Transformers One

 And now for something pleasant.

After seven live-action movies, the Transformers roll-out in the animated prequel, Transformers One. This is the franchise's first animated movie since 1986, as well as one of its best ever. Let's transform and see why.

On the planet Cybertron, the robotic citizenry is divided between those born with "T-Cogs," which makes them Transformers, and those who aren't, which makes them miners. These miners dig for Energon, Cybertron's fuel, which has been scarce following the loss of the legendary Matrix of Leadership. In Iacon, the capital of Cybertron, Orion Pax (Chris Hemsworth) and D-16 (Brian Tyree Henry) both wish to prove themselves more than miners. They end up crashing the Iacon 5000 race, which impresses Cybertron's leader Sentinel Prime (Jon Hamm), but not the brutish guard Darkwing (Isaac Singleton Jr). 

Our heroes are demoted underground, where they meet the peppy B-127 (Keegan Michael Key). They also uncover the location of Alpha Trion (Laurence Fishburne), the last survivor of the thirteen legendary Primes. With the reluctant assistance of their former supervisor, Elita-1 (played by Scarlett Johansson), they set out to find him. Trion not only gives them their own T-Cogs but tells them that Sentinel is More Than Meets the Eye. This tests Orion Pax and D-16's friendship, up until it finally breaks, and they become Optimus Prime and Megatron, respectively.

Yeah, pleasant.

Despite the forgone conclusion, director Josh Cooley and his writing team make a fresh path to that point. It's even morbid in hindsight when Orion Pax and D-16 proclaim themselves best friends early on. In fact, D-16's character development maybe the film's greatest spark. As voiced by Henry, he's quite a good bro bot for Orion Pax, which makes their friendship fun to watch. But when Sentinel is revealed to be a villain, D-16 is consumed with slow-boiling rage as he seeks vengeance on not only him, but anyone he sees in his way. It finally explodes with terrifying force when D-16 finally becomes Megatron. It's also quite interesting to see how Megatron restructures the former Cybertronian High Guard into the Decepticons, as it gives its commander Starscream (Steve Buscemi) a justifiable reason for his famous backstabbing.

That doesn't mean the future Autobots don't mean much here. Orion Pax is quite likable long before his climactic upgrade. His scheming is funny, but just as importantly, he proves his heroism when he saves miner and future Autobot Jazz (Evan Michael Lee) from a cave-in. His friendship-turned-enmity with Megatron culminates in a strong climactic battle. Meanwhile, B-127 (Bumblebee) is quite funny, Elita-1 is a good voice of reason, and Alpha Trion is a decent Obi-Wan type. I probably should make room for Sentinel Prime and Darkwing, even though they aren't heroes. Sentinel's nice guy act is quite believable, particularly when he praises our heroes for crashing the Iacon 5000. That just makes his true casual evilness all the more loathsome. Darkwing, meanwhile, is a typical bully, and his comeuppance is quite amusing.

Industrial Light and Magic animated this film just as they did the live-action movies. It's no surprise that everything about it, from the production design to the character designs, is amazing. Iacon is quite splendid, while the Cybertronian surface above it is quite fascinating. One of Iacon's most unique touches are the roads, which materialize as a bot drives through them. There are several franchise favorites among the massive crowd shots, and I'm sure you'll have fun spotting as many as possible. On an individual level, Airachnid (Vanessa Luguori), Sentinel Prime's right-hand bot, has an impressively creepy design. The sound effects are neat, but modulating Buscemi's voice into Starscream's famously scratchy one is a nice touch. All of it is accentuated with another great score by Brian Tyler, particularly its impressive opening theme.

I didn't think much of Transformers One when it was announced several years ago. Way to prove my skepticism wrong, movie. Its finale cements itself as not only one of the best films in the franchise, but one of the best prequels ever. I'm now intrigued for a possible Transformers Two to see how these Autobots and Decepticons brought their war to Earth. But that may only be possible if the box office picks up exponentially soon. Have the last few live-action Transformers film let you down? Give this animated film a try, it's more than meets the eye.

That's it for now.

The Substance

When The Thing was released in 1982, it was critically shredded for its grotesque imagery and was stranded in the box-office cold. I wonder how those same critics would react to The Substance, this year's Canne Film Festival sensation, and its grotesqueries? For this modern reviewer, writing about it and reading about it is a lot easier than watching it. Here's hoping I can describe it without the censors noticing.

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore), a former Hollywood superstar, is now the host of a Daytime Aerobics show. That is, until her boss, Harvey (Dennis Quaid), fires her on her fiftieth birthday in favor of somebody younger. Elisabeth gets into a nasty wreck on her way home; afterwards, a mysterious nurse (Robin Greer) gives her a flash drive promoting The Substance. It's a self-cloning serum which will produce a younger clone with one injection. She'll have to switch her consciousness between the current and new hers every week (no exceptions). With her one injection, Sue (Margaret Qualley) is born.

As Sue, Elisabeth gets her show and superstardom back. But all that fame exasperates Elisabeth's feelings of self-hatred. "There is only one you," the mysterious inventor (Yann Bean) of The Substance explains, and both must co-exist. Sue, however, is determined to remain young and beautiful by any means. And things get much weirder and grosser, if they haven't been already.

Coralie Fargeat's second feature film is determined to unsettle you from minute one. Her cinematographer, Benjamin Kracun, films quite a bit of the movie in extreme close-ups. I'm sure many an appetite will be lost when they see Harvey stuff his face with shrimp up-close. In fact, most of Harvey's scenes are shot up-close, which only amplifies his unpleasantness exponentially. That's not getting into the actual body horror, which is just as disturbing on a visual and auditory level as The Thing. Sue/Elisabeth's refusal to switch personas causes Sue to literally fall apart, Elisabeth to rapidly age to absurdity, and results in a second clone, Monstro Elisasue, a misshapen mutant reminiscent of The Thing's most gruesome forms. Everyone following me so far?

To say that this film is overwhelming is an understatement. It's still strangely compelling, all things considered. A lot of it is due to Moore's performance, which lets us pity Elisabeth in any state. Late in the film, Elisabeth prepares for a date with an old classmate, only for her to be stuck doing her makeup again & again, until she finally crumbles from body dysmorphia. Moore specially makes Elisabeth pitiable underneath the most extreme of the film's fantastic makeup work. The finale gives her a very strange moment of happiness. Qualley, meanwhile, is quite formidable whether she's playing Sue as Elisabeth's younger self or her own person. She is also pitiable once she falls apart at the end. 

If body horror isn't your thing, then I advise you not to take The Substance. Those who are will not be disappointed. This is everything from a treatise on body dysmorphia to the world's most surreal anti-drug PSA. The bloody finale, in which Monstro makes her public debut, is so ridiculously over-the-top that it's kind of funny. It may be brutal, it may be overwhelming, but it certainly isn't forgettable. This will make for a great midnight movie, whether in theatres or on MUBI, the streaming platform distributing it now. See it soon if you want to see what I mean.

Next up, something pleasant.

The Killer's Game

Let's play America's new favorite game show, The Killer's Game! With your host, Jethro....

......................................

And there's nobody in the studio.

Oh well, let me tell you what this movie is all about.

Based on 1997 novel by Jay Bonansinga (several novels for The Walking Dead), this film spent decades in development hell, cycling in numerous directors and stars before J.J. Perry and Dave Bautista signed up. As a reminder of how old it is, one of its screenwriters is Rand Ravich, the director and writer of The Astronaut's Wife, and this is his first theatrical film since it bombed in 1999. Now for the main event.

Joe Flood (Bautista) is one of the world's best hitmen. He and his handler, Zvi (Ben Kingsley), take great pride in the fact that they kill only bad guys, such as some nobody during a modern dance performance. When another hitman shows up, there's a panic in the dance hall, and Joe ends up saving the lead dancer, Maize (Sofia Boutella), from a stampede. They quickly fall for each other, but Joe's chronic migraines get in the way.

Joe is soon diagnosed with the neurodegenerative Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease and is given a prognosis of three months at best. Joe decides to get it over with by putting a hit out on himself. He consults with another handler, Marianna Antoinette (Pom Klementieff), for the unusual task. Antoinette, whose father was killed by Joe, is all too happy to put her assassins to work. As he awaits his end, Joe learns that he was misdiagnosed due to a clerical error, and that he's perfectly fine. Since Antoinette refuses to cancel the contract, Joe decides to prolong his life by taking on the murderer's row coming his way. He also has to protect Maize from becoming collateral damage. Easy, right?

Joe may have been misdiagnosed, but the film suffers a case of mood confusion. It can't seem to decide if it's a grounded romantic dramedy, or an over-the-top action comedy. For example, Joe breaks up with Maize, just before he learns of the misdiagnosis, and later composes a final voice message for her, in an overly melodramatic sequence amped up with Roque Banos's score. When Joe learns the "good news," just before the first hired guns show up, the mood becomes farcical. The hired guns are all outrageous stereotypes which include two sets of brothers, the first of whom fight with their motorcycles and the other being rowdy Scotsmen, and a flamenco dancer, who only show up just to fight Joe and get brutally killed. The confusion keeps on going up to the final battle.

The only hired gun with any development is Lovedahl (Terry Crews), the last man who takes up the job. That's only because he's kept on the sidelines throughout the film. He initially turns down the contract because the pay was too low for him. But once he gets going, he and his obnoxious assistant, Money (George Sommer), nab Maize and drive up to find Joe. He would have been a better rival for Joe if he showed up earlier and often. He's the only surviving hired gun, so there was some potential. As for Money, his best scenes were of him being a punching bag.

Bautista is as likable as a romantic lead as he is a cool hitman. He and Maize have a pretty likable relationship, even during the mood swings, and that likability doesn't diminish with each of his kills. The contrast between Joe's personal and professional lives is highlighted in an amusing montage. We're all for Joe when Maize is threatened late into the film. Maize finishing off the last hired gun somewhat makes up for her lack of screentime for much of the film. Amongst their supporting cast, Antoinette doesn't do much but gloat evilly; Zvi and his wife Sharon (Alex Kingston) are good mentor figures; the priest Father O'Brien (Dylan Moran) is actually quite funny.

The film's visual flair is pretty interesting. The hired guns get over-the-top intro scenes, while multiple scene transitions incorporate objects from the next scene. The CGI blood can be either jarringly out of place or perfectly in sync with the outrageousness. All the fake blood doesn't diminish how brutal the violence can get (such as a knockout punch for one hired gun). There's also some great location filming of Budapest by cinematographer Flavio Martínez Labiano for those who don't like blood. I didn't even realize that the Langos Brothers, aka the aforementioned biker brothers, were both played by the same actor (Miklós Szentváry-Lukács). I commend the visual trickery involved here. I also commend the sound design for helping us empathize with Joe during his migraines.

Is anyone going to play The Killer's Game a week later? Or are you all going to see what everyone else is offering? It maybe tonally confused, but I got to admit, it was interesting when it was over-the-top. A little fine tuning could have made it a great killer farce instead of an OK one. At least it's more enjoyable than some other recent films. It's time to prepare for some more big films in the next few months. And my weekend is packed with a few of them. Stay tuned.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

 Oh, now you've done it Jethro. You've almost hit the limit! On the title even!

Baxter, relax, haven't you listened to the musical? It has to be "three times in a row, spoken unbroken." So, as long as we don't reuse words a lot, we can say Beetlejuice as many times as we want. It's important for reviewing Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

......

Nothing happened! Hey, you're right!

Anyway, let's see what ghoulish hijinks Tim Burton and his writers have come up with for the Ghost with the Most.

Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) is now the host of her own talk show, Ghost House, where she investigates, well, ghost houses and interviews their mortal occupants. She's still haunted by visions of Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton); meanwhile, she has a strained relationship with her stepmother, Delia (Catherine O'Hara), and her daughter, Astrid (Jenna Ortega) is embarrassed to be associated with her. Lydia, Delia and Astrid all head back to Winter River, Connecticut, for the funeral of their patriarch, Charles (originated by Jeffrey Jones, whose legal troubles made it impossible for him to return). Her producer and boyfriend, Rory (Justin Theroux), even proposes right at the wake.

Meanwhile, Beetlejuice's (or Betelgeuse's) ex-wife, Delores (Monica Bellucci), pulls herself back together and goes on a soul-sucking beeline for His Ghostliness. Also, meanwhile, Astrid finds herself a new ghost boyfriend named Jeremy (Arthur Conti), who just wants to get his mortal green card stamped. Astrid agrees to help him, unaware that Jeremy is a murderer who wants to trade her life for his. When Lydia finds out about it, she calls up Beetlejuice to help her go after them. She agrees to marry the ghoul if it means getting Astrid back. It all leads to a bit of mayhem at a church.

That sure sounds like a lot. The film is only 105-minutes long, slightly longer than the first film, but the big hook of it all - Beetlejuice and Lydia's team-up - kicks off about an hour in. What other stuff is there? There's also some business with ghost cop Wolf Jackson (Willem Dafoe) and his squad of keystone ghost cops. Delores sucks a few souls during the film (including a janitor played by Danny DeVito), but she finally gets to Beetlejuice in the climax. Delia's obsession with the eccentric leads her to the last mistake of her life. Surprisingly, these subplots don't really overwhelm the film.

Lydia and Astrid's problems drive most of the film. Lydia's nightmares of Beetlejuice, nicely edited by Jay Prychidny, are as scary for her as they are for the audience. Just wait until you see the finale. Astrid spends the first half believing her mother a fraud, which makes it memorable when she discovers Jeremy's ethereal nature. Astrid and Jeremy are pretty likable together, at least, until we realize who Jeremy was. Astrid and Lydia also have pretty good chemistry together, in good times and in bad. Richard (Santiago Cabrera), Lydia's husband and Astrid's dad, only has about a few scenes in death. But they were pretty good ones. 

Meanwhile, Dafoe is clearly having a ball as Jackson, who is one of the funniest characters in the film. Delia's eccentricities are amusing, but her intuition into Lydia's relationships is impressive. We pity her once she realizes that she is among the recently deceased. Bellucci is fine as Delores, but she doesn't have much to do. Rory is quite tactless, domineering, and you'll realize he's a lot worse. He's still a lot more likable than Jeremy, that's for sure.

And who can forget Beetlejuice? He's just as tactless and manically charming as he was when he debuted in 1988. He has a few moments of decency, including giving Jeremy a nasty surprise, so he isn't that bad. But still, you'll understand Lydia's apprehension around him. Beetlejuice first appeared in full forty-seven minutes into the first film and had about seventeen minutes of screentime. This time, he appears quite earlier and seems like he has more screentime, but he never wears out his welcome.

Production Designer Mark Scruton and Costume Designer Colleen Atwood do a pretty good job recreating the visual aesthetics from the original film. The new locales, outfits and even lighting schemes are especially appealing. The makeup and hairstyling for both the living and dead are just as delightfully ghoulish as the first film's Oscar-winning work. The most ghoulish design maybe Charles Deetz's new look, though I'm positive CGI was involved. There's some good stop-motion to visualize Charles's death, as well as another old favorite, the Titan Sandworm. Danny Elfman's update of the first film's theme, as well as his new score, is outstanding. And yes, The Banana Boat Song makes a cameo, while Macarthur Park figures into this film's big musical number (I never realized how silly the lyrics were, but that's just me).

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is a pretty good belated sequel to a dark comedy classic. It is significantly more macabre than its predecessor, but it has a compelling narrative about both the living and the dead learning to appreciate life. If Warner Brothers wants to remake the first film, they should do the decent thing and adapt the Broadway musical. Then again, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice does have some thematic overlap with the musical, so maybe they did. Burton credits this film with getting his filmmaking groove back; I await his next film more than ever.

Yeah, I can't wait for the inevitable Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice...

(It's Showtime!)

I walked into that one, didn't I?

That's it for now.

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Freedom

It turns out that The Primevals isn't the only movie with an epic production history. 

Mobile Suit Gundam was cut short after only 43 episodes during its 1979 run. It's now one of the staples of the anime world, with multiple spin-offs in every format imaginable. One of its most popular spin-offs, Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, was supposed to have a movie as early as 2006, shortly after the run of its sequel series, Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny. Unfortunately, series head writer Chiaki Morosawa was in constant poor health and ultimately passed away in 2016. A few years later, Morosawa's husband and series director Mitsuo Fukuda got her script together with the help of SEED novel writer Liu Goto.

This is the end result, which premiered in Japanese theatres in January, had a two-night US run in May, and is now on Netflix and Hulu.

In a typical Gundam series, humans have established space colonies and often wage war on Earth and in space using humanoid mobile suits. The protagonists, including SEED's Kira Yamato, have super-special mobile suits called Gundams. A few years after Destiny, Kira leads a team of mobile suit pilots, which includes Destiny's protagonist Shinn Asuka, to defend world peace on behalf of the peacekeeping organization COMPASS. In the SEED universe, war has been waging between genetically-modified Coordinators and the aptly-named Naturals. Kira, himself a Coordinator, is naturally sick of it all.

The Empire of Foundation allies with COMPASS to deal with the terrorist group Blue Cosmos. Unfortunately, Foundation's Prime Minister Orphee Lam Tao sets up COMPASS for a False Flag Operation during the pivotal sortie. Tao is a Coordinator, as is most of Foundation's leadership, and they want to implement a new world order based on their genetic superiority. He even wants fellow Coordinator and COMPASS president Lacus Clyne, who is also Kira's love interest, to love him or else. Kira and his friends have to get it together to stop Tao before he nukes the world into submission with his Requiem space laser.

Did everybody get all that?

Once again, this is an anime film that requires you to have kept up with the story thus far. Those who have never watched the TV show, or even finished either of its seasons, will certainly be lost. There's a tangible amount of understandable material, such as the "Destiny Project" that the namesake season's Big Bad Durandal wanted to implement, and this movie's villains want to finish. A lot of the new characters are actually cases of "remember the new guy?" syndrome. Col. Michael, the leader of Blue Cosmos, is spoken of like a holdover villain from the TV show. But he's actually a Living MacGuffin that was introduced in this film; he doesn't even fight the heroes. 

Those unfamiliar with either TV season will find the heroes decently compelling. Kira and Lacus get some nice romantic moments in the first act, some surprisingly decent melodrama when new character Agnes tries to get in between them, and they share a Gundam together in the final battle. Lacus gets her best solo moment when she repeatedly resists Tao's literally hypnotic charm. Kira also confronts his former rival turned friend, Athrun Zala, in a gloriously over-the-top act two punch out which sees Shinn clobbered when he tries to stop them. The secondary couple, Captain Murrue Ramius (also the film's narrator) and hotshot pilot Mu La Flaga, have a few nice moments too. It was funny to see Team Kira hijack Murrue's ship, Millenium, while several armadas openly fail to stop them.

Now for the villains. Tao's nice guy act is very convincing, especially when he feigns indignation over COMPASS's alleged betrayal. Eventually, we realize how much of an entitled creep he is. Lacus showing sympathy for him in his last moments is a bit excessive, but that's validated by one last moment between him and his lieutenant, Ingrid. Aura, the seemingly young Queen of Foundation, turns out to be older and crueler than she looks. Amongst the Black Knights, Foundation's Royal Guard, we have the smug snake Shura Serpentine and the obnoxious Redelard Tradoll. Neither of them will be missed. Finally, we have Agnes, who turns to their side for selfish reasons. Still, you'll want to pity her a bit more than Tao.

What else does it have? The film has about three extended battle scenes. The opening battle is a good way to show Team Kira do what they do best. The anti-Blue Cosmos operation gets really scary when Shura mentally attacks Kira and drives him to cross a Demarcation Line. It gets especially nightmarish when nukes get involved, and the film doesn't shy away from showing civilians and soldiers getting flash-fried by either the nukes or Requiem. The final battle was pretty cool, but it was a bit incomprehensible as nearly all of Team Kira's Gundams adopted the same color scheme. Which was which? That aside, the Mobile Suit animation was pretty well done. Series composer Toshihiko Sahashi provides a decent score for this outing, though it was surprisingly hard to hear it properly at times. 

This is not an easy entry point into the "Cosmic Era" of Gundam lore. Fortunately, both seasons of the anime are ready to watch on Netflix if you want to get in there. I never watched anything past SEED's first half, largely due to its initial timeslot getting messed up, but I still had memories of what I saw. I was still invested in this film's central drama even amongst the piling up subplots and massive cast. I even got used to the newer dub cast's* performances pretty quickly. All in all, I found Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Freedom a good finale for this part of the franchise. Do come prepared, though.

* For those interested, the series was initially dubbed in Canada, while a new American cast took over for the HD Remastered Edition a few years ago.

It Ends with Us

 Did anyone expect me to review this film? 

I almost didn't, but with a movie theater gift card, I decided to give it a go. And so, let's check out It Ends with Us, and see what the fuss is all about.

Christy Hall adapted Colleen Hoover's novel for Justin Baldoni to direct and star in. But before we meet his Ryle Kinkaid, we meet the actual protagonist, Lily Bloom (Blake Lively). After a prologue, in which she struggles to say anything for her dad's funeral (for good reason, as we later learn), Lily returns to Boston to set up her own florist shop. She decides to enjoy the view atop a random apartment building, and that's where she, and we, meet Ryle, a famous surgeon, kicking a chair. She's still intrigued by this handsome stranger, and he with her, but they only hit it off after she hires his sister, Allysa (Jenny Slate).

Ryle, despite his charm, has a violent temper that he takes out on Lily. It gets worse when Lily reunites with her high school sweetheart, Atlas Corrigan (Brandon Skelnar), who is now a famous restaurateur. Not even Ryle and Lily getting married is enough to calm his jealous rage. Lily is no stranger to domestic abuse, for she grew up watching her dad abuse her mom (there's your good reason). How will she end her family's history of violence?

Lily's blanking out at her dad's funeral is awkwardly funny. Once we learn of her dad's abuse, that lapse becomes fully understandable, and perhaps a bit justified. "It's one of the most beautiful things I've never written." she says of her eulogy for him. She has great chemistry with Atlas, both as adults and as high schoolers (Isabella Ferrer & Alex Neustaeder are their younger selves). She spends most of the movie walking on eggshells around Ryle. We fear for her safety and somewhat understand her reluctance to leave him, or even get help. Therefore, Lively gets her best acted moment when Lily somewhat subtly calls Ryle out. All in all, she makes for a fine protagonist.

Ryle, once we get past the chair-kicking, seems like a charming guy. He may be a bit too insistent at times, but it's easy to see how he wins over Lily and her mom Jenny (Amy Morton). He's pretty believable as a nice guy, but he truly becomes frightening once his violent temper becomes impossible to ignore. The first instance he lashes out at Lily seems like a genuine accident; not so much the second. His mere presence was enough to make me shake in my seat. He does have a traumatic incident that the film, thankfully, doesn't want to use as an excuse. He's a bit graceful when Lily leaves him for good, so that's something nice.

Slate, as Allysa, is this film's ray of sunshine. She's not only funny, but she's a genuinely good friend for her eventual sister-in-law. She gets the film's single best-acted scene when she reveals the aforementioned traumatic incident and implores Lily to leave Ryle. If only one of the cast ends up getting Oscar-nominated, it should be her, and that scene will be why. Her husband, Marshall (Hasan Minhaj), is a similar breath of fresh air. How he and Alyssa announce their upcoming parenthood is pretty amusing.

The screenplay accidentally stretches itself beyond credibility thanks to a pivotal flashback. See, not only did Daddy Dearest (Kevin McKidd) abuse his wife, but he also clobbered Atlas when he caught him with Lily. The film really doesn't address the fallout of that incident, other than Atlas getting loaded into an ambulance. I'd think that would make his violent temper also impossible to ignore. So, a eulogizer speaking so highly of him at his funeral is appalling in hindsight. Another writing quibble, albeit a lighter issue, is that the finale is a bit too long.

The opening shot, as photographed by Barry Petersen, is a stunning flyover of smalltown Maine, complete with the sky reflected in a river. It's accompanied by a wonderful opening theme from composers Rob Simonsen & Duncan Blickenstaff. In terms of production design, Ryle's apartment and Atlas's restaurant are great to look at. Some of the violence is a bit incomprehensible, but I think you'll get some of the point rather well.

There's a sequel novel, It Starts with Us, that I'm not too interested in seeing as a film. For one thing, I don't like what I've read about it. For another, as imperfect as how It Ends with Us ended, it's still nice & rewarding. The feud between Lively and Baldoni might make a sequel moot anyway, but at least we have this movie. Now that I've seen it, I think it's a decent romantic drama. It's still in theaters, if you're curious about it ... or not.

I Saw the TV Glow

I Saw the TV Glow last night. I saw all the pretty colors form into sequential images that told me a story. The story spoke to me and …

JETHRO! What are you doing?!

Oh, hi Vance. I got lost in the moment.

Obviously. What is this film you’re reviewing?

It’s called I Saw the TV Glow, which ran in theaters a few months ago, but I only saw last night on Amazon Prime. This is the latest film from writer/director Jane Schoenbrun. Sit back and let me tell you a sequential tale.

Go on.

One night in 1996, Owen (Ian Foreman), a shy middle-schooler, finds upperclassman Maddy (Brigitte Lundy-Paine) reading up on the hit TV show The Pink Opaque. The show follows two girls, Isabel & Tara (Helena Howard & Lindsey Jordan) as they battle “Big Bad” Mr. Melancholy (Emma Portner) and his monsters-of-the-week. Owen is intrigued by the show, while his parents Frank & Brenda (Fred Durst & Danielle Deadwyler) don’t see what the fuss is about. All it takes is for one impromptu sleepover at Maddy’s place and he’s hooked.

Over the next two years, Owen (now Justice Smith) avidly watches the show on VHS tapes made for him by Maddy. The show is suddenly canceled that fall, just as Maddy runs away and Brenda dies of cancer. Over the next eight years, Owen leads a monotonous life, until Maddy reappears, firmly believing that they are actually Isabel and Tara. Has she been watching too much TV, or is there some truth to her claims?

This is a horror film all about existential dread. The scariest thing about it isn't the monsters, gruesome as they are, but the prospect of living a lonely life. We see Owen living that life as the years go on. He finds it hard to connect to people, while the one person he did connect to heads off to pursue a "fantasy." That existential dread actually amplifies the surreality of it all, especially after he watches The Pink Opaque's final episode. In the last scene, Owen suffers a breakdown which nobody notices, before things get especially strange. How can you not empathize with Owen after all is said and done?

It's more enjoyable to see Owen and Maddy initially bond over The Pink Opaque. She doesn't see any issue in introducing him to her favorite show; instead, she easily lends him her episode guide. It's quite admirable to see them become friends that quickly. Lundy-Paine gets some standout acting moments as Maddy's "stability" deteriorates. At one point, an episode of The Pink Opaque suddenly moves her to tears; at another, she gives a disturbing monologue about her trying to relive the show's last episode. That involves her being buried alive, and she even pitches Owen the idea of joining her. If I haven't made myself clear, Maddy is an especially compelling deuterogamist. 

Perhaps the only comic relief comes later on, when Owen revisits the show and realizes that it's a hokey bowl of mush instead of an intense Buffy-esque drama. I'm sure we can relate to that shock to some extent. I'd be here all day if I were to thematically dissect this film.

Instead, I'll get to its technical qualities. The cinematography by Erik K. Yue is illuminated with mesmerizing neon purple, while the production design by Brandon Tonnor-Connolly accentuates Owen & Maddy's forlorn life rather well. The Pink Opaque even looks like a relic of its time from what we see of it. I'm not exaggerating when I say how The Pink Opaque's monsters are all gruesome. Mr. Melancholy, his twin demons Marco (also Portner) and Polo (Madaline Riley), and the ice cream man Mr. Sprinkly (Albert Birney), are all nightmare-fuel incarnate, and the makeup and visual effects people responsible need to be commended for that. The foreboding score by Alex G and intense sound mix are also worthy of praise.

All in all, I Saw the TV Glow isn't an easy film to watch. It's also not that easy to succinctly describe. Whatever the case, I'm sure you'll get an unforgettable movie experience if you can relate to its young protagonists' existential dread. See it soon if you want to see what I mean. But whatever you do, don't watch this before bedtime! Next episode: a surprise movie review!

The Crow

His name is Eric. 

He's not The Crow, but he might as well be on the basis of "sure, why not?" 

Whatever his name is, James O'Barr's undead comic book superhero is back to haunt movie theaters. When Alex Proyas adapted The Crow in 1994, he created a film defined by its gothic aesthetics and, unfortunately, the on-set death of star Brandon Lee in a mishap with a prop gun. This new film spent years in development hell, cycling in directors and stars before Rupert Sanders and Bill Skarsgard swooped in. Was it worth it?

Eric (Skarsgard) is a tortured soul living a quiet life at rehab. A new resident, Shelly (FKA Twigs), catches his eye, and the feelings are mutual. Shelly has incriminating evidence against the literally demonic crime lord Vincent Roeg (Danny Huston). She and Eric escape rehab when Roeg and his goons come looking for her. The goons eventually find her and kill them both.

As Shelly sinks below an otherworldly river, Eric finds himself at an otherworldly trainyard. Kronos (Sami Bouajila) assigns him to find Roeg, who is centuries past his expiration date, and kill him and his goons. Eric takes up his undead quest for vengeance with the help of a ghostly crow. Roeg soon decides to extract Eric's secret of immortality. Eventually.

The screenplay by Zach Baylin & William Schneider takes quite a while before it gets to Eric & Shelly's murders, and quite longer before Eric commits to his superhero look. In the meantime, we get plenty of time to see Eric & Shelly bond together through music. Eric also has flashbacks to a horse he failed to save from a barbed wire fence. The film treats the horse like Poe's Lenore, but we learn practically nothing about it. Roeg has the ability to compel people to murder or suicide, an ability which he uses in his first scene. That's about the most interesting thing about this villain. His compelling voice also plays into Shelly's dark secret, which makes it a bit time consuming when it tests Eric's love for her. Overall, the film has a thin plot stretched over 111 minutes, and I thought going in it would be longer.

Was there anything that worked? Eric and Shelly are quite likable, both together and apart, and it's perfectly horrifying when Roeg's goons find them. Eric spends most of his quest as an immortal punching bag for Roeg's goons, albeit one that shoots back. It's still satisfying when he cuts through them at an Opera House. That scene is a decent showcase for Meyerbeer's Robert Le Diable, and not, as I thought, one of many operas based on the myth of Orpheus. Marian (Laura Birn), Roeg's right-hand woman, gets a decent pity moment before Eric gets to her, even if it's too little, too late. Shelly's friends, Zadie (Isabella Wei) and Dorm (Sebastian Orozco), may have limited screentime, but they are still pitiable. 

What really helps the film is its technicals, particularly Steve Annis's cinematography and the production design. It's nothing less than stunning when we see a massive murder of crows swarming around that ghostly trainyard. There's also some great location filming in the Prague and Munich. There's some great makeup work for Eric's evolving looks and a decent score by Volker Bertelmann. Their work is much more memorable than the story, for sure.

Was it a bad idea to remake The Crow? Not necessarily, for its central premise has always been pretty compelling. It is a bad idea, however, to make this new film this slow. It's still quite stunning in places, and its big Opera fight scene is almost worth sitting through it all. Maybe Eric's next cinematic life will be as successful as his first. Until then, I got to fly off and find the source of my next review. Expect one before the month is out.

Back to Black

 Did you think I forgot about this movie? 

No, I was biding my time until it became available for streaming. And then, I bided my time until it got to Peacock. And then, I bided my time until I finally decided to get to it. I know I teased you about it, but it's happening. In short, it's finally time to get back to Back to Black.

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson reunites with her Nowhere Boy screenwriter, Matt Greenlagh, for this biopic of Amy Winehouse. We're first introduced to Amy (Marisa Abela) as an aspiring musician in London. She quickly gets famous when she gets the opportunity to do her debut album, Frank. Her record label immediately wants her to change her stage persona, which she doesn't want to do. She meets Blake Fielder-Civil (Jack O'Connell) at a pub, and they quickly hit it off. Their stormy relationship leads to them getting married. All the while, Amy is inspired to write the titular album, her last one.

My summary sounds like a bunch of bullet points, but that's because the film pretty much is that. Let's take her rise to fame, for example. She gets a demo submitted to 19 Management; she tells them she doesn't want to be like the Spice Girls, whom 19 also managed; and bam, she's famous. We barely see, and are mostly told, about her creating her music. Blake's assault of a pub owner is also relegated to "tell, not show." The film shoulders her with her eventually fatal addictions, with her dad, Mitch (Eddie Marsan), and Blake (himself portrayed as an addict) trying in vain to reach her. Mitch catching her with marijuana leads to an unintentionally parodic argument. It's kind of difficult to care about Amy's eventual fate with the film's distance. 

Abela is still likable as Amy. Despite the film's narrative shortcomings, I cared about her relationship with her grandma, Cynthia (Lesley Manville), and Cynthia's eventual death. The title song plays around Cynthia's funeral, and it cutting to her actually recording it, and her breakdown upon finishing, is still effective. On a lighter note, it's nice to see Amy pal around with two other girls, even if those two are rendered irrelevant past their early scene. Her winning her multiple Grammies was also a strong moment. Abela's actual singing as Amy is almost on-point with the actual singer. The makeup and hairstylists also do a pretty good job recreating Amy's various looks.

What else can I say about it? Blake is presented as a dashing rogue who tries to overcome his demons. His audience sympathy may vary, but at least he's more memorable than whoever Amy's boyfriend was at the start. Mitch joining Amy in a duet of Fly Me to the Moon is his most memorable scene; otherwise, he is just fine. Cynthia, as I alluded to above, is the film's most memorable supporting character. I also liked the location filming at the London Zoo. Yeah, that's it.

Back to Black's is a confounding film. I didn't hate the film, but I wasn't too impressed with it. I never saw the documentary Amy, but I'd imagine part of why it won the Oscar years ago was because it made people care about her eventual fate. Say what you want of Bohemian Rhapsody, but its musical performances were nothing short of electric. Back to Black's bullet-pointed script doesn't give us much context into its subject's short life. It's only elevated somewhat above "meh" because of Abela's performance. It's still on Peacock if you want to watch it. Do you?

Alien: Romulus

Transcript of Radio Message

STAR DATE: 8/X/20XX

Can you hear me?

This is Jethro the Cat, helmsman of the USCSS CONRAD. A funny thing happened today; you see, while we were scavenging on Planet Whattever, I was telling the crew about my opinions on the two Alien prequels, Prometheus and Alien: Covenant. I told them I thought they weren't bad, and in fact, I even admired the epic esoterisms of Prometheus. They immediately marooned me.

Fortunately, I have a slew of movies to keep me company on this rock. One of them is Alien: Romulus, Fede Alvarez's interquel between 1979's Alien and 1986's Aliens. I'll tell you about it while I wait for a rescue.

On the mining colony of Jackson's Star, Rain Carradine (Cailee Spaeny), her adopted android brother Andy (David Jonsson) and her friends, are overworked by the ominous Weyland-Yutani Corporation. Their planet is devoid of daylight and fair working conditions, but they see a better future on the much more hospitable Yvaga III. They just need to prepare for a nine-year voyage to that planet, somehow.

When the space station Renaissance suddenly drifts into orbit, Rain's friends - siblings Tyler (Archie Renaux) & Kay (Isabella Merced), their cousin Bjorn (Spike Fearn) and his adopted sister Navarro (Aileen Wu) - plot to abscond with the station's cryopods. Andy is needed to interface with the station, while Rain sees this as her first opportunity to get off the planet. The Renaissance will crash into the planetary rings in a few days, but the job will take them much less than that. Surely, it will work, right? Of course, not!

Our heroes get aboard the Renaissance, which is split into the subsections Romulus and Remus, rather easily. But they find out that the cryopods won't last them the whole nine-years. That's when they come across the station's biological experiments, the Xenomorphs themselves, who don't intend to let anyone leave alive. To make matters worse, the countdown to destruction rapidly accelerates to less than an hour. Nobody's safe, but our heroes have to escape somehow.

Alvarez has assembled a good cast to play the crew. Jonsson technically plays two characters, for while Andy is normally socially awkward, he becomes colder with increased intelligence after an upgrade. You'll be impressed with the contrast once you see it. Rain, meanwhile, is quite compelling as she tries to work her way through her predicaments. You'll be impressed with her resourcefulness when it's all done. Bjorn's abrasive attitude makes him a bit unlikable, but he's still pitiable when everything goes wrong. By contrast, you will feel sorry for Kay when it's all done. Tyler is an okay guy, though him teaching Rain how to use a pulse rifle has an amusing twist. Navarro makes the most of her limited screentime.

There's another person you'll remember here. He's Daniel Betts, who is remolded through digital trickery into the likeness of Ian Holm's Ash from the first film, to play the new android Rook. The digital facelift mostly works, though it was appallingly done when we first get a look at him. The digital voice, meanwhile, is scarily flawless. He's quite believable when he tries to warn the crew of the Xenomorphs. He's still believable when he leaves the crew to die "for the company's interest," and later, when he breaks after Rain outwits him. The digital impersonation might be unnecessary, but Rook is still a memorable movie villain.

The technicals mostly work wonderfully aside from that facelift. Whether it's the opening scene set aboard the wreckage of the first film's Nostromo, or the up-close planetary rings, the outer space scenery is nothing short of outstanding thanks to cinematographer Galo Olivares and the visual effects team. The Renaissance is a marvelous feat of Naaman Marshall's production design. It only gets better whenever the station experiences fits of zero gravity. The Xenomorphs are perfectly gruesome organisms brought to life with a seamless mix of puppetry and CGI. Just wait until you see the final Xenomorph. The action scenes, as edited by Jake Roberts and scored by Benjamin Wallfisch, are all unforgettable set-pieces. The only reason I had to check my watch was to see if the countdown took as long as it said it be. To my surprise, both movie and real times pretty much matched.

This maybe the closest we'll get to a film based on the video game Alien: Isolation. Alien: Romulus nails its tension and visual style rather well. Unlike the actual video game movie I reviewed this week, this one actually has characters you'll easily get invested with. You'll still want the best for this crew even if they're at their worst. This is nearly two-hours well spent at any price. So, with that in mind, this is Jethro, previously of the Conrad, signing off.

PS: Jethro was rescued within a day of this message.

UPDATE: Edited error in character relations.

Borderlands

 Let's get a move on with Borderlands, in which Eli Roth tries to replicate the visuals and audacity of Gearbox's celebrated video games. I'm sure that a decade spent in development has given us something great, right?

Right?!

Lilith (Cate Blanchett) is an intergalactic "scumbag bounty hunter" who'd rather shoot people than talk to them. One day, Deukalian Atlas (Edgar Ramirez), the richest man in the universe, hires her for an important mission. His daughter, Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), was taken by the rogue soldier Roland (Kevin Hart) to Pandora, a backwater planet where various rogues and monsters roam. Lilith is also from Pandora, but she doesn't want to go back home. But who can say no to a lot of money?

As it turns out, there's an ancient MacGuffin vault left by the Eridians, Pandora's previous inhabitants, that Tiny Tina was cloned to open. Roland and the masked "Psycho" Krieg (Florian Munteanu) took her to Pandora on her own volition. Lilith and her robot "buddy" Claptrap (Jack Black) join them on their Vault Hunt as soon as they find them. They're soon joined by Dr. Patricia Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis) and are briefly assisted by Mad Moxxi (Gina Gershon). Will this ragtag bunch of misfits reach the vault before Atlas does?

Theoretically speaking, the casting is fine. Technically, nothing's wrong with casting Blanchett and Curtis as Lilith and Tannis, even if they're decades older than their game characters. However, the script by Roth and Joe Crombie (along with several uncredited writers), gives them little to do. Most of the characters are rather meh, saved for the unhinged Krieg and Tiny Tina, the latter of whom has some decent pathos as she describes her life growing up in a lab. I wasn't exactly gripped when Roland had his last stand against several hostile Psychos; it was beyond obvious this wouldn't be his last stand. Atlas is a rather bland villain, while Commander Knoxx (Janina Gavankar), has a severely quick change of heart.  

What other quibbles do I have about the writing? Lilith quickly abandons her "shoot first, ask never" approach once Atlas pays her handsomely upfront. Maybe it's for the best, as it got old quickly in that one scene. The other characters refer to her as a "scumbag bounty hunter" so many times like it's her character class in Dungeons and Dragons. Is it a character class in the games? Lilith is given a constant narration to compensate for the film's protracted post-production, which had Tim Miller fill in for Roth when he was filming Thanksgiving. The film rushes Lilith to meet tour guide Marcus (Benjamin Byron Davis) the minute she lands on Pandora with the "help" of some narration. The Eridian technology buried in the Vault is as utterly irrelevant as the God-Like monster trapped with it. Let's move onto the technical stuff.

The film does a decent job in translating the games' outlandish universe into live action. I'm certain that a film with masked Psychos, Tiny Tina's bunny ears and Pandora's unusual geysers can't be taken too seriously. The production and costume designers convey that point rather well. Claptrap's CGI effects mesh well with his environments, though the humans have some glaringly obvious chroma keying in places. Steve Jablonsky's score isn't exactly memorable, but it's probably worth a listen. I think I said enough.

The phrase "Yeah, that happened" summarizes Borderlands. It's not a masterpiece, nor is it unwatchable; instead, it's a film that exists. I'm sure it'll do some good if it gets someone to play the video games. But for me, it's just a way to spend 102-minutes if you have nothing else to do. I don't want to imagine how it could have been worse. I will instead focus on the next film I have on my docket. Prepare to scream in space when it arrives either tomorrow or early Saturday.

Young Woman and the Sea

Are you up for epic sports stories after the Olympics? 

Disney has a new sports film, Young Woman and the Sea, that made satisfy your need. Joachim Rønning's biopic of Trudy Ederle, the first woman to swim the English Channel, debuted on Disney Plus a few weeks ago after a limited theatrical release in May. Let's see how it is.

In 1914 New York, Trudy (Daisy Ridley) had an almost fatal bout of measles. She pulls through just after the doctor gives up all hope, though her hearing starts to decline afterwards. Her sister, Meg (Tilda Cobham-Harvey), takes up swimming lessons at their mother, Gertrude's (Jeanette Hain) insistence; Trudy later joins at Gertrude's reluctance. Trudy proves to be such a swimming pro that she is eventually scouted for the 1924 Paris Olympics. However, partially because of her trainer, Jabez Wolffe's (Christopher Eccleston) interference, she only gets a bronze medal. That's when she decides to swim the English Channel. She'll have to overcome natural and human difficulties to make that epic swim.

The screenplay, which Jeff Nathanson adapted from Glenn Stout's 2009 book, feels like many of Disney's inspirational sports dramas from back in the day (like Secretariat, which I reviewed in this blog's first year). I'm sure you'll recognize the formula once the montages kick in; we get at least two in quick succession when Trudy takes up swimming! But I can't deny how engrossing it gets at times, partially because both sets of actresses playing Meg and Trudy feel like real sisters. You'll be moved when Trudy recovers from measles, and later laugh when the sisters ditch a suitor on a pier. Even with its sports movie formula, you'll also feel something when the British shore lights up with bonfires to guide Trudy to the beach.

Trudy maybe a simple movie underdog, but it's beyond easy to cheer for her when she proves her doubters wrong. Just ask James Sullivan (Glenn Fleshler), a bigwig who only sponsors her after she beats his seemingly impossible swim challenge. She's surrounded by a much more supportive cast of characters, which include swim coach Charlotte Epstein (Sian Clifford); her father Henry (Kim Bodnia); Bill Burgess (Stephen Graham), the second man to swim the Channel and her second trainer; and Benji Zammit (Alexander Karim), a fellow swimmer. All of them are likable in their own way. Wolffe, in contrast, might easily convince you that he's a gruff, yet fair trainer. But the nice guy act finally implodes once the film implies him sabotaging Trudy's first Channel swim.

What else can I say about it? The production design by Nora Takacs Ekberg perfectly presents New York and the open ocean as both romantic and down-to-earth. Coney Island exemplifies the former, while Epstein's dilapidated swim class exemplifies the latter. The visual effects and cinematography by Oscar Maura are equally impressive, particularly when Trudy and her guides encounter a massive school of jellyfish. An early shot, where we follow a fire truck to a plot-relevant ferry fire, is quite memorable as well. Amelia Warner's sweeping score actually gets better the more you listen to it. As a tangent, I saw the film with subtitles, but several subtitled lines aren't actually said on-screen. Did they goof, or foreshadow Trudy's worsening hearing? You make the call.

Movies like this are why I find it worth it to keep my Disney Plus subscription. While I would have liked to have seen Young Woman and the Sea on the big screen, it still makes for a fine home matinee. It may be a bit formulaic, but it's still compelling throughout its 129-minutes. Swim over to Disney Plus soon, and you might agree. My next review will see me back to the multiplexes; the only question is, will I like what I see?

Kinds of Kindness

Yorgos Lanthimos's Kinds of Kindness, his follow-up to his Oscar-winning Poor Things, has just come to a theater near me. Let's see if I can describe this nearly three-hour film succinctly.

Lanthimos and Efthimis Filippou wrote the film as a "Triptych Fable" consisting of three segments. They share a combined company of Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Willem Dafoe, Hong Chau, Margaret Qualley, Joe Alwyn, Mamoudou Athie, and Yorgos Stefanakos, the last of whom appears in some form during each segment as the living MacGuffin "R.M.F."

The Death of R.M.F.: Robert Fletcher (Plemons) is a corporate drone whose personal life is dictated by his boss, Raymond (Dafoe). Robert draws the line when Raymond orders him to kill R.M.F. by car crash. His good life quickly falls apart, but he finds some help in the grim task with Rita (Stone).

This is the most visually appealing of the three segments. The film was shot in New Orleans, and there's a stunning nighttime shot of the city in neon courtesy of cinematographer Robbie Ryan. The production design by Anthony Gasparro is highlighted by Raymond's claustrophobic office and his splendorous mansion. And while the film is rather long, editor Yorgos Mavropsaridis perfectly builds up tension before each quick display of vehicular violence.

The film is about doormats content with being doormats. Robert is such a doormat that he's monotone when he's trying to be self-assertive. It's probably the funniest thing in this extremely dark comedy, other than a weird tangent about dogs in the next segment. But it's hard to get invested when Robert tries to get back into Raymond's good graces after the latter "frees" him. His compliance with Raymond's demands to drug his wife, Sarah (Chau) into infertility, makes it harder to like him. Let's move on to the next segments.

R.M.F. is Flying centers the least on R.M.F., other than an easy-to-miss cameo. It instead involves Daniel (Plemons), a police officer whose marine biologist wife, Liz (Stone), has just been rescued after she was lost at sea. But he slowly suspects that "Liz" is actually an imposter. He quickly goes mad from his paranoia. That's as about as family friendly as I can phrase it.

The level of tension here is astounding. You can actually feel Daniel's sanity crumble as Liz exhibits contradictory behavior. How so? Before, she detested chocolate, but she goes for a chocolate cake once she gets home. The horror! It gets to actual horror when Daniel and his partner, Neil (Athie), make a traffic stop that turns into a bizarre case of police brutality. Things get worse from then on, and nothing that the milquetoast Dr. Evans (Nathan Mulligan) says can assure us. By then, you'll realize that this is a portrait of an abusive marriage, which is made clear when Liz willingly obliges Daniel's nauseating requests. "Isn't it wonderful?" as the film asks repeatedly.

R.M.F. Eats a Sandwich has cultists Andrew & Emily (Plemons & Stone) search for a specific woman who can raise the dead. A woman named Rebecca points them into the direction of her veterinarian twin sister, Ruth (Qualley plays both twins). The Chosen One is supposed to have a twin sister, and Emily saw Rebecca in a dream. So, ergo, Ruth's the One. But things are complicated when Emily's estranged husband, Joseph (Alwyn), comes back into her life. There's also the requirement that the Chosen One's twin sister needs to be dead. For reasons.

R.M.F. maybe in the title, as his corpse shows up later, but this is Emily's story. She's quite sympathetic as she tries to connect with her family despite the confines of the cult (Dafoe & Chau are the leaders, Omi & AKA). She's quite pitiful, almost amusingly so, when the cult excommunicates her for "impurity." But despite her attempts to rejoin them, which involves human and animal cruelty, she shows her self-assertiveness when she disavows Joseph for his abusiveness. See, there is some light in this tunnel. That tunnel is dimmed by the finale's darkly amusing punchline.

This might be a film you'll want to see to believe, that is, if you enjoy seeing a cast of doormats getting stomped on for 164-minutes. If not, then you've got your options both on streaming and in theatres. I think that about sums this movie up. Stay tuned for the next review.

The Imaginary

This must be the year of imaginary friends.

We had Imaginary, a horror film released in March, and IF, a family film released in May. But Japan saw its own movie about imaginary friends last December with The Imaginary, Studio Ponoc's anime film based on AF Harrold's novel. It premiered on Netflix last month, and you'll hear about it now.

Rudger (Louie Rudge-Buchanan in English) is the imaginary friend of Amanda Shuffleup (Evie Kiszel). He and Amanda have been inseparable in the just over three years after her dad's death. They frequently venture off into imaginary worlds from the comfort of Amanda's attic. Her mom, Lizzie (Hayley Atwell), can't see Rudger, but she doesn't mind his invisible presence. Rudger is soon noticed by Mr. Bunting (Jeremy Sweet), a creepy man who devours "Imaginaries" like Rudger. Amanda and Rudger escape one attempt on his life, but she runs in front of a car ...

With Amanda comatose, Rudger starts to fade away into nothingness. An eerie cat named Zinzan (Kal Penn) guides him to a magical city where Imaginaries thrive on unlimited imagination. The Imaginaries are employed as day-players to join kids on their dreamtime adventures. They may even get permanently employed in a new imaginary form. Rudger, however, wants to check up on Amanda. He doesn't have much time, for Mr. Bunting is still looking for him, and it's physically impossible for him to remain outside the library for long.

Director Yoshiyuki Momose, a longtime animator for Studio Ghibli, works from a screenplay by Ponoc's founder Yoshiaki Nishimura. The story they tell is pretty good, even if the pacing is sometimes a bit off. It takes several encounters with Mr. Bunting before the story gets going. But in the meantime, we get plenty of time to know Rudger and Amanda. That makes it shocking when she gets run over. The Imaginary City is quite fascinating, as is how the Imaginaries find new real friends. A few moments, like a flashback to Amanda creating Rudger and Lizzie finding Mr. Shuffleup's last message to Amanda, are emotionally devastating. I watched the film with subtitles, so I was taken aback whenever they flip-flopped between "Rudger" and "Roger"; even the Space Opera dream Rudger joins calls him the latter! But much to my relief, this was a plot point. A good one. 

It helps that we have a tangible villain with Mr. Bunting. You'll instantly recognize him as the bad guy long before he does anything nefarious. His sniffing out Imaginaries is disturbing on so many levels, which isn't helped by his mouth turning into a void when he feeds. He savors his own villainy with every syllable he utters. His most enjoyable moment, naturally, is when he meets his demise. He has his own Imaginary, a little girl who looks awfully like Sadako, who proves quite an efficient enforcer. She's quite compelling when she makes a climactic heel-face turn, though I can't explain anymore. 

So, what about the other Imaginaries? They're all highly merchandisable, highly appealing creatures, some of whom are implied to be the muses of the likes of Shakespeare and Beethoven. Rudger's friend group consists of the human Emily (Sky Katz), the Imaginaries' de-facto leader; Snowflake (Roger Craig Smith), a cuddly hippo; Crusher-of-Bones (Courtenay Taylor), who is far less threatening than his name implies; and Fridge (LeVar Burton), an old sheepdog who proves very plot relevant. Fridge and Zinzan both make for great mentor figures. In fact, all of the Imaginaries are likable, but beware, not all of them make it out alive. What's worse is that no one remembers them soon after. Yikes.

What's far more appealing is the animation style and the score. The film's watercolored animation style works wonders for both the fantastical and ordinary realms Rudger and company inhabit. The Imaginary City takes the form of something new every night - one night, it's Venice, another it's 19th-century Nagasaki - and both forms are as appealing as the real cities. The Bookstore Lizzie and Amanda call home is, by far, the most appealing of the real-world locales. The score by Kenji Tamai and his company, agehasprings, perfectly accentuates the film's many moods. The film's opening, Amanda and Rudger's rollicking sleigh ride, and Mr. Bunting's theme, provide some of the best aural highlights.

What else can I say about it? The Imaginary is a splendid family film that will resonate with you in whatever language you watch it in. You'll have little trouble remembering anyone in the cast, whether it's the young protagonists or their monstrous villain, as their stories unfold over 105-minutes. I'd be tempted to compare this to IF, but I'd rather you Netflix and Chill and watch it for yourself. I might have made it sound a bit straightforward, but I assure you there are some surprises in store. That's it for now.

Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F

Axel Foley has been off the movie beat since 1994, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. After thirty years of prospective scripts that went nowhere, Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills Cop is finally back, this time on Netflix, with Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. So, what brings Detroit's finest back to Beverly Hills?

Well, a few reasons. When his old pal, Jeffery (Paul Reiser), retires to save Axel's career after his latest stunt, Jeffrey encourages him to get in touch with his daughter, Jane (Taylour Paige). Jane is a defense attorney whose latest client, Sam Enriquez (Damien Diaz), is accused of killing an undercover cop, Copeland. Jane is threatened by the actual killers when she suspects that Copeland was corrupt. This forces PI Billy Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) to summon Axel back to Beverly Hills, though he disappears when Axel arrives.

Axel quickly gets arrested after he finds the bad guys raiding Rosewood's office. This leads to a friendly reunion with his other BH buddy, now-Chief John Taggart (John Ashton), and a not-so-happy one with Jane. Jane and Axel haven't spoken in years, though they have to work together to find the exculpatory evidence Rosewood recovered. They're joined by Det. Bobby Abbott (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who happens to be Jane's ex, and are impeded by Captain Grant (Kevin Bacon), a man so smug that Axel immediately realizes that he's the big bad. Can they save the day without wrecking the city? No.

I only saw Beverly Hills Cop III on HBO eons ago, and I remember nothing about it. I think I'll have little trouble remembering this sequel, which marks the directorial debut of commercial director Mark Malloy and features several names from this summer's Bad Boys: Ride or Die (writer Will Beall, producer Jerry Bruckheimer, editor Dan Lebental and composer Lorne Balfe). A lot of it is due to Axel, who's just as spry in his sixties as he was in his twenties. His street smarts are funny, though it's quite impactful when he's too tired to use them at one point. He still gets to use them to get the drop on the bad guys. He may be irritating to some, but we see how he gets the job done. Him repairing his relationship with Jane is a compelling throughline during these crazy 117-minutes.

The opening scene has Axel set up his partner, Det. Woody (Kyle S. More), for heroism busting Hockey Game thieves. You can feel his nervousness when he joins Axel for a destructive snowplow chase. Abbot later gets his own reluctant hero moment when he commanders a helicopter that he can't fly. At all. Abbot, however, proves himself a hero when he joins Axel, Taggert and Rosewood for the final battle. Needless to say, Woody and Abbot are as likable as Axel's usual crew. 

I didn't necessarily mind Taggert being blind to Grant's obvious evil, or Rosewood being absent for most of the plot. Both men are fine. However, I did mind that Enriquez was absent after his one scene. Grant made for a decent big bad, though. Serge (Bronson Pinchot), another returning character, shows up for what is essentially an open house stakeout. His partner, Ashley's (Nasim Pedrad) cheery aggressiveness ("You guys are adorable. I honestly kind of hate it.") is more bewildering than funny.

What is funny, however, is Axel's first chase in Beverly Hills, in which he pursues Grant's goons on a Meter Maid Car, whose owner will not give up without a fight. That, in addition to all other set pieces, are as exciting as they are often funny. Balfe's score, which frequently incorporates Harold Faltermeyer's titular leitmotif, is quite good even as it gives way to returning classics like Bob Seger's Shakedown. What else can I say about it?

Anyone looking for a great action comedy will find one with Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. While the story has its flaws, its main character's cinematic return is a welcome one. You won't be lost if you haven't seen any of the past films in forever, or at all. Just press play on Netflix and you'll be in for a fun home matinee. But what if you aren't in for an R-Rated action film? Well, there's a new family film on Netflix to tell you about. That review's next.

Golden Kamuy

It's a new month, which means it's time for me to review old movies. And by old, I mean several months old. Golden Kamuy, the live-action film of Satoru Nada's manga, debuted in Japan in January and premiered stateside on Netflix in May. It's already been adapted into four seasons of TV anime, of which I've seen some impressively animated snippets. Let's see some more.

Saichi Sugimoto (Kento Yamazaki) is a veteran of the Russo-Japanese War, where he was nicknamed "Immortal Sugimoto" for his persistent inability to die. By 1907, he's down on his luck, panning for gold in the Hokkaido hills. His fortunes seemingly change when a drunkard, Goto (Makita Sports), tells him of a huge stache of gold. It was stolen from the Ainu - the indigenous people of Japan - by Noppera-bo, a prisoner of the infamous Abashiri Prison. Noppera-bo tattooed a map to the gold amongst twenty-four of his fellow prisoners, all of whom soon escaped. Goto is one of those prisoners; he soon unsuccessfully tries to silence Sugimoto and is later killed by a bear.

Sugimoto sets off for the gold, joined by the Ainu huntress Asirpa (Anna Yamada), and Yoshitake Shiraishi (Yuma Yamato), another of the escapees. Asirpa's dad was among those killed for the gold by Noppera-bo, while Sugimoto's full reasons for the gold are revealed way too late in the film. In the meantime, they encounter Sugimoto's old army division, the Seventh Division, who are also looking for the gold. Their leader, the creepy First Lt. Tsurumi (Hiroshi Tamaki), won't let our heroes have it without a fight. Our heroes will have to fight to survive. I think that sums it up.

On one level, the screenplay by Tsutomu Kuroiwa is an introduction to the usually underrepresented Ainu culture. Throughout the movie, we and Sugimoto learn several Ainu words, such as aca (father), matakarip (bears who missed hibernation), and the titular kamuys (spirits). Asirpa and Sugimoto take some convincing to try each other's cuisines; Asirpa's aversion to miso is a surprisingly funny running gag. The film even opens on a contextually profound proverb, which translates to "nothing comes from Heaven without purpose." It's interesting enough to make one want to look up more on Ainu culture; I did during the writing of this review.

On another level, it's an excellent period action film. We don't learn Sugimoto's full story until the end, but he's still an engaging protagonist. We feel for him when he openly doubts his chances of going to heaven. Asirpa is a great moral anchor for Sugimoto; her chewing him out at the end funny as it is moving. Retar, her white wolf, maybe a CGI creature along with most of the wildlife, but he's still a good presence. Shiraishi is a bit too hammy, especially when he and Sugimoto fall into a freezing river, but he's all right. Tsurumi is an unnerving villain, while the twin psychopaths under him, Kohei and Yohei Nikado, are perfect hate sinks.

Any gripes I have are relatively minor. Throughout the film, Asirpa holds Sugimoto to a "don't kill humans" rule. Yet, there's little time to dwell on Sugimoto killing someone at the end. Granted, it was one of the Nikados, but that doesn't come up in the finale. There's also a third faction who also wants the gold, who are led by the historical samurai Toshizo Hijikata (Hiroshi Tachi). Hijikata knows that the gold is worth much more than what was estimated. But that revelation is also saved for the end; he never encounters Sugimoto and company. Again, those are minor gripes because the overall story is that engaging.

We are introduced to Sugimoto's luck, along with the film's excellent production design and cinematography, at the Siege of Port Arthur. That opening battle succinctly displays the actual battle's brutality in just under ten minutes. There's quite a bit of obvious CGI, especially the aforementioned animals, but it doesn't detract from the brutal violence. Just ask the Seventh Division guys who meet a bear later on. The best visual effects allow Shuntaro Yanagi to seamlessly play both Nikados at once. Its visualization of the forests of Hokkaido and the city of Otaru are much more pleasant. The characters' manga designs are approximated rather well by the makeup and costume designers. Finally, there's a grand score by Yutaka Yamada to accentuate the action.

Golden Kamuy is supposed to have a live-action sequel series, which is why we get a somewhat incomplete ending and a montage of future characters in the mid-credits. I say somewhat incomplete, because after all Aspira and Sugimoto go through, it's narratively satisfying when they affirm their partnership. It left me intrigued to see where these two would go from here. I know I could do that already with the manga and anime, but I'm still intrigued about that live-action show. See what I'm talking about once you watch Golden Kamuy on Netflix. 

Next up, more Netflix.

Deadpool & Wolverine

 Hey, Hollywood. You missed me, didn't you? 

It's been six years and one corporate buyout since I, Deadpool, was in a movie. That's going to change now. And, oh look, I brought me a friend. He's been away from the movies longer than I have. Seven years, a year longer than me, but it's still longer! Say hello to Hughverine!

Help Me.

This is Deadpool & Wolverine. I'll leave it to him to tell you what it's about before I step in.

So, I've (Ryan Reynolds) been living my worst life ever since Deadpool 2. I broke up with my girlfriend, Vanessa, I got rejected from The Avengers (long story), and I'm a used cars salesman (and I'm not good at it!). But Mr. Paradox (Matthew Macfayden) of the TVA (Time Variance Authority, go watch Loki on Disney + for context!) sends his goons after me. He tells me that my timeline is deteriorating ever since its "anchor being" got himself killed, and he has a Time Ripper thingy to put it out of its misery. But he tells me that I can go to the "sacred timeline" and be part of the MCU. Sounds tempting, but I have another idea: replace my timeline's anchor being with another variant of himself. Who is this anchor being? It's the other guy in the title!

I eventually find a Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) of my very own. But Mr. Paradox tells me he's the worst Wolverine of them all, and not the fun kind of worst either. He sends us to the Void, a Mad Maxian wasteland filled with Marvel Movie characters Disney wants to forget. It's ruled by Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin), Professor X's evil twin sister, and she doesn't want me or Wolvie to escape. Well, fortunately, there's a team of Marvel Movie characters that can help us. Oh yeah, and a whole lot of me's.

Everybody got that? 

Here's more.

It's been six years and Deadpool's sincere irreverence hasn't diminished with age. The film literally starts with Deadpool digging up Wolverine's adamantium skeleton, which he uses, piece by piece, against waves of TVA minutemen. It plays its brutality for laughs just as much as the other films. Among many examples, let's just say that the Wolverines Deadpool encounters before the main one aren't happy to see him. It still knows when it needs to be serious; you'll feel it when Wolverine confesses his greatest failure. Cassandra is treated as a serious threat, and Corrin's performance doesn't let us forget it.

Deadpool the character is still that same fun merc-with-the-mouth. He may be rude, crude, immature and brutal, but he still has a supporting cast that he sincerely cares for. You'll definitely feel it when he calls them his world. Wolverine is a great straight man for Deadpool; their disagreements lead to some of that comic brutality. He spends the movie learning his value as a hero, which he proves when he helps Deadpool stop the Time Ripper. Meanwhile, Macfayden hams it up spectacularly as Mr. Paradox, a seemingly intimidating bureaucrat who is just a paper tiger. 

This is a film pretty dependent on knowing its references. Chris Evans shows up, not as Steve Rogers, but as Johnny Storm from Tim Story's Fantastic Four movies. We get Wesley Snipe as Blade, Jennifer Garner as Elektra, Channing Tatum as Gambit (referencing the film he almost had), and Dafne Keen as Laura/X-23 for the Resistance. A lot of other cameos disappear into crowd shots, such as Billy Clements, tagging in for Kevin Nash, as the Russian from 2004's The Punisher, a film I never saw. Let's not forget all of Deadpool's meta-commentary. You might need an annotated book to get all of the in-jokes and cameos, because I don't think I can go through them here.

The technicals were all right. There's some great production design for the TVA HQ and The Void, the latter of which is literally littered with references (including a buried 20th Century Fox logo!). There are some good visual effects for our heroes' superpowers, though Cassandra running her fingers through her victims' heads has unpolished CGI. The best effects involved Deadpool and Wolverine tearing through an army of Deadpools in one long camera shot. Speaking of Wolverine, I'm sure a lot of viewers will appreciate his new costume, which approximates his classic yellow spandex suit into live action. I think it's all right, but I especially like his reason for wearing it. There's a decent score by Rob Simonsen, though I think you'll remember all the needle drops even more.

Welcome to the MCU, Deadpool (why thank you, kitty). Some may think that Deadpool & Wolverine's multiversal gimmick reeks of desperation, but I think it's a pretty brutal joke. You won't regret it if you can tolerate comic brutality and a multiverse of references. There's a lot I have to leave out for clarity's sake. But I'm sure you'll be surprised once you see it in action; just wait until you see who plays all the Deadpools. You can disagree with me once you see the movie. It's time to get to my next reviews.

Twisters

Phone Transcript

JETHRO: Hello?

(Unknown): Pop Quiz, Hotshot! There's a movie about tornados. It makes almost a half-billion dollars - that's in 1996 money, back when money was worth something - and was even nominated for two Academy Awards. It has a cast and crew of household names, including the author of the novel that became what was then the Highest. Grossing. Movie. Of. All. Time. A license to print money, I think, so what do you do? What do you do?

JETHRO: Wait twenty-eight years to make a sequel?

(Unknown): What?!

JETHRO: You're talking about Twister, right? It just got a sequel with Twisters.

(Unknown): OK, wise guy, tell me all about it.

JETHRO: Kate Carter (Daisy Edgar-Jones) and her team of storm chasers - Javi (Anthony Ramos), Addy (Kiernan Shipka), Praveen (Nik Dodani) and her boyfriend, Jeb (Daryl McCormick) - study twisters in Oklahoma. They think they can dissipate tornadoes by launching barrels of waterlock. They find a good test case, but it's much stronger than they anticipate, and all but Kate and Javi (who was miles away) are killed. 

Years later, Kate is a storm tracker at a NOAA office when Javi recruits her to help his company, Storm-Par, test their new weather scanner in Oklahoma. During their mission, they come across "storm wrangler" Tyler Owens (Glen Powell) and his storm chasers, who are off filming their latest meteorological adventures. The "city girl" and "country boy" initially don't get along, but they have to depend on each other to survive the ever-worsening tornadoes.

(Unknown): OK, OK, that's good. Tell me more.

JETHRO: The writing credits say it's "Based on Characters by Michael Crichton and Anne-Marie Curtin," but the only returning "characters" are the Dorothy probes used by Jo and Bill Harding (Helen Hunt & Bill Paxton). The probes are used by Kate and her first team in the prologue. Afterwards, Mark L. Smith's screenplay puts Kate and the audience through relatively unfamiliar narrative territory. I'm sure a lot of people will complain about the dissimilarities, but I haven't, for the story it tells is pretty decent.

(Unknown): How so?

JETHRO: Let's start with the characters. We don't get to know Kate's doomed storm chasers for pretty long. But we get to like them during that prologue and are perfectly gut punched when they are killed. They, Kate & Javi were that believable as longtime friends. Kate is quite compelling as she spends the movie owning up for her fatal miscalculations. She goes from panicking during one twister to helping citizens take shelter during the climactic monster tornado. Her survival is just as narratively satisfying as her theories finally working. 

Tyler and his "wranglers" introduce themselves as reckless glory hounds. But these storm chasers are anything but unlikable; their professional enthusiasm is endearing; their competence is impressive, and their altruism is inspiring. It's enough to make up for them accidentally running Kate and Javi off the road during their first storm chase. You'll be invested in Tyler and Kate's growing bond during their meteorological adventures. A lot. 

Now for a few others. It's later revealed that Storm-Par's financier, Marshall Riggs, is a bad guy. But he barely registers in the plot. Javi, however, perfectly sells us and Kate on Storm-Par's altruistic endeavors because he believes in them. So, we can sympathize with him even when he insensitively blames Kate for the fatal storm chase. He makes up for that by showing up his co-worker when the latter puts profit over people. Among the various bit characters, Jeff Swearingen was sympathetic as a doomed desk clerk, while Cody Paxton (Bill's son) and Lily Smith were less so as an ignorant couple. 

(Unknown): Hurry up.

JETHRO: Its relation to science is interesting. It explores a few concepts like the Fujiwara Scale, the Fujita Scale and why hiding under an overpass is a terrible idea. But it also has Tyler and his wranglers shooting fireworks into a tornado (which gave me the impression that they dissipated that tornado). In fact, Mother Nature is treated as a more palpable villain than Riggs himself. Either way, the cinematic twisters both look and sound perfectly menacing. Each one is more nightmarish than the last. The nighttime twister that disrupts a rodeo, and the climactic one that destroys a refinery - even creating a fire whirl - and later wrecks a movie theatre, are easily the most memorable. 

(Unknown): Hurry up!

JETHRO: There's some great Oklahoma scenery from cinematographer Dan Mindel, some excellent production design by Patrick Sullivan for the post-Twister devastations, and Benjamin Wallfisch's latest impressive score. 

(Unknown): Now!

JETHRO:  Who knows how scientifically accurate Twisters is, but it's still a pretty good blockbuster. It's worth paying even a few more dollars just to see the titular meteorological menaces on the biggest screens possible. It's also worth seeing it for the personalities on any screen. Give Twisters a spin and watch two hours spin right by. That's it for now. 

Who called?

Sasquatch Sunset

The Sasquatch, also known as The Bigfoot, and not to be confused with the Yeti, also known as the Abominable Snowman. Here, in the Forests of Northern California, we find four of them living their lives. Let's call them Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Mu. Alpha is, in human equivalence, a grumpy old man; Beta is the meeker male; Gamma is the lone female and Mu is the cub. All they have to do is to survive. So, let's follow them over a year in Sasquatch Sunset and see what happens.

I've been told that the Sasquatches are actually humans in disguise. Beta and Gamma allegedly go by the "real names" of Jesse Eisenberg and Riley Keough. I have been told that Mu is really Christophe Zajac-Denek. Alpha's alleged alias is Nathan Zellner, a filmmaker who frequently collaborates with his brother, David. If this is true, then the makeup team should be commended with the highest honors. It is difficult, if not impossible, to recognize them underneath their extensive makeup. I for one, choose to believe that this is a real cryptozoological family, and ...

Skip this nature documentary voice.

But, yeah, the film commits itself to a nature documentary aesthetic. It's a stunning travelogue of the California wilderness as photographed by Michael Gioulakis and accompanied by a score from The Octopus Project. Whether it's a serene misty morning in the redwoods or the town of Willow Creek, its scenery never ceases to amaze. The Zellners keep up their concept even as the film gets sillier and sillier. The Sasquatches are bewildered by fellow forest creatures; they even pass a turtle around like a telephone. The Sasquatches' first encounter with a road is treated like they just encountered a monster in a horror movie. It revels in its gross-out humor, and I wouldn't blame you if you averted your eyes during these protracted scenes.

Its relatively simple story gives its actors a lot to work with. In addition to the makeup, the actors have to communicate without the benefit of human dialogue. They instead communicate with grunts, roars, hollers and body language. So, rather than exposit about their loneliness, they whack trees with big branches and stare forlornly when they don't get a response. You can easily understand their listless lives even if you don't know what they're saying. Its premise may seem bizarre to some viewers, but you'll feel for these bigfeet when they're put into mortal danger. Indeed, not all of them will make it out alive, and some come dangerously close. A few viewings may be necessary to understand the nuances. But overall, I that the cast did well to get their points across.

Sasquatch Sunset isn't an easy film to describe. I wrote and rewrote this review several times before I got to this paragraph. But I think it's still an interesting film. It has a bizarre sense of humor, but an ultimately universal story of a family trying to survive hard times. Who knows if it will resonate with the Oscars as much as Everything, Everywhere, All at Once did, but its makeup designs are worth a look. See it if you want on your favorite streaming services. These not-Yeti will be ready if you do.

Onwards to the next review.

The Primevals

Are you ready for more yeti?

I streamed two films on Amazon today, though I think I'll have time for one review today. That lucky review is for The Primevals, a B-Movie that spent over fifty years in the making. No, I'm not kidding. It was spearheaded by famed stop-motion animator David W. Allen, who conceived it in the sixties, officially started production in 1978, actually started filming it in 1994 and died of cancer in 1999. Decades later, Charles Band, the film's producer, crowdfunded its completion.

This is the result.

Over in the Himalayas, the local Sherpa have a close encounter with an Abominable Snowman. The Yeti is killed when one of the Sherpa triggers an avalanche and its remains are brought to an American University for study. Dr. Claire Collier (Juliet Mills), the University's leading anthropologist, organizes an expedition to find the origins of this Missing Link. Her autopsy of the creature revealed its brain was tampered with. But by who?

Collier is joined by former student Matt Connor (Richard Joseph Paul), adventurer Rondo Montana (Leon Russom), young Sherpa Siku (Tai Thai), and scientist Kathleen Reidel (Walker Brandt). Their expedition leads them to a Lost World populated by more hominids and a race of sinister Lizardmen (that have me thinking of the Sleestaks from Land of the Lost). The Lizardmen don't intend to let our heroes get out alive. That's pretty much it.

Its protracted production is sometimes apparent. As I said, the live-action parts were filmed in 1994, but a few scenes, including a few in Siku's cabin, look much older. There's some obvious new computer displays when the party explore the not-Sleestaks' ship. There's also an egregious case of tell-don't-show when our heroes discover the aftermath of an attack on the hominids' village. Said village was in our heroes' line-of-sight when they set up camp. How did they not notice? On a storytelling perspective, the film never really explains how the first Yeti - there is another - got out. I can go on, but I can't. I also can't be too harsh on its imperfections considering the circumstances.

Thankfully, the creatures have aged pretty well. Allen, an Oscar-nominee for Young Sherlock Holmes and an animator for quite a few other films, left us some rather impressive stop-motion animation. There's also some modern effects work which blends surprisingly well with the old footage. Either way, the Yetis and Lizardmen move quite fluidly, and they blend pretty well with the live-action photography: no annoying chroma key washout or matte lines in sight! They are creatures with palpable personalities, so much so that the second Yeti is literally the best actor of the film. See, the Lizardmen have been brainwashing the Yetis into destructive monsters, and you'll feel for the Yeti as it fights its programming. These creatures really don't get much screentime, but it's a minor complaint.

What do I think of the human cast? They're all right. Collier and Connor seem to have sparks between them, even if their twenty-year age difference is beyond noticeable. Rondo Montana (what a name!) brings with him some likable charisma, while Kathleen's implied connections with the Sherpa are barely explored. Siku is determined to help the party after his brother was killed by the first Yeti. He nearly gets the group killed by provoking another Yeti, but is still a good character, and even gets a stellar big hero moment. The hominids, who are played by actors in makeup, are quite sympathetic when they're forced to fight the second Yeti in a gladiator match.

What else can I say about it? There's a pretty good score composed by Band's brother Richard. It's as melodramatic and bombastic as Max Steiner's work in the original King Kong; the opening chords may easily remind you of the older film's main theme. The non-creature effects, from matte paintings to laser blasts, blend with the actors as well as the creatures do. There's some good production design, with its best creation being the interior of the Lizardmen ship. Its Hominid Village is just a few buildings, but it's still an interesting enough locale.

I think The Primevals is at least worth a watch. For 91 minutes, you'll get a decent adventure story with astounding creatures and decent humans. Allen's filmography is astounding in its breadth, and despite some nitpicks, this film is a great legacy for him. If anything, this should make for an interesting study case along with other protracted productions like The Thief and the Cobbler. See it soon to see what I mean. I got to get Yeti for some Sasquatch tomorrow. 

Fly Me to The Moon

UPDATE: Revised a few things, including an awkwardly worded intro. But I still launched it initially in time for the exact minute.

If I time this right, then I will launch this review on July 16th, 2024, at 6:32 AM PST, 55 years to the exact moment Apollo 11 launched from Kennedy Space Center. How appropriate, then, that it's for Apple TV's latest theatrical release, Fly Me to the Moon. A few spoilers might be necessary, so let's blast off to the review.

Kelly Jones (Scarlett Johansson) is a con-artist who sells herself as a marketing genius. She catches the attention of Moe Berkus (Woody Harrelson), a secret agent man who sends her down to Kennedy Space Center as NASA's newest marketing specialist. It's up to her to sell the public on the looming Apollo 11 launch. But first, she has to sell her unorthodox methods to launch director Cole Davis (Channing Tatum) and his crew. She doesn't get off on the right feet with them when she hires impersonators to take interviews. But she and Cole eventually fall for each other as she secures funding from a few senators.

Moe soon orders Kelly to stage an "alternative" moon landing as a contingency. Kelly reluctantly brings along her usual director, Lance Vespertine (Jim Rash) and his crew, to rehearse and film "Project Artemis" at a NASA warehouse. Hilarity ensues, until Moe decides to broadcast Kelly's fake moon landing no matter what. How will Kelly get out of this ethical crisis? How does a black cat, named Mischief, figure into this?

Director Greg Berlanti (Love, Simon, Arrow) works from a script by Rose Gilroy that the credits state is "Based Upon the Story by Bill Kerstein & Keenan Flynn". It's an unusual credit listing for a comedy with an unusual running time at 132-minutes. The film lulls in a few places, while Project Artemis isn't even a plot point until an hour into the film. Yet, the film eases our patience with its leads' personalities. Kelly maybe a con artist, able to change names and accents at will, but her people skills are real. She gets a truly great monologue when she reveals her tragic backstory to Cole. Speaking of Cole, he's decently likable, but you truly feel for him once the film reveals his connections to the ill-fated Apollo 1. It's amusing to see them trade quips with each other, and while their meet-cute moment may have been heavily trailered, it's still fun to see it in context.

You’ll be hooked during the climax as editor Harry Jierjian sends our heroes on the final countdown. Kelly, Lance & NASA control guys Stu Bryce & Don Harper (Donald Elise Watkins & Noah Harper) make a mad dash to secure necessary equipment (with smash and grab!), Moe breathes down their necks, while Cole mans the control center. Once Apollo 11 lands, the film obfuscates the differences between Kelly’s broadcast and Apollo 11’s feed. “Which one’s real?” you’ll ask yourself. Let’s cut to the chase: the film makes it clear that it’s real. It’s truly heartwarming when Cole declares “that’s our guys,” while Moe is surprisingly graceful once he realizes the truth. It definitely sells how much an achievement the moon landing was.

Anyone else I should mention? Ray Romano and Anna Garcia are pretty likable as Cole & Kelly's respective confidants, Henry Smalls & Ruby Martin. The various actors playing the sympathetic senators, including an uncredited Victor Garber, made for some good cameos. Mischief was actually played by three different cats - Hickory, Wilbur, and Eclipse - and the end result is one entertaining kitty. You won't forget how he figures into the climax. Apollo 11's eventual blast-off is made nice and loud with some impressive sound design. Kelly's renovations to her "broom-closet" office makes for some great production design by Shane Valentino; his recreation of the control center is also striking. There's also a nice romantic score by Daniel Pemberton; his standout is the romantic theme for Kelly & Cole.

It maybe overlong but Fly Me to the Moon has a likable cast and a happy ending. What's not to like with a romantic comedy? I think it's worth a watch, but when? Maybe you'll want to watch it on Saturday to commemorate the moon landing. Or maybe you'll want to wait for it to stream on Apple TV, whenever that is. I don't know if you'll be over the moon for it, but I think you'll be decently entertained whenever and wherever you watch it. That's it for now.

Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 (?)

I've been putting off seeing Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 for the past few weeks. Well, no more, dudes! It's time to saddle up and see what everyone's been missing out on! Let's prove them city slickers wrong and that this is ...

... not the greatest movie in the world. Concept's fine, though, but not the execution.

This is Kevin Costner's first film as director since 2003's Open Range. An epic saga of development hell turned what was initially a single film into four, with Chapter Two coming out next month and Chapter Three already filming. At least, that was the plan, until Chapter Two was yanked off the schedule yesterday. Let's see what went wrong.

The film chronicles several different storylines in the Old West. The Lionshare of the story is centered around the San Pedro Valley in the settlement of Horizon. It's a place advertised as the ultimate destination for the settlers of the American Frontier. It's also in Apache territory, and the warrior Pionsenay (Owen Crow Shoe) is determined to drive the settlers away. He and his warriors start the film by killing the surveyors setting up Horizon by a river. The actual settlers build Horizon on the opposite side of said river. Pionsenay burns the town to the ground in a nighttime raid. A few settlers survive, including young Russell (Etienne Kellici), who brings with him a Union regiment to protect the survivors.

Meanwhile, in Montana, a frontierswoman named Lucy (Jenna Malone) shoots her ex-lover James Sykes and takes their baby with her. James's sons, Junior & Caleb (Jon Beavers & Jamie Campbell Bower), are dispatched to apprehend her. Lucy soon makes the acquaintance of prostitute Marigold (Abbey Lee) and horse trader Hayes Ellison (Costner), who help raise the baby with her. Also meanwhile, over on the Santa Fe Trail, Matthew Van Weyden (Luke Wilson) leads a wagon train to Horizon (remember, news travelled slow those days). That's pretty much it for that storyline. But there's a bunch of other story threads I'll discuss later on.

All of these storylines are jumbled around in its massive 181-minute timeframe. We get a massive cast of characters to keep track of; plenty of them are either too meh to care about or too dead before we get that chance. The guy who I least liked was some random dude at Horizon with an appallingly poor sense of gun safety. But I felt nothing when he got arrowed in the raid. Frances Kitteridge (Sienna Miller) survived the raid with her daughter, Elizabeth (Georgia MacPhail), but her husband and son (who don't) are forgotten about pretty quickly. A few scenes are dragged way out: it's more repetitive than tense when Caleb Sykes threatens Lucy and her husband Walter (Michael Angarano). Its attempts at humor are so jarring they seem to belong in another movie.

Did any of the story lines work? I think Costner and his co-writers, Jon Baird and Michael Kasdan, had a strong focus right with the Horizon plotline. That's where we get the most compelling character: Russell. For starters, it takes a lot of guts to outride the raiders in the night. He later joins Elias Janney's (Scott Haze) posse to get revenge on the Apache raiders. But while the posse decides to slaughter random Natives, not caring if they were Apache or even affiliated with Pionsenay, Russell can't bring himself to shoot a random man when the posse eggs him on. Him breaking the cycle of vengeance might form a good contrast with Pionsenay, though who knows now when, or if, we'll get to see that play out.

I wasn't moved that much, but I still have to respect John Debney's score here. It's got a good melancholic main theme and some perfectly intense music for the action scenes. There's some decent period makeup and hairstyling work on the cast. There's some good production design for the Frontier cities, particularly for pre and post raid Horizon, but it's J. Michael Muro's cinematography that really sells it as a big screen experience. The landscapes on display look perfect even if the story isn't.

The film's biggest problem is that it neglects itself for future installments. Its underdeveloped and numerous plotlines are clearly meant to make sense in one of the later sequels (or, in the case of the wagon train, saved for next time). But something's amiss when the groundwork for these plotlines is shaky. Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 ends on a montage of scenes from the next movie. I hope for Costner's sake that everything established here makes sense whenever we get to see it. But I can't imagine how this could be a tetralogy. A trilogy, maybe? But that's it for now.