by musician Nick Cave. It's a story that's slow to unfold, and liable to test many attention spans. Consequentially, a few plot points got lost in the shuffle. Fortunately, its most violent scenes were effective attention grabbers.

Amongst the performances, their are three that stand out. As Rakes, Guy Pearce did his job well, playing the snide villain one would wish dead at the end of his first scene. Gary Oldman, as a rival bootlegger, was the best underused character in all of his two scenes. And Tom Hardy, as Forrest, is the strong, silent type who is surprisingly very durable.

Also adding to the film are Benoit Delhomme's impressive photography, as well as the violent, forceful sound effects. The Music Score, composed by Cave and Warren Ellis, is one of the most memorable collection of country tunes on-screen. These are the aspects that are most liable to give their movie Oscar notice in a few months. And if they win, they'll be most deserving of the Awards.

While Lawless wants to be something great, it is instead something decent. Those wanting to view history unfold on-screen won't be disappointed. They just shouldn't expect to see much film history unfold on-screen.

ParaNorman

Beginning this month, a trio of spooky animated features are due to arrive in theaters way early for Halloween. The first one out is ParaNorman, a stop-motion spooktacular in both 3D and Flatscreen presentations.

Norman (Kodi Smit-McPhee) can talk to the spirits of the dead. To everyone else, though, he's just "abnorman". And the school bully, Alvin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), uses that as an excuse to torment him. All of this happens in Blithe Hallow, a town with great pride in its Witch-Hunting Heritage.

One day, Norman's crazy uncle Prenderghast (John Goodman) dies. He comes back in spirit to warn him that a nasty Witch's ghost is about to rise. When she does, the dead will walk the Earth. Prenderghast gives Norman the task to soothe the Witch for all eternity; it's a task that Norman'll need lots of help for.

Animated by Laika Studios (Coraline), ParaNorman's cast of puppets are amazing. They move around with such fluid motion that it's easy to forget that this is a stop-motion feature. With 3D printers, the animators gave the characters some of the most expressive faces of their medium. The film's practical sets only add to its wonderful blend of the old and new.

There's also some clever writing in co-director Chris Butler's screenplay. It playfully messes around with horror film cliches, but it knows when to be devastatingly serious when it has to be. On the lighter side, there's Prenderghast, who makes the most of his few scenes thanks to Goodman's performance. On the darker side, there's the Witch's true nature, which I won't spoil.

If you can withstand the film's PG scariness, then ParaNorman will be a spooky good time for the family. At any rate, it'll be a better pick than the live action spooktaculars set to arrive soon. 

The Expendables 2

Once again, an All-Star team of Action Film stars have assembled in one movie. It is The Expendables 2, the sequel to the 2010 blockbuster that I certainly disliked. Fortunately, this bloody, loud shoot-em-up is much better than its predecessor.

As usual, Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his mercenary squad, The Expendables, make it their mission to blow up bad guys. Their handler, Mr. Church (Bruce Willis), gives them the assignment to retrieve something from a downed plane. That something, they find out too late, has the location of an abandoned Plutonium mine. They get it, but the evil Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme) takes it from them. So now, it's up to them to stop the villain before he can sell his spoils to the wrong hands.

And that's what you need to know about the plot.

While Stallone directed The Expendables, he left this sequel to Simon West (Con Air). What this results in is a film that punctuates carnage with humor. The heroes make fun of their actors' greatest hits while under gunfire. A bloody fight ends with a villain going through an Airport X-Ray Machine. There's also a good supply of amusing one-liners as Good cuts through Evil.

This relaxed tone benefits its characters the most. This time around, they make up an amusing ensemble of rogue heroes that's fun to watch. Amongst the new characters, Booker (Chuck Norris), revels in the film's extremities. Meanwhile, Mr. Church and Mr. Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), the best characters of the last film, have a delightfully expanded part. Next to them, the hulking Gunnar (Dolph Lundgren) was the best of this Wild Bunch.

This is what the first film should've been like: bloody fun, not bloody boring. That's all its trying to do, and for that reason, The Expendables 2 wildly succeeds.

The Bourne Legacy

Just when you thought that Matt Damon was done chasing spies as Robert Ludlum's rogue assassin Jason Bourne...you were right!

Since director Paul Greengrass wasn't interested in getting Bourne again, neither was his star. With Greengrass gone, Tony Gilroy, the screenwriter for all three Bournes, has been promoted to the director's chair in The Bourne Legacy.

Rather than re-cast Damon as Bourne, Gilroy introduces a new protagonist, Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner). Aaron is part of Operation Outcome, the same Super-Assassin program from which Jason Bourne got his skills. One day, while enjoying the Alaskan wilderness, Aaron starts to run out of his Super-Assassin Medicine. And so, he goes back to civilization to find some.

Meanwhile, Government creep Eric Byer (Edward Norton) and his fellow Bureacrats, are irritated with Jason Bourne's meddling. And so, they decide to clean house by killing everybody involved with their schemes.

One Dr. Shearing (Rachel Weisz) survives one of their house-cleaning schemes. She's now targeted for death since she knows about the Super Medicine. For that reason, she's the first person Aaron seeks out and now must protect.

For around the first half-hour, I was surely bored with Bourne. Nothing really happened. All the names that were relevant in the last three films made the backstory almost incomprehensible. And it surely felt longer than half an hour.

But once it speeds up, everything gets better. The film's action scenes, edited by Tony's brother John, master both style and substance. While these scenes contain plenty of exciting stunts, there's also some masterful suspense involved. So much so that it could easily follow its predecessor, The Bourne Ultimatum, to a Film Editing Oscar.

Having not seen the prior Bournes, I don't know where this measures. But as a standalone, The Bourne Legacy is some fine entertainment. Let's just hope that the next one gets it better, or else we might just get stuck with The Bourne Redundancy.

Hope Springs

Just as they did in The Devil Wears Prada, director David Frankel and star Meryl Streep bring some dramedy for the summertime in Hope Springs.

Kay (Streep) has been married to Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) for thirty-one years. Their marriage has been so distant nowadays that they don't even sleep in the same room together. One day, Kay finds out about self-help guru Dr. Feld (Steve Carrell) and his miraculous couples counciling. She immediately drags Arnold along for a week-long therapy session in Feld's town of Great Hope Springs, Maine.

Upon arriving, Arnold hates it. In fact, he hated the thought of even going. And he especially hates the thought of confiding with some stranger about his marriage. Which leaves the important question: will this be even a good week?

There were a few laughs here. A few of them came from a very deadpan Carrell as Dr. Feld. At least, those were the few legitimate giggles. A lot of the other humor comes down thanks to the film's gentle tone. As a result, it comes down in one of two flavors: "huh?" or "awkward."

At the core of the film, there's Streep and Jones. On the bright side, Streep gives a reliably good performance as Kay. It's quite understandable that she's bored that he's boring. Or rather, that she's upset that he's dense. But on the down side, the film doesn't develop their problems further than that. It ends up making it hard to fully emphasize with their relationship.

If you wish to see this film, then go ahead and do it. It's a harmless dramedy, nothing more. But then again, it'd be nice if there was something more with the New England scenery.

Total Recall

Even though Phillip K. Dick still has literary works that have yet to gain cinematic life, that hasn't stopped his works from getting repeats on-screen. One such short story, We Can Remember It for You, Wholesale, already had cinematic life as Total Recall in 1990. And now, it's been brought back with that title intact.

In the far off future, World War III has happened, and only two superpowers, the United Federation of Britain (Europe), and The Colony (Australia), remain. One such Colony citizen, Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), works in a factory for Robot Soldiers called Synthetics. Bored with his life, Quaid decides to go to REKALL, which specializes in implanting fake memories in its customers.

So, he decides to be a secret agent. But then, everyone, even his wife, Lori (Kate Beckinsale), wants to kill him. Because, apparently, he really is a secret agent. And he's the only one who can help the Resistance, which includes his new friend Melina (Jessica Biel), overthrow the tyrannical Federation.

Or, maybe not. It is Phillip K. Dick after all.

Whereas the original story and film dealt with the Planet Mars, this new incarnation by director Len Wiseman (Underworld), keeps the action on Earth. What he's replaced the Red Planet with is a scenic blend of two other Phillip K. Dick adaptations: Blade Runner and Minority Report. It has Towering cities, East/West Art Deco, Flying Cars, Robot Soldiers, and many more. It's all great to look at, that's for sure.

There's also a few mindbending scenes, including a fake-out ending, that work really well. Unfortunately, there's also quite a bit of the wrong kind of mindbending as well. First, there's padding that ends up dragging the film up to two hours. Second, and more minor, is the eerie similarity between Lori and Melina. Those parts just turn the film from "Huh? Whoa!" to "Uhh, wha?!"

Overall, this is a film worth remembering, but not with enthusiasm. Still, it's not so bad that it'll make you want to forget it. It's just not a certified classic like the original film was.

Safety Not Guaranteed

A film called Safety Not Guaranteed doesn't sound reassuring, does it? But really, there's a good time guaranteed in this indie dramedy.

Conceived by writer Derek Connolly, and realized by director Colin Trevorrow, their debut feature was inspired by this real-life joke ad that appeared in Backwoods Home Magazine in 1997:

Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

In story, this ad gets the attention of Jeff (Jake M. Johnson), a writer at a Seattle magazine. He and two interns, the protagonist Darius (Aubrey Plaza) and Arnau (Karan Soni), go on a road trip to find the mystery writer of the ad. He turns out to be Kenneth (Mark Duplass), a meager clerk and a seemingly paranoid nutcase. Darius's personality wins him over, and thus, a story is certain. But it's not actually the story they think they're gonna get.

What makes the film work is its writing and acting working together. Its ensemble, particularly Plaza and Duplass, are all likable people. Even if they're eccentric or irresponsible, they behave like real people you might like to meet. When several plot twists derail their expectations, the audience is just as surprised as they are. But at the end of the story, the payoff to the premise is wonderful. It's only 86 minutes long, which means that it gets to the point with quick precision.

Overall, the point is that the impossible can be possible. That point is made so appealing that one can't help but smile after they see the film. That's why Safety Not Guaranteed is worth the time if you can find it in a theater.

The Dark Knight Rises

It has now come to this.

The third of director Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises, has finally arrived. And overall, it's one of the best Super Hero adventures of this or any other year.

Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is no longer Batman. Ever since he thwarted The Joker and the maddened D.A. Harvey Dent, our millionaire hero has also retired from life in general. Now it's been eight years since his last adventure and Gotham City is actually safe for once. So what'll get Bruce Wayne back into the suit?

Bane (Tom Hardy), a criminal genius in a wrestler's body, comes to town. Commandeering the League of Shadows, the very organization Bruce once trained with, Bane plots the destruction of Gotham in memory of the League's fallen former leader, Ra's al Guhl. Not unless Batman and his allies, including Catwoman (Anne Hathaway), can stop him.

Even at a near three hours in length, this wasn't a boring film at all. It keeps its audience guessing how, if at all, Batman will fare at the end of the story. A few scenes, including a brutal fight with Bane, seem to indicate it's the end for the Caped Crusader. But how it actually turns out is kept in great suspense. It's all thanks to writers Nolan, his brother Jonathan and David S. Goyer and editor Lee Smith.

As a summer blockbuster, it also keeps its audience attentive with many astounding scenes. Among the best feature Batman's new flying machine, The Bat. It's especially astounding to know that it was one of the film's heavily practical effects, instead of total CGI. While some scenes use CGI out of necessity, those effects blend well with the on-camera imagery.

One minor complaint I have is that it has some story elements that one can easily miss. It's something I've noted with Nolan's previous Batman films and Inception. But fortunately, there's such a small number of them that one won't get lost completely if they miss them. My other one is that, at times, Bane's muffled voice behind his mask is quite incomprehensible. To understand him certainly requires a lot of attention, that's for sure.

But still, The Dark Knight Rises has been well worth the wait. It maintains its predecessors' verisimilitude quite perfectly, something rarely seen with these super trilogies. As a result, the conclusion of Batman's latest cinematic incarnation is both satisfying and fulfilling.

Ice Age: Continental Drift

Anyone looking for an excuse to get the kids in the theater have a new one now in Ice Age: Continental Drift, which is the fourth Prehistoric cartoon comedy. I'm guessing that it'll be a hit with kids. For everyone else, it's the equivalent of a once funny joke now old.

Want to know what I mean?

Scrat, the nutty Sabretooth Squirrel, has gone too far. In an opening sequence that debuted as a stand-alone cartoon (which played with such films as Rio and Mr. Popper's Penguins), the little rodent chases his beloved acorn into the Earth's core. He inadvertantly causes Pangea to split apart into the current continents.

And he has no idea of the apocalypse he caused.

But Manny the Mammoth (Ray Romano), Diego the Smilodon (Denis Leary) and Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo) do. Now seperated from their friends and family, and on a tiny iceburg as a raft, their mission is to get back to land. Their mission is impeded by the pirate baboon Captain Gutt (Peter Dinklage) and his crew.

There were at least a few funny moments. One of them was a silly musical number for Gutt and his crew. But a lot of the funny stuff was already shown in the ads. On screen, they weren't supremely funny. Just average.

Available on both 3D and Flatscreen, this film's animation is its best asset. The scenery, and the characters who inhabit it, are greatly colorful and detailed. Its animated set pieces, such as the heroes' travel through a storm, were meant for the big screen. This is a good film to look at.

Either format you choose, you still get to see Maggie Simpson in a 2D short, The Longest Daycare. That was the best part of an otherwise formulaic film.

The Amazing Spider-Man

Apparently, the planned story for Spider-Man 4, with Sam Raimi directing Tobey Maguire, was such a mess that it scared Sony. Scared them back to basics. After ten years.

So now, with a new director (Marc Webb), a new web-head (Andrew Garfield) and leading lady (Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy) and 3D effects, Spider-Man's story is now told once again in The Amazing Spider-Man.

Once again, we have nerdy Peter Parker, who gets super-powers after getting bit by a genetically altered spider. Peter uses his powers for selfish reasons, until it indirectly kills his Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen). To find the killer, Peter comes up with his iconic suit and mechanical web-shooter gadgets.

Peter's spider bite inspires one-armed scientist Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) to come up with a regenerative formula from Lizard DNA. The formula works, but it has the nasty side-effect of turning him into the rampaging Lizard. The Lizard plans to spread his formula across the city, unless Spider-Man can do something about it.

While Spider-Man 3 was overwrought with melodrama, this new Spider-Man finds the right tone between humor and seriousness. On one hand, Peter's new powers cause some hilarious property damage. On the other, they initially leave him highly disadvantaged against gangs of thugs. It's this balance that helps keep the audience interested for the hour or so before Spidey gets his suit on.

As Peter, Andrew Garfield is both likable and believable as the dual-sided teenage superhero. His supporting cast is made up of actors well-chosen for their roles. Among them are Denis Leary, as Gwen's police captain dad, and Martin Sheen and Sally Field (as Aunt May). 

And of course, there's the visual effects. Whether in 3D or flatscreen, Spidey's acrobatics'll thrill and excite his 2012 audience just as he did in 2002. Meanwhile, Connors's scary transformation makeup is the best of the film's practical effects. 

It may sound like a pointless rehash, but really, that's because Raimi's films are so fresh in audience memories. However, its new spin on the basics make this new adventure a fun ride. And hopefully, it'll leave the audience anticipating where Spidey'll go next.

Moonrise Kingdom

Update: almost 11 years, and I have no idea why I wrote "Swito funny." Fixed as of 6/28/23.

Moonrise Kingdom is perhaps the first movie I've reviewed where my biggest problem was the film print. The inconsistent sound levels wrecked the viewing experience quite a bit.

Which is a shame, because Wes Anderson's latest film is quirky fun. Especially when it was at its audible best. But for now, let's review the film and not the theater.

Two kids from the island of New Penzance, Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) and Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward), meet one summer. They instantly like each other, and both feel restricted by their home lives. So, the next summer, they run away together on a camping trip to a secluded cove to stay together forever.

The eccentric adults in their lives, ranging from Police Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis) to Suzy's parents (Bill Murray and Frances McDormand), embark on a crazy search party to find the young lovers. But what'll happen when they find them?

Co-written by Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom is dramedicly charming. Its eccentric characters are all crazy, but they're still likable. Even without understanding their words, it's quite easy to understand their body language. Its 94 minute run-time ensures that not a single moment is wasted on-screen. And for that, it's great.

Its cinematography, by Robert Yeomen, has a distinctive use of color and exaggeration. Assembled together by editor Andrew Weisblum, these create some of the most "shockingly" funny scenes this year. You'll wonder how they came up with them.

If you can find a theater, and the time, then use it to see Moonrise Kingdom. You won't be disappointed; at least, if all goes well with your theater experience.

Brave

Brave is Pixar's first non-sequel in quite some time. Whether it's a Toy Story-style masterpiece in storytelling, I neither know or care. What I do know is that it's an outstanding film nevertheless.

Merida (Kelly Macdonald) is the Princess of the Scottish Clan DunBroch. Her mother, Queen Elinor (Emma Thompson) wants her to be a prim and proper lady, rather than a master archer. One day, her father King Fergus's (Billy Connolly) fellow Lords present their sons to compete for Merida's hand. Merida puts their archery skills to shame, and then runs off after Elinor scolds her.

She finds a witch (Julie Walters) in the woods and gets her to give her a spell. All Merida wants is to change Elinor, thereby changing her fate. Fortunately for her, the spell works and Elinor is changed. Unfortunately, the spell changes Elinor into a bear. Now, Merida has two nights to break the spell, or else all is lost.

Rendered with Pixar's new system, Presto, the 3D visuals do set a new standard for its company. With Presto, the Scottish Highlands look great either in fog or clear weather. Even the characters' hair, a seemingly minor detail, is impressively rendered in full CGI. On that point, Pixar's consistency for looking great remains intact.

The screenplay is credited to four writers: Mark Andrews, Steve Purcell, Brenda Chapman and Irene Mecchi. Chapman also directed the film, before Andrews abruptly replaced her (though both are credited). Does that equal a conflicting mess of storytelling? As I said, I neither know or care because I barely noticed.

It's all because of the well-chosen voice cast. Thanks to them, the film's characters are funny and sympathetic when they need to be. Whatever plot holes there are, they just leap over because they are that likable. Still, the best characters are Merida's mute triplet brothers, who have slapstick all mastered.

What Pixar has created is currently the best animated film of the year. It's worth watching either in matinee or evening prices, and I'll leave the 3D or flatscreen choice to you. Either way you choose, you'll still get to see Pixar's incredible Oscar-nominated short, La Luna.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Who ever knew that the Great Emancipator was also the Great Slayer?

That's what you'll find out with the latest historical "bio-pic", Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It's based on the "biographical" novel by Seth Grahame-Smith, who also wrote the film, directed by Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) and co-produced by Tim Burton. Sounds like a lot of credentials there.

Feel free to laugh until the undead rise.

As a lad, young Mr. Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) awakens to see his mother murdered. Only later does he realize that her killer is one of the undead. With the aid of the mysterious Henry Sturges (Dominic Cooper), the future President slays the undead with his silver coated axe.

The evil King of the Vampires, Adam (Rufus Sewell), won't take that sitting down. He also won't take Lincoln's abolitionism, since slaves are his favorite meal. This all leads to the Civil War between the North and South...I mean, the Living and the Dead.

Rather than historical accuracy, this film aims to have fun with history. Whether in 3D or Flatscreen, there's plenty of stylized action to help in its quest. Among them is the duel between Honest Abe and a Vampire in a horse stampede; the Vampire even tosses a whole horse at Abe for good measure.

Does it succeed in its quest? Its stylized action is incredible, so that's a plus. On the minus side, it's a dark comedy that takes itself a bit too seriously. At least, from the title, one might've expected a dark comedy. But I thought it worked better as a satire of American History. As a result, the tonal clashes didn't bother me that much; but its stylized action was like “that's cool” rather than the expected “whoa! That's cool!”

One can easily enjoy the film if they can also overlook its tonal clashes and historical inaccuracies. It's a decent B-Movie in every sense of the word.

Oh, by the way, if you do want historical accuracy, then wait at least six months until Steven Spielberg's Lincoln comes out.

Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages, just like Mamma Mia in 2008, has its actors sing some old-time favorites. Unlike the earlier film, this film casts its net wider and pulls in a collection of 80's top favorites.

Wanna get rocked like a hurricane, Amadeus? You might wanna look elsewhere.

Why's that? Read on.

Those 80's favorites are built around the tale of country girl Sherrie (Julianne Hough) and city boy Drew (Diego Boneta). Sherrie moves from Oklahoma to Los Angeles, where she meets Drew and both dream of making it big in Rock'n'Roll. But for now, they work at a Nightclub, The Bourbon Room, which has seen better days. Its very life depends on the revenue from its upcoming performance of Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise), the loopiest Rock Star in town.

Not helping at all is the Ultra-Conservative Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones), who wants to shut down the club for its “decadence.” Meanwhile, Stacee's manager Paul Gill (Paul Giamatti) is out to get in on the profits big time. Our heroes will have to get over them in order to rebuild this city with Rock'N'Roll.

There were quite a few laughs in the film. Most of them came from Stacee and his baboon, the manic Hey Man. Yes, his name is Hey Man. A scene where a reporter scrambles to cover both sides of a Bourbon Room/Whitmore rock duel was also kind of funny. As well as Drew's disastrous first public performance as a boy band star (which makes sense in context).

But at times, I felt that the best part of the film were the Rock'n'Roll numbers. They were even better than the characters who had to sing them. At most, those characters were average; at worse, they were a bit bland. For a film built around a love story, usually an appealing genre, this is a problem.

This is nothing but an average time. But still, this hasn't dampened my anticipation for this year's next musical, Les Miserables. So, I guess it leans toward the positive after all.

Prometheus

Don't want to see Madagascar 3 this weekend? Still wanna see a big 3D spectacle? Along with the cartoon threequel, another 3D event, Prometheus, has now come in theaters. This one, be warned, is made for a much different audience.

Directed by Ridley Scott, this can be best described as a mix of 2001: A Space Odyssey and his own film, Alien. In fact, this film is actually a subtle prequel to the latter film. Those savvy enough will get the connections, and those who don't will still make sense of the big picture.

In the far off future, scientist Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) discovers some cave paintings depicting the same cluster of stars. They end up forming a map to a far, far-away moon, so an expedition is set out aboard the titular vessel, Prometheus. Amongst the crew is Shaw, her boyfriend Charlie (Logan Marshall-Green) and the android David (Michael Fassbender).

The mission's goal is to find humanity's likely extraterrestrial creators, whom the crew has called “the Engineers.” Upon arriving on the moon, LV-223, the crew finds an ancient structure. Inside the structure, the dream expedition turns into a nightmare.

Shot entirely in 3D by cinematographer Dariusz Wolski, Prometheus is a visually amazing thriller. It soothes its audience with spectacular planetary scenery, but prepares its audience with Arthur Max's claustrophobic sets. When the monsters arrive, they bring about some intense scenes of Sci-Fi horror. One thing's for sure: this is not for the squeamish.

At least it's not gratuitous. As with Alien, the set-up to its carnage is slow and steady. So once it gets horrific, it is legitimately horrific. Still doesn't make it easy for the squeamish.

Anyways, Prometheus's visual wonders make it a worthy trip to the movies. Let's just hope that when its equivalent of 2010 comes along, that the answers to its existential mysteries aren't underwhelming.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Only the latest 3D threequel, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted both continues and improves the zaniness from the first two films. While both were a bit decent, this third one was the best of them.

The intrepid zoo escapees, Alex the Lion (Ben Stiller), Marty the Zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the Giraffe (David Schwimmer), and Gloria the Hippo (Jada Pinket-Smith) are stuck in Africa. Just as quickly, they and their little lemur friends are out of Africa and in Monte Carlo. Their penguin associates got themselves there, but didn't consider bringing them along.

After causing chaos in Monte Carlo, the animals find themselves pursued by Captain DuBois (Francis McDormand), a determined police woman with the stamina of Wily Coyote. To hide from her, they hitch a ride on a circus train. To stay on the circus train, they buy the circus and kick the humans out. To maintain their circus, they have to get on the good side of the troupe. Most of all is Vitaly (Bryan Cranston), the Russian tiger.

Sounds silly, doesn't it?

A completely Looney Toon, this film is energetic enough to entertain both kids and adults. There's the chase in Monte Carlo, complete with banana guns. There's an array of amazing circus acts, including Vitaly's physics-defying hoop tricks. And then there's the looniest scene of all: DuBois healing her injured officers by singing Edith Piaf. Even on flatscreens, the 3D sights are spectacular.

Could there be a number four? Probably, but the screenplay, co-written by Noah Baumbach, wraps things up so nicely that anything else might be an unneeded encore.

All in all, Madagascar 3 was meant to be fun, and it is fun. It helps having DuBois, the most memorable villain in the series, in the cast. With her around, this entry stands out amongst this summer's heavies with ease.

Snow White and the Huntsman

It's been barely two months since Snow White came on movie screens and now she's here again. While Mirror Mirror was in the Disney style, this new one, Snow White and the Huntsman, is more in the Game of Thrones style. It's also quite "Grimm" for those accustomed with the Disney style.

Years ago, Snow White's (Kristen Stewart) father, the King, married the Evil Witch Raveena (Charlize Theron). On the same night, she killed him and took over the Kingdom. Ever since, Raveena's dealt with her supreme vanity by stealing the beauty from any and all fair maidens. Meanwhile, Snow White has been a prisoner in the tower.

The Magic Mirror tells Raveena that with Snow White's blood, she can finally become immortally young. The only problem is that Snow White's now escaped into the eerie Dark Forrest. So, she gets a Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to track her down and bring her back. Instead, the Huntsman joins up with Snow White and her Prince to raise the resistance against the Dark Queen.

And yes, there are dwarves in this picture. Eight of them.

What makes it among the fairest in the land are its production values. There's some majestic eerie imagery, especially in the snowy scenes, provided by cinematographer Greig Fraser. The costumes, by Colleen Atwood, are unique and colorful for their setting. The editing, by Conrad Buff IV and Neil Smith, masterfully constructs a few key scenes. And among the impressive effects, the miniaturization of actors Toby Jones, Bob Hoskins and more into the dwarves was a highlight.

Its production values are what allow me to overlook its writing flaws. Mainly, it's so over-serious that its main comic relief, the dwarves, are only sporadically funny. It was a bit overlong, particularly in the middle, although it did pick up the pace fortunately.

Supposedly, there's supposed to be a few sequels to come after this. A major franchise? Let's hope they can do a bit better than this already quite decent first feature.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

A film that's certainly bound to attract this summer's oldest moviegoers is The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Even if I'm not one of them, it still attracted me a bit.

Directed by John Madden, it's based on Debborah Moggach's novel with the less wordy title These Foolish Things. Rather than make jokes about the differentiating titles, I'll do the right thing and explain the film's title.

Seven old English folks: Evelyn (Judi Dench), Muriel (Maggie Smith), Douglas and Jean Ainslie (Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton), Graham (Tom Wilkinson), Madge (Celia Imrie) and Norman (Ronald Pickup), have found themselves on hard times. Finding no place for themselves in society, they decide to "outsource their retirement" to the titular resort in Jaipur, India.

Except when they get there, they find the place not exactly looking like its name. Its new owner, Sonny (Dev Patel), tries to maintain a positive atmosphere, but he's overwhelmed by family expectations. No longer bound by their society, the seven retirees begin to enjoy what they've missed for so long.

Among its strongest assets are its main ensemble of stars. Working with Ol Parker's screenplay, they portray their characters as likable and memorable people. With the film's dramedic tone, you'll find yourselves laughing, and emphasizing with them, not at them.

Still, it wasn't perfect as it did feel longer than it actually was. But with this great ensemble, this trip across India was certainly worth it. It's definitely worth it once you've seen all this summer's blockbusters...or avoided them.

Bully

Certainly the most controversial film currently out this year, Bully has been out for a while, but a few people still have to wait for it. I'm no longer one of those people, for now I've seen it.

It's a documentary film by Lee Hirsch, which is about the problem of School bullies. It's a problem that young people have to deal with each day, but are almost powerless to stop. A few of them have committed suicide directly because of bullying; we also see the after-effects of a few such suicides.

I'll admit that it can be quite tough to watch. However, it's also quite cathartic for those who've experienced it. Seeing that they're not alone can spur them to talk about their problems. Even though we barely get to see a bully's side of the story, we see the side effects of their actions. And hopefully, seeing their "impact" can spur them to try to be better people.

That's what the film is about, and that's a good thing.

It was initially Rated-R for its tough language, rather than the tough images and themes on-screen. As if they were trying to keep kids from being exposed to what they've already been exposed to each day in school. This film shouldn't be swept under the rug, but instead, should be seen by anyone with the interest or need to see it. Most definitely.

Men in Black 3

Just when you thought that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones were through busting bad aliens as Agents J and K of the Men in Black, along comes Men in Black 3. And with this being number 3, this is the first in 3D.

This time, the Agents are in big trouble after the bad alien Boris (Jemaine Clement) escapes from the moon. Boris is the last survivor of some planet marauders, made so after Agent K busted him in 1969. Still bitter, Boris goes back in time to kill Agent K via a time paradox.

Once the deed is done, only Agent J can remember Agent K. Because Agent K is no longer around, Boris's fellow marauders are now free to subjugate Earth. So, it's up to Agent J to go back in time after Boris and thwart his scheme. In order to do so, he has to join up with the Agent K (Josh Brolin) of 1969.

Even in flatscreen showings, this threequel's effects are amazing. Its time travel sequences, for instance, actually felt like a theme park ride. Its elaborate non-human aliens and enhancements on the "human" aliens are amazingly unique. Its "human" aliens, created by multi-Oscar winner Rick Baker, are its most colorful asset.

It started filming without a finished script, which might certainly sound rash. But amazingly, the final product still has an entertaining style of witty humor. A good source of it is Michael Sthulbarg, as the clairvoyant alien Griffin. Even if some fans might morn two absentees from the first two films, this newcomer certainly makes up for it.

It's a decent resurrection of this franchise, even if it's not as hilarious as the first. Because of that, this is one of this summer's must-see in theaters ASAP films.

Battleship

Yes, it's Battleship. It's the board game, from Hasbro, that makes loudly proclaiming your defeat a national past time. And now, it's a movie with battleships and aliens.

Wait? How do the Aliens fit in?

They fit in because humans tried to communicate with their planet. Since their planet was just like Earth, the humans knocked on their door to see if anyone was home. Some Alien battleships show up, and a fifth screws up and crashes into Hong Kong.

The other four land in the Pacific, just near Hawaii, where some international war games are taking place. They seal off most of the fleet, so three ships have to face the invaders. When two of the ships are sunk, it's up to the stock characters on the third to save the day.

It's sort of like a naval combination of GI Joe and Transformers, both of whom are also Hasbro properties. At front and center is director Peter Berg (Hancock), who proudly displays the film's massive budget. There's tons of explosions, property destruction and heavy artillery. Chances are, you'll remember the destruction more than the characters who have to endure it.

There's an exciting music score provided by Steve Jablonsky, who also did the Transformers films. Despite the audible carnage, it still makes itself memorable in the end. There's not many memorable scenes that don't involve Battleships, but there's one in the beginning that really does. It involves the inept robbery of a convenience store by the rogue hero (Taylor Kitsch) set to The Pink Panther Theme.

Other than the heavy artillery, Battleship is an average cinematic exercise. It's decent enough filler while one waits for this summers' biggest guns, but it's not that outstanding. In other words, this Battleship is hit bad, but it's still staying afloat.

Dark Shadows

Airing from 1966-1971, the Gothic Soap Opera Dark Shadows has already seen cinematic life with House of Dark Shadows and Night of Dark Shadows. And now, with star Johnny Depp and director Tim Burton, it is back to cinematic life for a new take.

In around 1756, the Collins family moves from England into their own Maine town Collinsport. While they make their fortunes in fishing, their son, Barnabas (Depp), earns the wrath of the witch Angelique (Eva Green). For revenge, Angelique kills Barnabas's family and true love, turns him into a vampire and has him buried. In 1972, a construction crew digs up Barnabas and satisfies his long-lasting thirst.

He returns home to his family manor to find it occupied by his descendants. Seeing the family business is in disarray, Barnabas sets himself in charge to bring back his family glory. But first, he has to deal with a rival company, whose CEO is the very witch responsible for his condition.

Those who know and enjoy Tim Burton's style won't be disappointed with this latest effort. It has colorful scenery, even more colorful costumes and that quirky Gothic atmosphere. The actors he assembles into the environment are also quite reliable in their roles. As Barnabas, Depp gets the film's best laughs from his adjusting to the modern day world. Many of the other supporting characters, from groundskeeper Willie Loomis (Jackie Earle Hayley) and psychiatrist Dr. Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), are delightfully quirky.

But still, this isn't a well-mixed blend of comedy and horror. It starts off as seriously Gothic, turns comedic once Barnabas is freed and goes back to serious in the finale. In contrast, the TV show was actually quite campy and the earlier films were more "un-dead" serious. For many a viewer, this is quite jarring; however, it also felt like an exaggerated Soap Opera. That might've been what they were going for, and it should've been developed more.

Unlike Burton's previous film, Alice in Wonderland, this is a flatscreen-only presentation. So, the question is now whether to see this at all. My recommendation is that if you want to see it, then see it. Even though it has an identity crisis, it still has a few fun parts that make it worth the trip.

The Avengers

This is why Marvel got its own movie studio. This is why Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk , Thor and Captain America made it to the big screen in the past few years. And now, Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) has assembled The Avengers. And the end result is greater than the sum of its parts.

Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the Asgardian villain of Thor, survived his descent into oblivion in that film. He comes to Earth, seeking the Cosmic Cube (from Captain America) for his new alien pals, the Chitauri. In return, the Chitauri will subjugate the Earth for him.

In response, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) assembles the aforementioned Marvels back to the big screen. Also aboard are Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), supporting characters from Iron Man 2 and Thor. But their conflicting personalities aren't so marvelous, especially the Hulk's (Mark Ruffalo, replacing Edward Norton). They'll just have to work it out if they expect to stomp the bad guys.

While it does refer to its predecessors, the film's plot is so straightforward that the references don't render it incomprehensible. It's a real feet considering the cultural pedigree assembled here. 

On both 3D and Flatscreen formats, there's no shortage of big action scenes. But thanks to having Joss Whedon as a co-writer, there's no shortage of fun either. A lot of the fun comes from the quips and banter of such characters as Iron Man and The Hulk. A few of those moments got the loudest laughs and applause from my audience.

At around two and a half hours, the film spends its time wisely in the pursuit of entertainment. In its mission to remind its audience why superheroes are fun, it succeeds. And whatever Marvel and its new distributor, Disney, have in store, they'll all be eagerly anticipated.

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Last Christmas, Aardman Animations delivered a CGI fun ride called Arthur Christmas. They've now returned to their usual plasticine with The Pirates! Band of Misfits, or as it's known in book form, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists.

The Pirates are inept. Their Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant) desires to be Pirate of the Year. But to be Pirate of the Year, he has to outclass such pirates as Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek) and Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven). Still,  with names such as Pirate with Gout and Pirate with a Scarf, they aren't very scary.

The Scientist is Charles Darwin (David Tennant). The Pirates try to hijack his ship, the Beagle, but find no gold.  Darwin quickly recognizes the Pirates' "parrot" as the last of the "extinct" Dodo. Such a discovery would make one rich and famous. It sounds good for whoever does it first, except it would make the Pirates legit

Still, it would keep them from the wrath of the Pirate-hating Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton).

In both 3D and Flatscreen formats, this is 88 minutes of farcical family entertainment. Its light-hearted humor and sight gags are sure to enjoy both kids and adults alike. For the adults, they'll also enjoy the verbal jokes, such as the foreshadowing of Brian Blessed's surprise cameo. And the best part is that it's quick; not a single dull moment to be found.

Let these Pirates steal some time from you, and you're sure to benefit. You can call them any names you want, but disappointment should not be one of them.

The Three Stooges

Moe and Curly Howard maybe long dead, along with Larry Fine, but don't tell that to their on-screen personas, The Three Stooges. That's because they've been brought back to cinematic life in a new film by filmmaker brothers Peter and Bobby Farrelly.

Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos), Curly (Peter Sasso) and Larry (Sean Hayes) were literally tossed onto the doorstep of the local orphanage. Since no one would adopt them, the numbskulls have been the institution's permanent residents. They then learn that, partially because of them, the Orphanage will have to close down unless they can come up with $830,000.

Thus, the Stooges head off to the real world to find jobs. They get one when the scheming Lydia (Sofia Vergara) hires them to get rid of her wealthy husband. Since they're the Stooges, our heroes'll find a million ways to bungle it up and accidentally save the day.

The film gets its most points for its main stars' impersonation of the original trio. They sound, look and act just like Moe, Curly and Larry; so much so, that they really are characters on-screen and not actors playing characters on-screen. It is an impressive feet for the most unlikely of films in any year.

The film's biggest laughs come from its incredibly zany stunts and gags. Even if they could've killed someone several times over, the fact that the Stooges are live-action cartoons means that all their abuse is in good fun. And really, it is amazing to see just how cartoony things turn out. The only drawback was that a few jokes were too long and too lowbrow.

It's not as "mediocre" as the ads may have implied, but let's not imagine how it could've been worse. Presently, it's still a decent family fun time for any time of the day. But if you plan to use this to induct a new Stooge fan, please let them see an old short ASAP.

Mirror Mirror

Last November, that incomprehensible Greek Mythology film, Immortals, was released. Its director, Tarsem Singh, now has a new film out to make up for it. It's Mirror Mirror, the first of two Snow White films out this year.

Yes, there are two Snow White films. The similarities end there.

The Evil Queen (Julia Roberts) has run her peaceful kingdom to debt and beyond. Her stepdaughter Snow White (Lilly Collins) is supposed to be locked away in the tower. But thanks to kindly castle staff, she's able to go freely to her kingdom and see what's become of it.

And she's not happy with it.

She runs into the Seven Dwarves, who are named Half Pint, Grub, Grimm, Wolf, Chuckles, Butcher and Napoleon. They rob from the rich and give to themselves, but Snow White convinces them to give to the poor. They decide to help her get rid of the Queen, take back the Kingdom and also to win the dimwitted Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer).

As with Singh's previous films, the biggest star is...was costume designer Eiko Ishioka. She passed away in January, but her trademark extravagance at least got one more film to display it in. Together with the sets, her costumes succeed in providing eye candy for the masses.

The stars who wear that wardrobe provide capable performances for their roles. Especially with Roberts, who is both reliably humorous and nasty as the Evil Queen. Nathan Lane, as her yes-man Brighton, provided some good comic relief, as did Hammer as the Prince. And at least the story they were given was intelligible and straightforward, even if it felt too long at times.

For those seeking a good family time, this fairy tale will do just nicely. Just don't expect the same with Snow White and the Huntsman, a certainly "Grimm" film in every sense of the word.

Wrath of the Titans

Another week, another 3-D blockbuster has come to the screen. This week, it's Wrath of the Titans, sequel of my first reviewed film, Clash of the Titans. Now with an actual Titan. Amazing, isn't it?

Perseus (Sam Worthington), hero of the first film, is now a single dad ever since his wife, Io, died a probably horrific, but definitely off-screen death. He wants nothing to do with his father, the almighty Zeus (Liam Neeson). In fact, none of Greece wants anything to do with the Gods; without prayer, they die.

Meanwhile, the evil Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and his sinister nephew Ares (Edgar Ramirez) have teamed up to take over the world. To do so, they plan to release Kronos, the father of the Gods, from the depths of the Underworld. To do that, they plan to suck Zeus's energy dry. Already, their evil plan has caused monsters to come out of the Earth and kill people. So, Perseus must once again assemble a good crew to defeat Hades, save Zeus and destroy Kronos.

Unlike last year's Immortals, which was dreadfully confusing even to those familiar with the original myths, this film is pretty straightforward. By the end of the film, you'll know what the film's about, who the characters are and why they're here. It's a bare-bones story, but at least it's done right.

Its biggest drawback was the not so straightforward editing. Its action scenes would've been all impressive, except they're mostly cut so fast you can't tell what our heroes are fighting. It's a shame, really, because those were some cool monsters as their opponents.

There's one significant way this improves over the original and that's the effects. Its CGI backgrounds, monsters and Godly powers are all more extravagant this time around. Kronos, in particular, looks and feels like a purely molten nightmare once he starts moving. Still, these effects were at their best when the film was focused on them.

Come for the spectacle, if you want. It'll at least provide a serviceable matinee at the movies. But still, just don't expect too much out of it.

The Hunger Games

Since Hollywood'll run out of Twilight books this year, they've decided to go elsewhere on the book shelf for ideas. Hence, they've drawn out The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Even if you're not an avid fan of this franchise, you won't be disappointed with what's on screen.

Life stinks for Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), who lives in District 12 of Panem (formerly North America). Ever since a great revolt way back ago, the Districts have each been commanded to offer up a boy and girl for an annual competition. These are the eponymous Hunger Games, and there's one winner and 23 dead losers.

Her little sis, Primrose (Willow Shields), gets called for the games unexpectedly, so Katniss immediately offers herself instead. The big wigs accept her offer, but now she has to compete against her pal Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson). And it's all going to play out live on TV.

For a 2 1/2 hour film, this surely has one of the fastest screenplays I've seen. What I've summarized is just in the first twelve or so minutes, and it is some effective exposition. It continues to keep up the audience's interest by making its characters, even the doomed ones, interesting. This helps make its action scenes some of the most suspenseful this year.

What's also memorable is how the film uses color. In the wilderness, and in the 12 Districts, it's bleak and subdued. In Panem's capitol, the buildings, the clothes and the makeup are exercises in excess. That's all thanks to some incredible production work, who ought to get called out for Oscars next year.

Yeah, I know it's early, but as the past few years have shown, Oscar has a good memory.

Overall, it's greatest strength is that it's not excessively melodramatic or brutal. Instead, it finds the right balance with both and the result'll satisfy fans and non-fans alike. At least, until the sequel, Catching Fire, comes out around next year.