Black Phone 2

The Black Phone may have been a short story, but when a movie is good enough, Hollywood finds a way to make a sequel. Fortunately, the sequel they've dialed up, Black Phone 2, is pretty good. I've got quite a few fitting titles for this Halloween season, so let's go.

We now find Finney Blake (Mason Thames) in 1982, a few years after he permanently disconnected the evil Grabber (Ethan Hawke) from the mortal coil. He's now a jaded stoner who gets into fights and avoids phones whenever possible. Meanwhile, his psychic sister Gwen (Madeline McGraw) converses with her late mom, Hope (Anna Lore), in her dreams. It turns out that mother and daughter are both dreaming of the same place, Camp Alpine Lake, where the Grabber began his murderous career. Joined by their classmate Ernesto Arellano, whose brother Robin was the Grabber's penultimate victim (both played by Miguel Mora), the Blakes head off to Camp.

A massive blizzard immediately snows in our heroes at Alpine Lake. They're accompanied by supervisor Armando (Demian Bichir); his niece, Mustang (Arianna Rivas); two sanctimonious employees, Barbara & Kenneth (Maev Beaty & Graham Abbey); the ghosts of the Grabber's first three victims; and the Grabber himself. The Grabber plans to kill Gwen in her dreams, which will kill her for real. Our heroes can de-power the Grabber by exhuming his first victims from their frozen lake grave. They'll just have to stay awake as long as possible; but that might not be enough.

While some might scoff at The Grabber becoming Freddy Krueger, I think it's a natural development for him. What else was he going to be other than dead? The film's new setting doesn't quite amplify his menace as much as the first film's basement. But Hawke still gives it his all as this force of giddy malevolence. He wants vengeance, something he takes too long to spell out to Finney, and he's going to have fun doing it. We’ll enjoy watching Gwen take him down in one dream, before teaming up with the others to finish him off in the final battle.

Finney mostly takes a backseat for Gwen to become the protagonist. The only hiccup with this arrangement comes when he clobbers a new kid jobber in his first scene. A little more on-screen context would make this re-introduction a little less jarring, but I digress. Anyway, Finney gets plenty of time to shine as he deals with his traumatic ordeal, especially during a major breakdown in Act 3. Gwen, meanwhile, proves quite compelling as she deals with not just The Grabber, but her own psychic powers. A few developments, plus one last ghostly phone call, give Gwen the film's most emotional moments. At least we get some levity with her creative insults. 

Now, a few words for the rest of the cast. Ernesto proves himself to be a pretty good guy during this ordeal. Mora wonderfully distinguishes Ernesto and Robin between the two movies. Amongst the staff, Armando is a pretty good mentor; Barbara & Kenneth are annoying, but not that annoying; Mustang is just fine. Jeremy Davies returns as the Blakes' dad, Terrence, who thankfully doesn't relapse into abusive dad territory despite his drinking. I think that's enough for them.

Now, we go to Scott Derrickson's directorial panache. He filters the Dreamworld through a home video aesthetic that, surprisingly, remains consistently terrifying, especially when it weaves in and out of reality mid-shot. The action scenes are pretty spectacular as editor Louise Ford switches between an invisible and "actual" Grabber. Ford and cinematographer Pär M. Ekberg go great together, particularly when Finney is surrounded by the ghost boys. As the camera circles around Finney, trapped in the Camp's "dead" phonebooth, the ghosts teleport between blind spots. It's so seamless! Derrickson's son, Atticus, accentuates the dread with his wonderful score. 

Go ahead. Accept the charges and pick up this sequel. I don't know how Black Phone 2 compares with this month's horror slate, but it's still a delightfully spooky time. See it however and whenever you can. I think I said enough.

Kiss of the Spider Woman

- Ah, I see that Madame Web finally got that sequel it always wanted.

- No, it didn’t, Bo.

- Come again?

- Kiss of the Spider Woman, by Manuel Puig, was previously filmed in 1985 with Raul Julia & William Hurt headlining. While Puig already adapted it to the stage in 1980, Terrence McNally did so again in 1992 as a musical with songs by Chicago and Cabaret’s Fred Ebb & John Kander. Thanks to Bill Condon, who adapted Chicago for Rob Marshall in 2002, the Spider Woman musical is now a movie. With me so far?

- Yeah, just tell me all about it.

- It’s 1983, Argentina, during the final months of the junta. Here, we find two mismatched cellmates: Valentin Arregui (Diego Luna), a revolutionary, and Luis Molina (Tonatiuh), a trans-coded window dresser. To pass the time, Molina tells Valentin about his favorite movie musical. It stars his favorite matinee idol, Ingrid Luna (Jennifer Lopez) as Aurora, a woman caught between two men - her gay-coded assistant Kendall Nesbitt and the more conventional Armando - and the ghostly Spider Woman (also Lopez). For the retelling, Molina casts himself and Valentin as the leading men.

Meanwhile, back in reality, it turns out Molina is actually a mole for the Warden (Bruno Bichir). Molina is supposed to get Valentin to spill his secrets. Molina, instead, falls for Valentin, and Valentin gradually reciprocates. How will this melodrama end?

- Badly? But please go on.

- The musical numbers come in through Molina’s fantasies, both from the in-universe movie and his own musings. Yes, it’s sort of a combination of how Chicago and Cabaret handled their numbers for their films. The mood whiplash can sometimes be extreme. One of the peppiest numbers, the Fosse-inspired Where You Are, follows one of the story’s darkest moments. Meanwhile, the title song perfectly juxtaposes a pivotal moment between our leads; it’s also Lopez’s standout scene. And then, there’s the finale, which makes for a memorably surreal dying dream. Did I say too much?

- Yeah.

- William Hurt won an Oscar for his take on Molina, and hopefully, Tonatiuh won’t be far behind. He’s delightfully giddy when he goes on about the movie, and quite sympathetic when reality cruelly sinks in. We fully empathize with the circumstances that drove him to be the Warden’s mole. By the end, I felt kind of ill as I recognized that the novel’s downer ending was imminent. But at least the aforementioned finale gives Molina one last moment of happiness.

As Valentin, Luna plays the jaded stoic pretty well. He and Tonatiuh share some excellent chemistry, particularly when Molina’s influence finally enlivens Valentin. Nothing, not even a cleaning crew, will make you take your eyes off him during the final shot. Lopez, meanwhile, does all right as Aurora & Ingrid, but she’s perfectly menacing as the Spider Woman. Her guises give her a lush wardrobe designed by Colleen Atwood & Christine L. Cantella, which perfectly compliments Scott Chambliss’s extravagant production design. And finally, we have Bichir, whose Warden tempers his menace with professionalism.

The film also has an exquisite makeup and hairstyling team. In prison, our leads and their fellow prisoners have seen better days. In Molina’s fantasies, he and Valentin are all dressed up and ready to go. The contrast between our leads’ real and fantasy selves is so extreme that they look like different people. You’ll be amazed once you see the difference. The fantasy world, as filtered by Tobias Schlissler, is pretty gaudy, but you might get used to its old-time aesthetics. Finally, we have a pretty good adapation of the stage score by Sam Davis, particularly the title song.

- Wrap it up, Jethro.

- Kiss of the Spider Woman isn’t looking that hot at the box-office right now. But I hope enough people see it and take notice of what is certainly Tonatiuh’s star-making role. Its more established cast are good, but his spotlight shines the brightest here. You won’t want to look away once you get into this movie’s web. See it soon before it gets crowded out by everything else this weekend. That’s it for now.

Tron: Ares

 Tron: Legacy did all right fifteen years ago. It took quite a long while to get a sequel up-and-running, partially due to the Tomorrowland fiasco. That sequel is finally here in the form of Tron: Ares.

While the previous films had people digitized into the computerized world of The Grid, this film has warring tech companies Encom and Dillinger Systems plot to actualize digital constructs in the real world. ENCOM CEO Eve Kim (Greta Lee) has far better luck than Dillinger’s Julian Dillinger (Evan Peters), whose constructs “derez” after 29-minutes. The difference is that Eve has the “permanence code,” a parting gift from ENCOM’s “retired” CEO Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges). 

Julian actualizes his two best digital soldiers - Ares (Jared Leto) and Athena (Jodie Turner-Smith) - and sends them after Eve and the code. Once they catch her, Ares defies his programming and defends Eve from possible deletion. Athena, meanwhile, will stop at nothing to fulfill her directives. It all leads to a destructive battle of the constructs. That’s basically it.

Joachim Rønning and his writers create a pretty self-reliant sequel. You can probably skip not only Tron: Legacy, but the original Tron, and not miss much (except for the outstanding technicals). Its opening, done through news broadcasts shown from The Grid, handles the exposition pretty well. Its own story is overly long, and has some plot issues, but its plot is pretty decipherable.

The cast do all right with their roles. The real world and Grid pairs of protagonists are tangible opposites. Eve, having previously lost her sister and co-CEO to cancer, is doing it for life. Julian, whose grandpa was Tron’s Big Bad Edward (David Warner), is doing it for war and glory. In the middle of it all, we have Ares and Athena; one wants to learn more, the other is stuck in her programming. There’s not much to it, but it’s fine. The best acted scene is Bridge’s cameo as Flynn’s digital ghost, who shows that he might be really old, but he’s still The Dude.

In this film, The Grid turns out to refer to several digital worlds. Ares’ world is rendered in a striking black-and-red aesthetic. He and his fellow on-set warriors blend in seamlessly with the digital backgrounds and tech. The actualized vehicles, especially the famous light-cycles, are marvelous. When Ares visits Flynn, his Grid is a spotless recreation of the original film’s “primitive” look. I wonder if this effects team had it easier, this time. Any breaks in the verisimilitude are understandable considering they’re all digital creations. 

And finally, let’s talk about the soundscape. Tron was scored by Wendy Carlos, Legacy had Daft Punk, and this film has Reznor & Ross (credited under their band name, Nine Inch Nails). Like their predecessors, they accentuate the video game action with a perfectly appropriate techno score. A particular highlight accompanies Athena pilots a colossal Recognizer ship into the film’s unnamed city, ready for war. The sound design is also exquisite, whether it’s for the sound effects or the filters used for Ares and Athenas’ voices. I think I said enough.

There’s a recent book about AI, which spells out its authors’ fears in its title: If Anyone Builds It, Everyone Dies. Tron: Ares, with its self-aware human programs, is more optimistic than that book by a country mile. It isn’t too complex, but I doubt the human drama was ever the selling point of the franchise. You won’t be disappointed if you came in for the visuals; if you’re into human drama, my next review might describe something up your alley.

The Smashing Machine

 Let's get ready to rumble with tonight's match!

In this corner, The Smashing Machine, directed by Benny Safdie, a true-life story of one fighter's struggle against his personal demons!

In that corner, Marty Supreme, directed by Josh Safdie, a story loosely inspired by a true-life table tennis star!

Now, which one of these sports movies by these filmmaking brothers will come out on top? Find out this Christmas when Marty Supreme actually comes out!

....

I don't know who that is, but here's what I thought about this current film.

The Review

Our contender is a feature remake of the HBO documentary - subtitled The Life and Times of Extreme Fighter Mark Kerr - directed by John Hyams. It opens with Kerr (Dwayne Johnson) being interviewed in glorious VHS before he makes his MMA debut in 1997. It bumps up the quality once the bloodsport gets well underway. According to production notes, Maceo Bishop switches up the subsequent scenes from 16mm to 65mm, but I barely noticed any difference.

Kerr earns his monicker as he smashes through his subsequent fights. Outside of the ring, he lives a decent life with girlfriend Dawn Staples (Emily Blunt). Inside the ring, he can't fathom losing until he does so in Japan. Although the fight is ruled a no-contest, the initial shock exasperates Kerr's substance abuse problems. He eventually cleans up after an off-screen overdose, while pals and fellow fighters Mark Coleman (actual MMA fighter Ryan Bader) and Bas Rutten (as himself) coach him back to victory. But all that success worsens his relationship with Dawn.

It sells itself quite well on Johnson's performance. He's quite likeable as Kerr, who's only brutal because his chosen sport is brutal. He' quite charming as he boasts about winning - which he calls the "highest of highs" - during an interview. His time with Dawn gives him a few nice scenes, though there's a major caveat I'll discuss in the next paragraph. When he loses that first fight, you'll feel his bravado shatter as you wonder how he picks himself up. He does so pretty well, even if it involves another big loss. All in all, this is a standout performance from The Rock, as well as another triumph for Kazu Hiro and his makeup team.

As I said, Johnson and Blunt have some nice scenes, including a stop at a carnival. These moments are outnumbered by their quarrels, which usually involve Kerr overreacting to an innocuous comment.  You can probably count the number of scenes that result in no argument one hand. There's some property damage, notably Kerr punching a door into nothing twice, but not physical damage. One argument even escalates to Dawn trying to kill herself, the culmination of her own barely-explored addictions. Kerr calms her down, and she's literally driven out of the movie in a cop car. Their off-screen reconciliation and eventually brief marriage could've been conveyed better than a piece of epilogue text.

Anything else good? Bader proves quite a natural in his film debut. As Coleman, he's quite likeable whether he's acting as Kerr's pal or even potential opponent. He and Rutten also make for great mentors to Kerr. Their adversaries are also played by actual fighters, such as Cyborg Abreu (as Fabio Gurgel) and Satoshi Ishii (as Enson Inoue). Their experience, Safdie's editing prowess, the sound designers, and the aforementioned makeup team, render the fights appropriately brutal. The aforementioned epilogue lets the real Kerr play himself, which is kind of nifty. I think that's it.

The Smashing Machine is still contending for your box-office dollars. It could've done without all that arguing, but Johnson's performance makes it a decently interesting biopic. I went in knowing little about Mark Kerr, and I went out wanting to watch the original documentary. Thing is, it's not actually available anywhere, not even on HBOMax! That's a real disappointment. This movie, on the other hand, is all right. I think I said enough.

One Battle After Another

And now we go from One Paul to Another with One Battle After Another.

Paul Thomas Anderson's latest film has been hyped up as his most mainstream movie. It's got chase scenes, shootouts, bad language and fun stupidity. It doesn't have a mainstream source material - Vineland by celebrated hermit Thomas Pynchon (yes, the same Pynchon whose Inherent Vice Mr. Anderson filmed in 2014) - but it's got a nice runtime of 161-minutes. 

But Jethro, not everyone's gonna take to the runtime, or even its politics!

You can't please everyone, Baxter. Let's just get to it.

Back in their day, Ghetto Pat Calhoun (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Perfidia Beverly Hills (Teyana Taylor) fought The Man with their revolutionary group, The French 75. The film opens with them liberating prisoners at a Migrant Detention Camp run by Capt. Steven J. Lockjaw (Sean Penn), who soon becomes obsessed with Perfidia. Perfidia eventually sells out the French 75 to Lockjaw, forcing Pat to flee to the city of Baktan Cross with his and Perfidia's daughter, Charlene. 

Sixteen years later, Pat & Charlene are now Bob & Willa Ferguson (the latter played by newcomer Chase Infiniti). Lockjaw, now a Colonel, wants to join a spiffy Neo-Nazi club, the Christmas Adventurers Club. The only problem is that Willa might actually be his daughter. So, he shows up looking for the Fergusons with full military support. Deandra (Regina Hall), a former French 75er, spirits away Willa to a convent; meanwhile, a washed-up Bob struggles to reacclimate to the good fight. Sergio St. Carlos (Benicio Del Toro), a community leader and Willa's Karate sensei, is ready to help. Thus begins a three-way quest between Bob, Lockjaw's forces and even the Christmas Adventurers to find Willa first.

It sounds like a lot, but it hardly feels boring with Andy Jurgensen’s editing prowess. Midway through the film, we get a dynamite sequence of events as Bob flees Lockjaw's forces across town. He desperately tries to get in touch with his French 75 comrades. Their receptionist, “Comrade Josh” (Dan Chariton), refuses to talk until Bob answers a certain password, which he's since forgotten. It takes up quite a bit of the film, but it's so compelling that you'll hardly notice the time. In fact, all of the action scenes, such as the opening raid and the climactic chase, are dynamite. They're made especially dynamic by two of Anderson's other longtime collaborators: cinematographer Michael Bauman & composer Jonny Greenwood. 

Mr. Anderson's longtime casting director, Cassandra Kulukundis, is a guaranteed nominee for the inaugural Casting Oscar. There really isn't a weak link in this ensemble. As Bob, DiCaprio is more of a loser than an action hero, but he still tries to do good. You'll empathize with him as much as you'll laugh at his comically maddening password scramble. He and Infiniti have a great chemistry; the latter, in particular, is quite amazing when she asserts herself as the story's true heroine. As Lockjaw, Penn is a pathetic loser and a loathsome creep, which makes for a fascinating mix. He's oddly pitiable when the Christmas Adventurers give him a nasty surprise. All of that comes after he's horrifyingly and hilariously injured during the climactic chase, conveyed by excellent prosthetic makeup.

Who else do we have here? We have Sergio Sensei, who's more of a foil to Bob than a mentor, but he's still a cool guy. Taylor leaves quite an impression as Perfidia, who mostly disappears after the first half-hour. Deandra has no love lost for Perfidia, as Hall expresses in her best moment with Infiniti, but Perfidia's depressiveness makes it easier for the audience to. The Christmas Adventurers are mostly a bunch of losers, but John Hoogenaker's Tim Smith is their biggest standout. Eric Schweig also stands out as Avanti, Lockjaw's bounty hunter who eventually saves Willa at the cost of his life.

Over fifty years ago, Pynchon's novel Gravity's Rainbow baffled the Pulitzer Prize committee so much that they opted to skip out on that year's Fiction Prize. Pynchon's other novels, especially Vineland, aren't that conventional either. So, if you're intimidated by One Battle After Another's runtime, rest assured that it's a reasonable approximation of its most comprehensible themes. These themes highlight one of this year's most memorable films, as well as one of the most fascinating movies of all time. That's how good it is.

The Lost Bus

I don't think I was aware that The Lost Bus was driving to theatres this month. If I had been aware at one point, I completely forgot about it until I saw the trailer with The Roses at the top of the month. Don't let it pass you by, even if you wait until it premieres on Apple TV + this Friday. Let's get to it.

On November 7, 2018, Kevin McCay (Matthew McConaughey) is just a regular bus driver for the Paradise Unified School District. His family life is spent with his disabled mom, Sherry; his resentful son, Shaun, who is also sick with stomach flu (both played by actual McConaugheys Kay McCabe and Levi); the recent death of his estranged father; and a sick dog he puts to sleep that night. While some might scoff at the trauma conga line, it actually generally lines up with what Lizzie Johnson chronicled in her book, Paradise: One Town's Struggle to Survive an American Wildfire, which director Paul Greengrass & Brad Inglesby used for their screenplay.

As the Camp Fire erupts the following morning, Kevin rushes to deal with his family crises instead of to the bus depot. This makes him available to swing by Ponderosa Elementary School and help evacuate 23 stranded students (actually 22; one lucky kid's parents showed up in time). Kevin gets teacher Mary Ludwig (America Ferrera) to come aboard to help out. The mission is complicated when the fire spreads beyond everyone's expectations, forcing them to go further to the town of Chico. Kevin is naturally worried for his own family, but he has a mission to do.

Besides the trauma conga line, the build-up to Kevin literally answering the call is a long one. Before his fateful drive, he argues with his supervisor Ruby (Ashlie Atkinson) over his work ethic, argues with his ex over the state of his life, and is told by Sherry that Shaun really wants to leave. It's practically an eternity before he finally notices that gigantic smoke cloud. That long build up was the only thing that tested my patience in this 130-minute movie. That first half hour or so is pretty long, but it's still thematically appropriate.

Still, that first half-hour is quite suspenseful as we see the Camp Fire become an apocalyptic threat. Even if it takes Kevin too long to notice it, you'll feel it as Cal Fire Chief Martinez (Yul Vasquez) and his crew start fighting it. The Cal Fire crew get a substantial B-Plot, in which they contend with the environment, inadequate procedures and the incompetence that started it all; none of it is intrusive. Kevin and his charges face an ever-escalating series of complications, all of which make for perfectly intense set pieces. Mary hunting for water at a soon-to-explode campsite, an armed looter attacking the bus, and a heat-exhausted Kevin getting his second wind, easily justify a potential Editing Oscar for its three editors (including past winner William Goldberg).

Any technical nitpicks you might have become irrelevant as the drive gets underway. Besides the editors, the film also benefits from spectacular sound design, visual effects and cinematography by Pal Ulvik Rokseth. As the characters drive through blustering winds, smoke, flames and orange-tinted skies, it feels like they're driving through Hell on Earth, rather than Hollywood Magic. It makes it all the more cathartic when Kevin finally drives out of the inferno. James Newton Howard's score especially shines during that climactic drive. Whatever budget they had, it was worth it.

The characters themselves are mostly fine. The kids, save one, barely receive individuality, while Kevin's family barely appears on-screen. But the circumstances are dire enough that you'll still be invested in their safety. Kevin, Mary and Ruby are pretty likable and sympathetic, for the most part. Kevin and Mary's heroism, along with Ruby's diligence, will make you like them even more. Chief Martinez is quite engaging as he deals with the aforementioned complications. They all make a good ensemble, but I'm wondering why they left out Abbie Davis, the other teacher aboard the bus. Was it simplicity? 

What else can I say about it? I was kind of apathetic about boarding The Lost Bus; I stepped off surprisingly refreshed. I suspect it might be a hidden gem in later years, especially due to its minimal advertising. So, here's my way of telling you that one of the best thrillers and disaster movies in recent years exists. See it however you can. 

That's it for now.

A Big Bold Beautiful Journey

Over the years, there have been many films that I have considered reviewing here. A few years ago, a few such films included the melancholic sci-fi drama After Yang, and the culinary horror comedy The Menu. This year, the director of the former film (Kogonada) and the writer of the latter (Seth Reiss), team up to present A Big Bold Beautiful Journey. Let's see if it lives up to its title.

David's (Colin Farrell) car gets booted on the day of a big wedding. It’s not his wedding, but somebody whom the film isn’t interested in elaborating on. Anyway, a convenient dealership, The Car Rental Agency, shows up in a back alley. Its two clerks, The Cashier and the Mechanic (Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Kevin Kline), run the place like a casting agency (they have David’s headshots, for reasons), and The Cashier casts David as a Saturn driver (because that's all they have).

David meets Sarah (Margot Robbie) at the wedding, but nothing happens between them. On the drive home, David's talking GPS (Jodie Turner-Smith), who has a very familiar interface, asks him if he wants to go on A Big Bold Beautiful Journey. He agrees, and he gets redirected to Sarah at a gas station Burger King. Sarah, who also rented from the TCRA, gets car trouble, so she hitches a ride with David.

The GPS redirects them to magical doors that take them to specific points in their lives. For instance, David gets to relive the night he crushed it in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, which is also when his crush crushed his heart. Everyone sees David as he was, but we see him as he is now. The same goes for Sarah in her door worlds. Their past hangups threaten to tear them apart, but there's a happy ending for them.

Did everybody get all that? 

Because this isn't a film that explains much. In fact, its world-building is often done with proudly vague and generalized dialogue. David and Sarah's romantic flakiness is exposited with outlines, not dialogue. Stuff like the TCRA and the unnamed city is like a genre savvy movie parody. Yet, the film also wants to be a serious romantic drama. One minute, Sarah is ready to pump the breaks on their relationship because David doesn't really know her, or something. The next, they get in car trouble and stay at the "Timely Inn" (which is an admittedly amusing detour). We get vague hints of the TCRA's true purpose, but we have no real idea who they are. Even Big, which factors into Sarah's past, has hints of something bigger with its unplugged fortune teller machine. What I'm getting at is that the tonal confusion makes it a little hard to get invested in the central relationship.

It's a little easier to get into Kogonada's directing flourishes. The cinematography by Benjamin Loeb gives us some pretty scenery, both real and fantastical. The sky adorning the couple's first stop, a lighthouse, is overly romantic and nice to look at. Farrell's musical prowess in How to Succeed's opening number is a pleasant surprise; between that and the staging, here's hoping he and Kogonada do more musicals. Its sweet, sentimental score is nice to listen to, but the fact that it is by Studio Ghibli's favorite composer, Joe Hisaishi, in his first American film, is the film's biggest surprise. 

Amongst the supporting cast, a few highlights are actual couple Hamish Linklater & Lily Rabe, who play David's dad and Sarah's mom. They each get a scene where their respective kids talk to them in the door worlds. David gives his dad some needed moral support in his door world, and Sarah's mom gives her some in hers. Granted, the circumstances confuse an already confused plot, but the two of them make the most of their moments. Another confusing, yet decent moment, is when David suddenly becomes his dad and consoles himself (Yuvi Hecht) in another door world. I can go on, but I can't.

If you think this movie is for you, feel free to go on A Big Beautiful Journey to your local cineplex. You should probably hurry before it gets crowded out. Late in act two, David and Sarah, on a "break" from their journey, hike up to the moon (because, of course). Both comment that the experience is "beautifully strange," and "strangely beautiful;" either way they phrase it, that's what I think of this movie. 

The Long Walk

 Stephen King may have started his published career with Carrie, but he actually wrote another novel, The Long Walk, almost a decade earlier. It was eventually published in 1979 under his short-lived pseudonym, Richard Bachman, who also has another novel with a film on the way. But let's walk on over to the film out now.

Instead of yet another crummy future, we have a crummy past. In it, a second Civil War has led to a second Great Depression and a Totalitarian United States. Every year, fifty boys, one from each state, are chosen by lottery for The Long Walk, the nation's biggest sporting event. Supervised by a sinister Major (Mark Hamill), the contestants walk hundreds of miles until only one remains. The winner gets a huge cash prize and whatever else he wants; the losers, particularly those who can't keep up the pace after three warnings, get "ticketed" by their military convoy.

At the starting line, we find the likes of Raymond Garraty (Cooper Hoffman), Peter McVries (David Jonsson), Hank Olson (Ben Wang), Billy Stebbins (Garrett Wareing), Arthur Baker (Tut Nyuot), and Collie Parker (Joshua Odjick). Ray, who has it out for the Major, bonds with Peter, the idealist. How long can they keep up the pace?

Francis Lawrence, with his work on The Hunger Games franchise, is quite an appropriate director. Indeed, your mind might veer to Panem once the radio exposition establishes its bleak world. It might not have a huge budget to fully visualize its world, but the desolate landscapes filmed by Jo Willems more than suffice. There's barely any life on the beaten path, as if the Dust Bowl never ended. That's how bad it is. A particular highlight is when the walkers pass by two parked cars - a police car and a burning car. You'll be wondering what happened there.

You may also wonder how a film like this can be engaging. Well, Lawrence and screenwriter JT Mollner accomplishes that with their cast. It's quite compelling to watch Ray and Peter bond with each other and their fellow walkers. You'll want to keep up with these "musketeers" as they help each other keep up the pace. The tension is high whenever the convoy starts issuing warnings. The walkers just narrowly avoid getting ticketed multiple times, and it's never redundant by the time they finally get it.  What makes the convoy really cruel is how they keep warning obviously unfit contestants (one comes down with epilepsy, another suffers the worse broken ankle you'll ever see). The long-delayed mercy kills are nowhere near a relief.

Let's discuss a few characters. One walker, Gary Barkovitch (Charlie Plummer), gets on everyone's bad side - on-screen and off - when he gets another walker ticketed. His flippant behavior does little to change that opinion, but after a while, we fully understand how broken he is. We eventually pity him when he ends his own life. The Major isn't a nice man, to say the least, but he surprisingly takes it in stride when the walkers shout treason (or something like it). And finally, we have Judy Greer as Ray's mom Ginnie, who mostly just weeps hysterically. Considering the situation, you won't blame her too much. In fact, it's because of her presence that the film's ending, which is significantly tweaked from the novel, takes on a bit of a sour note. 

 Those that walk on by will get themselves a masterful dystopian thriller. You'll be surprised how funny most of the movie is, at least until the final stretch. At face value, the ending is rather bleak, but it's still interesting to think about. Of course, if The Long Walk doesn't suit your speed, then that other movie surely will. You bet that I'll run on by that film once it hits on November. That's it for this one.

Spinal Tap II: The End Continues

 In 1984, moviegoers were introduced - if they hadn't watched The T.V. Show in 1979 - to the most famous fictional rock band of all time in the most famous musical mockumentary of all time. They are Spinal Tap, stars of This Is Spinal Tap, and this is Spinal Tap II: The End Continues.

Rob Reiner, and his cinematic alter-ego Marty DiBergi, tell us what the band has been up to since the first movie. Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), the lead guitarist, has a guitar-and-cheese shop in Ireland. David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), the lead singer, now composes for true crime podcasts. Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer), the bassist, now runs a glue museum. Fifteen years earlier, the band tapped out because of tensions between Nigel & David. It turns out they're contractually obligated to play one last show, which they'll do in New Orleans. Marty and his crew film the band as they prepare for showtime. That's basically it.

I admit that I'm not much of a "taphead," being only vaguely familiar with a few of their jokes (like their speakers that go up to eleven, and the high turnover rate of their drummers) and their guest spot on The Simpsons. That said, I found plenty of delightful silliness packed into 83 minutes. Their new manager, Simon Howler (Chris Addison), is tone deaf in more ways than one. They lodge in a "ghost house" haunted by living tour groups. They get some weird auditionees for drummer, none more so than somebody from the Blue Man Group. We also get Nigel's weird fixation with cheese, an unfortunate incident at Derek's museum, and a pretty entertaining set list (mostly oldies).

What can I say about the characters? Well, for starters, Nigel & David have the only compelling story thread. As the concert nears, we’re told that something happened between these lifelong friends. Well, we find out why late into the film, and it's quite the Act Two bombshell. You'll have to find out for yourself what it is, but they do have a nice reconciliation afterwards. Derek's fine, but it's pretty fun to hear Shearer break into his Otto voice from The Simpsons in live action. A few supporting players return with their own humorous anecdotes. One of them, Jeanine Pettibone (June Chadwick), figures into the big bombshell, though I didn't realize the connection until after the movie. Did I spoil too much?

Who knows if Spinal Tap II: The End Continues will raise your afternoon up to eleven? But I think its brand of silliness will make your afternoon interesting. You might get the most mileage out of its story if you've already watched the first film. Those who haven't, like me, will have a lot to catch up to. If you want to see it big, see it now, for the end might end sooner than you think. Don't believe me? My local theater plans to demote it to a single nighttime showing starting Monday! Will it be around next weekend? Stay tuned ...

... Or not.

A Samurai in Time

A Samurai in Time was self-financed by filmmaker Jun’ichi Yasuda for 26 million yen. When it opened in Japan last year, it eventually made a billion yen, and won Japan’s equivalent of the Best Picture Oscar, the Japan Academy Film Prize for Picture of the Year. I say that’s a pretty good investment.

And now, if you want to see what the fuss is about, you can stream it on your favorite service. Let’s get to it.

In 1867, during the Bakumatsu era, Shinzaemon Kosaka (Makiya Yamaguchi) was just a regular samurai for the Aizu clan. One stormy night, he encounters Hikokuro Yamagata (Ken Shonozaki), a rival samurai, and they duel. Suddenly, Kosaka gets struck by lightning and awakens on a Jidaigeki (period drama) set in 2007. Just about everyone, including assistant director Yuko Yamamoto (Yuno Sakura), mistakes him for a dazed extra. Yuko helps him move in with a local priest (Yoshiharu Fukuda), and his wife, Setsuko (Manko Kurenai).

When an extra falls ill, Yuko helps Kosaka fill in. Pretty soon, Kosaka becomes a regular Jidaigeki kirareyaku (essentially a jobber). Eventually, acclaimed actor Kyoichiro Kazami (Norimasa Fuke), formerly a Jidaigeki star, announces his return to the genre and handpicks Kosaka as his co-star. Kyoichiro is actually an older Yamagata, who wishes to settle things once and for all. Kosaka, while initially reluctant, eventually comes around with a pretty drastic plan for the finale.

It would be easy to play Kosaka's temporal fish-out-of-water antics completely for laughs. Indeed, it's pretty funny as Kosaka discovers things like prop fish and a vacuum. It's also endearing to see him moved to tears after he watches his first Jidaigeki, and when he's offered some cake (when only the nobles of his time were allowed sweets). We laugh with Kosaka, not with him, as he encounters the intricacies of modern life. We even sympathize with him, particularly when he discovers the historical fate of his clan. It's quite tense when he and Yamagata film their final battle, in more ways than one. 

Kosaka is surrounded by a good supporting cast. There's his sword fighting instructor, Mr. Sekimoto (Rantaro Mine), whose stories as a kirareyaku are quite compelling. Yuko, Setsuko and The Priest are quite likable as they help Kosaka adjust to 2007 (they never learn the truth!). One scene in particular, which probably helped Yasuda win the Japan Academy's Film Editing Award, has the trio try to console Kosaka after he's seemingly rejected by Sekimoto. Of course, if he was rejected, there'd be no movie, but it's still fun watching it play out. Kyoichiro being Yamagata is a clever plot twist; surprising yet natural. Kyoichiro and Kosaka have great chemistry, which plays out wonderfully during the final battle. Tsutomu Tamura makes quite an impression as Kyotaro Nishiki, the star of the Jidaigeki Kosaka stumbles upon; what little we see of him shows him as a cool dude.

Now, for a bit of meta discussion. It was mostly filmed on Toei Kyoto Studio Park, a major filming location for Jidaigeki productions. When Toei's superheroes time travel, their adventures are filmed there too. It got me thinking of how Jidaigeki (and Kabuki) tropes evolved into those of Kamen Rider and Super Sentai (including those installments which overtly homage the genre).  Yuko, at one point, tells Kosaka of how she grew up watching Jidaigeki shows, and how much they mean to her. It's another compelling character moment. Overall, I was left with some more respect for the Jidaigeki genre. Avid fans of Japanese superheroes, or even casual film watchers, might gain some too.

I'm sure an American equivalent of this premise would be an Old West gunman getting a job on Western movies. It might give us a comparison between Hollywood's Wild West and the actual Days of Yesteryear. That would make for a great movie, too. But please see A Samurai in Time before someone gets that remake idea. I think that its unique fish-out-of-water story is well worth your time. What more can I say about it?

Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle

 Who’s ready to slay the box-office? Again?

Tanjiro Kamado, that’s who!

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba the Movie: Infinity Castle is, by far, the most anticipated anime film of the year, and it has the box-office to prove it. It starts off a film trilogy which is set to conclude the story of Koyoharu Gotoge’s manga by 2029. That’s quite a ways away, so let’s sum up the film we have now. And this time, we're going by the English dub.

When we last left Tanjiro (Zach Aguiler) on TV, he and his fellow Demon Slayers were having their final battle with supreme demon Muzan Kibutsuji (Greg Chun). But Muzan changed the locale to his stronghold, the Escher-esque Infinity Castle. Now, the elite Hashira and the rank-and-file Slayers have to fight their way through Muzan’s demonic legions to get to him. The film follows groups of Slayers around the castle, but it concerns most of its massive 155-minutes with three fights:

1. Shinobu Kocho (Erika Harlacher), the Insect Hashira, fights Doma (Stephen Fu), the demon who slew her sister and predecessor Kanae (Bridget Hoffman) in combat. It doesn’t end well for her.

2. Zenitsu (Aleks Le), hardly a wimp anymore, fights Kaigaku (Alejandro Saab), his treacherous training partner who is now one of Muzan’s Upper Ranks.

3.Tanjiro and his Hashira mentor, Giyu Tomioka (Johnny Yong Bosch), fight Akaza (Lucien Dodge), who slew fan-favorite Hashira Kyojuro Rengoku all the way back in Mugen Train. Akaza refuses to let decapitation get in his way, but a few flashbacks might help the Slayers.

And by few, I mean a lot. The film devotes a lot of time to the backstories of its main combatants. In particular, we're meant to sympathize, even if somewhat, with the villainous demons (which I've noted in the last few movies). Doma's backstory, as the figurehead of a scam cult, emphasizes the "somewhat" part, as he still comes across as a condescending creep. Kaigaku fairs a little better, as we understand his jealousy and resentment towards Zenitsu. It still doesn't absolve him, but it's progress. Akaza's fight and backstory is so long that it could be its own standalone feature; it's also, by far, the most compelling of the main bouts. It's surprising how much time zips by as you watch everything play out; still, some might think the flashbacks slow down the film too much.

Akaza's flashbacks introduce us to Keizo, his foster father and sensei. This easygoing man communicates tough love with his fists, while rarely breaking his smile. He and his daughter, Koyuki, give Akaza some much needed positivity up until their tragic ends. Nobody expected somebody like Channing Tatum would be cast in the role, up until his casting was announced last month. But his stoic voice gives Keizo a welcome cool dad vibe, fitting since he took the role for "cool dad points." Rebecca Wang, who dubs Koyuki, makes her a sympathetic and warm presence.

By now, you should probably know what to expect from the technical departments. The crisp animation, color palette and flashy sword effects, are still exquisitely done. A consequence of its extended length is that its flashy effects are somewhat overwhelming, which is partially why I didn't mind the flashback breaks. The production design fares a lot better on the eyes. Yes, I know the Infinity Castle has been around since the first season, but it's still an amazing locale, especially when we see it shift around to confound the Slayers. Series composers Yuki Kaijura and Go Shiina still churn out some impressive work. 

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba the Movie: Infinity Castle is a pretty satisfying start to this unorthodox series finale; the Akaza portions alone make its extended runtime worth it. Those uninitiated with the franchise need to catch up; the Mugen Train has well and truly left the station. Thankfully, the flashbacks provide some context for those just now hopping in. I'll leave it to you to decide when and where to see it. Here's hoping the momentum is still strong when the sequels pull in.

A few more things. It's kind of weird hearing Kiriya Ubuyashiki, the new leader of the Slayers, refer to the titular locale as "Infinite Castle" before he calls it "Infinity Castle" in the finale. What little we see of the non-mains are a few good character moments; Tanjiro and Giyu even get a surprisingly funny one at the start. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale

Ten years ago, the Crawleys of Downton Abbey ended their television days on their sixth season. A few films later, they're finally ready to say goodbye with the aptly named Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale. So, what can you expect from the Crawleys this time?

As usual, you can expect a lot.

Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) has finally divorced her husband Henry Talbot (Matthew Goode, who's been absent since the first film). The Crawleys find themselves mostly exiled from high society due to the "scandal." Lady Mary's American uncle Harold (Paul Giamatti, back from season 4's Christmas episode) returns with a new acquaintance, Gus (Alessandro Nivola). According to Harold, Gus saved most of Harold and Countess Cora's (Elizabeth McGovern) late mother's (Shirley MacLaine in the series) wealth from the collapsing stock market. But then Harold squandered it anyway on bad investments. He might, perhaps, get out of debt by investing in Downton.

Meanwhile, Lord Robert (Hugh Bonneville) bequeaths Downton to Mary as he plans to move out. Mary gets tapped to judge at the county fair, much to chairman Sir Hector Moreland's (Simon Russell Beale) objections. Mr. Carson (Jim Carter) is finally ready to retire, for real this time, as the butler. And finally, no less than Noel Coward (Arty Froushan) plans to visit Downton with star Guy Baxter (Dominic West) and his "assistant," Thomas (Robert James-Collier). So, yeah, there's quite a lot to unfurl.

You should probably know what to expect by now. And thankfully, everyone from series creator Jullian Fellowes, composer John Lunn and the technical crew, maintain their consistently excellent work. Its acidic wit is still accounted for, even if Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham (Maggie Smith), is no longer around to deliver it. Its huge ensemble is still compelling, as are their multiple subplots. Its visual splendor is showcased in DP Ben Smithard's long oner, which takes us on a tour across Picadilly Square, all the way to - and around - Coward's Bitter Sweet. This time, it takes quite longer to get to Downton and Lunn's theme. The wait is worth it.

Anything new to expect? Froushan is pretty entertaining and likable as the famously flamboyant Coward. He's especially likable when he recognizes Mr. Moseley (Kevin Doyle) for his screenwriting in the last film and compliments him. It's quite amusing to see Coward's mingling with the Crawleys inspire a few of his future stage hits (Private Lives & Cavalcade). Harold's fine, even sympathetic when he learns that Gus actually scammed him of his wealth. Gus, meanwhile, is initially a charming rogue, but he gradually reveals himself as so detestable that you'll wish for karma yesterday. Even if it only comes in the form of Mary's sister, Marchioness Edith (Laura Carmichael), telling him off. 

Its presentation, however, almost derailed the film experience. I don't know why, but two magnetized lines ran down the screen during my showing. It was quite distracting to say the least; fortunately, more than enough of the film made the distortions unnoticeable. A bit more noticeable was the audio mixing problem during the opening. The musical number in Bitter Sweet had its music track overwhelm the vocals exponentially. Shouldn't both tracks be equal? I hope you won't run into any problems like that if you see it.

Anyway, Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale, gives its cast a good last hurrah. It's still surprising how much information I've retained from the previous films. Indeed, it’s hard to feel nothing during its bittersweet finale, particularly when it focuses on Violet and Dame Maggie. Its calm sea of continuity makes it a surprisingly good introduction to the franchise in case someone decides to start here. They, and those avid fans, will still see the same entertaining costume drama. I'll leave it to you to decide when and where to see it. 

The End.

On to the next review.

The Roses

 So, what do you think of when I bring up The War of the Roses?

Do you think of that one war between two English Royal Houses? Do you think of that one movie that Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner did with Danny DeVito in 1989? Or do you think of that one novel by Warren Adler that sourced the aforementioned movie?

I'll bet when you watch Jay Roach's take on the novel, simply titled The Roses, you'll think of the older movie. Is Tony McNamara's loose adaptation just as funny as Michael J. Leeson's faithful approach for the 1989 film? Is it funny, period? Let's take a look.

Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch) & Ivy Rose (Olivia Colman) are the couple that most would envy. He's a successful architect, and she's an aspiring chef who's also a successful stay-at-home mom. He eventually buys her a lot for a restaurant, which she calls We've Got Crabs! Everything changes when the storm of the century hits; his dream Nautical Museum falls pathetically to pieces, while her restaurant hits it big thanks to a visiting food critic (Caroline Partridge).

A few years later, he's the stay-at-home dad and she's the breadwinner. This new arrangement slowly, but surely, drives them apart with resentment. They try to hide it with playful banter, but everyone immediately sees the writing on the wall. It takes a memorable jog before Theo finally decides to divorce Ivy. Problem is, neither of them want to part with their smart house. Will someone blink in this War of the Roses, or will they destroy each other? I'll bet you know the answer already.

But you'll have to wait a while for the "festivities." It's 102-minutes long, and the war officially kicks off about an hour in. Theo & Ivy partake in childish pranks, most of which are told in a montage. Their attorneys, Barry (Adam Samberg) & Eleanor (Allison Janey), have an entertaining verbal sparring session. It gets pretty nasty in the climax, when both sides resort to all-out attempted murder. The last few seconds all but spells out their fate, a memorable "oops" moment if I've ever seen one. All the fun of the older movie in this one's last half-hour. "Where's the fun in that?" you might ask.

An answer might be how it eviscerates the whole "till death you part" thing. Their friends, including the aforementioned Barry and his wife Amy (Kate McKinnon), point out the obvious tensions. Their marriage counselor, Janice (Belinda Bromilow), deems their marriage unsalvageable after one session. Their kids, Hattie & Roy (Hala Finley & Wells Rappaport), applaud them for finally pulling the plug. Naturally, the film doesn't think highly of obviously contentious couples. If divorce is a parachute, then the Roses should hurry up and use it yesterday. I mean, they had their chance. Several, actually...

The Roses start off as pretty good parents and partners. As the film went on, however, I found myself siding with Ivy way more than Theo. She, at least, tries to be sympathetic to him, but he counters with needlessly cruel jabs (particularly when he finally starts the divorce). We can sympathize with him - when we're not laughing profusely - when the museum collapse goes viral. We can also slightly sympathize with him when Ivy slanders him with AI. But his climactic attempt to kill Ivy with food allergies renders their reconciliation a little flat. It's admittedly fun to watch Cumberbatch act like a petulant brat, though. He and Colman get some marvelous insults, so there's some levity there.

What else do we have here? Ivy's skills in pastry architecture are nothing less than outstanding. You got to see her house cake, at least until she throws it around during a contentious dinner party. I don't know who actually made the dishes, whether it was Colman or someone else on the staff, but they were appealing (ignore some "extra" ingredients). Their smart house looks pretty nice, thanks to production designer Mark Ricker. Its opening credits, set to a cover of Happy Together, are visually imaginative. Finally, Theodore Shapiro adds to the soundscape with an exquisite score.

It's an amusing deconstruction of marriage, even if it's not as vicious as its predecessor (I don't miss the older film's dinnertime surprise, though). I think some of the film's new gags are pretty good. I don't think the film's pathos is proficient, but it has some moments. Overall, it might be worth seeing this peculiar film even once. If it gets you to look at the older versions, then it's done something right.

The Toxic Avenger

 A few years after its festival run, The Toxic Avenger, Macon Blair's reinvention of Troma Entertainment's signature superhero, has finally started playing at theatres near us. Should we dump it back in the sewers? Or should we let it rise? Let's find out.

Winston Gooze (Peter Dinklage) is a janitor trying to live a simple life Tromaville (St. Roma's Village). That life ends when he's diagnosed with a brain tumor, and his insurance won't cover him. He tries appealing to his employer, CEO Bob Garbinger (Kevin Bacon) of the BTH company, for help. Unbeknownst to Winston, BTH is a snake-oil company, and is singularly responsible for the town's poor health. Unsurprisingly, Bob and his henchwoman Kissy (Julia Davis) throw him out. 

Winston then tries corporate burglary, only to run into crusading reporter J.J. (Taylour Paige), and a murderous rock band called The Killer Nutz. The Nutz throw him into toxic waste, which mutates him into a creature nicknamed Toxie (Luisa Guerreiro, with Dinklage voicing the part). As Toxie bloodily cleans-up crime, Bob's benefactors at the mob start breathing down his neck. So, he concocts a scheme to extract Toxie's blood for scientific reasons (like superpowers). In the midst of this, Toxie has to reconnect with his stepson, Wade (Jacob Tremblay).

Everyone with me so far? 

The hardest thing to analyze is its sense of humor. It's unapologetically vulgar and gleefully gruesome, but then again, so are the Deadpool movies. What novelty is there when ultra-violent superhero media is now more common? Sure, it purports to be unrated, but it's actually rated R, released as the director intended. Oh, I think I explained the joke ...

Still, much like Deadpool, it still has fun stomping on cliches. Various parts of Tromaville are introduced with ridiculously gloomy names; some characters don't instantly die violently; an angry mob immediately forms after Toxie; Wade's appeal to Toxie's better nature - during the final battle - quickly falls apart. Its gruesomeness is admittedly still amusing; one particularly vulgar gag actually saves the day. I could go on, but that would ruin some of the fun. Indeed, it's all fun to watch, but I think it works best if you're watching with a crowd (I was the only one there!). 

Winston's plight is played for laughs as much as good taste allows. On one hand, his initial diagnosis is drowned out by an inconvenient construction crew. On the other, his talk with an uncaring insurance rep (Jane Levy) is hilariously maddening. His literal Save the Cat moment, even as onlookers ruthlessly mock him, gets us on his side right away. It's quite nice when he's celebrated as a hero by grateful onlookers at the end (including his creator, Lloyd Kaufman). Nothing seems amiss when Dinklage is switched out with Guerreiro; the suit work and dubbing are flawless. Toxie's makeup job, as well as those for his rogue's gallery, is perfectly freaky.

That rogue's gallery is perfectly headlined by Bob, who's so entertainingly, bombastically evil that he literally turns into the devil later on. Now, I made the mistake a few folks assumed with Toxie and thought it was Bacon underneath that makeup. That's actually Spencer Wilding (who also doubles as the Punk chicken masked Him Under the Hood), and he nails Bacon's mannerisms perfectly. Kissy, who seems to flip-flop between reluctant and willingly villainous, is all-out entertaining when she embraces evil. Fritz (Elijah Wood), Bob's brother, is a pitiable enough sad sack who turns good. Finally, we have Thad Barkabus (Jonny Coyne), the head mob guy, who doesn't add much for a secondary big bad.

J.J., in any other movie, would just be the deuteragonist. She's that, and the film's straight man, and it's quite amusing to see her confront the strangeness. She and Wade get a nice scene together as they bond over their recent bereavements (her sister, his mom). Wade, meanwhile, is decently likable, and is equally sympathetic in his strained relationship with Winston. Sean Dooley has a memorable cameo as J.J.'s boss, Mel Furd (the same name as Toxie's previous civilian identity), who gets one of the aforementioned prolonged deaths. The biggest supporting star, however, is David Yow, as Guthrie Stockings the Wise Hobo, Toxie's heroic mentor.

Now for the technical stuff. It gets pretty obvious whenever it utilizes CGI gore. Some might complain, but I'll let it slide considering this film's delightful unreality, which unless I'm mistaken, is also consistent with the Troma style. Practical effects aren't completely abandoned; there's an animatronic mutant bird who pops up for a few gags. Excellent production and costume designs further help visualize this unreality.

This movie, much like Troma's filmography, isn't for everyone. It's not only crass and violent, but Toxie doesn't show up until about thirty-minutes in. If you can tolerate that, you'll find yourself with a delightfully bizarre matinee. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's still messy fun. That's it for now.

Freakier Friday

Disney has adapted Mary Rodgers' novel Freaky Friday to film four times already. Some might remember the 1976 film with Jodie Foster & Barbara Harris but even more remember the 2003 take with Lindsay Lohan & Jamie Lee Curtis, the latter now has its own sequel. So, what happens in Freakier Friday?

It’s been years since Tess & Anna Coleman (Curtis & Lohan) had their Freaky Friday. These days, Tess is a successful podcaster and author, while Anna is a music producer and single mom to Harper (Julia Butters). Harper and her new classmate, the British Lily Reyes (Sophia Hammons), hate each other. The same can’t be said for Anna and Lily’s dad, Eric (Manny Jacinto); they’re about to marry after six months.

As the future stepsisters dread their lives together, they and the elder Colemans get separate seances with the eccentric Madame Jen (Vanessa Bayer). These seances instigate another Freaky Friday, where Anna switches with Harper, and Tess switches with Lily. As their elders go back to school, the stepsisters navigate the adult world. The girls also scheme to split their parents apart, which involves bringing in Anna’s High-School boyfriend Jake (Chad Michael Murray). Of course, things go wrong until they go right again. That’s pretty much it. 

This sequel only requires a tertiary knowledge of the first film's plot. If you haven't seen the first film, this one will give you enough context to know the returning supporting cast. Besides Jake, we have an antagonistic teacher (Stephen Tobolowsky's Mr. Bates), Anna's stepfather Ryan (Mark Harmon), and Anna's high-school bandmates Maddie & Peg (Christina Vidal Mitchell & Haley Hudson). Pei-Pei (Rosalind Chao), whose mother's (Lucille Soong) magic fortune cookies caused the previous body-swap, only appears during the fateful bachelorette party. But since they're uninvolved with a plot, something they point out, you won't feel lost if you don't recognize them.

Director Nisha Ganatra, who replaces the first film's Mark Waters, works with a script by Jordan Weiss & Elyse Hollander. There's plenty of hilarity as the four leading ladies work out their body-swap situation. It's kind of fortunate that they're kept in pairs following the switch, otherwise it might be way difficult to discern them all. Instead, it's slightly confusing. Anna-as-Harper and Tess-as-Lily goof around when they're not accidentally irritating "their" classmates (long story). Harper-as-Anna & Lily-as-Tess, however, get a pivotal subplot as they lend sympathetic ears to Ella (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan), one of Anna's clients. It's quite devastating when the breakup scheme succeeds, but again, it all ends well.

Of course, the four leading ladies' performances sell the body-swapping. As soon as they wake up, each pair feels like the other. I wasn't watching Lohan & Curtis as Anna & Tess; I was watching them as Harper-as-Anna & Lily-as-Tess. The same goes for Anna-as-Harper & Tess-as-Lily. Lohan gets believably silly when Harper-as-Anna tries to impress Jake (who, for his part, doesn't antagonize Eric). Curtis gets some of the best acted moments as Lily-as-Tess comes to terms with her late mom's death and realizes her selfishness. It's believably heartwarming when the "elder" Colemans connect with the "girls." Let's move on before it gets actually confusing.

What else does it have? When the body-swaps happen, everything spins around for a good while. It's quite dizzying, but it's also pretty impressive how seamless it all looks. For all I know, maybe it was done in-camera! Amie Doherty gives us a decent score, but you'll most likely remember the various pop songs on the soundtrack. A few highlights include Better Than the Last One, which is deliberately tasteless in context, and Baby, which is pivotal for Harper & Anna's reconciliation. Finally, we have a pretty likable supporting cast, with Eric & Ella being notable highlights. Particularly, Eric is sympathetic when he breaks up with Anna, while Ella is endearingly bathetic when she sulks over a breakup while dressed as a strawberry (long story?).

A lot of the jokes in Freakier Friday especially tickled the seniors in my audience. You won't need any body-switching to get their perspectives; there's something for everyone in this sequel. There's plenty of hilarity, yes, but there's plenty of resonant themes, too. This will surely join the first film on the watchlists of many a household in no time. You might see why if you check it out now.

BTW, did you know that the original novel had its own sequels? Two of them, A Billion for Boris and Summer Switch, actually have their own obscure film adaptations. Who knows if the third, Freaky Monday, might ever get considered for an adaptation? Are their legal issues involved?

War of the Worlds

 When Orson Welles broadcast his take on HG Wells’s The War of the Worlds in 1938, mass panic followed. If those same audiences were somehow able to watch director Rich Lee’s take, which Universal just released through Amazon Prime, mass confusion would follow instead. It certainly won't fool modern audiences either. Let's see why.

Will Radford (Ice Cube) keeps tabs on everyone for the Department of Homeland Security. As a side-project, he also keeps tabs on his adult kids, Faith (Iman Benson) and David (Henry Hunter Hall). A normal workday is disrupted by a worldwide meteor storm, followed by an alien invasion. As mechanical Tripods blast away, it’s up to Will to get his kids to safety. That’s practically it.

Oh, yeah, everything unfolds from the comfort of Will’s monitor. We see Will look through security cameras, Zoom-conference with family & co-workers, watch choppy footage of the Tripods’ attacks, and even scroll through Amazon in the climax. It’s not the first film to do this, but it’s probably the first of these films based on a famous novel. It’s a fine approach heat-rayed into oblivion by its execution.

First, let me talk about the visual effects. The ultra-storms that precipitate the Tripods’ arrival are appropriately freaky. The visualization of the Tripods, however, pale in comparison to the effects utilized by Byron Haskin and Steven Spielberg for their films’ alien war-machines. The obviously CGI Tripods’ rampages are made worse by city-scenes that barely acknowledge their existence. There's barely any mass panic or destruction, just an average Sunday. When Will hacks into a Tesla for Faith, the video feed shows nothing out of the ordinary. Even the ineptest monster movies have characters who actually believe they're being attacked by something unspeakable. What does this have?

Now, let’s talk about the characters. Will reacts to just about everything, even several fake-out deaths, with mild annoyance. He’s slightly more emotional when the invaders delete his late wife’s Facebook page (more on that later). He gets rather animated when Earth fights back, then zips back to dull disappointment when the invaders counterattack. Meanwhile, Faith, a science major who creates an anti-invader virus, takes a rebar to the leg at one point, and decides taking it out will stop the bleeding. Surprise, it doesn’t, but she survives with plot armor! Most of the other supporting cast, including Clark Gregg as the DHS director, and Eva Longoria as Will’s NASA contact, are not much to write home about.

Midway through the movie, it’s discovered that the invaders eat data! Yes, you and your loved ones’ Facebook pages are just four-course meals, as Will finds out. Their data munching even renders military vehicles and passenger planes useless! It later transpires that they're specifically here for Goliath, a MacGuffin of a Surveillance Program. So, why did they need to open their invasion with their war machines? It sounds more like a job for extraterrestrial subterfuge. The film never bothers to explain how any of this works. 

So, what does work? I'll have to admit that its climax, where Will races to upload the kill virus before bombers blow-up DHS headquarters, is pretty tense. Sure, most of the movie kept me detached from Will's situation, but the climax had me on edge. The sound design, at least, tries to sell us on the impending apocalypse as air raid sirens fill the air. The Tripods' war cry is nice and loud, even if I prefer the mechanized digeridoo which vocalized Spielberg's Tripods. Finally, it's pretty nifty how the film works in both the novel's Tripods and Flying Machines, rather than keep them to one type. It might not make a difference for some, but I find it a good touch.

And finally, should you watch it? Spielberg's film is infinitely more competently made, but it's one of the most harrowing sci-fi films ever made. This film is worth a few good unintended laughs. See it with a few friends and you might get a few good heckles in. It's a quick and easy ninety minutes, which is slightly longer than Haskin's film. But I'm sure you might have better uses of that time. I'll understand if you do.

Weapons

As you may recall, I skipped out on Companion when it opened earlier this year. That film's producer, Zach Cregger, is back already with Weapons, which he wrote, directed, produced and co-composed the moody score with the Holladay Brothers. I didn't skip that one.

One morning, at Maybrook Elementary School, Mrs. Justine Gandy (Julia Garner) walked into her third-grade class, and found only one student, Alex Lilly (Cary Christopher). Hours earlier, at 2:17 am, the rest of the class all ran out into the night. Naturally, most of the adults have questions, and they think the mousy Justine has all the answers. A month later, Principal Marcus Miller (Benedict Wong) places Justine on leave, partially for her own protection. An unseen stalker harasses her at one point, while a creepy clown lady haunts her dreams. She soon turns to alcohol ...

Meanwhile, Archer Graff (Josh Brolin), the father of one of the missing kids, starts sleuthing around. He eventually realizes the kids may have all been running in the same direction. Justine, meanwhile, notices Alex has been acting strangely for a while. It seems Alex knows a lot more than what he's telling the police. It seems that someone, or something, is behind it all. Justine and Archer team-up to get the answers.

The screenplay is divided into six chapters, each with a different main character. Besides the aforementioned, we also get chapters for Paul Morgan (Alden Ehrenreich), a police officer and James (Austin Abrams), an inept burglar. Throughout it all, certain events play out at least twice, while each chapter is usually capped off by an enticing cliffhanger. Each shocking turn sits with you while the mystery unfolds over the course of 128-minutes. It's a fun experience, even if I'm a bit bemused not all aspects were explained by the credits. No, I don't mean some of the supernatural stuff, I mean some of the mundane stuff. But that's just me.

The film also arms itself with a great cast. Justine quickly levels-up in assertiveness to cope with the madness but never loses her audience likability. She tries to check on Alex's well-being, despite rules on decorum, so there's that. Archer, meanwhile, is quite compelling as he manages his grief, even in misdirected ways. I almost thought Brolin would have the best acted scene in the movie, where Archer lets out his insecurities in a nightmare scene. That was before the film brought along its big bad, Gladys (Amy Madigan), who owned every single second of her screentime. Alex, meanwhile, is quite compelling once we realize him as the true hero of the piece.

Did you know that it's also pretty funny? Paul and James's animosity is played up more like a one-sided sitcom rivalry than a serious police procedural. By that, I mean that it's mainly due to Paul's bad luck and ineptitude. It's pretty good comic relief, which is made sillier when James almost becomes the accidental hero. Further levity is provided by Marcus and his husband, Terry's (Clayton Farris) happy home life, until Gladys comes calling. Marcus makes for a reasonable and likable authority figure, which makes his fate rather disturbing. But the film sometimes plays its scares for ridiculousness. It makes it enjoyable, in more ways than one, when Gladys is finally defeated.

What else do we have here? Whether they're being serious or silly, the film's scariest moments are constructed perfectly by editor Joe Murphy. You'll be on edge as Justine is harassed by the stalker, whose identity is all but spelt out a while later. The cinematographer, Larkin Seiple, gives us some wonderfully eerie visuals, the best of which come when he leaves the camera running. These moments are perfectly accentuated by the aforementioned score, as well as a pristine sound design. I must also take time to highlight the makeup team for their hard work in evolving Gladys and devolving her possessed victims. I might have said too much already.

Weapons' spectacular use of selective omission and overall craziness makes it a unique horror film. If anything, Gladys might be one of the best new horror villains ever. I struggled to avoid giving too much away when I wrote this review. So, I'll just leave it to you to see it all for yourself. I was impressed with what I saw, and I think you might be too. 

That's it for now.

The Naked Gun

Have you ever thought about life’s little mysteries?

Who was Jack the Ripper? What’s the meaning of life? Or, one of the newest ones, why does Lt. Frank Drebin Jr., who’s apparently in his thirties, look like 73-year-old Liam Neeson? Have any of them crossed your minds?

Fortunately, I have answers for the last one. The first is that it’s who director Akiva Schaffer and producer Seth MacFarlane cast in their new legacy sequel, The Naked Gun. The second is that it’s funny, the same logic that the Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrahams used throughout their works, including the film’s source show Police Squad.

Anyway, Frank is on the case when a dude turns up dead in an electric car. He thinks it’s suicide, but the dead man’s sister, Beth Davenport (Pamela Anderson), disagrees. A little, actual police work leads Frank to the dead man’s employer, Richard Cane (Danny Huston). Cane, unsurprisingly, is the big bad, whose literally named P.L.O.T. Device makes people needlessly violent. It’s up to Frank to stop Cane from using the device on New Year’s Eve. It’s also up to Frank to, maybe, convince city hall from shutting down Police Squad. Yeah, that’s also a thing.

These filmmakers, much like the ZAZ trio, never waste an opportunity for a joke. Whatever's funny, even a tangent with a killer Frosty the Snowman, is the logic of the day. A take-off on a certain scene in Mission Impossible: Fallout was especially enjoyable. Speaking of Mission Impossible, longtime series composer Lorne Balfe's often serious score is great contrast to the lunacy. Granted, not all of them can be winners (a variation of a certain Austin Powers gag went on too long), but nearly all of them hit. I can't give away too many of them, because, as The Joker once said, "if you have to explain a joke, there is no joke!" You'll have to see them all for yourself.

Of course, Neeson's ridiculous attitude and dead-serious delivery is the film's best joke. To put it one way, it's as if his Frank thinks he's in Taken instead of The Three Stooges. He's hilariously petulant when Chief Davis (CCH Pounder) reprimands him for his cowboy cop ways ("since when do cops have to follow the law?"). Still, that moment is surprisingly profound - even for a minute. I would complain about his tragic backstory being just exposition if the film didn't treat it as a joke. It's an amusing one, by the way. He has great chemistry with Anderson, who makes for an equally silly femme fatale parody. Huston, meanwhile, is a wonderfully smug villain who thinks he's all that, but he's really not. 

What else do we have? Well, it's semi-disappointing that the older films' police car opening gag wasn't reprised here. In its place, however, there's a great title gag, and an impressive end credits gag. We also get a few good supporting players with cop Ed Hocken Jr. (Paul Walter Hauser), henchman Sig Gustafson (Kevin Durand), and a nameless bartender (Cody Rhodes). That's not going into all the celebrity cameos, including one blink and you'll miss it cameo in the end. Sadly, I blinked.

 I was already watching the first Naked Gun plenty of times before I was ten. Sure, I didn't understand most of it, but I understood its wackiness a bit. Now that I'm older, I think that this Naked Gun does right by its famous franchise and its creators. Some folks might disagree, but anyone who wants nothing but laughs for 85 minutes will get their money's worth. And then some. Now, I can say that's it for now.

Sit back, because next time, I don't think I'll be reviewing something funny.

The Bad Guys 2

 Here come The Bad Guys, again.

That’s right, Aaron Blabey’s literary animal crew is back for another kid-friendly crime caper. Let’s see what they have to offer in The Bad Guys 2.

The film opens with Ms. Tarantula (Awkwafina) on her first mission with The Bad Guys - Mr. Wolf (Sam Rockwell), Mr. Shark (Craig Robinson), Mr. Snake (Marc Maron), and Mr. Piranha (Anthony Ramos). You’d think that she’d be the main character with that spotlight. But, no, it’s just a way to introduce the crew, as well as some guy who shows up for another scene. Okay.

After that, we see the now Good Guys trying and failing to get legitimate jobs. A Phantom Bandit starts up a crime spree, and everyone thinks that maybe the former Bad Guys did it. They decide to help now-Commissioner Luggins (Alex Borstein) find the real crook. They suspect, with good reason, that it’s Mr. Snake, but soon find him with his new girlfriend, Susan (Natasha Lyonne). Alas, Susan is a mean bird who nabs the crew for her cohorts, Kitty Kat (Danielle Brooks) and Pigtail Petrova (Maria Bakalova).

Kitty Kat and her Bad Girls want The Bad Guys to help them steal the Moon-X Rocket. Otherwise, they’ll leak Gov. Diane Foxington’s (Zazie Beetz) former secret identity as the nefarious Crimson Paw. Mr. Wolf, who’s semi-dating Diane, can’t let that happen, so the crew’s in. The Bad Guys try to outwit The Bad Girls, but they’ll have to settle their differences in space. That’s pretty much it.

The screenplay, by returning writer Etan Krueger and his new accomplice, Yoni Brenner, offers up some clever twists in a seemingly formulaic kid's movie. Some of them involve the cons within cons The Bad Guys pull on their targets, whether they be Mr. Moon (Colin Jost) or The Bad Girls. I was admittedly taken in by Mr. Snake being a red herring, so that's a good twist. It kind of strains when Mr. Wolf breezes through the commonality of the "Phantom Bandit's" loot. It's not that the commonality is called - get this - MacGuffinite, but how he suddenly realizes it. Maybe I'm overthinking it too much. 

The Bad Guys are still the same likable crew from the last movie. It’s fun watching them pull of a few capers during the film’s 104-minutes. It’s also fun watching Diane pull a few capers of her own to investigate the Phantom Bandit. It’s even more fun watching her and Wolf’s relationship play out. But it can’t all be fun and games. You'll feel bad for them as they come up short during a montage of unsuccessful job interviews. You'll feel especially bad for them, and Diane, when they all reach their darkest hour. It makes it all the more satisfying to see them one-up the Bad Girls. One final dark swerve is actually part of the film's best joke.

What can I say about the antagonists? Kitty Kat's smooth voice, ferocious temper, and lack of "thieves' honor" makes her a suitably menacing villain. She gets out of her depth a few times, though the film doesn't dwell too much on the inherent flaw of her masterplan. As for her cohorts, Petrova is considerably nicer than Kitty, while Susan (aka Doom) takes quite a bit longer to show her good side. Overall, the Bad Girls are all right, while returning villain Rupert Marmalade (Richard Ayoade) has a few surprises. Commissioner Luggins, while not truly evil, is very much an antagonist. But, in due time, we see how much a big lug she can be.

What else do we have here? The first film's 2D-style CGI aesthetics are alive and well in this installment. Heck, some of the best gags involve sudden art shifts to plain-old 2D. The action scenes, from the opening car heist to the later wedding heist, are as entertaining as the accompanying Daniel Pemberton score. When the climax hits, we are treated to perhaps the best visualization of outer space in an animated film. It had me thinking of Gravity as a fully animated film, which is a pretty exciting prospect. Still, I don't imagine that film would involve flatulence, which Mr. Piranha supplies plenty of here, but these jokes didn't bother me too much. It's surprisingly as relevant as Mr. Shark's jumpiness.

After nearly a year's wait, The Bad Guys 2 is out to steal your time. Let it, and you might be impressed by its clever twists. Let it, and your kids will surely be amused by its cartoon antics. Let it, and you'll distract yourself from the heat with a fun family action matinee. It's a harmless film, so I say go right in. Is that it for now?

No, for as you see, this film and the next one I'm reviewing were short enough that I doubled-up on them a few days ago. The second feature of my second ever theatrical double feature is coming soon. It might even come just seconds after I post this one. Wait for it, and ...

Shari & Lamb Chop

After a few years of playing the festival circuit, the documentary Shari & Lamb Chop finally makes its public theatrical debut. Lisa D'Apolito's chronicle of a woman and her puppet is pretty much worth the wait. So, how about we get to it?

Shari Lewis, the children's entertainment pioneer, grew up in a loving Jewish home in the Bronx. She wasn't raised on fairy tales like Cinderella, as her mother Ann wanted her to be her own woman. Her father, Abraham Hurwitz, meanwhile, was a professor, who was also the magician Peter Pan the Magic Man. He taught her showmanship, up to and including ventriloquism. She eventually took her act to the Captain Kangaroo show, which is where she conjured up her other half, the puppet Lamb Chop. 

Over several TV shows, Shari introduced Lamb Chop’s other puppet friends - Charlie Horse, Hush Puppy and Wing Ding. Her self-titled show, in particular, beat Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood and Sesame Street to the air by nearly a decade. But NBC didn't give her much credit; they didn't even tell her in-person when they cancelled the show in 1963. Afterwards, Shari and Lamb Chop took their act wherever they could. Shari sometimes went without Lamb Chop, but not for long. It all culminates in their triumphant return to TV in 1992 with Lamb Chop's Play-Along.

How about a few highlights? For starters, its chronicle of Abe Hurwitz gives us a fascinating look into his organization, F.A.M.E. (Future American Magical Entertainers), a club for aspiring magicians. It makes it look like a rather fun after-school program, and all the more essential for it. Its history lesson on ventriloquism, as well as watching Shari work, makes the craft enticing, even for a few minutes. An interviewee tells us how she performed a full act at a carnival to a less than packed house. As much as it's cool to watch her operate two puppets at once, or even dance with a full-puppet Fred Astaire, it's even cooler watching her professionalism at work. 

 I have residual memories of Play-Along, particularly from its intro and its entertainingly annoying outro, The Song that Doesn't End. I don't think I've ever realized how funny Lamb Chop could be outside of children's entertainment until now. It's quite unforgettable as we watch Lamb Chop drunk or even sass her own puppeteer! A few interviews with Mallory Lewis (Shari's daughter and Lamb Chop's current puppeteer) and Megan Piphus (muppeteer for Gabrielle on Sesame Street) paint a good picture of the duo's significance. Its most profound moment comes late in the film, as we look behind the scenes of Shari's final TV episode (this past Saturday marked twenty-seven years since her death).

What else do we have? I went in knowing a little about Shari's second husband, Jeremy Tarcher, a publicist and author. I didn't know much about their married life, particularly how they made it last forty-years. I knew even less about her first husband, Stan Lewis, a major figure on several TV quiz shows until that scandal. Suffice to say, I found the pictures painted of both her marriages to be rather vivid. There's quite a bit of ground that the film doesn't cover, such as the time she and Tarcher wrote an episode of Star Trek (Season 3's The Lights of Zetar). Still, what we get out of her life and career here is already thorough enough, so any omissions aren't that bothersome.

There's quite a lot to learn about Shari & Lamb Chop in this documentary. When it's all done, you might not help but tap your foot once The Song that Doesn't End kicks in at the credits. That's what I did; I didn't even move from my seat until the song finally ended. Whether you've last played-along with its subjects sixty, thirty or even ten weeks ago, Shari & Lamb Chop makes for quite a compelling documentary. It's worth a watch at any price. Tune-in soon.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps

 It’s reviewin’ time!

Say what you want about Tim Story’s Fantastic Four movies, but I think they’re pretty entertaining. Granted, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them, but I do remember them being better than the 2015 film. Even the first film’s teaser trailer, which I saw theatrically with Elektra, was much better than that cinematic disaster.

It took a long while, but Marvel’s first family finally makes their MCU-debut with The Fantastic Four: First Steps, which certainly lives up to that adjective. Let’s get to it.

It’s 1964 on Earth-828, as opposed to modern times on the main Earth-616. There, the Fantastic Four - Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic (Pedro Pascal), Susan Storm-Richards/Invisible Woman (Vanessa Kirby), Johnny Storm/Human Torch (Joseph Quinn), and Ben Grimm/The Thing (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) - are celebrating their fourth anniversary as superheroes. Not only that, but Reed and Susan are expecting a baby, which is cause for celebration and alarm. After all, who knows if the cosmic rays that mutated the Four will affect the newborn?

One night, the Silver Surfer (Julia Garner) announces that Earth is now the next course of her planet-eating master, Galactus (Ralph Ineson). The Fantastic Four visit Galactus to ask him to go away. The Big G agrees, just as long as he gets the Richards Baby, whom he realizes will be one of the universe’s most powerful beings. He’ll just transfer his insatiable hunger into the newborn and that’s that. Oh, and just to emphasize his point, he speeds up the delivery process. 

Naturally, the Four refuse the trade, which means Earth is still on the menu. But with Reed’s scientific abilities, Susan’s gift for diplomacy, Johnny’s interstellar detective work and Ben’s super strength, the Fantastic Four work up alternatives to drive off the Big G. I think that about sums it up.

Unlike Superman, this film, at least, gives us a tangible context for the Fantastic Four. We get a quick rundown, thanks to Ed Sullivan-esque TV host Ed Gilbert (Mark Gatiss), of how they got their powers, their adventures, and how they became the most important people on the planet. It's pretty much everything you need to know about this world in just a few minutes. You won't even feel lost at sea when Reed name-drops a few villains at one point, particularly because you'll have seen them fight several more. One of their villains, Harvey "Moleman" Elder (Paul Walter Hauser), even becomes a somewhat reluctant ally near the end. That's some great world building, to say nothing of the stunning retrofuture world "built" by production designer Kasra Farahani.

What can we expect from this team? Susan's role as the team diplomat gives her plenty of justifiable focus. She may have brokered world peace but watch out if you make her mad. Johnny's not too far behind, as he pieces together the Silver Surfer's backstory with good ol' linguistics. Reed is a bit callous and insufferable, but he rises to the occasion more than once. Ben, meanwhile, has some body issues, but he's mostly come to terms with his mutation. His relationship with a schoolteacher, Rachel Rozman (Natasha Lyonne), helps emphasize his moniker of the Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing. Their familial chemistry feels real whether they engage in petty squabbles, fight villains, or quarrel over how to protect the planet. Their robot buddy, H.E.R.B.I.E., is not only funny, but a pretty good ally when he needs to be. What else can I say? It's a Fantastic bunch, and they get slightly better when baby Franklin finally appears.

Our heroes are accompanied by some great villains. Galactus was previously depicted as a giant storm cloud in 2007's Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, much to many a comic fan's dismay. I'm sure those same fans will relish this Galactus's literally gigantic presence, as well as the practical depths used to visualize him. That's right, Ineson wore an actual suit that was only slightly modified with CGI. Galactus is a menacing villain, in more ways than one, but he's understandably driven by a cosmic role he detests. Sure, how he tries to remedy that is pretty selfish, but we can kind of pity him. It helps that neither he, nor his herald, indulge in their villainy. In fact, getting through the Silver Surfer's cold CGI-exterior proves to be the key to stopping the Big G. That's where Johnny's detective work comes into play.

What else do we have? Hauser makes the most of his minimal screentime as the egomaniacal, yet pretty cordial, Moleman. The Red Ghost, a name-dropped adversary, was cast with John Malkovich, who even appeared in the trailer, but he got cut from the film. It's a shame, but a fight with one of the Red Ghost's Super-Apes is a highlight in the opening reel. The film's biggest moment comes when the Four escape Galactus's ship, with the Surfer in pursuit, Susan heavily in labor, and our heroes flying through a blackhole at one point. It's a masterpiece in tension and visual effects, which is matched by the final battle with Galactus. These moments are accentuated by a stellar score by Michael Giacchino, who gives the film a rousing heroic theme as memorable as John Ottman's theme in the Story films.

Perhaps its biggest moment comes during the credits, where we get a sort-of prelude to Avengers: Doomsday, and a preview of the MCU's gutsiest casting choice ever. I know it's coming soon, but after spending nearly two hours with this Fantastic Four, I'm already waiting for their next standalone film, whenever that is. Hopefully, it will be worth the wait. In the meantime, why not take the first steps to watch The Fantastic Four: First Steps? I think they'll be worth it.

'Nuff said.

Superman

This looks like a job for ... another reboot!

I'm not complaining.

It has been twelve years since the DC Extended Universe began with Man of Steel. It has been a few years since it finally ended with Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. It has been half-a-week since James Gunn's Superman, the starting point of the new DC Universe, came out. It has been a few days since I saw it. Let's get to it.

Perhaps realizing how ubiquitous his origin story is, Gunn instead drops us in Superman's third year of heroics. As the text recaps, Superman (David Corenswet) caused an international incident by intervening in the invasion of the country of Jarhanpur by their neighbors, Boravia. Boravia sends The Hammer of Boravia, an armored "metahuman," to trounce Superman, a fight whose aftermath opens the film. He does slightly better in the immediate rematch, though.

The Court of Public Opinion comes for Superman when Lex Luthor (Nicholas Hoult) leaks his parents' last message. So, it turns out that Jor-El & Lara (Bradley Cooper & Angela Sarafyan) actually wanted their son to conquer Earth. He didn't know that; the playback didn't get that far. It's part of Luthor's scheme to help Boravia continue the invasion of Jarhanpur. With Superman locked away in Luthor's interdimensional prison, it's up to Lois Lane (Rachel Brosnahan) to rally a few allies, human and metahuman, to save the day. They'll have to hurry, for Luthor's interdimensional warp is about to tear the planet apart.

Who else is in the story? We get the Justice Gang, which consists of Green Lantern Guy Gardner (Nathan Fillion), Mr. Terrific (Edi Gathegi), and Hawkgirl (Isabella Merced), who are later joined by Metamorpho (Anthony Carrigan). Jimmy Olson (Skyler Gisondo) has a substantial subplot with Luthor's gal, Eve Teschmacher (Sara Sampaio). A few other names include Vasil Ghurkos (Zlatko Burić), the President of Boravia; Jonathan & Martha Kent (Pruitt Taylor-Vince & Neva Howell); and, of course, Krypto the Superdog, who's simply a good boy. I haven't scratched the surface of this cast; I'd be here all day if I went further.

Despite its mammoth cast, the film's plot is generally easy to follow. Its most substantial supporting players fit their narrative or thematic roles rather well. The Justice Gang, in particular, are presumably more seasoned heroes, and aren't as idealistic as Superman. Superman's goodness grows on them throughout the film, even if Mr. Terrific's character growth is the most noticeable. I actually enjoyed Jimmy's subplot, as it not only gives him his biggest spotlight in years, but also an enjoyable scene partner with Eve. Lots of other names pop up here and there, though you don't need to read nearly ninety-years of comics to understand them. 

We're told that Jarhanpur has an "authoritarian" leader that Ghurkos wants to "liberate" the country from. Thing is, we don't really meet that leader, whoever they are. On the other hand, we're not supposed to trust Ghurkos, and we're given plenty of reasons why as the film goes on. When the Boravian army breaks through the border, a Jarhanpurian crowd calls out for Superman, which is answered in spectacular fashion by the Justice Gang. It's a crowd-pleasing moment, though it could've been more profound if we had seen - not just told of - Superman's first intervention. It's fine that it skips through Superman's origin, though it's less fine that it delegates most of its backstory to "tell, don't show."

Thankfully, there's plenty of stuff to see here. In this iteration, Lois is not only Superman's secret keeper, but they're dating as well. Corenswet and Brosnahan have excellent chemistry together, whether in good times or in bad. Their "breakfast-for-dinner" date is charming, though it turns tense when she grills him on his intervention. You'll feel it when Superman exasperatedly justifies his intervention with "people were going to die!" Still, that's not enough to sour anyone's perception of this relationship. It gets better from here.

What else do we have here? Superman saving various civilians and pets from collateral damage is just as awesome as his punch-ups with bad guys. His final showdown with Luthor lets him outline his persistent dedication to good in spectacular fashion. This Luthor, meanwhile, is beyond arrogant and morally loathsome, but he's quite entertaining when he gets his comeuppance. It's these moments that help make Corenswet perhaps the best Superman since Christopher Reeve. While the film's makeup work is impressive, its biggest highlight is Metamorpho's otherworldly visage. It's quite captivating to watch Metamorpho go from one of Luthor's victims to superhero. While the film has impressive visuals, it also has several impressive variations of John Williams's iconic march, courtesy of composers John Murphy & David Fleming.

I'm sure a lot of people might recognize a few political parallels as they watch this Superman. I'm sure a lot of them might profoundly object to them. Those people have clearly missed the precedence for such parallels (Superman IV ring a bell?). Why should that bother them? Why, in this movie? I mean, Gunn has made it fun to believe that I man could fly. Check out this Superman and you might have fun, too.

That's it for now.

Jurassic World: Rebirth

Welcome back to Jurassic World. Enjoy it while you can.

It turns out that dinosaurs can’t survive modern Earth, save for the equator, which is where Jurassic World's dinosaurs have moved to. Martin Krebs (Rubert Friend), a big pharma guy, figures out he can cure heart disease with DNA samples from three certain dinosaurs on the island of Ile Saint-Hubert. So, he puts together a team consisting of mercenaries Zora Bennett (Scarlet Johansson) & Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali) and paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), to hunt for those prehistoric MacGuffins. 

The team saves a shipwrecked family, the Delgados, from their first target, a Mosasaurus. Their other targets, a Titanosaurus and a Quetzalcoatlus, reside further in-land. The whole party is stuck, so they might as well enjoy the view. Things get further complicated when our heroes discover hybrid dinosaurs, specifically the Mutadons (winged raptors) and the Distortus Rex. It turns out the island was InGen's dumping ground for dinos, normal or hybrid, too dangerous for their theme parks. Oh yeah, and Krebs isn't really a good guy. 

That basically sums up Jurassic World: Rebirth. It doesn't sound like much, but after all the narrative fronts and one needless subplot in the last film, it's refreshing to have something so basic. While Team Zora's quest is to "get the MacGuffins and get out," the Delgados trek through the wilderness to safety. It's pretty concise, narrative wise, even if its 134-minutes are a bit excessive. It doesn't do much with the D. Rex, who gets introduced in the cold open, and only pops up as the final boss. The Mutadons, at least, are introduced jumping actual velociraptors before their intended target even notices them. But I think it could've helped the film if our heroes realized the island's purpose a lot sooner. 

Early on, we see that people are getting bored with dinosaurs. Basically, they thought de-extinct dinosaurs were better when they were new. It's kind of comparing that to people getting bored of the CGI effects Jurassic Park pioneered. The problem is that metaphor was fresh when Jurassic World used it for the Indominus Rex plot. Not so much here. Still, it's easy to feel Henry's joy when he comes across a Titanosaurus herd, a moment accentuated by John Williams's iconic theme (as incorporated by Alexandre Desplat). They may be all CGI, but the dinosaurs are as tangible as their human co-stars. Some animatronics work exists, but it's that hard to tell when and where they are. Those expecting some dino action will not be disappointed.

So, who are the Delgados, you might ask? We have Reuben (Manuel Garcia-Rufio), his daughters Teresa & Isabella (Luna Blaise & Audrina Miranda), and Teresa's boyfriend Xavier (David Iacano). All they want to do is survive, which is an understandable motivation, to say the least. At one point, they out-raft a T-Rex on a raging river in a scene adapted from the original Jurassic Park novel. When Rexy catches the raft, we know but Reuben doesn't, that Isabella got away in time. You'll be happy for him when she catches up with him. Overall, they're a lot more compelling than most of the dinosaur's actual kills, who are mostly just there. 

What else do we have here? We get a pretty good main trio with Zora, Duncan and Henry. Henry chewing Altoids maybe an overly long gag, but it's certainly a funny one. Zora and Duncan not only have great chemistry together, but they get some stand-out moments against the hybrids. Krebs is an okay big bad, even if he does get a pretty memorable end. Williams (Adam Loxely), an InGen scientist, is trapped with the D. Rex for the film's cruelest death. You'll almost forget the silly circumstances that led up to that moment. You won't forget, however, John Matthieson's cinematography, when the D. Rex emerges from red smoke. 

I wonder if Dominion was even necessary, given what we learn of the dinosaurs here. But, nah, going from Fallen Kingdom to Rebirth would've been worse. Still, judging by the box-office results, I don't think that people are tired of Michael Crichton's dinos just yet. It's a decent matinee, and if a later sequel expands on the island plot, then it will be worth more than that. That's what I think, anyway. 

Up, up and away to the next reviews.