Anora

 I previously said that The Substance was the sensation of this year's Cannes Film Festival. Although it received a standing ovation lasting thirteen-minutes at most, it did not win the prestigious Palme d'Or award. Sean Baker's Anora did. Let's finally meet her.

Anora "Ani" Mikheeva (Mikey Madison) is an exotic dancer and escort at a Manhattan night club. One night, her boss introduces her to Ivan Zakharov (Mark Eidelstein), the spoiled son of a Russian oligarch. Ivan, aka "Vanya," soon offers her $15,000 to be his girlfriend for the week. That special week involves a Vegas Vacation, complete with a quickie wedding!  

Unfortunately, Vanya's parents don't take the wedding well and decide to fly over to force an annulment. In the meantime, Vanya's godfather Toros (Karren Karagulian) and his goons, Igor (Yura Borisov) and Garnick (Vache Tovmasyan), are dispatched to detain the couple. But Vanya runs out, so Ani and the guys drive around Manhattan looking for him. It's not that easy. 

It may sound like a quick film, but at 139-minutes, it’s actually the opposite. An extensive scene involves Toros and his goons invading Ani and Vanya's mansion, which gradually goes from nightmarish to farcical. She panics, not helped by Vanya fleeing earlier, and fights off the goons, trashing the living room in the process. Toros can only watch in disbelief as the situation spirals out of control. After the even lengthier drive through Manhattan, they strongarm a judge into a quickie annulment hearing only - surprise! - they're in the wrong state! And they get a ticket! It's a lengthy second act, but it's still pretty funny.

You won't forget Ani once it's all done. She only gets a few scenes, at most, in her humble Brighton Beach house, which she shares with her sister. One can sense that her desire for more helped attract her to Vanya. It also helps that Vanya's nice guy act is convincing enough you'll want their marriage to succeed. She, especially, wants her marriage to succeed. But you'll understand Toros's protestations once Vanya's manchild behavior becomes impossible to ignore. The third act brutally cuts down her Cinderella Dream, but at least she gets some brutal parting words for her temporary mother-in-law, the icy Galina Zakharova (Darya Ekamasova), which even amuses temporary father-in-law Nikolai (Aleksei Serebryakov). You'll especially feel for her during her last scene, which leaves her an uncertain future.

Now for the villains, for lack of a better word. One of their worst acts is Igor trashing a candy store on Toros's orders, but that is punctuated by the owner's bewildered reaction. They're pretty much sympathetic punch-clock villains who are just trying to clean-up Vanya's messes. Toros shows some sympathy for Ani's predicament, even if he later disregards her as a gold-digger. Garnick ought to be the more threatening goon, but he gets beaten around too much to be a threat. You'll even feel sorry for him when he gets carsick! Igor, however, spends most of the movie building a rapport with Ani. When it's all done, you'll feel that they were the better match all along. 

The cinematography by Drew Daniels is splendid, complemented by the equally impressive production design of Stephen Phelps. These aspects go great together in Las Vegas, which the poster showcases, and are quite spectacular when we see Ani and Vanya's private suite. In New York, we get to see Ani and Vanya's mansion, a spectacular house which is owned in real life by oligarch Vasily Anisimov. Its less glamorous locations are still impressive, while a blizzard accentuates the melancholic finale rather well. There's a score by Joseph Capalbo, but some of the most significant scenes lack score of any kind. 

I don't know if Anora will win Best Picture at the Oscars, as some critics are saying. It's a bit long, and it puts the bitter in bittersweet. But it's still a good movie about a woman standing up for herself in a dismissive world. It helps having some great comic relief with its alleged villains. There's quite a bit I'm leaving out of this review, and I'll leave it to you to see them when you meet Anora at your nearest theatre. That's it for now.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Now this is a holiday surprise.

I didn't go plan to review The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, the film version of Barbara Robinson's 1972 novel, when the year began. But the trailer looked funny, and so I went, further incentivized by a free ticket I got after my disastrous first attempt to see Piece by Piece. It was as funny as advertised, but it was also a bit more. Let's see what I mean.

The town of Emmanuel prides itself in its annual Christmas Pageant, which is about to celebrate its 75th iteration. Mrs. Armstrong (Mariam Bernstein), the Pageant's long-time director, prides herself in keeping it exactly the same during her whole tenure. When Mrs. Armstrong breaks her legs, Grace Bradley (Judy Greer) steps up to take her place. Grace, who isn't exactly popular with the town's snobby moms, sets out to deliver The Best Christmas Pageant Ever with Mrs. Armstrong's rigid specifications. But then a spanner is thrown into the works. 

Six of them, to be exact.

The Herdmans, the town hellions, barge into church expecting free food. They strongarm their way through the casting process, with eldest siblings Imogene & Ralph (Beatrice Schneider & Mason D. Nelligan) as Mary & Joseph, brothers Claude, Leroy & Ollie (Matthew Lamb, Ewan Wood & Esek Moore) as the Wise Men, and sister Gladys (Kynlee Heiman) as the Angel of the Lord. Nobody wants them around, but nobody also wants to tell them off, either. Surprisingly, the Herdmans, whose antics earned them the monicker "The Worst Kids in the World," become invested in the Christmas Story. Maybe the pageant will work, after all.

It's quite easy to dislike the Herdmans for their often-criminal misdeeds, including arson and keeping dangerous animals. They ironically did good by burning down their neighbor's unwanted toolshed. As the narrator (Lauren Graham) tells us, they wouldn't have done it if they knew it was a good thing. As they spend the movie poking holes into the Nativity Story, you'll often agree with their criticisms of the story's harshest aspects. In fact, their outrage towards King Herod's impunity lets us know they aren't that bad. They're also quite grateful when Mr. Bradley (Pete Holmes) donates them a Christmas Ham. The film considers it miraculous when its epilogue states that only one of the Herdmans spent time in prison.

Imogene, the ringleader, has the best character development of her siblings. She earns her fearsome reputation when she threatens the young narrator - Grace's daughter, Beth (Molly Bella-Wright) - over her necklace. She's quite aware of her reputation, but as we learn, she doesn't know how to be anything else but that. Her parents are practically non-existent, which is perhaps why she and her siblings identify with Mary & Joseph's difficult situation.  It might have been amusing to see the Herdmans turn the pageant into a light-hearted parody, but it's quite impactful when they take their parts seriously. Gladys, the youngest and loudest of her siblings, actually proves a good choice for the Angel of the Lord. Imogene fully earns her redemption when she hands back the necklace at the end.

There's a good ensemble surrounding the Herdmans. The snobbish adults, including Mrs. Armstrong and Mrs. Wendelken (Danielle Hoetmer) are too funny to be detestable. In fact, it's quite humorous to see them treat the same-old pageant as serious business. The kids, particularly Beth's brother Charlie (Sebastian Billingsley-Rodriguez) and Alice Wendelken (Lorelei Olivia Mote), are as funny as the adults. Charlie, in particular, instigates the plot by lying about the free food. Alice, the town's constant Mary, is nearly cast when it seems the Herdmans will quit; she's almost pitiable when she instead sulks on-stage as an angel. The adult Beth gets the best lines, while young Beth and her parents are quite likable. Mrs. Armstrong quotes Stanislavski's "there are no small parts" philosophy, which the film clearly believes. Everyone did fine here.

In the wrong hands, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever could have been a holier-than-thou mess. But director Dallas Jenkins (The Chosen) and his screenwriters have instead created an outrageously funny, and sincerely heartwarming, family film. It's a film that shows that just about everyone, even "the worst kids in the world," has a chance at happiness. It's hard not to feel something when the pageant audience break out the candles and sing Silent Night. The novel actually has two sequels, The Best Halloween Ever and The Best School Year Ever, but this entry ends well-enough on its own. See it soon before all the big films crowd it out. You won't regret it.

Overlord: The Sacred Kingdom

The word of the day is Isekai.

In Japanese, it means "Another World," and it also refers to a media genre where characters find themselves transported to those other worlds. Yes, that would include The Wizard of Oz. Yes, that would include numerous novel and anime franchises that rose to popularity in the last decade. Yes, I actually reviewed a few of those franchises' movies already. And yes, here is another.

Overlord: The Sacred Kingdom actually takes place during the anime's fourth season, which aired a few years ago. A text crawl spins us the tale of Satoru Suzuki, who finds himself the last player standing in the MMORPG YGGDRASSIL when its servers shut down for good. When they finally shut down, Satoru finds himself in the game as his avatar, the skull-headed "Sorcerer King" Momonga. He takes the name of his old guild, Ainz Ooal Gown, and sets out to conquer the game world as a sort of benevolent dictator. 

This time, Ainz is visited by the Paladins of the neighboring Sacred Kingdom, which has been conquered by the evil Jaldabaoth and his army of monsters. The Paladins request Momon, Ainz's strongest warrior, to fight Jaldabaoth, but Ainz decides to join them instead. Of course, it turns out the entire siege on the Sacred Kingdom is part of Ainz's "benevolent" conquest. But neither Neia Baraja, the squire enthralled with Ainz, nor Remedios Custodio, the skeptical veteran Paladin, find out about it. Oh well, maybe next time.

Those already familiar with Kugane Maruyama's lore will get the most mileage here. Those who haven't will have a lot to deal with during the course of 135-minutes. Barely anyone in Ainz's entourage, barring Jaldabaoth, better known as Demiurge, and the sniper-maid CZ, who becomes Neia's best friend, get much character time. A few pivotal scenes, such as Neia talking out of turn in Ainz's presence, happen off-screen. It's quite easy to mentally checkout during a few exposition scenes. Its biggest hindrance, however, is something that I will highlight below.

It's kind of hard to care about the plot once Ainz's machinations are revealed. Sure, the opening crawl may have hinted at Ainz's campaigning, but we believe his benevolence when the Paladins meet him. There are a few characters who show up just to die during the opening siege. But we care about them enough that we want Ainz to deal unholy vengeance on Jaldabaoth. That pivotal flashback reminds us that he is the villain of his own story, and those victims are just pawns to him. Remedios was right to distrust him, even if that distrust is somewhat overboard. It's perhaps comforting, then, that several other villains in the series are not only unaffiliated with him but are much worse.

It's also comforting that Ainz is an easily flustered dork. Surprising, but true. He's quite awkward around Neia, which leaves his stationary mouth agape, and we briefly hear Satoru's thoughts in an inner monologue. Those humanizing scenes make that pivotal flashback harder to swallow. We get a nice friendship between Neia and CZ; individually, Neia is a decent viewpoint character, while CZ's monotone personality is instantly endearing. There's a surprisingly hilarious scene where a horrific monster general stops the fight to gush over Neia's new bow, a gift from Ainz himself. The end of that fight leads to a surprising punchline.

What else can I recommend about it? The animation is quite impressive, especially in the fight scenes, although some conclude rather abruptly. You'll feel it when things get gruesome, particularly with the fate of the Sacred Kingdom's Princess. There are some great monster designs, especially with Jaldabaoth's alleged monster form and the aforementioned general. Those who don't care for the gruesomeness will find the scenery pretty enjoyable. The production design is stelar, while what we see of the magic system - such as a microphone crystal - is nifty. The score by Shuji Katayama is fine; it fits with the dark gothic aesthetics, but it isn't too memorable. The overall sound presentation is wonderful, particularly with its impactful magic spells and immersive crowd scenes.

Ainz's machinations will make a lot of sense if you've watched the series beforehand. I was barely familiar with the series, but his ultimate scheme was a lot to take in as I watched the movie. Now, with more context, they make some dark sense. In a way, it's a good case study on how good people are swayed by obviously evil individuals. That's what Neia's story arc is all about. If it gets you curious on her later role in the story, then its thesis has done its job. It's quite relevant, that's for sure.

Here

Do you want to go there for Here? 

I admit that joke is pretty clunky. But this film, which Robert Zemeckis and Eric Roth adapted from Richard McGuire's comic strip, and eventual graphic novel, is easy to describe. Let me prove it Here.

So, the gimmick Here is that we see time go by at a fixed vantage point. We see time progress - or regress - within pop-up comic book panels which are soon joined by the rest of the scene. At one point, we see a character in one panel fade-in to join a conversation already in progress. It's surprisingly good how these disconnected events blend together, especially when we see beyond the living room where most of the movie is set. 

What do we have Here? During the movie, we see the dinosaurs go extinct and the Ice Age, a Native American couple living their lives, and the estate of Benjamin Franklin's son, William (Daniel Betts). The main house is first owned by John & Pauline Harter (Gwilym Lee & Michelle Dockery), and then by Leo Beekman (David Fynn), the inventor of the La-Z Boy chair. For most of the movie, it is owned by two generations of the Young family, beginning with WWII vet Al (Paul Bettany) and his wife, Rose (Kelly Reilly). 

Their son, Richard (Tom Hanks), stays Here when his high-school sweetheart, Margaret (Robin Wright), gets pregnant. He's forced to give up his artistic dreams and follow Al as an insurance salesman. He promises Margaret a new house, even drawing up sketches and blueprints, but his financial worries squash those promises. This eventually drives them apart. Eventually.

Besides the pop-up panels, the film looks pretty good, overall. Hanks and Wright are aged throughout the film by a surprisingly convincing digital makeup job. It ought to be distracting, especially since the high-school aged Richard and Margaret don't look like high-schoolers. But it took me a short bit to see them as people, rather than visual effects. The same treatment might have been done to Bettany and Reilly, but that hasn't been publicized as much as the leads' digital makeup. The actual makeup used to age the stars past their actual ages is also well done. All the living room's arrangements, as visualized by production designer Ashley Lamont, are also appealing. 

Who do we have Here? Leo and his wife, Stella (Ophelia Lovibond), are quite fun to watch. By contrast, Al was initially hard to like due to his irritability; he even gets annoyed at his granddaughter at one point. It's still kind of funny when he can't comprehend how to work a camera beyond its plug. Thankfully, he mellows out with age and is quite sympathetic when he is eventually widowed. It's quite easy to sympathize with Richard and Margaret's troubles as they gradually grow apart. Before them, the Harters have their own issues, thanks to John's flyboy attitude, but his death - by the flu - is still tragic. 

I'll devote this paragraph to a few other names. The Native American couple (Joel Oulette & Dannie McCallum) live their lives without subtitles, but it's still easy to get invested in them. After the Youngs comes the Harris family - Devon, Helen and their son Justin (Nicholas Pinnock, Nikki Amuka-Bird & Cache Vanderpuye). They're pretty good people, but their housekeeper, Raquel (Anya Marco Harris), is barely there before she dies off-screen. Ted & Virginia (Tony Way & Jemima Rooper) get less screentime before he has a fatal heart attack in the living room. At least he dies laughing at a very funny morbid joke. Richard's siblings, meanwhile, are completely lost in the shuffle. 

It's a movie that will make you think about the course of your own life. As such, it can get emotionally overwhelming as you see all the stuff that happens Here. It's hard to keep it together when Alan Silvestri's melodramatic score accentuates the deaths, medical & marriage crises, births, and more. It's especially strong in the ending, where cinematographer Don Burgess finally lets the camera move. I'll leave it to you to see the circumstances of that ending for yourself. I won't blame you if you seek something lighter immediately after you watch it. I wonder if the graphic novel is any less overwhelming. 

Hellboy: The Crooked Man

Let's begin the month with Hellboy: The Crooked Man, the latest movie starring Mike Mignola's signature superhero. I fully intended to get this review out on Halloween, when it was thematically appropriate to do so. But a circuit breaker tripped at an unfortunate time, and by the time it was fixed, there wasn't time to do much else. Let's get to it now.

It's 1959. This time, Hellboy (now played by Jack Kesy) and his latest partner with the B.P.R.D., Bobbie Jo Song (Adeline Rudolph), are escorting a dangerous demonic spider by railway. When they reach the Appalachians, something wakes up the sedated spider, and in the ensuing struggle, our heroes are literally derailed. Surprisingly, the locals are welcoming to the literal hell spawn in their midst. Maybe it's because they have bigger supernatural problems to deal with.

Those problems mostly come from The Crooked Man (Martin Bassindale), an undead war profiteer from the Revolutionary War who now collects souls for the Devil. Tom Ferrell (Jefferson White), a local boy, was nearly led to The Crooked Man by the bad witch Effie Kolb (Leah McNamara), but he escaped. Our heroes meet him when he returns home to face his sins. What begins as a diversion ends personally for Hellboy when The Crooked Man taunts him with visions of his mother, another witch. 

Mignola, along with Christopher Golden and director Brian Taylor, adapted a three-issue story arc into the screenplay. It wastes little time as we immediately get the title card as soon as we get the movie proper. It then spends a lot of time building up atmosphere in the Appalachian woods, which were actually filmed in Bulgaria. Fortunately, cinematographer Ivan Vatsov shows us some fantastic scenery in those woods. It's not as excessively gruesome as the last Hellboy, but unlike that film, its gruesomeness rarely loses its luster. Its only real problem is that a few set pieces near the end are hard to follow, both in terms of their storyline and their editing.

Let's get to the villains. The Crooked Man, in his last moments, taunts Hellboy as a demon trying to be a man. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! His demonic appearance, visualized with excellent makeup work, magnifies the malice in his every word. His hateful demeanor is further exemplified with a few creepy flashbacks. It's utterly cathartic when Hellboy finally blasts him in the end. Effie, meanwhile, is similarly over-the-top as she relishes her own evil. Her final fate, however, may seem a bit confusing at first.

This Hellboy is noticeably more subdued than his big lug forerunners. Nevertheless, his brand of sarcastic humor is still entertaining, while his self-loathing makes him pretty sympathetic. It's quite refreshing to see him tolerated by the Appalachians, while previous films kept him hidden from view. Bobbie Jo, a new character created for the film, spends the film learning magic, which makes for a mostly good character arc. Tom is fine, though he gets his best moment when he helps Hellboy defeat The Crooked Man. Cora Fisher (Hannah Margetson), another witch whom Tom once dated, is pretty decent, but she gets taken out early. The best supporting hero is Rev. Watts (Joseph Marcell), a blind preacher with some funny one-liners. It's quite compelling to see him resist The Crooked Man's temptation.

Overall, the other technicals are decent. The sound effects are perfectly disturbing, especially when they accentuate The Crooked Man's signature head-tilting. The demonic snake that kills Cora, as well as her death scene in general, are especially disturbing. The train crash and demonic spider are visualized with blatantly obvious CGI. The nightmare dimension where Hellboy meets his mother, Sarah (Carola Columbo), is visualized much better. The Crooked Man has a particularly creative death, but I won't spoil it here. What I will spoil is the opening, which hilariously juxtaposes an oldie with the spider's escape. The soundtrack is further complemented by Sven Faulconer's moody score.

It sometimes feels longer than 99-minutes, but it is certainly better than the last film. If you're looking for a spooktacular home matinee, then Hellboy: The Crooked Man is there and affordable. This isn't elaborate as the earlier films, not surprising since this cost $20 million, but it's got some creative scares for you. You can also find something else, too, but few films have a character this iconic. I think that this version of Hellboy stands just fine with his predecessors. See it soon if you want to disagree with me. It's time to get on with this month.

Venom: The Last Dance

 Ready or not, here comes Venom!

Venom: The Last Dance promotes Kelly Marcel, the previous films' consistent screenwriter, to the director's chair, while Andy Serkis, who directed the last film, is now this film's surprisingly dull Big Bad. What do I mean by that?

Well, Serkis is Knull, the Alien God who created the Symbiote race, whom they trapped in an alternate dimension. He needs the Codex, a MacGuffin held by a certain Symbiote to get himself free. Venom, and his human host, Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy), have the Codex, so Knull dispatches his army of monstrous Xenophages after him. Meanwhile, Knull sits ominously on his throne, waiting for a chance to fight that never happens in this movie. He's basically a MacGuffin villain looking for an actual MacGuffin; replace him with someone else as the Symbiotes' creator, and you'll barely change much.

The Xenophages compensate for their master's lack of presence with their intimidating design and remarkable durability. They're not only difficult to kill, but even if you kill one of them, it will pull itself together. It's pretty tense when the first Xenophage debuts that ability when it fights Venom and the military squad pursuing him. Throw in a whole army of Xenophages, along with their rapid eating prowess, and that tension is magnified several times over. The visual effects work on them was exquisite all the way. They're finally defeated in an ingenious manner, but that would spoil why this film is called The Last Dance.

So, what is this movie actually about? This time, Eddie and Venom are on the run after they're accused of murdering Det. Mulligan (Stephen Graham) in the last movie, who was actually saved by another Symbiote. They hitch a plane to New York to lie low, but the first Xenophage shows up and attacks. Stranded in a desert, they hitch a ride with the Moon family, who are off to see aliens at the soon-to-be-decommissioned Area 51. General Rex Strickland (Chiwetel Ejiofor) of Area 51 hunts for Eddie & Venom, and finally gets a lead when the Moons drop our heroes off at Vegas. Strickland and the Moons are about to get more than they bargained for, that's for sure.

Its best part is its singular double-act. It’s entertaining to see Hardy argue with himself as both Eddie and Venom, as well as to see Eddie acting under Venom’s influence. Venom maybe the “Lethal Protector,” which he asserts when he and Eddie bust a dog-fighting ring, but he’s a big goof. His dance with series mainstay Mrs. Chen (Peggy Lu) in Vegas is beyond endearing. He and Eddie have great symbiosis, and even if you haven't seen the previous movies, it's hard not to feel something at the ending.

At a close second is the final battle. When the Xenophage army storms Area 51, a few personnel bond with the nearby symbiotes and become Lethal Protectors as well. It's delightfully goofy as two symbiote-pairs merge into one Mega Symbiote, one symbiote-pair becomes a magma monster, and another becomes a sort of rock monster (were those last two meant to be The Human Torch and The Thing?). They may be obvious CGI monsters, but it's still entertaining to see them fight like The Avengers. It's disappointing that nearly all of them get shredded by Xenophages, except for head scientist Dr. Payne and her best friend, Sadie Christmas (Clark Backo). At least those two are likable.

If Venom: The Last Dance segways into an MCU movie, then perhaps Knull can make good on his "I'll get you next time" threat in the mid-credits. But like so many films, this neglects its own plot to focus on potential movies. However, its goofiness and superheroic action help save the film from tedium. It's also helped by a good supporting cast, whether they be newcomers or old favorites. I've seen worse superhero films, and this Last Dance makes for a good matinee any day. Here's hoping Kraven the Hunter will be worth its long delay when it finally ends in a few months. I'll be waiting for it.

'Salem's Lot

Let's begin this Halloween stretch with a review I waited over two years to do.

That would be 'Salem's Lot, the first ever film version of Stephen King's sophomore novel, following the two miniseries from 1979 and 2004. This was completed a few years ago, but Warner Brothers sat on it for several reasons, before they finally let it out on (HBO)Max earlier this month. It at least gives me a reason to watch the streaming service, other than the occasional old film. Let's finally see how it is.

Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman) is a somewhat famous novelist who returns to his hometown of Jerusalem’s Lot to research his next book. He falls for Susan Norton (Makenzie Leigh), one of the few locals who likes him, while he directs his attention to a local spooky mansion. The mansion is now owned by Richard Straker (Pilou Asbæk), an antiques dealer whose business partner is the barely seen Kurt Barlow. Nothing to worry about, right?

Barlow (Alexander Ward) is actually a vampire, who plots to induct the entirety of ‘Salem’s Lot into his ranks. He and Straker get the ball rolling when they abduct local boy Ralph Glick (Cade Woodward) and induct his brother, Danny (Nicholas Crovetti). A few residents, young Mark Petrie (Jordan Preston Carter) and his teacher, Mr. Burke (Bill Camp), quickly realize what’s happening, and go vampire hunting. Ben and Susan are brought along the hunt with the skeptical Dr. Cody (Alfre Woodard) and the troubled Father Callahan (John Benjamin Hickey). It’s up to them to stop Barlow and his Coven from spreading beyond The Lot’s city limits.

Gary Dauberman, writer of both IT movies, writes and directs this film as well. He starts off rather well as we see two moving guys haul in Barlow's coffin into his cellar. At one point, the taillights of the moving truck illuminate the cellar in red, which perfectly symbolizes the impending doom. The oncoming vampire apocalypse makes its later scenes of smalltown life a bit eerie to watch. So, what's the problem? 

It's the pacing. It takes quite a while before the Glick brothers are attacked, then a while longer before Danny inducts gravedigger Mike (Spencer Treat Clark). The rest of the town's induction mostly happens off-screen, with a few admittedly eerie montages showing the emptying town. We don't get time to know a lot of these characters, particularly Floyd Tibbits (Kellan Rhude), Susan's ex, before they become vampires or plain dead. A character we do know is Sheriff Gillespire (William Sadler), who admits in his first scene that he doesn't like to work, and who tries to get out of dodge when things go south. "He wasn't much help," Cody says when his corpse crashes through a church window. 

Let's get to the vampire hunters. Ben and Susan share good chemistry, with a highlight being the scene where they and Dr. Cody scramble to improvise a cross to ward off the Glicks' vampirized mom. Individually, they're mostly adequate people, which I blame a bit on the pacing. Dr. Cody's arc from skeptic to believer is quite compelling, as is Father Callahan's struggle with his own crisis of faith. Mr. Burke spends so long with the clearly vampirized Mike that one will think he's next, which makes it impressive when he goes vampire hunting the second it clicks. Unfortunately, he does get vampirized later on, but at least you can't accuse him of holding the idiot ball. The MVP is Mark, who is so astoundingly genre savvy that he puts together his own hunting plan immediately after he wards off Vampire Danny. It's extremely cathartic when he dispatches not only Straker, but most of the town.

These vampire hunters deal with some formidable villains. Barlow has very little screentime, but when he does appear, you'll believe it's bad news. Whether it's him hypnotizing someone from off-camera or looming over the Drive-In where the final battle takes place, Barlow asserts himself as The Dreaded. He's monstrous in every sense of the word, while Straker, his Renfield, is disturbing in how casually evil he is. That even goes away when he abducts Ralph; what makes that scene creepier is that the Glicks and Straker are all rendered in silhouettes. That we barely know the human townsfolks doesn't make it less creepy when the vampirized townsfolks converge on Ben. If I haven't made it clear, the villains benefit greatly from Michael Burgess's cinematography a lot.

The technical work is pretty good, too. When vampires near, not only do crosses glow, but they literally blow the Nosferatu away! The latter part is a bit over-the-top, but cool, as are the Vampires flying away in smoke. The Vampire designs are perfectly eerie, and I sometimes can't tell if it was done mostly with makeup or CGI. Obviously, the glowing eyes are CGI, as are the blank eyes of the hypnotized humans, and both effects are well done. There is some great editing by Luke Ciarrocchi, and an unforgettable score by Nathan Barr & Lisbeth Scott. The only real technical misstep is the credit sequence, as the red text is sometimes illegible with the montage.

I've seen quite a few reviews wondering why this wasn't a miniseries. I can imagine part of the reason why is that it's been done, twice. If you're in the mood to watch 'Salem's Lot on a time budget, then this version will do nicely. It's got plenty of jump scares, humor, and across its 113 minutes, over an hour shorter than either miniseries. It's a shame about the pacing, though. But at least the 1979 miniseries is on (HBO)Max if you want the time commitment. I don't have the time commitment, myself, as I've got quite a few reviews to finish for this month. The first one starts in over an hour, so Tick Tock. That's it for now.

Conclave

 The Pope is dead. It’s time to find a new one.

That sums up Conclave, both the Robert Harris novel and Edward Berger’s film adaptation of that novel. But there’s actually quite a bit more to it, in case you want to know more. Let me tell you about it.

When the unnamed Pope (Bruno Novelli) dies in his sleep, the College of Cardinals, led by Cardinal-Dean Thomas Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes), assembles at the Vatican to conduct the Papal Conclave. By tradition, the Cardinals are sequestered until they elect the next Pope. Neither Lawrence, nor his friend, Bellini (Stanley Tucci), want the job, but they have supporters. They’ll keep voting for as long as they have to.

Meanwhile, Trembley (John Lithgow), Adeyemi (Lucian Msamanti), and Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto), prove pretty popular amongst their fellow Cardinals. While Tedesco wants to bring back the days of fire-and-brimstone, the other two have secrets that come out during the proceedings. The Vatican is even rocked by terrorist attacks! And then there’s the wild Cardinal, Benitez (Carlos Diehz), secretly ordained by the late Pope, who shows up at the last minute. This is going to be one eventful Conclave.

The Cardinals' political infighting is captivating to watch. Bellini, in particular, is only slightly interested in the papacy to keep Tedesco and Adeyemi from getting it. He thinks every Cardinal already has his Papal name picked out, and spurs Lawrence to get with it when he shows reluctance. Adeyemi is extremely homophobic but is quite pitiful when his own secret reduces him into a quivering mess. Stéphane Fontaine's cinematography is striking throughout the film, but one of his most memorable shots shows Adeyemi as his votes crater in one session. Tedesco is such the bombastic firebrand that Trembley's potential papacy might seem better. But Trembley, despite his casualness, turns out to be the most morally repellent of the bunch. 

In his backstory, Lawrence tried to resign as Cardinal-Dean over a crisis of faith until His Late Holiness convinced him otherwise. He still deals with his faith throughout the film, and he wears his reluctance on his face as he looks down on his fellow Cardinals early on. Despite this, he still investigates his fellow Cardinals' secrets, and his stern compassion proves the Dead Pope - as he is credited - right in keeping him on. Dead Pope barely shows up in flashbacks, and he even doesn't talk, but you'll feel it when Lawrence quietly mourns him during his investigation.

Diehz, in his first movie, is quite likable as Benitez, whose major secret is divulged in the last few minutes. That's not enough time to process it, but if it is any consolation, it is slightly hinted at throughout the film. The only other characters with any significance are nuns Sister Agnes (Isabella Rossellini) and Sister Shanumi (Balkissa Maiga), both of whom figure into Adeyemi and Trembley's secrets. The other Cardinals are fine, but they don't figure much into the plot.

Although I was alone at my screening, I was fooled into thinking the chatter on-screen was chatter a few rows away. The sound design by Ben Baird is just that impressive. Thanks to him, you can hear the rigor mortis as the Pope's men pry his ring from his cold dead hands. He later puts you on edge when the first bombings shake the Sistine Chapel, and aurally punches you with the actual attack on the Chapel. I was still tense even though I knew what was coming. I think we have a genuine Oscar-contender on this front. They should also consider Fontaine, along with production designer Suzie Davies, whose visually striking recreations of the Vatican feel like the genuine article. 

All of the intrigue between the Cardinals of Conclave puts modern politics into perspective. I'm sure you'll be reminded of certain events as the Cardinals hold vote after vote. It's quite captivating to see the process play out, even if it's supposed to be a speculative tale. What we see are the Cardinals made personable, for the most part, the kind you'd want to casually talk to. Its established cast all add more great roles to their resumes, while Diehz has a great breakout role. There are plenty of surprising secrets in Conclave, and unlike the actual process, the doors are open for you. I think it's an invite worth taking.

Gridman: Universe

 I think I have a contender for this year’s October surprise.

Gridman Universe premiered in Japanese theatres in March of last year, and was finally made legally available, via Crunchyroll, just a few days ago after only a few days' notice. If that’s not surprising, I don’t know what is. At least it’s a welcome surprise.

Anyway, this is the sequel crossover film of Studio Trigger’s anime duology, SSSS.Gridman and SSSS.Dynazenon, both of which update Tsuburaya’s cult classic superhero show, Gridman the Hyper Agent, which was adapted, Power Rangers-style, into the also cult classical Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad. That sounds like a lot to take in, but it's a bit easy to summarize if I phrase it right.

Yuta Hibiki, the former human host of the Kaiju-fighting Gridman, now fights butterflies as he tries to ask out his classmate, Rikka Takarada. He’s soon forced to join with Gridman again when a new Kaiju shows up. The Kaiju overwhelms him until his support crew - who can become basically auxiliary zords for Gridman - show up with the cast of SSSS.Dynazenon. It turns out something’s merging their worlds together, and they have to figure out what it is. In the meantime, the casts hang out, and even help Rikka write a stage play for the upcoming school festival. I think that’s it.

As a sequel movie, you’ll get the most mileage if you’ve already watched both shows, or are even a bit familiar with the stories thus far. You’ll just have to accept a few things at face value if you haven’t. The recaps of both shows are even rendered as old TV footage, which is an interesting touch. The plot sometimes gets a bit confusing, particularly when an alternate of a certain character shows up to decimate the Gridman and Dynazenon teams, and quickly appears as an ally. Sure, we get an explanation later, but the dynamic entry is confounding. The mastermind of the “Big Crunch,” as the film describes the multiversal convergence, a Kaiju named Mad Origin, is just an average villain.

However, there’s a particularly moving scene for those who haven’t see SSSS.Dynazenon. That is when Gauma, a 5,000-year-old mummy and one of the titular robot’s pilots, is reunited with his beloved Princess, who is now a crab-monger. You can feel his happiness when they meet, and their talk of “promises, love and best-by dates” is pretty endearing. The two of them actually originated from the live-action show, but their scene here is one that doesn’t require any prior watching. I was bemused that the subtitles have him call her “Princess Hime,” or “Princess Princess.” But other than that, the scene is just that good.

The story focuses more on the characters hanging out than big battles. We get some decent character moments as we wait for these battles, all three of them. It's fun to see the cast iron-out that play, whether the Gridman team are alone or with the Dynazenon team. Those who haven't seen either anime will warm up to Gauma when he goes from tough guy to big lug. Yomogi Asanaka, SSSS.Dynazenon's main character, gets along quite nicely with Yuta, whether it involves consoling Yuta about his lost memories or playing wingman for Yuta. A minor speedbump for Yuta - an apparent boyfriend for Rikka that turns out to be her brother - is resolved pretty well. A few supporting highlights are Bor, one of the auxiliary zord characters; Rikka's laid-back mom Orie; and even the former co-villains of SSSS.Gridman, Akane Shinjo and Alexis Kerib, who show up to save the day.

All three big battles exemplify the word bombastic. Dynamic cinematography effectively sells us on the magnitude and scope of each battle, especially when we see the first fight from directly beneath. The CGI animation used for the giants blends pretty well with the more traditional animation of the human characters. The final battle is a little over twenty-minutes of delightful craziness as Gridman and Dynazenon take on Mad Origin and his Kaiju hoard. The way they defeat Mad Origin is pretty nifty, to say the least. All of them are accentuated by a great score by Shiro Sagisu, with the highlight being Gridman's heroic march. It also gets pretty spooky when apparent ghosts get involved in the plot. You'll just have to see who they are.

I don't know why Crunchyroll didn't license Gridman Universe for a theatrical release. You're reading the review of someone who would have gone right away if they did. In any case, that it was streaming at all was why I finally reactivated my Crunchyroll account. Its blend of bombastic action and fun character chemistry is a good reminder I should have checked out the duology years ago. But better late than never, I guess, and those late like me will find Gridman Universe a pretty good anime superhero film. Its villain could have been more interesting, but it's still an entertaining use of almost two-hours. Access Flash onto Crunchyroll if you want to see what I mean. That's it for now.

Blue Lock: Episode Nagi

 I finally reactivated my Crunchyroll account a few days ago. Sure, I could still watch its selection of anime shows and movies with my free account, but it was whatever they decided I could watch whenever they felt like it. Well, everything’s available, and I now have a new avenue for reviewable movies.

Let’s begin with Blue Lock: Episode Nagi, a film you might recall I would have seen back in June had the movie theatre hadn’t played hopscotch with the schedule. This is the film version of a spinoff of Muneyuki Kaneshiro’s soccer manga, albeit illustrated by Kouta Sannomiya instead of the series’ regular illustrator, Yusuke Nomura. It’s finally time for kickoff.

Seishiro Nagi would rather play video games all day than do practically anything. One day, he meets his classmate, Reo Mikage, a rich kid who wants to get into soccer to alleviate his lonely life. He ropes Nagi into his impromptu soccer team in an exhibition match set up by Mikage’s dad. Their mad skills get them scouted by Blue Lock, a spartan training facility which aims to find Japan’s next great striker. Those that fail will be banned from professional soccer. No pressure, right?

Nagi and Mikage find themselves among Blue Lock’s three-hundred hopefuls, all of whom live for soccer. Nagi only takes the sport seriously to get his phone privileges back. He and Mikage takes their team through victory after victory, though their friendship is tested when they confront series protagonist Yoichi Isagi and his seemingly weak team. That’s pretty much it.

This covers the same ground that the anime’s first season did in 2022, ending just in time for the recently premiered second season. This perspective flip is actually a good starting point for new fans of the series. The soccer matches play out like fights in Dragonball, with each play represented as an over-the-top special move. They all look and sound great. The eccentric characters, even the minor ones, are quite fun; it helps that each is introduced with a handy caption. After watching this movie, binging the series seems like a fun game.

The only problem is that the film runs out of gas near the final stretch. The seeming climax is followed by several new characters and plot twists before it just ends. The film is only ninety minutes long, but that stretch felt much longer.

It’s quite logical that Nagi is the film’s MVP. The depths of his ennui are often hysterical, particularly when he naps on the goalie’s net! Not under it, on it. Him narrowly saving his phone from falling down the stairs is genuinely impressive, and he continues to impress the audience in each soccer match. It’s quite compelling to see him bond with his teammates, especially Mikage, and learn to love the sport. The climactic twist, where Nagi ditches Mikage for Isagi, is given a reasonable rationale. 

Who else is on the field? Mikage is quite sympathetic when he exposits about his bored rich life, where he could theoretically have anything, except genuine friends. As I said, his and Nagi’s friendship is great, even when they become rivals at the end. The MVP of their team is Zantetsu Tsurugi, an airhead who is painfully aware of his shortcomings, and tries his best to fix them. That makes it a bummer that he disappears from the plot at the end. His malapropers are entertaining, though. What we see of Isagi is of a decent anime protagonist type; the MVP of his team is the crazy-awesome Meguru Bachira. Jinpachi Ego, Blue Lock’s headmaster, shows some surprising depth behind that, well, ego.

Blue Lock: Episode Nagi is a good appetizer of the craziness of its host series. It eases you into the franchise's central premise quite nicely, rather than leave you stranded in medias res. Its ending wasn't perfect, but the main characters' friendship capably carries the film up to that point. So, yeah, it's a pretty good sports anime movie. I may have been late to the game, but I'm pretty pleased that I made it after all. That's it for now.

Piece by Piece

We finally get to one of this year's most unusual biopics. 

Piece by Piece, which stars Pharell Williams as himself in CGI Lego form, isn't the year's most unusual biopic only because we have Better Man coming out in a few months. That one features Robbie Williams as the voice of himself, visualized by a motion-capture chimpanzee. I seriously wonder how that will do. But let's see how this one did.

Basically, Morgan Neville interviews Pharell, as well as several associates, about his life and career. We learn how Pharell grew up in Virginia Beach; how he formed The Neptunes with his High School friend, Chad Hugo, and Shay Haley; how he became famous and how success nearly spoiled him; and how he met his wife, Helen. We also see the impact of his music, as well as his activism against police brutality. I think that's mostly it.

This may not be the most unusual biopic, or even documentary, ever, but it's still one of the most dazzling. A few highlights include young Pharell swimming in Atlantis, and later seeing the colors in Stevie Wonder's I Wish. Although it has a smaller budget than the other Lego movies, going at $16 million rather than up to $99 million, the film's Lego animation is as remarkable as its predecessors. Its Lego-style gags are its best bits, whether it's the final fate of its evil executives, the Future Records headquarters literally landing in his neighborhood, or the "PG-Spray" to cover up Snoop Dogg's marijuana use. But not even the Lego aesthetics detract from the seriousness when it recreates real-life protests against police brutality.

It's quite interesting to see how Pharell met the likes of Gwen Stefani, Justin Timberlake & Jay-Z, and wrote some of their greatest hits. It even gets to how he wrote his own greatest hit, Happy from Despicable Me 2, though it glosses over his work on the first film. Those songs and a decent score by Mark Andrews compose much of the film's lively soundtrack. We also get some nifty recreations of the resulting music videos, especially the one for Happy and its many fan vids.

The interviews with Helen and his parents provide are amusing, especially when she tells how they met. It's also nice to see him in touch with Chad and Shay, long after The Neptunes disbanded. His relationship with his grandma is so compelling that you'll feel her eventual death with him. All in all, Pharell's story hits a few basic biopic beats, but the results are still captivating, even if the credits say that "not everything is 100% accurate."

Pharell justifies the aesthetics by comparing life to a Lego set, where everything is built from pre-existing bits. What these bits build up to are 93 minutes that will inform you, amuse you, and even move you. It's a surprising mix, I know, but I think I had fun with it. I'm sure you will too. To quote the film, "I think we're done."

The People's Joker

 I know what you're thinking. 

How did Vera Drew, a comedienne and Emmy-nominated editor, manage to convince DC Comics, and by extension, Warner Bros., to sign off on an indie Batman parody that also draws from her own life story?

She didn't. But she made it anyway.

The People's Joker, which is the subject of this review, premiered in 2022 for a single screening at the Toronto International Film Festival. All other screenings were cancelled after a strongly worded letter. It finally saw the light of day in theatres this past April and is currently ready to watch on your favorite streaming services. So, let's go nuts and see what this is about.

Drew, in addition to directing, co-writing, and editing the film, is also the Joker herself. Joker the Harlequin, to be precise. She tells her life story as a poor child (Griffin Kramer) in Smallville, raised by a neurotic mother (Lynne Downey) and an absent father. Joker is immediately prescribed Smylex, the world's worst antidepressant, the second she hints at gender dysphoria. As a young adult, Joker moves to the fascist Gotham City, which polices comedy itself. Joker's only option, it seems, is to apply to the United Clown Bureau, pay its high tuition fees, and join the cast of UCB Live. She meets a fellow misfit, Oswald Cobblepot (Nathan Faustyn), and they decide to form their own "anti-comedy" troupe.

Joker soon falls for one of these comedy criminals, a trans man named Mr. J (Kane Distler). Joker and J's relationship soon turns toxic thanks to J's abusive narcissistic personality. In other news, Joker's mom tries to reconnect with her, while Batman (Phil Braun) comes out of retirement to bring the troupe "to justice." It's enough to drive any clown mad, and this Joker soon decides to take down the comedy system. I think that pretty much sums it up.

The film fully embraces whatever low budget it has. To start with, the visual effects are intentionally crummy. We have characters walking through crude, yet colorful backgrounds. A few characters, including Poison Ivy and Perry White, are depicted as cruder cartoon characters. Batman himself is just a cartoon character. It even shifts to different animation styles for a few scenes, even Barbie-style! Its color scheme is extremely garish, particularly when Smylex is used. It's as intentionally silly as the comics of the 1966 Batman, but there's a point to the madness.

It has a lot of points. It doesn't shy away from showing the toxicity of Joker and J's relationship. Sure, J may seem sympathetic, particularly when we learn his history with Batman, but his guilt-shaming isn't so sympathetic. Joker emphasizes J's controlling behavior with some tips, one of which is "don't date comedians." The film takes further takes potshots at misogyny, hypocrites and the ostracization of LGBT-people. A lot of them are directed at Batman, while others are directed at the film's in-universe TV shows. Smylex, in particular, forces a smile on its user, but doesn't change their mood. I don't think I need to tell you how terrifying that is. 

Drew makes for a great Clown Princess of Comedy Crime. Joker is compelling whether she is a shy "Jokeman," as UCB Live designates her, or a confidant Harlequin. Even if her signature act, laughing at others' tragic backstories, isn't to your taste, her friendship with her fellow anti-comedians is nice to see. She and Oswald are believable best buddies, and her surprise for him at the end is unambiguously amusing. She later forms an amusing student-teacher relationship with comic vet Ra's Al Ghul (David Liebe Hart), who is much more profound than he lets on. She's also quite sympathetic as she deals with her relationships with her mother, and later, with J. Her final scene is surreal, but then again, so is this movie.

Anything else to mention? Joker's mom's hysterics are quite unbearable, and she only gradually gets better once she comes to terms with Joker's identity. Much less sympathetic is Joker's psychiatrist, Dr. Crane (Christian Calloway), who prescribed him Smylex in the first place. We also get two scenes from Robert Wuhl, who played Alexander Knox in Tim Burton's Batman, the second of which sees him endorse this endeavor. Among the film's other animated characters include Killer Croc, Mad Hatter, Mr. Freeze, and even a fictionalized Lorne Michaels (Maria Bamford). They add a lot to the silliness. Oh yeah, and let's not forget the plethora of Bat-Jokes and Bat-References.

Joker: Folie a Deux may be a disappointment, but at least The People's Joker can make up for that. This unauthorized parody is equally garish and profound, and is by far, one of the year's most memorable comic book movies. Nay, one of the most memorable comic book movies ever. You might believe it when you see it, but you'd still have a hard time explaining it. It took me at least seven hours to write this down. That time, along with the ninety-something minutes I spent watching the movie, was worth it. Just see it. That's it for now.

Saturday Night

One of the year's most unusual biopics?

This review was supposed to be for Piece by Piece, the new Pharell Williams biopic that stars himself in CGI Lego form. But there was no audio during my screening, and the sound system failed to boot up in time for the feature presentation. So, that was that. 

But, hey, at least they trailered the right Dog Man movie. 

In the meantime, I’ll give the review spot to Saturday Night, in which Jason Reitman and co-writer Gil Kenan depict the frantic ninety-minutes on October 11, 1975, before Saturday Night Live - then called NBC’s Saturday Night, first went on the air.

Actually, the film is only 109 minutes long, which means it cheats with real time. But for Lorne Michaels (Gabriel LaBelle), the creator and longtime producer of SNL, those 109 minutes might as well be ninety, or even fifty. It's a mad dash to convince David Tebet (Willem Dafoe) to let the show go on, rather than a Tonight Show rerun. A few posters perfectly summarized how wrong everything went in those ninety minutes. I'll elaborate on a few of them.

Dan Aykroyd (Dylan O'Brien) argues over the specifications of a prop gun in a sketch. Garrett Morris (Lamorne Morris, no relation), Aykroyd's sketch partner, is annoyed with playing stereotypes. John Belushi (Matt Wood) not only refuses to sign his contract, but picks fights at the drop of a hat. Chevy Chase (Cory Michael Smith) gets a dressing down by comic legend Milton Berle (JK Simmons), whom Tibbet wants to host. A lighting apparatus crashes on the set and nearly burns it down. Jim Henson (Nicholas Braun) and George Carlin (Matthew Rhys) feel out of place in the madness. The punchline on the first Weekend Update falls flat. Yes, this cast is huge, and the problems are plenty.

It's sometimes uncanny how accurate the impressions are. The cast, especially O'Brien and Smith, nail enough of their characters' inflections that they feel like them. When Johnny Carson calls up Michaels with words of discouragement, it sounds so much like him and not actor Jeff Witzke. Braun would make a great Kermit the Frog if his Henson were any indication. He also doubles as Andy Kaufman, who spends the film as his loopy Foreign Man persona and is easily precise to what I've seen of the man. Brian Welch, as longtime announcer Don Pardo, is also a stunning match for his actual persona.

What else can I say about this large cast? We barely get to see Wood's Belushi as anything other than volatile. He and Gilda Radner (Ella Hunt) have a quiet scene near the end, but that's it for his perspective. He even flips out over a polaroid camera product placement; context, anyone? Catherine Curtin is quite amusing as Joan Carbunkle, the network's extremely strict censor, especially when she deals with the writers. Michaels has a decent subplot where he and his wife, Rosie Shuster (Rachel Sennott) ponder which credit to use for her in the opening. The cast's final and impromptu dress rehearsal, which is led by Andy's timely preview of his Mighty Mouse skit, is the film's best scene. 

The dress rehearsal gives Morris a great musical number - you might know which one - accompanied by musical guest Billy Preston (Jon Batiste, this film's composer). Batiste's score is pretty good, while his musical performances as Preston are dynamite. The cinematography by Eric Steelburg, which was done on 16mm film, is quite striking, especially in its oners. There's a great one in the opening as we follow Michaels dealing with all the mayhem around him. Although we know the premiere's ultimate fate, there's some good suspense milked by the editors as the cast and crew wait Tebet's word to air. The show's first sketch, which is the last scene, wasn't that suspenseful in real life, but I was still hooked as I waited Belushi to show up.

There's a lot going on in Saturday Night, much like the famous show that it centers on. A few names get lost in the shuffle of its massive cast, even if you remember what they did. It's still worth watching for the impressive commitment of that massive cast. There's a lot of stuff I'm leaving out of this review, and I think you'll be amused by plenty of them. See it soon to see what I mean.

Anyway, Live from Modesto, it's Saturday Afternoon!

Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

Christopher Reeve wasn't the first actor to play Superman in live action, but by the time he was permanently paralyzed in a horse-riding accident in 1995, he was surely the most famous. We've had documentaries about the Man of Steel before, but we now have a documentary about Reeve himself. This is Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story.

The directors, Ian Bonhôte and Peter Ettedgui, chronicle Reeve's life before and after that fateful accident. We learn how his parents', the academic Franklin Reeve and journalist Barbara Lamb, utterly bitter divorce soured his outlook on commitment. His relationship with his father wasn't much better when he was an adult. Franklin was utterly aghast when he learned Christopher landed the part of Superman. William Hurt, his co-star in the play My Life, wasn't thrilled either, but his objections are more amusing. On that note, we see how he met his Julliard roommate and future best friend, the irreplicable Robin Williams, who might as well be the story's deuteragonist.

But actually, that title goes to Christopher's eventual wife, Dana Morosini. Early on, we see how Reeve met Gae Exton during the simultaneous productions of the first two Superman movies. They spent a decade together, even having two kids, interviewees Matthew and Alexandria, before they amicably split in 1987, the year he met Dana. Their courtship is nice to see unfold on-screen; their son, third interviewee Will, was born shortly after they married. It endears us to Dana by showing how she warmed up to her step kids, and how she supported Christopher after the accident. You know, it's pretty unfair that both of them died relatively young just as things were slightly looking up for them.

Of course, post-accident, Christopher became a disability rights activist. Some people suspected his motives were a little selfish - he did sign off on a rather creepily convincing stem cell ad with him walking - but the recently deceased Brooke Ellison, whose TV biopic Reeve directed, tells us how valuable his advocacy was. That advocacy even paid off well after his and Dana's deaths, up to, and including, the Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act being signed in 2009. It even gets great mileage out of Superman IV by intercutting Superman's big speech before the UN with Christopher's big speech at the 1996 DNC. By the end, I wasn't doubting his motives, but further convinced how super he was in real life. You might be convinced of it too.

We see him branch out of Superman with numerous dramatic roles, including Merchant-Ivory's The Bostonians and The Remains of the Day. It was his equestrian training in his TV role in Anna Karenina that got him on the saddle off-screen. A reporter doubts his post-Superman luck, but we see some pretty good clips of his other roles, both on stage and on screen. His role as Superman was not nothing; as it highlights in a clip from the first movie, his differentiation between Superman and Clark Kent was legendary. As silly as Superman seemingly was, he took the role seriously, which is partially why he became so iconic as the Man of Steel.

Superman movie producer Pierre Spengler tells us funny anecdotes of how they cast Christopher over numerous big names, including Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's also amusing seeing him mock Marlon Brando's lackadaisical work ethic as Jor-El on Johnny Carson. I was reminded that he didn't get along with Sarah Douglas and Jack O'Halloran, who played Kryptonian villains Ursa and Non, on Superman II, but that bit was ignored. On a more serious note, the montage of well-wishers' letters is quite nice, as are his home movies of his family life before and after the accident. It also further affirms how sorely missed Robin Williams is, both as a comedian and an all-around good guy.

 Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story had a two-night Fathom Events showing last month, so I thought I missed my chance. But fortunately, it officially premiered in theatres this past weekend. Any reason to listen to John Williams's theme, which is featured in the opening, is worth it. Ilan Eshkeri's similarly grand score fits right in with the classic films' legendary soundtrack. It's just that good a documentary, and I hope the Academy won't ignore it like they did Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie. See it soon, whether in theatres or on streaming, and you'll see what I mean.

Next up: One of the most unusual biopics of the year.

My Hero Academia: You're Next

 Deku and His Hero Academicians ended their decade of manga school days just a few months ago. They're expected to wrap up their anime school life with next year's eighth season. But before that, they'll headline a new anime movie, My Hero Academia: You're Next. It debuted just in time for that last manga chapter in Japanese theatres and is now going Plus Ultra in US theatres now.

Let's introduce our villain first. His name is Valdo Gollini, a mafioso who happens to be a huge fan of the world's best superhero, All-Might. When All-Might retired, the hero finished off his farewell speech with "It's your turn." Valdo, like much of the world, has a Quirk, and his lets him turn gold into anything. So, he makes himself look like All-Might and sets out for his turn to be a superhero. In actuality, "Dark Might" and his family want to lord over the world with their strength. He's basically a Superman fanboy who thinks his greatest attribute is that he's stronger than everyone, and not that he uses that incredible strength for good.

A little foreshadowing for the next film I'm covering.

Meanwhile, Deku and his classmates are rounding up escaped supervillains when the Gollinis show up with their hostage, a rich girl named Anna Scervino. Anna's Quirk magnifies other Quirks at her physical expense. Dark Might uses Anna to turn his flying yacht and several city blocks into a flying fortress, which draws in everyone in range. Fortunately, that includes the class, and they set out to fight the Gollinis on their turf. Giulio Gandini, Anna's cyborg butler, reluctantly joins Deku to find his charge. 

The screenplay gives plenty of showtime for Deku and his classmates, even more so than last time. Sure, the final battle boils down to Deku teaming up with two of his main classmates, Bakugo and Shoto, but several of the "extras" get several scenes to show off their Quirkiness. That's more than, say, watching news coverage in a hotel room (like plenty of them were in the first movie, Two Heroes). A few of the actual extras seem invested in Giulio when he exposits his backstory with Anna, which is a neat bit of animated acting. While this is an interquel between the sixth and seventh seasons, you won't be completely lost if you go in blind. You may be confused when Deku talks to "ghosts" (the previous users of his Quirk, long story), but that's just in one scene. 

The main crux of the film is Anna and Guilio's relationship. Their shared history is kept a mystery, which begins with Giulio trying to mercy kill Anna. Except, we don't know the mercy part for much of the film. It's still intriguing as the film unravels Giulio's motives before the audience and Deku. That suspense is rewarded when Giulio comes clean and the film flashbacks to them meeting and enjoying life at her estate. I'm sure you've seen their dynamic before, but you'll still care about these two. It makes the Gollinis quite detestable that they don't even care about Anna's physical condition. It makes it rewarding when Anna and Giulio earn a happy ending.

Studio Bones continues their Quirky excellence with its animation. It gets going good when Deku leads a team of his classmates against a trio of villains, one of whom can turn a truck into a sentient Mad Max machine. The flying yacht, both in its normal form and its super fortress form, is quite impressive. The different environments in the super fortress, which include a maze, an amusement park, a castle, and snowy mountains, are all splendid to look at. The new characters designed by creator Kohei Horikoshi are as memorable as the rest of the series' favorites. Those include a teleporter/psychic duo, a legion of brutish monsters, and a wizard cosplayer whose DnD LARP is cut short. The most memorable fight, of course, is the very long final battle, which is a good showcase for Yuki Hayashi's score.

Yes, the final battle is so long that it practically has two climaxes. That's the only time it felt longer than its actual runtime of 110-minutes. That aside, My Hero Academia: You're Next once again gives us some great anime superheroics from its regular cast, as well as a compelling plot with its new characters. There's quite a bit I left out of this review, and I think you'll be impressed by a few of them. It'll be a long while before it comes to home media, so see it soon if you want to see it in theatres at all. As for me, it's time to go from anime heroics to real heroics.

Joker: Folie à Deux

I never thought I wanted an animated DC comics movie from Sylvain Chomet.

But I do now.

Joker: Folie à Deux, the year's most controversial sequel, actually begins with a cartoon, Me and My Shadow, from the aforementioned creator of The Triplets of Belleville. In it, Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix in the rest of the movie) and his shadow/Joker persona, fight it out, live on TV. The animation is as lively as Belleville's opening sequence; the number he "performs," Nick Cave's cover of What the World Needs Now, is decent. Now for the rest of the movie.

Arthur is about to stand trial for his crimes during the last movie. His lawyer, Maryanne Stewart (Catherine Keener), wants to get him off by reason of dissociative identity disorder. The head guard of Arkham, Jackie Sullivan (Brendan Gleeson), hates him as much as his victims' families. One day, Arthur catches a glimpse of Harleen "Lee" Quinzel (Lady Gaga), a fellow patient with her own crazy streak. They hit it off once he joins her music class. And then, the trial happens, and Arthur is left wondering if the world cares about him or Joker. That's pretty much it, is it?

Oh yeah, and the film's also a musical, which is probably the first reason why it's so controversial. But I thought it made sense once they announced that angle. Chicago famously refactored its stage counterpart's vaudevillian numbers as protagonist Roxie Hart's daydreams. So, it would make sense to depict its musical numbers as Arthur's own daydreams. The song choices are fine, while the musical numbers themselves jolt the film with needed life, particularly when they're mixed with returning composer Hildur Guðnadóttir's contributions.

The execution is a bit weird. Sometimes, we have Arthur and Lee performing on soundstages; other times, they sing in "reality" to an imaginary orchestra. Arthur's first number is clearly a daydream, and I thought Harley's first number was too, but no, she's actually singing while fleeing with Arthur. In a bit of levity, we have Arthur singing Bewitched (Bothered and Bewildered) in an interview, much to the interviewer's (Steve Coogan) confusion. The musical angle also takes about a half-hour before it officially kicks in. The plot is so slow it feels taxing waiting for each new number to begin. Thankfully, each number is often worth it.

Todd Philips and his co-writer, Scott Silver, wrote their sequel to demystify Joker as a likable character. Unfortunately, they made Arthur too sympathetic, both in the last movie, and in this one. In both movies, Arthur is kicked down by the world, but in this movie, he nary gets a chance to "go werewolf" on his oppressors. He imagines himself doing so in one number, and he gets some good clowning when he defends himself at one point. But that's about it. The film emphasizes the tragedy of Arthur's plight, and believe me, Phoenix gets some good acting there, while the especially controversial ending turns his story into a bitter Shaggy Dog Story.

Gaga affirms herself as a great singer and actress as Lee. She's a manipulative troublemaker with a surprising amount of free-range. She sets a piano, and with it, the music room, on fire early on; yet she still gets to see Arthur in solitary. She has some great romantic chemistry with Arthur, particularly when she asks to see "the real" him. As manipulative as she is, she turns out to be just a fan looking for validation. She's actually quite sympathetic when her given backstory crumbles into dust and the real her appears.

Equally sympathetic are several returning characters who are called during the trial. These include Arthur's ex co-worker Gary Puddles (Leigh Gill), whom Joker cross-examines, his former neighbor Sophie Drummond (Zazie Beetz) and former social worker Debra Kane (Sharon Washington). Sullivan and his goons may act chummy with Arthur, but they're monstrous villains, and their karma houdinis are especially annoying. Assistant D.A. Harvey Dent (Harry Lawtey), the future villain Two-Face, along with the father of one of Joker's subway kills (Ray Lykins), are more sympathetic than the guards.

The musical numbers, whether they take place in the real or daydream worlds, are all rendered spectacularly by returning production designer Mark Friedberg and cinematographer Lawrence Sher. I almost wish all the musical numbers were in daydream world, especially with splendorous sets such as these, but I digress. The makeup team, along with costume designer Arianne Phillips give its main clowns plenty of wild looks. The sound mixing was fine, though it was a bit hard to hear Joker's swan song, but a few choice sound effects packed a punch.

I found it pretty overwhelming watching the first Joker, but I warmed it up to it the more I studied its psychological and acting aspects. Folie à Deux, on the other hand, was a bit more tedious than overwhelming, but maybe I'll also warm up to it too. It being a musical is hardly the worse of its problems. I definitely liked its musical numbers, but not its shaggy dog punchline. At least it's more coherent than, say, Megalopolis. Overall, it's fine, but its Chomet opening was great. I meant it, more Chomet please, that'll be cool.

That's it for now.

Megalopolis

Despite any criticisms I may have about Megalopolis, the sci-fi epic that Francis Ford Coppola spent forty-five years and $120 million developing, I can at least say that it's his movie. There's no way you can mistake it for anyone else's. Do I have anything else positive about it?

Yes, I do. The film looks good. In Coppola's "fable," the city of New York is instead the city of New Rome, which is visualized with some impressive set design. Its version of Madison Square Garden is practically the Coliseum, while protagonist Cesar Catalina's (Adam Driver) office is as elaborate as Edward Carrere's work on The Fountainhead. Cesar's favorite hangout is atop the Chrysler Building, and the digital view above the city is worth the price of admission. Milena Canonero's costume designs, particularly the Classically inspired wardrobes of Society's elites, are as weirdly interesting as those in Bram Stoker's Dracula. What about the story they inhabit?

Well, much like The Fountainhead's Howard Roark, Cesar is an innovative architect hamstrung by regressive elites. He's the inventor of Megalon, a substance that can do anything, and he wants to use it to reshape New Rome into his utopia of Megalopolis. Mayor Franklin Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito) and his inner circle refuse to consider Megalon, believing it to be unsafe. Unfortunately for Cicero, his daughter Julia (Nathalie Emmanuel) falls for the rogue architect. Oh, did I mention that Cesar can stop time? He can, because of course he can, and the accompanying visual effects are pretty neat.

There are plots aplenty throughout its 138-minutes. Cesar's jealous cousin Clodio Pulcher (Shia LeBeouf) rallies the common folks against Cesar. Their uncle Crassus (Jon Voight) is a bit more supportive, but his new wife, and Cesar's ex-mistress, Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza), plots with Clodio against Crassus and Cesar. Cesar's Megalon has a terrible secret, but that's invalidated by Cicero's own secret. A Soviet Satellite crashes into New Rome, but it's barely an afterthought once it happens. All the while, Cesar's personal assistant Fundi Romaine (Laurence Fishburne), narrates about the fall of society, or something.

Subtlety, what is that? The characters bluntly exposit about the film's themes and their motivations. Romaine opens the film by comparing modern America with Rome just before its fall. To drive the point home, Cesar imagines a bunch of statues collapsing from exhaustion. It doesn't take much effort to recognize Wow Platinum (yes, that's a name!) as a social-climbing femme fatale. It does take effort, however, to keep up with the plot when it essentially rambles along. It's particularly noticeable in the final stretch, but a few scenes beforehand are either way long or oddly edited. We see Nush Berman (Dustin Hoffman), Cicero's fixer, get killed, likely during the satellite crash, but that moment comes way late and out of context. The film was conceived as an update of the real-life Catalinarian Conspiracy, but even that context is lost in the shuffle.

What can I say about the characters? Cesar spends a good portion of his first big speech reciting Hamlet, and later argues with Julia over his use of the word "entitle." He's a bit of a stiff, but she's decently compelling as she rebels against her father. Speaking of which, it's pretty hard to care about the start of Cicero's Heel-Face Turn later on. Clodio hams it up so much as if LaBeouf was auditioning for The Joker (I'd think he'd be a good choice). It's quite noticeable when Clodio chastises his stooge, Huey (Bailey Ives), for a brazen assassination attempt on Cesar. It's unintentionally funny when Crassus turns the tables on Clodio and Wow's treachery. This is a massive cast, and some names get lost in the shuffle; among those who aren't include Talia Shire as Cesar's mom, and Kathryn Hunter as Cicero's wife. 

Megalopolis's narrative and tone goes all over the place. However, it's still a fascinating mess thanks to its production design and weirdest flights of fancy. It may be worth a watch if you're in the right mindset, but beware, its bouts of rambling may feel longer than its entire production cycle. Several books, including Simon Braund's The Greatest Movies You'll Never See, documented Megalopolis before it finally came to be. Those accounts are well worth the read, even if you come out of the movie unimpressed. That's it for now.

The Wild Robot

 You know, I'm a bit worried about Dreamworks at the moment. 

They have a new movie coming out in January, Dog Man, but trailers are already showing for Luc Besson's film, Dogman. You'd think that someone picking the trailers would tell the differences between the two considering one is animated and made for kids, while the other is live-action and not for kids. And Besson's Dogman came out stateside around March! Is Dreamworks's marketing getting ruined by mismatched trailers?

Task Acquired: Review Another Movie.

Fortunately, there's no mistaking Dreamworks's current movie, The Wild Robot, with anything else. Whether in title, story or art style, Chris Sanders's adaptation of the Peter Brown book stands on its own among this year's crowd. Let's take a further look.

Ironically, the protagonist of this "unique" film was made on an assembly line. She is ROZZUM 7314 (Lupita Nyong'o), later designated Roz, a product of the Universal Dynamics corporation. And yes, I did recognize the allusion to Rossum's Universal Robots, the Czech play that actually coined the term robot.

Anyway, Roz is shipwrecked on an unknown island during a typhoon. The local wildlife enjoys antagonizing the “monster” among them; they won’t even let her phone home! Roz accidentally crushes a goose nest, leaving a single egg intact. A runt gosling, later designated Brightbill (Kit Connor as an adult), soon hatches and imprints on Roz. Let’s just say being a parent isn’t part of Roz’s programming.

Enter Fink the Fox (Padro Pascal), a self-proclaimed “goose expert.” He decides to help Roz teach Brightbill how to be an independent goose. Unfortunately, the other geese reject Brightbill, who eventually rejects Roz. But Roz can’t give up on Brightbill; it’s not in her programming. Besides, winter is coming, and so is Universal Dynamics.

And neither are forgiving.

This movie about a soulless machine will have you feeling a lot. It has a particularly wicked sense of humor as Roz observes her animal neighbors' casualness towards death. Pinktail the Opossum (Catherine O'Hara) and her brood are the funniest of the supporting characters for that reason. It's quite amusing as Roz treats the world with a stoic, yet chipper voice. It becomes less amusing once she, and we, realize her isolation. It's both funny and sad when the judgmental wildlife messes with Roz's transceiver as she tries to phone home. They don't want her, but they don't want her to leave.

Roz and Fink's interspecies parenting of Brightbill will challenge the sternest hearts during its 101-minutes. Fink is quite a funny liar, yet he's still a great friend for Roz. Brightbill growing up is compelling, though a good chunk of that is unfortunately left off-screen. In fact, there are a few predictable turns, such as the fallout over Brightbill learning his family's fate, but they don't detract from how moving the found family is. When Brightbill finally flies south, you'll be shocked that the film is only half over. Fortunately, the remaining film, where Roz and Fink rescue their neighbors from a winter storm, and later rally them to battle Universal Dynamics, is still moving.

There's much to like about the film's painted CGI aesthetics. The opening shot, in which we see the inside of the fateful typhoon, is not one of them. All the lightning in quick succession made it unbearable to watch; if that's the point, they did it too well. Past that, we get some stunning scenery and very appealing character designs. Roz and her variants are obviously the cuddliest of them all. Even the menacing bear Thorn (Mark Hamill) is appealing once the film shows he isn't that bad. The animated cinematography is absolutely stunning, particularly as it follows Brightbill and his fellow geese in flight. You'll have to see for yourself when Thunderbolt the Falcon (Ving Rhames) teaches Brightbill how to fly. Kris Bower accentuates the needed emotions with a gripping score.

There's the slight probability you might get the wrong Dog Man trailer with The Wild Robot as I did. But please, try not to let that detract from your viewing experience. Its wide emotional range will easily draw you into its animated world; by the end, I wasn't thinking about the wrong trailer. It truly is an unforgettable movie, animated or otherwise, and it's worth seeing as soon as possible, whether or not you get the right trailer. What else is there to say about it? It's just that great.

Transformers One

 And now for something pleasant.

After seven live-action movies, the Transformers roll-out in the animated prequel, Transformers One. This is the franchise's first animated movie since 1986, as well as one of its best ever. Let's transform and see why.

On the planet Cybertron, the robotic citizenry is divided between those born with "T-Cogs," which makes them Transformers, and those who aren't, which makes them miners. These miners dig for Energon, Cybertron's fuel, which has been scarce following the loss of the legendary Matrix of Leadership. In Iacon, the capital of Cybertron, Orion Pax (Chris Hemsworth) and D-16 (Brian Tyree Henry) both wish to prove themselves more than miners. They end up crashing the Iacon 5000 race, which impresses Cybertron's leader Sentinel Prime (Jon Hamm), but not the brutish guard Darkwing (Isaac Singleton Jr). 

Our heroes are demoted underground, where they meet the peppy B-127 (Keegan Michael Key). They also uncover the location of Alpha Trion (Laurence Fishburne), the last survivor of the thirteen legendary Primes. With the reluctant assistance of their former supervisor, Elita-1 (played by Scarlett Johansson), they set out to find him. Trion not only gives them their own T-Cogs but tells them that Sentinel is More Than Meets the Eye. This tests Orion Pax and D-16's friendship, up until it finally breaks, and they become Optimus Prime and Megatron, respectively.

Yeah, pleasant.

Despite the forgone conclusion, director Josh Cooley and his writing team make a fresh path to that point. It's even morbid in hindsight when Orion Pax and D-16 proclaim themselves best friends early on. In fact, D-16's character development maybe the film's greatest spark. As voiced by Henry, he's quite a good bro bot for Orion Pax, which makes their friendship fun to watch. But when Sentinel is revealed to be a villain, D-16 is consumed with slow-boiling rage as he seeks vengeance on not only him, but anyone he sees in his way. It finally explodes with terrifying force when D-16 finally becomes Megatron. It's also quite interesting to see how Megatron restructures the former Cybertronian High Guard into the Decepticons, as it gives its commander Starscream (Steve Buscemi) a justifiable reason for his famous backstabbing.

That doesn't mean the future Autobots don't mean much here. Orion Pax is quite likable long before his climactic upgrade. His scheming is funny, but just as importantly, he proves his heroism when he saves miner and future Autobot Jazz (Evan Michael Lee) from a cave-in. His friendship-turned-enmity with Megatron culminates in a strong climactic battle. Meanwhile, B-127 (Bumblebee) is quite funny, Elita-1 is a good voice of reason, and Alpha Trion is a decent Obi-Wan type. I probably should make room for Sentinel Prime and Darkwing, even though they aren't heroes. Sentinel's nice guy act is quite believable, particularly when he praises our heroes for crashing the Iacon 5000. That just makes his true casual evilness all the more loathsome. Darkwing, meanwhile, is a typical bully, and his comeuppance is quite amusing.

Industrial Light and Magic animated this film just as they did the live-action movies. It's no surprise that everything about it, from the production design to the character designs, is amazing. Iacon is quite splendid, while the Cybertronian surface above it is quite fascinating. One of Iacon's most unique touches are the roads, which materialize as a bot drives through them. There are several franchise favorites among the massive crowd shots, and I'm sure you'll have fun spotting as many as possible. On an individual level, Airachnid (Vanessa Luguori), Sentinel Prime's right-hand bot, has an impressively creepy design. The sound effects are neat, but modulating Buscemi's voice into Starscream's famously scratchy one is a nice touch. All of it is accentuated with another great score by Brian Tyler, particularly its impressive opening theme.

I didn't think much of Transformers One when it was announced several years ago. Way to prove my skepticism wrong, movie. Its finale cements itself as not only one of the best films in the franchise, but one of the best prequels ever. I'm now intrigued for a possible Transformers Two to see how these Autobots and Decepticons brought their war to Earth. But that may only be possible if the box office picks up exponentially soon. Have the last few live-action Transformers film let you down? Give this animated film a try, it's more than meets the eye.

That's it for now.

The Substance

When The Thing was released in 1982, it was critically shredded for its grotesque imagery and was stranded in the box-office cold. I wonder how those same critics would react to The Substance, this year's Cannes Film Festival sensation, and its grotesqueries? For this modern reviewer, writing about it and reading about it is a lot easier than watching it. Here's hoping I can describe it without the censors noticing.

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore), a former Hollywood superstar, is now the host of a Daytime Aerobics show. That is, until her boss, Harvey (Dennis Quaid), fires her on her fiftieth birthday in favor of somebody younger. Elisabeth gets into a nasty wreck on her way home; afterwards, a mysterious nurse (Robin Greer) gives her a flash drive promoting The Substance. It's a self-cloning serum which will produce a younger clone with one injection. She'll have to switch her consciousness between the current and new hers every week (no exceptions). With her one injection, Sue (Margaret Qualley) is born.

As Sue, Elisabeth gets her show and superstardom back. But all that fame exasperates Elisabeth's feelings of self-hatred. "There is only one you," the mysterious inventor (Yann Bean) of The Substance explains, and both must co-exist. Sue, however, is determined to remain young and beautiful by any means. And things get much weirder and grosser, if they haven't been already.

Coralie Fargeat's second feature film is determined to unsettle you from minute one. Her cinematographer, Benjamin Kracun, films quite a bit of the movie in extreme close-ups. I'm sure many an appetite will be lost when they see Harvey stuff his face with shrimp up-close. In fact, most of Harvey's scenes are shot up-close, which only amplifies his unpleasantness exponentially. That's not getting into the actual body horror, which is just as disturbing on a visual and auditory level as The Thing. Sue/Elisabeth's refusal to switch personas causes Sue to literally fall apart, Elisabeth to rapidly age to absurdity, and results in a second clone, Monstro Elisasue, a misshapen mutant reminiscent of The Thing's most gruesome forms. Everyone following me so far?

To say that this film is overwhelming is an understatement. It's still strangely compelling, all things considered. A lot of it is due to Moore's performance, which lets us pity Elisabeth in any state. Late in the film, Elisabeth prepares for a date with an old classmate, only for her to be stuck doing her makeup again & again, until she finally crumbles from body dysmorphia. Moore specially makes Elisabeth pitiable underneath the most extreme of the film's fantastic makeup work. The finale gives her a very strange moment of happiness. Qualley, meanwhile, is quite formidable whether she's playing Sue as Elisabeth's younger self or her own person. She is also pitiable once she falls apart at the end. 

If body horror isn't your thing, then I advise you not to take The Substance. Those who are will not be disappointed. This is everything from a treatise on body dysmorphia to the world's most surreal anti-drug PSA. The bloody finale, in which Monstro makes her public debut, is so ridiculously over-the-top that it's kind of funny. It may be brutal, it may be overwhelming, but it certainly isn't forgettable. This will make for a great midnight movie, whether in theatres or on MUBI, the streaming platform distributing it now. See it soon if you want to see what I mean.

Next up, something pleasant.

The Killer's Game

Let's play America's new favorite game show, The Killer's Game! With your host, Jethro....

......................................

And there's nobody in the studio.

Oh well, let me tell you what this movie is all about.

Based on the 1997 novel by Jay Bonansinga (several novels for The Walking Dead), this film spent decades in development hell, cycling in numerous directors and stars before J.J. Perry and Dave Bautista signed up. As a reminder of how old it is, one of its screenwriters is Rand Ravich, the director and writer of The Astronaut's Wife, and this is his first theatrical film since it bombed in 1999. Now for the main event.

Joe Flood (Bautista) is one of the world's best hitmen. He and his handler, Zvi (Ben Kingsley), take great pride in the fact that they kill only bad guys, such as some nobody during a modern dance performance. When another hitman shows up, there's a panic in the dance hall, and Joe ends up saving the lead dancer, Maize (Sofia Boutella), from a stampede. They quickly fall for each other, but Joe's chronic migraines get in the way.

Joe is soon diagnosed with the neurodegenerative Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease and is given a prognosis of three months at best. Joe decides to get it over with by putting a hit out on himself. He consults with another handler, Marianna Antoinette (Pom Klementieff), for the unusual task. Antoinette, whose father was killed by Joe, is all too happy to put her assassins to work. As he awaits his end, Joe learns that he was misdiagnosed due to a clerical error, and that he's perfectly fine. Since Antoinette refuses to cancel the contract, Joe decides to prolong his life by taking on the murderer's row coming his way. He also has to protect Maize from becoming collateral damage. Easy, right?

Joe may have been misdiagnosed, but the film suffers a case of mood confusion. It can't seem to decide if it's a grounded romantic dramedy, or an over-the-top action comedy. For example, Joe breaks up with Maize, just before he learns of the misdiagnosis, and later composes a final voice message for her, in an overly melodramatic sequence amped up with Roque Banos's score. When Joe learns the "good news," just before the first hired guns show up, the mood becomes farcical. The hired guns are all outrageous stereotypes which include two sets of brothers, the first of whom fight with their motorcycles and the other being rowdy Scotsmen, and a flamenco dancer, who only show up just to fight Joe and get brutally killed. The confusion keeps on going up to the final battle.

The only hired gun with any development is Lovedahl (Terry Crews), the last man who takes up the job. That's only because he's kept on the sidelines throughout the film. He initially turns down the contract because the pay was too low for him. But once he gets going, he and his obnoxious assistant, Money (George Sommer), nab Maize and drive up to find Joe. He would have been a better rival for Joe if he showed up earlier and often. He's the only surviving hired gun, so there was some potential. As for Money, his best scenes were of him being a punching bag.

Bautista is as likable as a romantic lead as he is a cool hitman. He and Maize have a pretty likable relationship, even during the mood swings, and that likability doesn't diminish with each of his kills. The contrast between Joe's personal and professional lives is highlighted in an amusing montage. We're all for Joe when Maize is threatened late into the film. Maize finishing off the last hired gun somewhat makes up for her lack of screentime for much of the film. Amongst their supporting cast, Antoinette doesn't do much but gloat evilly; Zvi and his wife Sharon (Alex Kingston) are good mentor figures; the priest Father O'Brien (Dylan Moran) is actually quite funny.

The film's visual flair is pretty interesting. The hired guns get over-the-top intro scenes, while multiple scene transitions incorporate objects from the next scene. The CGI blood can be either jarringly out of place or perfectly in sync with the outrageousness. All the fake blood doesn't diminish how brutal the violence can get (such as a knockout punch for one hired gun). There's also some great location filming of Budapest by cinematographer Flavio Martínez Labiano for those who don't like blood. I didn't even realize that the Langos Brothers, aka the aforementioned biker brothers, were both played by the same actor (Miklós Szentváry-Lukács). I commend the visual trickery involved here. I also commend the sound design for helping us empathize with Joe during his migraines.

Is anyone going to play The Killer's Game a week later? Or are you all going to see what everyone else is offering? It maybe tonally confused, but I got to admit, it was interesting when it was over-the-top. A little fine tuning could have made it a great killer farce instead of an OK one. At least it's more enjoyable than some other recent films. It's time to prepare for some more big films in the next few months. And my weekend is packed with a few of them. Stay tuned.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

 Oh, now you've done it Jethro. You've almost hit the limit! On the title even!

Baxter, relax, haven't you listened to the musical? It has to be "three times in a row, spoken unbroken." So, as long as we don't reuse words a lot, we can say Beetlejuice as many times as we want. It's important for reviewing Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

......

Nothing happened! Hey, you're right!

Anyway, let's see what ghoulish hijinks Tim Burton and his writers have come up with for the Ghost with the Most.

Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) is now the host of her own talk show, Ghost House, where she investigates, well, ghost houses and interviews their mortal occupants. She's still haunted by visions of Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton); meanwhile, she has a strained relationship with her stepmother, Delia (Catherine O'Hara), and her daughter, Astrid (Jenna Ortega) is embarrassed to be associated with her. Lydia, Delia and Astrid all head back to Winter River, Connecticut, for the funeral of their patriarch, Charles (originated by Jeffrey Jones, whose legal troubles made it impossible for him to return). Her producer and boyfriend, Rory (Justin Theroux), even proposes right at the wake.

Meanwhile, Beetlejuice's (or Betelgeuse's) ex-wife, Delores (Monica Bellucci), pulls herself back together and goes on a soul-sucking beeline for His Ghostliness. Also, meanwhile, Astrid finds herself a new ghost boyfriend named Jeremy (Arthur Conti), who just wants to get his mortal green card stamped. Astrid agrees to help him, unaware that Jeremy is a murderer who wants to trade her life for his. When Lydia finds out about it, she calls up Beetlejuice to help her go after them. She agrees to marry the ghoul if it means getting Astrid back. It all leads to a bit of mayhem at a church.

That sure sounds like a lot. The film is only 105-minutes long, slightly longer than the first film, but the big hook of it all - Beetlejuice and Lydia's team-up - kicks off about an hour in. What other stuff is there? There's also some business with ghost cop Wolf Jackson (Willem Dafoe) and his squad of keystone ghost cops. Delores sucks a few souls during the film (including a janitor played by Danny DeVito), but she finally gets to Beetlejuice in the climax. Delia's obsession with the eccentric leads her to the last mistake of her life. Surprisingly, these subplots don't really overwhelm the film.

Lydia and Astrid's problems drive most of the film. Lydia's nightmares of Beetlejuice, nicely edited by Jay Prychidny, are as scary for her as they are for the audience. Just wait until you see the finale. Astrid spends the first half believing her mother a fraud, which makes it memorable when she discovers Jeremy's ethereal nature. Astrid and Jeremy are pretty likable together, at least, until we realize who Jeremy was. Astrid and Lydia also have pretty good chemistry together, in good times and in bad. Richard (Santiago Cabrera), Lydia's husband and Astrid's dad, only has about a few scenes in death. But they were pretty good ones. 

Meanwhile, Dafoe is clearly having a ball as Jackson, who is one of the funniest characters in the film. Delia's eccentricities are amusing, but her intuition into Lydia's relationships is impressive. We pity her once she realizes that she is among the recently deceased. Bellucci is fine as Delores, but she doesn't have much to do. Rory is quite tactless, domineering, and you'll realize he's a lot worse. He's still a lot more likable than Jeremy, that's for sure.

And who can forget Beetlejuice? He's just as tactless and manically charming as he was when he debuted in 1988. He has a few moments of decency, including giving Jeremy a nasty surprise, so he isn't that bad. But still, you'll understand Lydia's apprehension around him. Beetlejuice first appeared in full forty-seven minutes into the first film and had about seventeen minutes of screentime. This time, he appears quite earlier and seems like he has more screentime, but he never wears out his welcome.

Production Designer Mark Scruton and Costume Designer Colleen Atwood do a pretty good job recreating the visual aesthetics from the original film. The new locales, outfits and even lighting schemes are especially appealing. The makeup and hairstyling for both the living and dead are just as delightfully ghoulish as the first film's Oscar-winning work. The most ghoulish design maybe Charles Deetz's new look, though I'm positive CGI was involved. There's some good stop-motion to visualize Charles's death, as well as another old favorite, the Titan Sandworm. Danny Elfman's update of the first film's theme, as well as his new score, is outstanding. And yes, The Banana Boat Song makes a cameo, while Macarthur Park figures into this film's big musical number (I never realized how silly the lyrics were, but that's just me).

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is a pretty good belated sequel to a dark comedy classic. It is significantly more macabre than its predecessor, but it has a compelling narrative about both the living and the dead learning to appreciate life. If Warner Brothers wants to remake the first film, they should do the decent thing and adapt the Broadway musical. Then again, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice does have some thematic overlap with the musical, so maybe they did. Burton credits this film with getting his filmmaking groove back; I await his next film more than ever.

Yeah, I can't wait for the inevitable Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice...

(It's Showtime!)

I walked into that one, didn't I?

That's it for now.